27: PACT Therapy, Attachment and Betrayal Trauma with Stan Tatkin

In this continuation of our conversation with Chandler Rogers, we dive deeper into his journey of recovery from pornography addiction and the ongoing challenges of healing within his marriage. Chandler shares honestly about what it means to keep showing up in the work of recovery—not just for himself, but for his relationship—and how hope can grow even in the midst of setbacks. We also explore Chandler’s powerful decision to create Relay, an app designed to fill in the gaps he saw in traditional recovery support. Relay was born out of his own experience and the recognition that people struggling with addiction need consistent accountability, connection, and encouragement outside of therapy or group sessions.Chandler's story is an important reminder that Recovery is ongoing. Healing from porn and sex addiction isn’t a one-time choice—it’s a daily practice of showing up for yourself and your relationship. This episode offers inspiration, practical insight, and a reminder that healing—both personally and in a marriage—is possible when we’re willing to reach for support and keep leaning into growth.Want to Learn more about Relay? Click hereConnect with us by booking a free 15-minute call!

In this follow-up conversation with therapist and author Jon Lee, we continue our deep dive into emotional regression and its profound impact on couples recovering from betrayal. Building on the foundation we laid in Part 1, Jon and I explore how regression shows up in relationships—when intense pain, fear, or shame pulls partners back into younger emotional states that can feel overwhelming and destabilizing.We discuss the ways regression complicates communication, trust-building, and repair, and how it can create cycles of disconnection even when both partners desperately want to heal. Jon offers clinical insight and compassionate strategies for recognizing regression in real time, staying grounded, and learning how to respond to one another with empathy instead of reactivity.Whether you’re a betrayed partner, a person working to rebuild integrity, or a couple navigating the aftermath together, this episode provides tools and perspective to help you move toward connection rather than getting stuck in regressed patterns.Want to connect with us? Click here to book a free 15-minute call.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Chandler Rogers, a recovering porn addict and the founder of Relay, a group-based recovery app designed to support those on their healing journey. Chandler shares his personal story of seeking help for his addiction long before it was discovered—a rare and powerful experience that sheds light on the strength it takes to face the truth head-on.He opens up about the vulnerability it required to be honest with his now-wife early in their relationship, the ups and downs of recovery, and the reality that honesty doesn’t erase the ongoing struggles. Chandler reflects on moments of setback, the weight of shame, and the vital role that connection, accountability, and personal ownership have played not only in his healing but also in inspiring him to create a community where others can find hope and support. Also, be sure to catch Marnie's conversation with Scott and Susan Rankin just before the podcast starts about the HCH Online Couples Community, a supportive space designed for deep connection and healing, opening its doors to a small group of couples this September.Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call

In this episode, Marnie unpacks a critical truth in the betrayal recovery process: sexual sobriety is not the same as relational healing. In other words, just because the acting out has stopped doesn’t mean the relationship is safe or healing. In fact, ongoing emotional / integrity abuse can re-traumatize a betrayed partner. Marnie explores why emotional sobriety is just as essential as sexual sobriety, and what it really takes to rebuild trust and connection after betrayal. A betrayed partner needs emotional safety, not just behavioral changes. Trust isn’t rebuilt by abstinence — it’s rebuilt by transparency, accountability, and empathy.Simply stopping problematic sexual behaviors (porn, affairs, acting out) does not address the underlying relational damage caused by betrayal. True healing involves rebuilding the foundation of the relationship.If you've ever said or heard "But I'm sober...”, this conversation is for you.

In this powerful and eye-opening conversation, Marnie sits down with renowned author and therapist John Lee, whose classic book Growing Yourself Back Up has helped thousands understand the profound impact of emotional regression on adult relationships. Together, we explore what emotional regression is and how it silently shapes our reactions, the difference between responding as an empowered adult vs. a wounded child, and how identifying your own triggers and patterns of regression can create healthier relationships.We introduce practical tools for recognizing when you’ve been “emotionally hijacked” and how to avoid relational ruptures in those moments. Perhaps most important, we discuss the importance of developing the necessary awareness and compassion that can break cycles of blame, withdrawal, fighting, and relational despair. If you’ve ever wondered why certain moments with your partner (or any loved ones) trigger outsize reactions or why the wounds of betrayal take over in the heat of conflict - this conversation is for you.Learning how to spot and shift emotional regression is one of the most empowering skills we can develop—for ourselves and our relationships.Buy John's book Growing Yourself Back Up Here!Purchase The Anger Solution Master Class Here!

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with betrayal trauma coach and actress Maddie Corman to explore the profound power of community in the healing journey. Maddie opens up about the importance of not going through pain alone, and how finding connection with others can be a lifeline during life’s most difficult moments. We also discuss the Empowered at Sea retreat, a transformative experience designed to support, uplift, empower, and inspire. Join us for a heartfelt conversation about resilience, support, and the courage to heal together.Learn more about Empowered at Sea: https://helpingcouplesheal.com/empowered-at-sea/

In this deeply honest and compassionate episode, Betrayal Trauma Coach, Therapist, and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Adam Nisenson shares his personal journey through the heartbreak of being betrayed by his now ex-wife—and how that experience transformed both his life and his work. Now the founder of betrayalshrink.com, Adam offers vital support and resources for men navigating the aftermath of infidelity. We explore the raw realities of male betrayal trauma, the often-overlooked emotional toll it takes, and how men can begin to reclaim their sense of self and safety. Adam also discusses his powerful book, A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal: Overcoming the Pain & Repercussions of a Cheating Partner, offering practical guidance and insight for those ready to begin healing. This conversation is a lifeline for anyone walking the lonely road of betrayal—and a testament to the resilience of the human heart.Betrayal Shrink Website: betrayalshrink.comCheck out Adam’s book: https://a.co/d/fdk7BMITake the MBT (Masculine Betrayal Trauma) Recovery Assessment:betrayalshrink.com/mbt-assesment

In this episode, Marnie, Ilyse, and Luke sit down to share an inside look at Bridge to Connection—Helping Couples Heal’s 5-week online group coaching program designed specifically for couples navigating the painful aftermath of betrayal. Together, they explore how couples can benefit from ongoing structure, a slower pace than a workshop, and the opportunity to process what they’re learning between sessions. They also emphasize how community is key; being with other couples who truly get it—is not only comforting, but vital to the healing process.This conversation dives into the heart of what makes Bridge such an impactful program: a potent blend of expert-led psychoeducation, exponential growth through powerful coaching, and the intimacy and dynamics of the group. Through weekly 90-minute coaching calls and access to thoughtfully crafted on-demand video lessons, couples are supported in understanding the core issues driving disconnection and begin to rebuild safety, trust, and emotional intimacy.They encourage listeners to consider how they learn and heal best, and to recognize that rebuilding after betrayal requires more than insight—it requires support, connection, and intention.The next Bridge to Connection cohort begins June 2nd. If you’re ready to feel less alone and more equipped to face what’s ahead—together—this could be the next best step. To learn more or to register, reach out to us at [email protected]

In this honest and deeply personal conversation, actor, writer, director, songwriter, and musician Josh Radnor opens up about his journey away from pornography and alcohol, and the deeper realizations that led him there. Together, we explore the often-overlooked harms of porn — how it distorts intimacy, disconnects men from their emotional selves, and shapes the way boys grow into men. Josh reflects on the cultural messages that normalize these habits, the pain they often mask, and the liberation he found in stepping away. This episode is a call to curiosity, compassion, and courageous self-inquiry — for anyone questioning what true connection really looks like.Subscribe to Museletters by Josh Radnor- https://joshradnor.substack.com/See Josh Radnor on Tour: https://www.joshradnor.com/tour

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks to Joanna (marriage and family therapist) and Matthew (relationship coach) Raabsmith about their story of betrayal and recovery. Joanna and Matthew share how hard work, fierce commitment and the principles outlined in their book “The Intimacy Pyramid” created the foundation necessary for healing their marriage and relational transformation.Buy their book here: https://www.amazon.com/Building-True-Intimacy-Creating-connection/dp/B0C2RX95WNTogether, they lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team.