Am I Broken: Survivor Stories

Claire (she/her) uses a pseudonym to share her story about being groomed and sexually coerced and manipulated by world-renowned author Neil Gaiman. We discuss the power of stories and fame, and she shares how journaling, therapy, and friendships have helped her find her center in her own story. We originally spoke in 2022, and at that time she decided she wasn't ready, but said that if other survivors came forward, she would join them. Several weeks ago two women came forward and shared abuse stories about Neil Gaiman. Claire reached out to me to support herself and them and all survivors by sharing her story today.Support the podcast at patreon.com/papillondeboer

Lindsey (she/her) tells her story about being groomed, taken advantage of, and sexually violated by a leader in Canada's psychedelic healing world. Learn how she finally recognized the abuse, and found her way to healing and resolution. In this episode, she asked to use a pseudonym and to have her voice masked, as she says this prominent facilitator is currently pursuing legal action against those who speak out about his abuses. Support the podcast at patreon.com/papillondeboer 

Kat (she/her) shares her story of sexual violation during 4 days of a psychedelic therapy session with a well-known clinician. We discuss the healing she was seeking in the first place, the compounding of trauma, and what she both gained and lost from this experience. She requested to use a pseudonym and to have her voice masked to protect her from retaliation by this licensed psychedelic therapist and his organization.Support the podcast at patreon.com/papillondeboer

Hannah (she/her) shares her stories of childhood sexual abuse from several local church leaders in her small town, including her grandfather. We talk about purity culture, keeping secrets, and self-harm. She describes the difficulties of her healing journey, as well as what has helped along the way, including art.Support the podcast at patreon.com/papillondeboer for $5/month.

Pat (they/them) shares a story long held secret, about their employer and colleague who offered to be their tantric teacher, then lied and manipulated and abused them. Hear how they healed from the trauma of not just that relationship, but also the ejection from that community, and what took them deeper into their own family history and catharsis.Support the podcast with $5/month at www.patreon.com/papillondeboer and gain access to some particularly interesting behind the scenes out takes from this episode, and others.

Gabi (she/they) calls out two local perpetrators - a friend and community leader who sexually assaulted her during a massage, and the CEO of a solar power company who sexually harassed and assaulted her. We talk about failed community justice processes, and how telling her story and naming the offenders has given Gabi an increased sense of strength and power.Support the podcast at www.patreon.com/papillondeboer

Elle (she/her) shares her story of a sudden betrayal by her eating disorder therapist, a sexualized violation during their last meeting. She describes the conflict within herself as she receives various feedback from family and friends, and then learning that her other therapist is filing a report against the perpetrator. After a return of previous trauma response behavior, Elle finds her way along her own healing path.Support the podcast for $5/month at www.patreon.com/papillondeboer

Tom (he/him) shares his story of how childhood sexual abuse primed him to be sexually abused by his high school counselor, believing for years that they had a good relationship. He describes how this also set him up to be similarly enthralled by a professor and supervisor at his graduate school who also violated professional boundaries as well as his trust and vulnerability. We discuss the messiness of our own truth and feelings emerging about sexual abuse by someone we loved and trusted. Tom is a pseudonym, and he chose to have his voice masked for additional confidentiality.Please support the podcast for $5/month at www.patreon.com/papillondeboerOr ask questions or share feedback at [email protected]

Lee Anne (she/her) shares her story of being assaulted on a date with a firefighter. Being polyamorous was one more reason she was reluctant to file a police report. She describes her healing journey, which included support from her husband, and finding new boundaries for dating again, when she was ready. As a medical practitioner, Lee Anne also shares how her own trauma helped her refine her approach with clients.Support the podcast for $5/month at patreon.com/papillondeboer

Deborah, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Clinical Addictions Specialist, shares her story of coming to terms with several sexual assaults as well as returning memories of childhood sexual abuse. She details her struggles with not only addiction, but disordered eating, and her success with sobriety, AA, and intuitive eating.Support the podcast for $5/month at:www.patreon.com/papillondeboer