Fainting Into Quicksand

Accents, prank calls, criminal speeding, and snack tacos. Somehow, it all fits together. Mark and Chris start with a Northern Irish French teacher whose accent turned "don't shout out" into something considerably more memorable, then wander through Flight of the Conchords, being terrible at remembering names, and elaborate memory tricks that are somehow more work than simply writing things down. From there, it's back to the pre-caller-ID world of prank phone calls, ringing your friends' doorbells at exactly the wrong time, and childhood neighborhoods full of inexplicably angry men. Then come mall jobs, Sbarro, Golden Corral, and Mark's soul-destroying stint at KB Toys repeatedly turning mechanical dogs right-side-up. Things escalate with a trip through Arizona, a speeding ticket that crosses the line into "criminal speed," an intimidating small-town courtroom, and a Honda Accord buried hopelessly in desert sand—until a mysterious stranger in a 4x4 appears, pulls it free, says absolutely nothing, and disappears. Naturally, it all ends with fast-food economics, Mark's passionate defense of Del Taco snack tacos, and the birth of a new American tradition: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Snack Taco Evening.

A loose, ridiculous improv comedy podcast where two friends spiral through comedy chaos, strange memories, dumb tangents, and whatever nonsense derails the conversation next. The tangents are back, and this time they have tangents of their own. Episode 12 wanders through slide carousels, early tech nostalgia, random nonsense, and, naturally, quicksand.

Mark and Chris talk on-ramps, revisit Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and wander through another batch of random, ridiculous nonsense.  You know the drill.

In this episode, Mark and Chris fully embrace the chaos and bounce from childhood memories and oddly specific games to cultural hot takes and the strange things that stick with us over time. They take a deep dive into the mechanics of a completely ridiculous tabletop game somehow turns into a full-blown philosophical discussion about language, nostalgia, and why certain experiences feel way more meaningful than they probably should. They question whether any of this even makes sense. The conversation drifts (intentionally) into stories about family, awkward social moments, and the kind of over-the-top reactions that only make sense in hindsight.  Plus Tiddlywinks.

Language Parlor makes a triumphant return as Mark and Chris overthink words, pronunciation, and the ridiculous poetry of everyday speech. From Seinfeld references and the "information superhighway" to absurd Starbucks orders, first-world problems, and why a worm farm is absolutely not happening, Episode 9 leans hard into evolving bits and casual chaos. Less polish, more personality—just how it should be.

In this episode, Mark and Chris pinball through a wide-ranging mix of travel misadventures, childhood chaos, and the strange micro-moments that shape who we become. What starts as a debate about the "art of conversation" quickly spirals into stories of awkward haircuts, meeting people while traveling, and why surfing culture seemed cooler than anything the Midwest had to offer. From Costa Rica surf lessons to Chicago nostalgia, the guys compare friend groups, talk about how adults accidentally reinvent small talk, and revisit the eternal question: Beatles or Stones? There are frog stories (or the disappointment of not having enough of them), explosions involving childhood cherry bombs, misunderstood song lyrics, and the birth of a "new genre" of podcasting that no one asked for. It's loose, funny, reflective, and classic Mark-and-Chris chaos—an episode about trying new things, meeting weird people, and remembering why your teen haircut felt like a life-altering decision.

In this episode of Fainting Into Quicksand, Mark and Chris accidentally time-travel to the 1970s and 80s; a lawless era when "community porn" was hidden under trees, "free" phone numbers secretly connected you to New York, and the internet had to scream before it would let you in. They swap horror stories about phone cards, pagers that never paged, and the chaos of early dial-up life. The nostalgia spiral deepens with tales of answering machines that doubled as recording studios, beanbag chairs that qualified as furniture, and board games from the '70s apparently designed to cause minor injuries. A casual mention of tubas somehow becomes a full-blown brass symposium — complete with an ASU euphonium cameo and an impassioned defense of Rush. Things wrap up with a roast of The Shining conspiracy crowd, a pit stop in satanic backmasking panic, and a dramatic reading of one-star national-park reviews ("Too many rocks"). Give it a listen!

Mark and Chris compare Arizona nights in triple-digit heat with white-knuckle Chicago snow drives, then spiral into memories of unreliable '80s cars, Catholic-school uniforms, and the strange theater of car dealerships and timeshare "closers." They riff on the lost art of conversation, WFH awkwardness, tipping tablets, food-truck hassles, and doctor/insurance runarounds (plus pharma ads and phone trees). They touch on AI misinformation, RoboCup wobble-bots, wild camels in Australia (and Arizona burros), and wrap with big-room copier nostalgia and a Wrigley-gum tangent. It's sharp, funny, and very "life in the modern world."  It's another meandering, hilarious trip through music, memory, and mild existential confusion.

In this episode, we go full nostalgia dive—from Monty Python and the "Fish-Slapping Dance" to CB radios, waterbeds, X-Ray Specs, and cigarette vending machines. We swap stories about British versus American TV, failed hovercraft rides, bad National Park reviews, and why the "one mumbo-jumbo rule" explains why some movie fantasies work (and why schlubby guys landing supermodels don't). A hilarious, fast-moving trip through pop culture, tech, and memories that raised us—equal parts absurd, smoky, and surreal.

Mark and Chris tumble through memories of cheap Casio drum machines, comedy songs, and the legendary Doctor Demento before spiraling into a debate about the Bee Gees' falsetto years. Along the way, they uncover the surprising dirtiness of "Jack & Diane" and "Cecilia", laugh about satanic messages hidden in backward rock albums, and swap stories of awkward family road trips and homemade water skis. The conversation veers into cartoons, Peanuts philosophy, UFO encounters, and terrible one-star reviews of national parks. It's part music nerdery, part nostalgia, and part roasting America's greatest landmarks—exactly the kind of chaos you'd expect.