Misery Loves Fantasy

We're late, we're dads, and Sean came with a list. Charley will trade Omarion Hampton for $5 FAAB (seriously, send the offer), Charley admits he picks up every player Sean drops on purpose, and the Bucs won without completing a pass. Plus Tony Pollard, Tee Higgins over Ja'Marr Chase, the Cowboys and quantum mechanics, Joe Burrow on Bortles Watch, Luka in person, $37 cocktails, clapping etiquette, and Sean's pitch for a fan penalty box. Then DadZone: a 20-month-old who refused the stroller all Halloween.Got a fan penalty box idea? DM us on Instagram.Misery Loves Fantasy is a comedy podcast about fantasy football and the friendships it ruins. Not an advice show.

Two weeks ago Charley wanted the Bucs to tank. Then Tampa had one of the greatest quarters in NFL history. Sean is all in on JJ McCarthy and the first-place Giants. We pick who we want traded most before the deadline, the Heat start 0-4, and Bob loses by 0.2 points with the Tony Pollard game. Then DadZone: Charley's baby is perfect, so he's wondering whether to stop at one. Sean, a dad of three and one of five, has thoughts.Misery Loves Fantasy is a comedy podcast about fantasy football and the friendships it ruins. Not an advice show.

Charley's Bucs are 1-5, so he's trying to become a Rays fan and a 49ers fan in the same week. Sean says there are no Rays fans. Plus: Caleb Williams is "Gen Z Aaron Rodgers," the next-coach-fired bet, and two DadZones, including a projectile-vomit car ride you will feel in your body.Misery Loves Fantasy is a comedy podcast about fantasy football and the friendships it ruins. Not an advice show.

Charley traded with his own brother in the guillotine league: Javonte Williams, Davante Adams, and Matthew Stafford for Jahmyr Gibbs and Tetairoa McMillan. Half the league thinks it’s collusion. Sean doesn’t, but he brought FantasyCalc receipts, a five-thousand-point gap, and a theory involving The Prestige. Then Charley owes a public apology for something else entirely, and delivers it.Once the real show starts: the Giants tie Washington after Jameis drags them back and Jayden Daniels lets a minute run off the clock in overtime, which leads to Sean’s pitch for a new NFL job. Every team needs one person on the sideline whose only responsibility is counting timeouts. Sean will do it for less than you think, and he has a plan for the last 20 seconds.Also: the Bucs win a game they should have lost, Nabers’ 40 expected points, Jauan Jennings has 9 yards on 111 routes, and Mike Evans is John Wick.DadZone: the last first haircut, and why you never warm the milk.

The Giants are in first place. The Bucs are 0-4 and sixteenth of sixteen in the NFC. Charley's rookie quarterback threw for 29 air yards in a full game, so he's wearing a Mike Evans jersey and scouting college prospects now.Sean survived another week of guillotine despite losing Ja'Marr Chase in the first quarter, which is somehow worse than dying. Then the real misery: two of Charley's oldest friends pulled off the league's first-ever three-team trade — the thing he's been chasing for twenty years — and did it without him. Sean has the texts explaining why.Also: the Puka Nacua–Derrick Henry theory, the Power Ranger shoulder test, the worst trade Charley ever made (accepted at a margarita bar outside a playground), and a pitch to route every trade text through an AI before you hit send.DadZone: Kat asks follow-up questions about the fantasy team. Sean has too many toys.

Recorded a few days late, which gave Charley time to walk througha Las Vegas casino full of Eagles fans leaving a sports bar aftera loss. He describes it as a top ten sports memory.Then we go back through the best waiver pickups of our careers.Sean picked up Victor Cruz at 12:55 on the Sunday of Week 1 in2011 and got 1,536 yards out of it. He picked up Darius Slaytonon Christmas morning in 2023, won the semifinal on an 80-yardgarbage time touchdown, and did not speak to his brother againuntil the new year. And in 2013 he picked up a quarterback thathis opponent had dropped four days earlier, then beat him withfour touchdowns and a helicopter dive.Also: a guy who drafted six quarterbacks and two tight ends onautodraft is still alive in our 18-team guillotine league and hasoutlasted three people with decades of experience. JaxonSmith-Njigba is on pace with Marshall Faulk and Marvin Harrison.Charley has Brock Bowers in all three of his leagues and hasrenamed every team accordingly. And Sean has thoughts aboutpeople who use therapy language without ever having been totherapy.Misery Loves Fantasy is a fantasy football podcast for people whotake it far too seriously and get nothing back. Two friends of 25years, no rankings, no advice, just grievance.New episodes weekly.CHAPTERS00:00 Recording late02:40 Guillotine: the autodrafters are still winning09:00 One of the worst games I've ever watched13:35 Walking past the Eagles fans21:50 An undrafted rookie might start for Tampa30:00 Only three players have started a season this hot38:20 The best waiver pickups of our careers51:50 Upon This Brock56:40 Regret draft picks1:05:30 The Dad Zone

Last week Charley said losing to Deshaun Watson would be a lowmoment for him as a sports fan, and then said it wasn't going tohappen. It happened.So we flipped a coin to decide who got to be miserable first.Charley makes the case against Todd Bowles — 29th, 29th and 27thin pass defense, 2-9 since starting 6-2, and a scheme the rest ofthe league figured out four years ago. Then he ranks the eightworst bad beats in Buccaneers history, including Bo Jacksonrefusing to play for them, a Super Bowl trip lost to a rule theNFL changed the next offseason, and the season the locker roomgot MRSA.Sean needed 1.76 points from Malik Nabers on Monday night and hadto wait three hours to not get them. Jaxson Dart got hurt, CalebWilliams got hurt, and the Bears scored three points a week afterscoring 59.Plus: has a player choosing to rehab an injury instead of gettingsurgery ever once worked, and a panic meter on five guys who havedone nothing through two weeks.Misery Loves Fantasy is a fantasy football podcast for people whotake it far too seriously and get nothing back. Two friends of 25years, no rankings, no advice, just grievance.New episodes weekly.CHAPTERS00:00 The coin flip01:10 The case against Todd Bowles16:40 The 8 worst bad beats in Bucs history25:30 The Giants, and Jameis29:20 1.76 points41:10 The Bears scored three48:40 Panic meter58:40 The Dad Zone

Week 1 is done and we're both, somehow, in a good mood about it.Charley paid for NFL+ Premium specifically to save money, thenspent opening Sunday watching it fail on four different deviceswhile holding a two-month-old in a sweater meant for a toddler.It ended on a piracy site. It ended worse than that, actually.Also: Sean's AJ Brown bet lasted exactly one week, Caleb Williamsput up four touchdowns in the highest-scoring Week 1 game in NFLhistory, and Josh Allen has now had two passing and two rushingtouchdowns in Week 1 three years running.Plus: eight players scored 30+ points this week, the most in 35weeks. Sean makes Charley name the seven players who've led allflex scoring more than once in two years, and it does not go well.Bob got chopped from an 18-team guillotine league in the firstweek. And Sean plays 18 holes while actively vomiting.Misery Loves Fantasy is a fantasy football podcast for people whotake it far too seriously and get nothing back. Two friends of 25years, no rankings, no advice, just grievance.New episodes weekly.CHAPTERS00:00 He can't hurt me for fifteen dollars03:00 Caleb Williams put up 5909:20 The Giants are actually good19:50 Josh Allen has done this three years in a row21:30 Guillotine: Hayden lives, Bob does not30:20 Eight players scored 30+34:40 Name the seven41:40 Real or fake: Week 1 breakouts50:30 Misery of the week59:20 The Dad Zone

An 18-team guillotine league. A new owner who accidentallyautodrafted five quarterbacks. And a trade offer sent late atnight by the man who runs the league. Charley prosecutes, Seandefends himself, and the jury of 16 leaguemates gets to decide.Also: LeBron takes the Polymarket check, Michigan gets bailedout by a clock nobody can find, and Sean pitches a fantasy appwith no projections — because nobody actually knows whetherDenzel Boston is going to score 7.7 points this week.Plus a Survivor-format fantasy league we're seriouslyconsidering building, our season bets, and The Dad Zone.Misery Loves Fantasy is a fantasy football podcast for peoplewho take it far too seriously and get nothing back. Two friendsof 25 years, no rankings, no advice, just grievance.New episodes weekly.CHAPTERS00:00 LeBron and the Polymarket ad06:00 Whatever happened at Western Michigan12:25 The trial of Sean Dooley40:00 A fantasy app with no projections44:40 A Survivor-format fantasy league50:00 Season bets1:04:00 The Dad Zone

Season two is here and we're already behind.Sean runs a game called Baby Don't Hurt Me: six draft picks so catastrophic they left permanent psychological damage. Justin Jefferson's 2 touchdowns. Brian Thomas Jr. going from WR7 to WR43. Stephen Ridley getting benched by Belichick in week one and never being heard from again. And the single worst pick in fantasy history, which somehow ended with Bob getting rescued by his own homerism.Then we set our bets for the season, settle up on how badly wedid last year (Charley went 1-8), and find out that Charley'sbrother — who did not attend his own draft — won an 18-teamguillotine league.Plus: we launch The Dad Zone.Misery Loves Fantasy is a fantasy football podcast for peoplewho take it far too seriously and get nothing back. Two friendsof 25 years, no rankings, no advice, just grievance.New episodes weekly.