#129 ‘It’s a joke’ - Ep 6 Columbus - legend and loser

European sailors in Columbus’s time had only rudimentary instruments, with no means of measuring longitude, and only a vague idea of how far north-south they were. So how on earth did they find the island of Hispaniola, over and over again, after weeks out of sight of land? There are some outlandish theories... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Columbus may now be dressing up like a friar and searching for the Garden of Eden but he and his brother are still cutting off the Arawaks’ hands if they fail to deliver a monthly quantity of gold. Horrified, Ferdinand and Isabella send a judge to bring the Admiral of the Ocean Sea and his family, home in chains. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Columbus’s second voyage - the showy Armada of 1493 - reaches Hispaniola they find that the Arawak, including the chief who rescued Columbus from the shipwrecked Santa Maria on Christmas Eve 1492, have had enough. The avaricious, raping crew left behind at fort Navidad are now a pile of bleached bones. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Columbus is told where to find ‘pieces of gold as big as the ship’s great stern post.’ And that where the gold is, there are people called ‘Caribs’ who not only have bows and arrows, but also eat human flesh. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Within two days of Columbus making first landfall on an island he named San Salvador after his God, Columbus had kidnapped several men to take to Spain to train as interpreters. To prevent them escaping, he then rounded up ‘seven head of women,’ along with three children. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nobody believed Columbus could reach the Indies (Asia, home to the Grand Khan). So why did Ferdinand and Isabella back him? The answer is all tied up with a torrid affair. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Columbus the romantic hero is a myth created in 1777 by the Scottish historian Revd William Robertson. It hit the big time with Washington Irving’s biography 50 years later. Tales of lone scientific geniuses were becoming popular and Columbus had been snapped up by rebellious American colonists waving their newly minted Declaration of Independence. But the historical research was hopelessly flawed. Columbus had been wrong about pretty much everything. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After years of negotiation and confrontation, Pope Clement VII was heard swearing unpapally over Henry VIII’s divorce. And no wonder. The history of Henry’s pope is a murky tale of code-breaking and ruthless sieges that involves Michelangelo and Machiavelli and a great deal of double-dealing. Pope Clement was trapped between a rock and a hard place: the only way to save his Medici family’s city of Florence was to refuse Henry his divorce and split Christendom. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of what we think we know about Anne Boleyn turns out to be later invention, with no historical basis. We argue that she was a MacGuffin: she was necessary to the way things turned out for Henry, but unimportant in herself. We’re not even sure he was in love with her. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Ambassadors painting by Hans Holbein reveals the French horror at Henry’s decision in January 1533 to defy the pope and get remarried to a pregnant Anne Boleyn. But since Henry couldn't get an annulment he had no choice. No big-time European princess would marry him. With the Spanish seriously weakened by war, Turkish invasion and protestant revolt in Germany, and Henry’s French allies now needing him more than he does them, Henry’s long game to get the Pope on side against the Spanish is now in extra time. Henry is free to make himself head of the Church in England. See the painting at the National Gallery, London. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.