Why We Only Learn When We Repeat

Though we live in supposedly enlightened times, many of us are still burdened with intense feelings of shame around our own sexuality and desires. Overcoming this requires us to face up to the scale of the problem - and find ways of discussing our innermost feelings more nakedly.Uploaded 14-04-21Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/QTj4jBe more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/4sm7SFURTHER READINGYou can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3gb2Sc6“We have collectively grown highly attuned to the problems associated with a lack of shame around sex: with a decadent culture in which it seems that everything goes, where the atmosphere is often overly explicit and where some people get badly hurt by the unwanted and aggressive attentions of others.It could seem – therefore – a little odd, even indulgent, to bring up the problem of sexual shame, that is, to discuss the intense mental suffering generated by embarrassment about our desires and bodies, by a feeling of not being physically acceptable and by a self-disgust and terror at the idea of our sexual thoughts being found out and judged. These can seem like issues that no one could sincerely have worried about since the waning of the age of top hats or at least the revolutions of the 1960s. The dangers around sex appear to lie squarely at the other, shame-less end of the spectrum…”MORE SCHOOL OF LIFEWatch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationshipsSOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSProduced in collaboration with:Josh Saundershttps://joshphilipsaunders.co.uk/ Title animation produced in collaboration withVale Productionshttps://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Those of us with a tendency to blush usually see it as a source of embarrassment. Yet blushing is a rather delightful habit: one that confirms our deep emotional sensitivity. Uploaded 16-06-21Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/7EC8mBe more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/7HfjXFURTHER READINGYou can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3woErND"For anyone with a tendency to blush, the idea that there might be something positive about going uncontrollably red in front of others can sound absurd. But however uncomfortable it may be to blush, doing so indicates a range of admirable character traits we should honour in ourselves and welcome in others. Far from a disability, blushing is a sign of virtue…"MORE SCHOOL OF LIFEWatch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLselfSOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSProduced in collaboration with:Amanda Eliassonhttp://artofam.se/ Title animation produced in collaboration withVale Productionshttps://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In moments of despair, we may be suffering not from a failure of spirit, but a failure of imagination. The way out lies in exercising our creative capacities.Uploaded 18-11-20Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/cfnniBe more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/w8uJRFURTHER READINGYou can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/2IvSflV“It may sound strange to locate the problem here, but some of our most despairing moods are caused by failures of the imagination. We are not merely ‘sad’; we cannot picture any better life than the agonised one we currently have. What we really mean by imagination is the power to summon up alternatives. When we are sad, we can’t imagine finding another job; we can’t imagine retraining or shifting profession. We can’t imagine not minding what the gossip says about us. We can’t imagine finding another partner and letting ourselves trust someone again. We can’t imagine getting by in a wheelchair. We can’t imagine living on a very modest budget or relocating to another country. We can’t imagine having to make a completely new set of friends…”MORE SCHOOL OF LIFEWatch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLselfSOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSProduced in collaboration with:Gabriella Marshhttps://gabriellamarsh.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration withVale Productionshttps://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We regularly get into difficulties in love because we refuse to accept how much reassurance and stroking we need from the person we love. We imagine we’re grown up, we don’t want to countenance how fragile and easily wounded we might be, we don’t want to see the always susceptible and sensitive child beneath the impressive adult… Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/Zk7W_ Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/Ko8nb FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://9qq0.short.gy/BFuR8G “We regularly get into difficulties in love because we refuse to accept how much reassurance and stroking we need from the person we love. We imagine we’re grown up, we don’t want to countenance how fragile and easily wounded we might be, we don’t want to see the always susceptible and sensitive child beneath the impressive adult. And so, in the face of ‘small things’ that have undeniably hurt us (a missing warm comment here, a lack of touch there), we go numb instead, we silently and swiftly pull up the drawbridge, we unconsciously prepare to recriminate, we tell ourselves that we have a lot of work to do and should spend more time by ourselves. The last thing we can acknowledge is that we might be sad, confused and secretly furious…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-business/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Mike Booth https://www.youtube.com/user/somegreybloke Title animation produced in collaboration with Graeme Probert www.gpmotion.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual rejection can spark off intensely powerful and destructive emotions. We should learn to tame them before they get out of control. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/dGhvp Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/WWlDK FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other topics here: https://goo.gl/pysRws MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Zedem Media http://www.zedemanimations.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pitying yourself has terrible connotations, but it belongs to what it means to be a friend to oneself. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/9xffl Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/7DQuX FURTHER READING “It was a sunny Sunday afternoon; you were nine years old. Your parents wouldn’t let you have any ice cream if you didn’t do your maths homework. It was achingly unfair. Every other child in the world was playing football or watching television. No one else has such a mean mother. It was just awful. We learned self-pity when we were young. We’re all – in theory – dead against it. Self-pity is deeply unattractive because it reveals egoism in its most basic form, a failure to put our own suffering into proper perspective against the larger backdrop of human history. It shows how easily our own stubbed toe might matter more than a million dead in a far-off land….” You can read more on this and other topics here: http://bit.ly/2cHj8PI MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/290imOt SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Gemma Green Hope http://www.gemmagreenhope.com/ https://vimeo.com/gemmagreenhope https://twitter.com/gemmagreenhope #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Andy Warhol was one of the great artists of the 20th century who understood the legitimate role that glamour and business should play in the production of art. He has much to teach the modern world. Uploaded 16-10-15Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/5XPmwBe more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/G95D7SOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSBrought to you by http://theschooloflife.comProduced in collaboration with Mad Adamhttp://madadamfilms.co.uk #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all are, at times, the victims of one of the cruellest and most remorseless of all mental afflictions: obsessive thinking. But why? FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://9qq0.short.gy/m0b8dK “For some of us, today like every day, will mean another case of immersing ourselves, from the moment we wake up, in a by-now very familiar set of painful thoughts. We will dwell – once again – on how awful we look and more particularly, on how our nose is repulsively proportioned relative to the rest of our face. We will think – once again – of a website we inadvertently visited twelve years ago and how the police might be preparing to close in on, and arrest, us. We will think – once again – of how several of our neighbours (especially the people upstairs) might be colluding to ruin and disgrace us. Or we will think – once again – of something we said to a colleague which we fear they misconstrued and which may well lead them to seek disciplinary action against us at any moment…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-business/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Natalia Biegaj https://nb-animation.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Graeme Probert www.gpmotion.co.uk ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To be considered ‘well-read’, one is expected to get through an endless number of books. Instead, like the Ancients, we should focus on the quality not the quantity of one’s reading.Uploaded 11-11-20Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/Zy4CW Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/HjE4DFURTHER READINGYou can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/35fcAUV“The modern world firmly equates the intelligent person with the well-read person. Reading books, a lot of books, is the hallmark of brilliance as well as the supreme gateway to prestige and understanding. It’s hard to imagine anyone arriving at any insights of value without having worked their way through an enormous number of titles over the years. There is apparently no limit to how much we should read. We might – logically and ideally – be reading all the time and get ever cleverer with every moment we do so. The number of books we have managed to read by the day we die will tell us pretty much all we need to know about the complexity and maturity of our minds. This so-called maximalist philosophy of reading enjoys enormous cultural prestige. It is backed up by enormous publishing and journalistic industries that constantly parade new titles before us – and imply that we might be swiftly left behind and condemned to a narrow and provincial mindset if we did not rush to read four of this year’s major prize winning books as well as seven fascinating titles that have received ardent reviews in the Sunday supplements since March. As a result, our shelves are overburdened and our guilt at how far behind we are intense…”MORE SCHOOL OF LIFEWatch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLselfSOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSProduced in collaboration with:Deanca Rensyta Mihardjahttps://www.behance.net/deancarensa5a9 Title animation produced in collaboration withVale Productionshttps://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/ Get weekly insights for better relationships, deeper self-knowledge, and inner calm straight to your inbox: https://www.theschooloflife.com/signup/ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices