Aging is a Privilege with Dr. Mary Claire Haver

Aging is a privilege — but perimenopause and menopause can still blindside you. Kate Bowler sits down with Dr. Mary Claire Haver, board-certified OB-GYN and bestselling author of The New Menopause and The New Perimenopause, to explain what’s actually happening in the body during perimenopause and menopause, why symptoms like brain fog, frozen shoulder, and anxiety get dismissed or misdiagnosed, and what the evidence really says about hormone replacement therapy after the 2002 Women’s Health Initiative study derailed women’s care for two decades. They also cover practical, low-cost tools for this stage of life — bone density screening, strength training, protein and fiber, cardio guidelines — and why replacing shame with information changes everything. This conversation was recorded on location at the Aspen Ideas Festival: Health.

What if becoming the parent you want to be requires unlearning some of what you were taught? Author and creator Libby Ward joins Kate to talk about breaking generational cycles, people-pleasing, parental burnout, and the complicated work of becoming the parent you didn’t have. Libby shares how motherhood forced her to confront her own limits—and reconsider the impossible standards she’d absorbed about what makes a “good mom.” Together, they talk about boundaries, trusting your own needs, and letting go of the exhausting work of looking like a good parent so you can focus on what actually helps your children feel safe and loved. Show Notes: Watch the conversation on YouTube. Follow Libby on Instagram.  Read Libby’s book, Honest Motherhood.

Loneliness is more than just a feeling—it shapes how we see ourselves and the world around us. It can make us withdraw, hesitate to reach out, or convince us that connection is for other people. But Dr. Vivek Murthy has spent years reminding us of what is most true: we are meant to hold each other up. As U.S. Surgeon General (twice!), Vivek confronted some of the biggest public health challenges of our time—addiction, youth mental health, the opioid crisis. But at the heart of it all was something deeply human: our need for each other. In this conversation, Kate and Vivek talk about what actually makes a life full—not perfect, not endlessly productive, but anchored in love and belonging.  Together, they discuss: • The quiet ache of loneliness and why so many of us feel it • Why relationships, purpose, and service are the real building blocks of a fulfilled life • Small, practical ways to reach out, even when it feels awkward • How asking for help might bring us closer, not pull us apart. This episode originally aired February 2025

Historian and Canadian politician Michael Ignatieff explores the cracks in our seamless worldviews… or at least the worldviews we thought were seamless until we’re faced with tragedies of all kinds. In this wide-ranging exploration, Kate and Michael probe humanity's enduring attempt to console ourselves and construct meaning from our pain. In this conversation, Kate and Michael discuss: Why truth and trust are so important when it comes to finding meaning in our pain The difference between comfort and consolation  The limits of stoicism and hyper-futurism  What it means to be hopeful The importance of community through pain and suffering Michael does not denigrate anyone’s attempt for comfort, but asks us to look carefully at the consolation that lasts. He asks: What is consolation? And why do we all crave that practice of meaning-making? This episode originally aired March 2023.

How do you live knowing life can just come undone at a moment’s notice? In the span of a few months, Tig Notaro received three life-threatening illnesses, unexpectedly lost her mom, and went through a breakup. Tig is a brilliant comedian whose real life informs her comedy and has a lot to teach us about living honestly in the face of reality.  In this conversation, Kate and Tig discuss:  Tig’s “hands-off” parents and her journey of self-discovery, eventually uncovering her talents in the entertainment industry and making her a respected figure in comedy How Tig Notaro's family of “real characters,” served as an abundant source of comedic inspiration in her life (including the best graveyard story ever) How to live alongside fear of what you know could actually happen?  This episode originally aired June 2023.

Don’t Waste Your Life. Savor Every Moment. Live in the Present.  Culture has a lot of prescriptions for how to live a good life. But what if we don’t know where to start? Writer and researcher Catherine Price started to notice how much time she was spending on her phone and how the habit was sucking joy from her life. Instead, she wanted to learn how to have fun again. What is fun? How do you have it? Can you become a more fun person? Catherine debunks the myths around what it means to have fun—especially when we think we’re too tired, too careworn, or too old—and gives us a little homework to start today.  In this conversation, Kate and Catherine discuss:  How to break up with your phone (and why we turn to our phones in the first place) How to create more opportunities for fun in the midst of regular days and too-full lives The simple practice Catherine uses to bring more joy to her days This episode originally aired November 2023.

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Nicholas Kristof understands how to hope—especially in the face of despair or disappointment. He has spent his life shining a light on global tragedies like the Tiananmen Square massacre or the genocide in Darfur. And yet, despite all the horrors he has born witness to, he maintains a sense of hard-won optimism. “Hope is a muscle,” he says, and one we can all learn to develop.  In this live conversation, Kate and Nicholas discuss:  How to maintain hope in the year ahead Nicholas’ best argument as to why this is the best time to be alive His strategies to seeing pain and courage up close over and over again Why our small actions matter (even when it feels like a drop in the ocean)  If you liked this episode, you’ll love:  Bryan Stevenson on justice in the face of unthinkable odds David Fajgenbaum on how hope pulls us forward Sarah Polley on why we should run toward what scares us  This episode originally aired September 2024.

There are no training manuals for this. Just a child staring up at you with cartoon eyes and an inner monologue that asks: Am I doing this right? Am I ruining them? Kate sits down with Dr. Becky Kennedy—a clinical psychologist and creator of Good Inside—to talk about the heartbreak and hope of parenting. What does it mean to raise (or re-raise) someone with compassion and boundaries, especially when you never learned how? Whether you're parenting toddlers, teens, or the little one inside yourself, this conversation offers grace for anyone trying again. Show Notes: Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy — parenting platform, book, and podcast A Blessing for When You're Not the Parent You Meant to Be katebowler.substack.com — essays, blessings, and community reflections Support Guide: When Your Child is in Pain — for parents supporting kids through emotional struggle Support Guide: Those Who Care for Teens — compassionate care for older children This episode originally aired September 2025.

In this episode, Kate speaks with surgeon, writer, and public health leader Dr. Atul Gawande about the deeply human questions that surface when medicine meets its limits. What does it mean to be a good doctor when a cure isn’t possible? What do people really mean when they say they want “quality of life?” Together, they talk about caregiving, end-of-life decisions, and how the most honest conversations in healthcare begin—not with answers—but with better questions. For anyone living with chronic illness, caring for someone they love, or wondering what it means to live a good life with limits, this conversation won’t offer easy fixes. But it might offer something just as rare: clarity, compassion, and the courage to ask what really matters. This episode originally aired September 2025. Watch the full episode on YouTube: Kate C. Bowler on YouTube Subscribe to Kate’s Substack: katebowler.substack.com Show notes:  The Aspen Ideas Festival Being Mortal by Dr. Atul Gawande The Green House Project Ari Johnson & Muso Health Organizations for further action: World Food Programme, UNICEF, American Red Cross

We don’t usually have repeat guests on this podcast… except we’re making an exception for the wonderful and wise Alan Alda. Alan Alda, of course, is an award-winning actor, writer, director, and podcast host. You probably know and love him as Hawkeye on M*A*S*H or Senator Arnie Vinick on The West Wing. He is endlessly curious on just about every topic—which makes him the perfect person to talk to about empathy, learning across differences (and disagreement), and how we might age into new hobbies and careers.  In this conversation, Alan and Kate discuss:   Tricks for staying curious as we age How to talk to someone you disagree with How Alan hopes to destigmatize Parkinson’s Disease The difference between empathy and compassion and how to practice these important skills This episode originally aired March 2024.