Ep. 133 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Bert Kreischer & Chris Distefano

SPONSORS: Tune-in to the NASCAR Cup Series race on Sunday, April 21st at 3:00 PM Eastern on FOX https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Visit http://Kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS at check out for 25% off your entire order. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Go to http://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert and Tom are back together to chat about whatever is going on in their heads. They talk about self-loathing, finding your "thing", Topdog, the illusion of immortality, having family goals, thirsting over pictures of young Charo, plus Bert and Tom endorse Vin Diesel for President of the United States of America. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 232 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Go to http://Kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS for a limited time to save 25% off your entire order. Brought to you by BetterHelp, visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Visit http://lucy.co/BEARS and use promo code BEARS to get 20% off your first order. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to https://Babbel.com/BEARS to get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription for a limited time. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert and Tom team up with Kevin Clancy and John Feitelberg hosts of KFC Radio on Barstool Sports! The cave is a bit crowded, but the guys make it work as they talk about meeting Joe Rogan for the first time and how to approach people that are super famous like Michael Jordan or Big Papi. Speaking of MJ, Bert is apparently the Michael Jordan of introducing people! Other topics covered include, Barstool Sports livestreams, Nancy Reagan, Big Cat, buddy podcasts, Tiny Desk concerts but with comedy, plus Bert has a fun reality show idea, and Kevin Clancy has a small story to tell. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 231 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Go to http://Kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. Visit https://Liquidiv.com and use code CAVE at checkout. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code BEARS for $20 off your first purchase. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to https://Netsuite.com/BEARS to get a one-of-a-kind flexible financing program now through April 15th. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by Dave Attell for an old-school comedy hangout. Dave has a new special out on Netflix called Hot Cross Buns and he's also here to play catch-up. Tom and Bert chat with him about comedy milestones, new material, overseas touring, Bert's fear of flying, crowd work, stage time, and big venues vs small venues. They also talk about all the comics from their respective generations and beyond including, Zach Galifianakis, Louis CK, Greg Giraldo, Shane Gillis, Brody Stevens, Doug Stanhope, plus the business acumen of Taylor Swift. Take a seat and smoke 'em if you go 'em! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 230 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you register for the 2Bears 5K at www.2bears5k.com, you can also get tickets to the bears’ comedy shows at the Forum on May 9th and May 11th for $25 each. Tickets are available at bertbertbert.com and tomsegura.com. If you bought tickets to either Forum show BEFORE 3/25, get 10% off your registration with your Ticketmaster confirmation code. SPONSORS: Visit http://Kettleandfire.com/BEARS and for a limited time use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. Head to http://policygenius.com/BEARS to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Visit https://NetSuite.com/bears now through April fifteenth, NetSuite is offering a one-of-a-kind flexible financing program. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave it's March Madness and Tom has a very special tournament bracket for Bert! Without giving it away it involves some man-love and some male celebrities. Tom also shares a story about running into Matt Damon in a men's restroom that ended with him going to his birthday dinner and Bert tells a story about some of the most memorable experiences he's had at live music concerts. Bert and Tom also discuss a solid birthday gift idea and dive into some performances courtesy of the Tiny Desk Concert series, before closing out with an AI art surprise. Bust some brackets ya'll! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 229 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - Visit https://kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com -Go to https://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert and Tom are celebrating Women's History Month by listing off history's greatest women of all time. They're also making lists of history's most evil women too! From serial killers to dictators and pilots to queens, the bears are diving into all the great women who left their mark upon the world. The Bears also discuss the insane ways MMA fighters are built, couple code words, Bert's bloodwork, fat girl energy, eavesdropping, the American Nightmare documentary, and the TV series Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans. Happy Women's History month to all who observe! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 228 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Visit https://kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. Brought to you by BetterHelp, visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Go to https://LIQUID-IV.com and use code: CAVE for 20% off your first order. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to https://Babbel.com/BEARS to get 50% off a ONE-TIME PAYMENT FOR A LIFETIME Babbel subscription. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom and Bert open the show talking about inflammatory podcast tactics involving Shannon Sharpe and Mike Epps, before moving into the classic comedy art form of men in drag. They then reveal a special video shoutout they ordered to celebrate Joe Rogan's recent success, a gift that has lingering effects on the bear's gag reflexes. Did you know Joe Rogan killed a mountain lion with a belt? Other topics discussed this week include home run podcast guests, Rory Scovel's art, Tom and Bert's recent weight loss journey, Nate Diaz, Marvin Jones, getting into fights, and Bert tells the "whitest story ever". Check it out! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 227 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Tune-in to the NASCAR Cup Series race on Sunday, March 10th at 3:30 PM Eastern on FOX. Check the schedule here: https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Head to https://Shopify.com/BEARS to sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to http://policygenius.com/BEARS to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, someone's getting an award for a very wholesome reason, plus on the topic of awards, the bears talk about actors who have gone full...you know, and played characters of diminished capacities. Bert even tears up a bit checking out a clip of John Malkovich from Of Mice And Men. The bears also talk about Leonardo DiCaprio in Gilbert Grape, Sean Penn in I Am Sam, French cinema, Billionaires doing depraved things for charity, Marlee Matlin, best TV shows about Florida, Linda Cardellini, and pleasuring horses! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 226 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: -Get 10% off your order at https://thefreezepipe.com with promo code BEARS -Visit http://Lucy.co/BEARS and use promo code (BEARS) to get 20% off your first order. -This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/bears today to get 10% off your first month. -Get 50% off your order at https://factormeals.com/BEARS50 with promo code BEARS50 Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert's back in the Cave this week and he and Tom discuss aging and lower members. Specifically which nationality ages the best and which nation has the smallest average peener size. Two completely different debates for two completely intriguing topics. Speaking of words you can't say without getting flagged online, Bert and Tom also talk about how confusing the content policies are for social media sites and how sometimes it's difficult to tell what's appropriate and what's not. It's not all fun and games this week as Tom and Bert also get a little sentimental and talk about feeling shame for the first time, the heavy weight of people pleasing all the time, and being cynical about people finding fulfillment in silly things. Other things covered in this episode include, ladyboys, Bert's favorite Austrian painter, Queen Elizabeth, the origin of drinking ages, and Shannon Doherty. Tune in and learn something! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 225 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. Head to https://Manscaped.com and use code: BEARS to get 20% plus free shipping. Tune in to the NASCAR Cup Series race on Sunday, February 25th at 3:00 PM ET on FOX! Check out the schedule here: https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Go to http://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. Bert's locked up so this week comedian Duncan Trussell joins Tom Segura on 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Duncan knows a thing or two about doing time and he shares these surprisingly fun experiences with Tom. This leads to Duncan and Tom discussing the ethics and dietary concerns when it comes to eating your friends and neighbors. But Humans aren't only a food source they're also a source of labor and comedy, two things that are at risk of being replicated by robots and AI, a discourse that Duncan has plenty of thoughts on. Other topics brought up include deviant monks, rituals, genital fillers, glass eyes, Japan, NPC's, the James Webb Telescope, sociopaths , war hero grandpas, goofballs, secret handshakes, and much more! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 224 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Go to https://LIQUID-IV.com and use code: CAVE to get 20% off your first order. Head to https://Babbel.com/BEARS to get a limited time deal of 50% off a one-time payment for a lifetime subscription. Catch the Great American Race on Sunday, February 18th at 2:30 PM Eastern on FOX! Check out the full schedule here: https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Brought to you by https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS , visit today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert do some global taste testing and try out some different snacks from around the world! Some of them prove to be quite tasty while others require a trashcan standing by. Also keeping with that theme, the bears talk about the massive Indian population, the foreign policy of Pakistan, Russian chess masters, White Jamaicans, Bert's Travel Channel show, Japanese snowball fights, and the unique ways people say "LOL" in other languages. Try it out! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 223 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices