BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko

Attachment styles, nervous system regulation, shadow work, journaling, manifesting, boundaries, glow ups. At what point does self-improvement stop being self-love and start becoming evidence that you don’t actually like yourself? In this episode, Margarita turns the lens on the self-help world she’s part of and breaks down, with research to back it up, why the obsession with fixing yourself can keep you stuck. She explains the self-discrepancy trap, how perfectionism and comparison erode your self-worth, and why endlessly learning about boundaries is an illusion of progress. ChaptersThe Self-Discrepancy TrapPerfectionismExperiential AvoidanceThe Illusion of ProgressWhen Self-Improvement Becomes ProcrastinationSocial ComparisonHedonic AdaptationThe Self-Criticism SpiralWhen Healing Becomes Your IdentityYour 2027 Goal: Psychological FlexibilityIf you have been in healing mode for years but nothing has actually changed, if you know all the theory but cannot seem to do the thing, or if you are preparing to live your life instead of just living it, this one is for you.Join Selfish 30 in December, the last round before a break until later in 2027Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with MargaritaUnbothered by Margarita NazarenkoTo learn more about Margarita Nazarenko, visit https://www.margaritanazarenko.comBeing Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge, now running again in DecemberIn this episode she answers your real questions on narcissists, porn, situationships, why he married someone else after 7 years, how to get your husband into conquering mode again, what to do when a man says he is unsure, and why after 13 years there is still no proposal. Plus updates on Selfish 30 and why December is your month to lock in. Chosen, Margarita’s best marriage tipsDetach - 3 Day IntensiveWrite to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with MargaritaBeing Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge starting November 1stWelcome back to Being Her, where we are officially entering our selfish era. After years of talking about how to get over an ex, move from anxious to secure attachment, and create the life you want, Margarita has realised the answer to all of it is the same: become a little bit more selfish. Not selfish as in taking from others, but deliciously selfish, putting yourself at the centre of your own life and owning it. In this episode, Margarita explains why “decentring men” keeps you thinking about men, why being the good girl hasn’t made you happier or more valued, and how guilt conditioning keeps women convenient instead of unforgettable. She gets candid about her own people-pleasing, finally buying herself caviar, and the difference between being needed and being valued. She also reveals Selfish 30, her brand new 30-day challenge to help you stop delegating your life to others and actually start doing the behaviours of a woman who puts herself first.In this episode:1. How is being a good girl actually working out for you2. Your life is a result of what you repeatedly prioritise3. Stop volunteering for self sacrifice nobody is giving you a medal4. Why being selfish feels so uncomfortable5. Nobody is coming to hand you the life you want6. Selfish women ask for what they want because they know what they want7. Become less available to everyone else to become more available to yourself8. Stop confusing being needed with being valued9. You cannot think your way into becoming a different woman you have to do the behaviours10. Selfish 30, 30 days to become the woman you actually want to beIf you are ready to stop thinking about it and actually do something, this is your sign.Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with MargaritaBeing Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week’s episode comes straight from the DMs: “Can you please make a video about your partner sleeping soundly while you are crying next to him?” It’s a message Margarita gets often, and one she lived herself in her twenties. The internet’s answer is usually just “leave him,” but Margarita argues that skips the most important part: understanding what is actually happening. In this episode, she breaks down the pursue-withdraw dynamic, why men and women experience conflict so differently, and how anxious and avoidant partners are both trying to feel safe in opposite ways. She gets candid about emotional sovereignty, rumination, and handing your emotional weather to someone else. She also explains how to tell a healthy break from stonewalling, emotional overwhelm from emotional punishment, and the one simple test that shows whether it really is time to leave him.In this episode: 1. Three separate reasons this could be happening and they are all different 2. The pursue withdraw dynamic and why it is so painful 3. Anxious versus avoidant attachment and why these two always find each other 4. Sleep does not prove emotional indifference 5. Why women ruminate and men shut down during conflict 6. Emotional invalidation versus nervous system overload 7. Stonewalling versus taking a healthy break 8. Why women carry the emotional labour of the whole relationship 9. Contempt and emotional punishment disguised as withdrawal 10. What the next day actually tells you about everythingWrite to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with MargaritaMentioned in this episode:Unbothered by Margarita NazarenkoBeing Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode mentioned: The Bossticks with Margarita NazarenkoPeep the comments on the IG Reel that sparked this conversation Books mentioned:Unbothered by Margarita NazarenkoThe New Rules by Margarita NazarenkoTo learn more about Margarita Nazarenko, visit https://www.margaritanazarenko.comWelcome back to Being Her, where today it’s getting juicy, spicy and real life. Margarita is launching her new Substack, Unfiltered with Margarita, and using a viral moment from her recent appearance on The Bossticks to unpack why so many women feel burnt out, frazzled and in constant conflict with the people they love. When a clip about her husband forgetting the diapers in Las Vegas blew up online, the comment section revealed something bigger: women are carrying loads that were never theirs to carry. In this episode, Margarita breaks down the psychology of over-functioning, the difference between caring and controlling, and why stepping back and letting natural consequences play out can transform your relationships. She gets candid about her own over-functioning roots as the child of an immigrant, the mental load, catastrophizing, and why being unbothered means knowing exactly what deserves your energy. As always, 10 takeaways and 10 actionable steps.In this episode:1. Stop turning inconveniences into emergencies2. You are not an emergency service for every adult in your life3. The psychology of over functioning in a family system4. Stop confusing caring with controlling5. Consequences are often the best teacher, stop removing them6. Your nervous system does not know you are arguing about small things7. Stop treating every mistake as evidence of something bigger8. Women are exhausted from monitoring everything9. You cannot complain about carrying everything while refusing to put it down10. Being unbothered means knowing what actually deserves your energyIf you do everything and nobody notices, if you correct how everyone else does things because your way is right, or if you are exhausted but cannot actually let go, this one is going to hit home.Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with MargaritaSubscribe to receive my emails Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join me in The Final Round of Unbothered WomanReceive emails from meYou already know what you need to do. You are just scared of what it is going to cost you.Margarita is back from her book tour in America, freshly moved into a half renovated house with two small children, and she has things to say.In this episode she shares the 10 mindset shifts that came up for her on the trip, the permissions she had to stop waiting for, and why the life you want is already inside you and has been the whole time.In this episode:1. You are probably not confused you are just scared of the consequences2. Stop collecting advice you already have the answer3. Distance tells you things proximity cannot4. Your next life requires disappointing someone from your current one5. Stop waiting to feel ready confidence only comes after evidence6. When you transform the old identity will fight back hard7. Stop making permanent decisions based on temporary emotions8. Your life changes when you stop negotiating with what you know9. There is no future version of you coming to save you10. Give yourself until the end of the year to prove you can do hard thingsIf you know what you need to do but cannot bring yourself to do it, if you keep asking everyone else what you should do with your life, or if you are waiting to feel ready before you start, this one is for you.This is your sign. Lock in.Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join me for the Final round of The Unbothered Woman Ever - We start October 2nd. She was a fashion editor at GQ and Allure. She built a fashion line that dressed every A list celebrity. Then covid shut it all down.And at 52 years old she started over. And built the biggest success of her entire career.In this episode Margarita sits down with Mary Alice Haney in Hollywood and has the conversation every woman in her thirties, forties and fifties needs to hear. About reinvention. About the why not me mentality. About what it actually costs to build something.We talk about how Mary went from fashion editor to founder to podcaster, why confidence is not something you wait for it is something you fake until it becomes real, what nobody tells you about balancing motherhood and ambition, why your biggest success might still be ahead of you, and why your age and your children are not the excuses you think they are.If you have ever thought you are too old, too busy, too far behind, or that the window has closed, this episode will change your mind.Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.Love you lots like jelly tots xx See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Check out Hinge Get my Book: Unbothered The Art of Letting Go to Find YourselfJoin the Unbothered WomanWatch Detach My 3 Day IntensiveIf there is one episode you listen to this year on anxious attachment, fear of abandonment, and why you can never fully relax in a relationship, let it be this one.Your gut is not a wise little oracle. It is a nervous system shaped by everything that has ever happened to you. And if most of your experiences with love have involved pain, your gut has been calibrated to a setting that does not serve you when you are finally safe.In this episode Margarita breaks down the real difference between anxiety and intuition, why trusting your gut is damaging advice for anxiously attached women, and what to do in the moment when you genuinely cannot tell which one is speaking.In this episode:Why anxiety and intuition feel exactly the same from the insideWhy trusting your gut is dangerous advice for anxious womenHow your nervous system scans for danger even when you are safeWhy reassurance is a leaky bucket that will never fillThe three question framework to tell anxiety from intuitionWhat real intuition actually feels like vs anxious spiralingWhat hyper independent women do when they finally feel something realHow to regulate before you react and ruin something goodWhen to stay and when the signal is actually realWhat changes when you finally learn to tell the differenceIf you can never fully relax no matter how much he shows up, if you need certainty just to feel okay, or if you are exhausted by your own spiral and just want it to stop, this one is for you.Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

View The Feminine Energy Collection HereJoin The Unbothered Woman HereIf you have been trying to step into your feminine energy but everything you have followed so far has felt like a performance, doing all the right things, not texting first, being soft, letting him lead, and still feeling the same anxiety underneath because nothing you were taught actually changed how you feel on the inside, this episode is for you.In this episode I break down why the mainstream version of feminine energy is keeping you stuck in a cycle of performing for an outcome instead of actually embodying who you are, the real definition of feminine energy that no one is talking about, and the specific practices that shift you from managing every outcome to being so anchored in yourself that you never lose her again.→ FREE: The Unbothered Reset: 30 Days to Become Her.Every day for 30 days, you’ll receive a short email. Start the 30-Day Reset→ Unbothered: The art of letting go → The New Rules BookBeing Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get your copy of Unbothered, now available in the USJoin the waitlist for Unbothered Woman Watch DetachCheck out HingeYou are not going to like this one. And if it makes you angry, that is probably a sign you need to hear it.In this episode Margarita breaks down five things women do completely unintentionally, usually with the best intentions, that quietly push men away. Not the obvious stuff every relationship coach has already told you. The things nobody is saying.In this episode:1. Narrating every internal state the second you feel it2. Mothering him and collapsing the polarity without realising it3. Making yourself too agreeable, too easy, too cool girl4. Manufacturing jealousy instead of actually building a full life5. Needing his validation vs valuing his opinionWhether you are in the talking stage, a long term relationship that has lost its spark, or a marriage that feels more like flatmates,one of these five is going to hit home.This is not about blame. It is about understanding why the dynamic shifts without either of you realising, until he pulls back and you have absolutely no idea what happened.Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.Love you lots like jelly tots xxSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.