283. Why Burnout Shouldn't Be the Price Of Being a Working Parent with Dr. Anne Welsh

Whether you stay home with your family, work at home with kiddos, or are out in the workplace, we strive to bring guests that cover all lifestyles. That’s why we are so excited to have Dr. Anne Welsh on today’s episode to focus on the working parent. As a mother of 4, Dr. Anne is an expert on transitioning from working person to working parent. She is also a psychologist who started her career at Harvard, now working as an executive coach and consultant with a deep passion for empowering women. Throughout this episode, Dr. Anne explains why the stress of being a working parent is a systemic issue, not just an individual issue and some strategies to reframe stress as a working parent to keep you focused on your beliefs, boundaries, and bandwidth. We talk through how shame and guilt come into play when you're feeling like you’re not giving enough to your career or home life, and why asking for help from your village is SO important (and how to do it!). Lastly, we discuss finding your “glimmers”, the things that bring you joy everyday and drive resiliency against future stress. We really wish we had these tools when we started out in working motherhood, but are glad to have now heard the information. We hope you also feel inspired and would love it if you would share this episode with a working parent in your life!Links & Resources:First pack of Goodwipes for free!Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT30% off your first order of Cornbread Hemp using code ‘HERSELF’Follow Dr. Anne Welsh on InstagramDr. Anne’s WebsiteMessage Dr. Anne, mention you listened to this episode and tell her what stuck with you to get a bonus discount on her next group cohort!Emily Nagoski’s book, “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle”Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastJoin our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We know our community has been asking for more Amy and Abby episodes lately so we hope this one hits home. We are both sharing our top three lessons that we’ve learned over time. We cover avoidance and how it’s rarely the answer, the importance of getting the basics down when it comes to your health, and how self-awareness is the number one step for positive change. You know that friendship is an important topic around here and we share the lessons that we’ve learned around that, explain how you can’t change someone else’s perception of you, and discuss decision making; are you in decision making fatigue? If any of these life lessons resonate with you, share this episode on Instagram. That is a great way to support our show and get these episodes in more ears.Links & Resources:BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfGOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfFORAGE KITCHEN: Check out their website to find a location nearest you!Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastJoin our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Do you find yourself feeling dysregulated more often than you’d like? Dr. Amber Thornton, licensed Clinical Psychologist, is on the show today to talk with us about how we can recognize and work with the different triggers that can set us off. If you are someone who tends to stress about worst case scenarios that “might” happen, she has some tips for you. Or maybe you dread the infamous 2nd shift of parenthood; that time between school/daycare and bedtime? Dr. Thornton shares some strategies to help us cope with the overwhelm that can come at that time of day. She leaves us with realistic expectations we should be setting for ourselves and reminds us that at the end of the day, we aren’t going to be able to meet every single one of our child’s needs, and that’s okay. Links & Resources:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF MAUI NUI: mauinuivenison.com/herselfCYMBIOTIKA: 20% off and free shipping on first order  https://partners.cymbiotika.com/HERSELFFollow Dr. Amber Thornton on InstagramDr. Amber’s WebsiteOrder Dr. Amber’s Book; A Parent’s Guide to Self-RegulationLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastJoin our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Dr. Morgan Cutlip, relationship expert, is no stranger to the HERself Podcast and we are so excited to have her back for another episode! Together we will be tackling “mental load” with tangible strategies that can actually work for you, your relationship, and your home. We talked with Dr. Morgan in episode 162, and in episode 163 we shared how we implemented her wisdom. But today, we’ll be diving deeper into our relationships to understand why sharing the mental load can prevent burnout and resentment and how to keep the spark alive to have a satisfying sex life. Like Amy and Colin, we know some of you in our community travel for work or have a spouse that travels for work. We acknowledge that this dynamic makes sharing the mental load challenging, and Dr. Morgan has some strategies to consider to foster communication while apart. Intimacy can play a major role in feeling connected to your partner too, so we encourage you to take to heart the details of Dr. Morgan’s interview with us today to nurture your relationship and feel connected outside and inside of the bedroom!Links & Resources:Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’20% off at Vuori ClothingJoin us for Book Club starting soon, plus so much more in our private Patreon community!Follow Dr. Morgan Cutlip on InstagramDr. Morgan’s WebsiteOrder Dr. Morgan’s Book; “A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Load for More Fun, Less Resentment, and Great Sex”HERself Episode 162 - Dr. Morgan Cutlip Answers Our Top Relationship Questions HERself Episode 163 - Real Partnership: How We Implemented Dr. Morgan Cutlip’s Relationship WisdomLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastJoin our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today on the podcast, we are talking about a vulnerable topic and human experience: shame. While we know it’s not always comfortable to talk about, we also know we aren't alone in our experiences and that sharing is how we all learn and grow. To help us walk through the topic of shame, we have invited Dr. Zoe Shaw on to today’s episode. Dr. Zoe is a psychotherapist, author, podcast host, and speaker who is passionate about helping women through difficult relationships and helping them overcome complex shame and codependency. Dr. Zoe talks us through the difference between simple and complex shame, people who may be more inclined to experience complex shame, the part that shame may play in our romantic relationships, and how codependency can impact our shame cycles. Today’s episode is unlike any other episode. It is truly impactful and we will be thinking about this episode for weeks and months to come.Links & Resources:20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping Team SuperCrew use code ‘HERSELF’ for 10% your purchase PLUS free gift10% off at BETTERHELPFollow on Dr. Zoe Shaw on InstagramDr. Zoe’s WebsiteListen to Dr. Zoe’s Podcast: Stronger In the Difficult PlacesPreorder Dr. Zoe’s Book; “Strong In the Difficult Places…”’Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastJoin our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Relationships are at the foundation of our everyday connections. Friendship, family, and romantic relationships take dedication for both sides to feel validated and loved. We know relationships are hard, which is why we invited Dr. Thema Bryant to share with us her incredible knowledge and expertise. Dr. Thema is a psychologist, author, professor, and President of the American Psychological Association. Through her work as an educator, podcast host, and her newly released book, “Matters of the Heart”, Dr. Thema is leading the way in creating healthy relationships, healing traumas, and helping others overcome stress and oppression. This episode gave us a new way of thinking about our own relationships and we walked away with so many insightful new ways to shift our mindsets surrounding love and relationships. Dr. Thema’s answers to our deep and personal questions were so well spoken, we know you’re going to take away a lot from today’s episode too!(Trigger warning: emotional and sexual abuse discussed)Links & Resources:Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT30% off your first order of Cornbread Hemp using code ‘HERSELF’Get your first pack of Goodwipes for free!Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’Follow Dr. Thema Bryant on InstagramDr. Thema’s WebsiteListen to Dr. Thema’s Podcast: The Homecoming PodcastPurchase Dr. Thema Bryant’s Book; “Matters of the Heart”Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastJoin our exclusive community for bonus episodes, extra video content, book club and more!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today’s episode was inspired by our personal experiences and a blog post from The Gottman Institute all about perpetual versus solvable problems in long-relationships. As close friends, we’ve had a front seat to the common disagreements and issues that we each have in our 10-year long marriages. We often will talk through something and try to see the other partner’s side, while also working towards solutions - which is what you’ll get to hear in today’s episode. The Gottman blog post was so interesting to us because it made us realize that what may be a solvable problem for Abby and Colin, may be a perpetual problem for Amy and Drew and vice versa. According to The Gottman Institute, 69% of problems in relationships are perpetual with the most common topics being household chores, parenting, sex, and in-law relationships. We are digging into a couple of these topics today and breaking down whether this is a perpetual or solvable problem in our own relationship and what we’ve done to work on it together as a couple. We hope that from listening to our personal experiences in today’s episode, you’re able to reflect if your marital arguments are perpetual or solvable problems in order to evolve with your partner and be in a really happy marriage.Links & Resources:20% off your order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 20% off your first order at Vuori ClothingCheck out the Maui Nui Venison products we’re loving!The Gottman Institute Blog Post, “Managing Conflict: Solvable vs Perpetual Problems”Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We know a lot of listeners in our HERself community are busy moms, including us! We've got households to run, kids to take care of, careers to advance, spouses to love, and friends to support. Today on the podcast Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein, licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two, is here to deep dive into stress and burnout, something that is unfortunately common amongst moms. Dr. Carolyn is passionate about supporting moms in finding their worth, helping them embrace the human experience not just with evidence-based strategies, but also with deep compassion and understanding. While stress may be a normal human response, unmanaged and compounding stress without intervention can lead to inevitable burn out. We hope that through today’s episode, you are able to learn the signs and symptoms of burnout and feel prepared with some strategies that Dr. Carolyn shares. Today’s episode was eye-opening knowing that if we just pause and evaluate, it’s possible to take small steps in the right direction to avoid burnout.Links & Resources:20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’Check out LeVillage on Instagram and their website to find a location near you, and be sure to grab tickets to our event at the new Des Plaines location on March 21st!10% off at BETTERHELPFollow Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein on InstagramDr. Rubenstein’s WebsiteLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today’s conversation is all about…conversation! We are happy to have Dr. Alison Wood Brooks joining us on the podcast. Alison is a behavioral scientist as well as a professor and Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School. She created and teaches a course called “TALK” and has now taken her research and published it in her new book also titled TALK! Many of us as parents want our kids to grow and learn in the area of communication - communicating with us, with their friends, with teachers or coaches, etc. Whether you have extroverted or introverted kids - this episode is for you. We touch on things like how to help your extroverted child find balance in discussions by letting others participate, and teaching introverted children how to feel comfortable in conversations to create strong friendships and excel at school. We also discuss how to approach difficult topics, especially with our significant others. And we end the episode elaborating on the importance of apologies and why this comes easily to some, not so easily to others, and some techniques to help bridge that gap. Links & Resources:20% off your first order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping Use code ‘HERSELF’ for 10% off your Team SuperCrew purchase, PLUS free gift!Free sample pack with purchase of LMNTFollow Dr. Alison Wood Brooks on InstagramAlison’s WebsitePurchase Alison’s Book; “Talk: The science of conversation and the art of being ourselves”Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We all have twenty four hours in a day. And when your plate is full with things like a romantic relationship, kids, a career, keeping up your home and taking care of pets, friends, and other obligations, every piece on that plate gets a designated amount of your time. Some seasons of life, the time you have for friends is plentiful - thinking back to our youth with school friends, college friends, and friends at your first job. Friendships came easily then because you had the time to pour into them. Now as adults, it can be hard to find the time to create new and meaningful friendships or keep existing friendships going. Today on the podcast, we are sitting down to have a conversation about our experiences with friendships through our seasons of life. We share the concept about friendship “tiers” and how that relates to our new and existing relationships, our most important values in friendship, and what we feel about friendships with the opposite sex. Our goal is that after listening to today’s episode, you feel hopeful that whether your friendship cup is big or small for your current season of life, that your cup can be full!Links & Resources:Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’20% off your first purchase of Vuori ClothingCheck out Maui Nui Venison and the limited HERself collection30% off your first order of Cornbread Hemp using code ‘HERSELF’Episode “59: HERself Expert: Dr. Marisa Franco on the Challenges and Triumphs of Adult Friendships”KU Med professor, J. A. Hall’s article, “How many hours does it take to make a friend?”Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.