Episode 22 - Chapter 16: He swims in my eyes by the bed

Final chapter. After staring some of her greatest fears in the face and surviving, Kirsty realises she is stronger than she ever imagined. If that can be true for her, the girl who was born existentially depressed and chronically fearful, it's true for everybody. Soundtrack: 'Shake It Out' by Florence & the Machine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Kirsty ventures to Italy to work as an au pair for a 10 year-old girl but her declining health takes a toll. In spring she heads to the Greater London countryside, where she is surrounded by fragile lambs and brand new foals, as well as cheap drugs and sad men. Soundtrack: 'Apres Moi' by Regina Spektor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efhpWuzcGYs Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Kirsty realises she had been going through life as a wounded child, but when forced to defend herself in a life or death situation, she reunites with her true self. The grown woman who had been hidden away for years comes back as protector and fighter. Soundtrack: 'Praying' by Kesha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-Dur3uXXCQ Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

When a first date turns ugly Kirsty's new found sobriety is challenged. She finally understands that no-one is coming to save her, and claiming her life back is up to her, and only her. Soundtrack: 'Me and a Gun' by Tori Amos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jjaiM71CtI Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Kirsty finds comfort in the women she meets at the SLAA and CODA meetings she attends. Women who have been beaten down, largely by men, work together to build each back up. Kirsty is able to see that despite feeling stuck in her heartache, she is making tiny steps toward healing. Soundtrack: 'Release' by George https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdqhy2sDL5w Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Kirsty attends her first 12-step meeting and notices the parallels of her addiction with the stories of those around her. A new Doctor makes her a tempting offer to get back on opiates, which ends up being critical turning point. Soundtrack: 'Dealer' by Lana Del Rey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn86aScbzKk Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Rather than being a seedy, intimidating place, Kirsty discovers that rehab is filled with sad, sensitive people, just like her. Soundtrack: ⁠'Incomplete' by Kirsten Moore https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o98zejvH5j0 Other music videos from 'Breathe & Repeat' -⁠ Break Free⁠ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FULvIfqgYS0 ⁠- Tuscany https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09s79AXXOC8 Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

On Boxing Day 2017, Kirsty is whisked away to a drug and alcohol rehab facility, where her issues with codependency and love addiction are also revealed. Soundtrack: ⁠'Rehab' by Amy Winehouse/> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUmZp8pR1uc Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Withdrawing from painkillers and love, Kirsty endures Christmas at a rowdy German bierhaus with extended family, excitedly asking about her 'romantic' holiday. Soundtrack: ⁠'Breathe Me' by Sia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwB56IYDfWs Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore

Having chewed her way through a months worth of painkillers in less than ten days, Kirsty and her new boyfriend were on the road to find someone who would prescribe opioids to a young Australian girl in the Tuscan countryside. This was not the romantic getaway either of them had been anticipating. Soundtrack: ⁠'Habits (Stay High)' by Tove Lo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2LWWORoiM Shop the book (paperback & eBook): http://www.kirstenmoore.com.au Full memoir playlist - Spotify Music & Memoir playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SZm3MU4hdGpqdL6Q81TUM Linktree - Everything else! https://linktr.ee/kirsten_moore