Bird Call Review

Jeremy and Michael review the Mountain Blue Bird and discuss the tiny balls of male planes, New Portland, shit as a collective problem, banality, spray-tan factory work, meth addict Bill Murrey, meet-up sex, fight shlub, and explaination-free detergent.

Jeremy and Michael review the Amazonian Grosbeak and discuss why birds risk death for sex, Mel Gibson, how to #bebest, the one-eyed monster pinstripe, teeny-tiny pink slips, marital blisters, solitary refinement, hard and deep christianity, her emails, back to school gifts, and fake juvenile marriages.

Jeremy and Michael review the Hooded Oriole and discuss forgettable Star Wars sagas, why you never start sex with ducks, how many days god rested, the planned obsolescence of refrigeration, why thick requires shredded, Queer Eye reaching deep inside us, viral spectrum disorder, and some bullshit about being better humans (just skip it).

Jeremy and Michael review the Eastern Bluebird (Mexican) and discuss quitting unexpectedly, masterbating at Panera bread, downline come ups, the Barnes and Noble library, marketing a leveled business, aggressive sanitization, leaving your underwear on, and tying too tightly.

Jeremy and Michael review the Supreme Lyre Bird and discuss half-attention-tasking, domestic cleaning products as gifts, Manscaping, Michelle Kuan intolerance, juice, photographing dudes pissing, AI apologies, the original chicken sandwich (it’s toasted).

Jeremy and Michael review the Partridge and discuss when the twelfth day of Christmas is, bold-faced lies, bar-maid robots and powerful gloves, Jeremy’s old man stories about his stomping grounds being replaced by a Starbucks, Beyonce’s quick takes, friends-for-hire and emotion stuffing, adult babies, who the tooth fairy is and other horned animals, shipping the bed, towel thieving, unstuck maneuvers, and tucking back up through the waistband.

Jeremy and Michael review Pyrrhuloxia and discuss eating on mic, crossing and dropping lines, Terantinoesque puke angels, Wilhelm love triangles, hot cousin shame, wet-dreams and teeth, homoerotic Zippos tricks, “dog, rubber dildo, black”, “turn down” and “turnt out”, mongoloid horse jerky, snoring, and narcoleptic driving.

Jeremy and Michael review the Curl-crested Manucode and discuss summer, “spaz-attacks”, razorblades in sandboxes, mail-order hepatitis, a field-game tax clause, deep sea deep-thoughts, the unsustainability of meat on twitter, naming children, Grease Italy, how we keep up to date on cross-fit, the unmistakeable sent of 323 dead Norwegian reindeers, sex sales, and butt-sweat.

Jeremy and Michael review Nate and discuss sleep interruptions, holiday deaths, un-concerned 911 operators, cosmetic flotation surgery, the big bottoms of Bogota, flappy lids, rising to the oboe, the untold story of Uber—a New Jersey success story, shotgun selfies, “famous”, how stupid we look in the future, and old-fashioned Nintendo shaming.

Jeremy and Michael review the Common Potoo and discuss review systems, aggressive arborists, unflappable florists, dating in a full-size van, low-brow ninjas, the slow decline to Bill O’Reilly, phone bodies, ticket or “worth it”, bear boundaries, diaper money, “WHAT?!?”, prom produce, graduation advice, and greeting card misattribution.