The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour

As the great philosopher and bon viveur Titus Crow once mused, that which frit the boy will feart the man. And how better to stress and dissect this dictum than observe it in practice? Yes, as a follow-up to the playful hauntings of Hallowe’en, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour despatched hand-scrawled invitations across the city to their most trusted of collaborators; a disquiet cabal to be held in the depths of MountPeg Towers, memories to be exhumed, terrors to be re-lived... Doctor Velvet and Blackout are joined around the table by Simon and Ken from the ExtonMoss Experiment, by Professor Lionel Ziggy Zucho, and of course no gathering would be complete without the magnificent Ozzy Bognops. Together they pick through the ossified remnants of Spitting Image, The Fly, Panorama, The Rocking Horse Winner, La Cabina and Rolf Harris, and the mailbag bulges with more horrors, still. One thing’s for sure, more spirits will be raised here than laid to rest... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

While other podcasts are celebrating the changing of the clocks with fleecy onesies and pumpkin spice lattes, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour likes to draw further terror from the most breathlessly claustrophobic of televisual scenarios for their annual Halloween Special. If the stiffness of their drinks doesn't serve as a psychological buffer, it can always be used as disinfectant... Yes, Messrs Velvet and Blackout are donning their sitcom hazmat suits and paying a visit to Shepherd's Bush, where Steptoe and Son are pondering the end of their ragtag, torturous existence and investigating what could possibly come next. Guidance for Albert and Harold comes in the form of a familiar face, and soon one of them is trying to kick the bucket (HYACINTH BUCKET, THAT IS ANOTHER SITCOM JOKE BECAUSE OF WHO IS IN THIS, DO YOU SEE?) Was the tenebrous ambience of 1970s set design an aesthetic response to an era of power cuts? Is it even possible to hold a seance in a house where there should already be a sneaking realisation that you yourself might actually be dead and in hell? And what have Megadeth done to annoy Blackout? Hit the Play button and the answers will drift ethereally from beyond... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

It's New Year's Eve at Mountpeg Towers, with messrs Velvet, Blackout and Bognops huddled round the Peggy Mount Calamity Hour drinks trolley making vague plans for the future whilst ruminating (as usual) on the past and scrawling optimistic lists of unrealistic resolutions. "Let's never do this again" warbled Mr Hussey famously, and he wasn't even reacting to being a guest on tonight's cavalcade of unleashed Showbusiness®... Yes it's off to BBC Television Centre we lurch, bottles in hand, to witness an iconic British entertainer with decades of experience being given his very own Prime Time Variety™ show in one of the year's most prestigious broadcast slots. A triumphant moment such as this should of course be seared into the cultural memory of a nation, which is why - we're sure - that after Big Ben has chimed to countless toasts, conversation across the land quickly turns to the very first 1982 pilot-instalment of The Keith Harris Show. Is it cheaper if one of the acts is married to the presenter? Is it cheaper if two of the acts are operated by the presenter? Look, there was clearly some sort of production budget here and it didn't make it to the stage, where did that money go..? Catch the Play button as you're falling off that diving board, and find out... (If you'd like to join in the New Year countdown with The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour, start this episode on Dec 31st at 23:03:40) The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

Ho-ho-holy snowballs, is it that time already? Yes, with the cheese and scotch advent calendars already suspiciously demolished, it's open house and time for the Peggy Mount Calamity Hour Christmas Special! Crackers will be pulled, bottles will be emptied, and two entertainment gems from the past will be lovingly dissected... Professor Lionel Ziggy Zucho pops round for the first grinding of the festive conveyor belt with 1984's The Box Of Delights, which evoked days long gone even upon its first broadcast. Then that sepia glow is retained for a visit from Ozzy Bognops and a huddle round the radiogram for The Festive Jottings Of Hinge and Bracket, bringing with them as they do a VERY special guest star. Will young Kay Harker ever be magicked to a land where working-class people exist? Will footage ever be recovered of Patrick Moore and Deryck Guyler percussioning in the middle of an ice rink in a provincial leisure centre? And will Turkish Delight Vodka curdle the buttered-eggs? Sift through that discarded wrapping paper for the hastily-ignored instruction leaflet on how to press the Play button, and find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

Ah, the sound of hooves clopping across the rooftops and a smell of pumpkins and absinthe left out for Father Samhain can mean only one thing: it is truly the most woe-nderful time of the year! The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour’s Halloween Special reaches once more into the casket for only the finest knitwear, slacks and bejewelled shawls, because here we dress for dinner... Our hosts begin by venturing - as is so oft the case – off down the old pub, where a Voice From The Gallows ensures the spirits they find aren’t just restricted to Harry Hewart’s decanter collection. Following these rather alarming events, a check-in at a luxury country spa retreat is called for, with the charming if rather eccentric regulars keeping the gin cooled down at The Ice House. How many eggs does someone have to smash before you realise that RightMove summary may not have been entirely transparent about the history of this house? How many phallic symbols have to be smeared on your bedroom window before you realise that TripAdvisor review may not have been entirely representative of this hotel? And how many times to we have to petition LWT for a Diamond Lady spin-off sitcom? Gently press the Play button with a croquet mallet and/or mell hammer, and find out… The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

There was much excitement earlier this week as the Antiques Roadshow film crew pulled into the grounds of Birtley Priory to be met by Pod Producer Ken eagerly clutching a battered C90 cassette, complete with an illegibly scrawled label and browned sellotape over the record-tab. The raw enthusiasm of Fiona Bruce, hoping this could be a secretly recorded rehearsal session of The Beatles, quickly turned to despondent anger when the assembled crowd was treated to a priceless raw cut of one of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour’s Lost Episodes™… Yes, unearthed from the archives (Pod Producer Ken found it wedged down the back of the toilet), and meticulously digitally restored (he’s edited out the clunks of him hitting the Record and Stop buttons), this hitherto-unheard conversation charts the time some years back that the boys from The ExtonMoss Experiment dropped round for a gin, a chinwag and a deep-dive into the Dungeons and Dragons and Mr and Mrs. What are the odds of six separate roleplaying characters ALL rolling a Ø for personality? What are the chances of Derek Batey shelling that prize money out of what is clearly going to be his own account? And how likely is the podcast getting sued if the un-bleeped version is ever aired? Clamber into the clapped-out rollercoaster, pull the Play lever and find out… [SERIOUS NOTE, THOUGH: The competition mentioned in this episode is NO LONGER RUNNING because it was recorded three years ago and someone WON. Yeah that's right, you had your chance then.] The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

Horror and hard rock have long gone hand in grimy hand, and this outing of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour's After Dark strand harkens back to an historical moment where three chords and hairspray attempted to go mainstream. Because when the lead singer of the world's largest metal band stars in a Tuesday night BBC One drama, you know it's not long before he'll be recognised in Waitrose. Yes, the volume is turned up to eleven as the doors of 1990's The Paradise Club are booted well and truly booted open, as the world's unlikeliest brothers play host to London's least stage-ready band, who perform to unfeasibly small audiences that have never before heard any music. As connoisseurs of loud tunes and questionable television, this is of course PeggyMountPod's perfect cultural fodder... Has the BBC drama department only got one casting director for everything they make? Has the money that would normally spent on extras for the club scenes gone to PRS royalties for a soundtrack that the show's Sanatogen-necking audience might actually recognise? And how much does this podcast owe Bruce Dickinson for repeatedly howling ♫ 'TATTOO-OO-OOED MILLIONA-A-A-A-AIRE' throughout*? Press Play on a shoddily-recorded bootleg that you bought for £2 off the market, and find out... *Absolutely nothing. Blackout's already bought Tattooed Millionaire on at least five different releases, it's more than paid for. The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

As noted several moons ago, The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour knows that the language of cinema is a little different to that of the small screen, but it’s a lesson they love to revisit nonetheless. This week’s study is of personal pronouns; as in ‘She'll probably regret wearing that’, ‘He made an egg sandwich that should be on trial’, and ‘I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle’… Yes, Doctor Velvet and Blackout round out the podcast's After Dark series by shining a flickering torch into the dimmest days of the British Film Industry, to find the Boon reunion-party in full swing and drenched in red-dyed corn syrup. Still, there’s a vicar on-hand so it’s all good* clean** fun***. Why did Anthony Daniels agree to a part in this? Why did Burt Kwouk agree to a part as long as he didn't have to speak? And why did Pod Producer Ken leave the room mid-way through and lock himself in the toilet, crying? Put 20p in the pub jukebox, press Play, swing off a cast iron chandelier and find out… * delete ** as *** appropriate The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour continues to explore the weekly cultural abyss of what really goes on After Dark. But as so often with the analysis of horror, the story of what scares us isn't quite as intriguing as what in turn reassures. And for a formative mind in the harsh striplights of the 1980s, there are few things so reassuring as the jet slacks, tousled demi-wave and leatherette blouson of the world's most mysterious techno-vigilante... Yes, Doctor Velvet and Blackout are joined once again by the loveably irascible Ozzy Bognops, as their attention turns to that doyenne of Saturday teatime adventure, the Knight Rider. Because when things take a theatrically sinister turn on a Hollywood backlot and Michael Knight is sent to investigate, absolutely no nit will be left unpicked back at Mountpeg Towers... How much money can you save by writing a screenplay set literally in the studio where it's going to be made, so that you don't have to do any set-dressing? How convenient is it to get your star's stuntman to play the star in a thing where your star plays his stuntman? And how many hints does a man have to drop that he just wants a job where he can go to the beach? Tell your car to press Play, and find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]

It's the question asked by anybody of an inquiring mind (and the hosts of The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour are no exception) when faced with baffling circumstance and an unexplained outcome: Did that actually just happen? In fact, so determined are they to get to the bottom of it all that they've asked The ExtonMoss Experiment to come round and help solve the mysteries of the universe. Or of Bristol, at the very least. Yes, passing under the rickety analytical equipment knocked together in a remote barn is BBC2's landmark cultural exploration of the outré from 1973, Leap In The Dark. Covering an array of psychic phenomena such as astrology, clairvoyance, divining and walking around a field for hours on end with sticks, this thoughtful yet playfully sceptical magazine-show is sure to raise more questions than it answers... Is Gordon Snell sponsored by Lee Bender? Is Linda Blandford sponsored by BUPA? And has Dŵr Cymru Welsh Water still not sponsored that cottage yet? Wave your dowsing rod over the Play button and you might just find out... The Peggy Mount Calamity Hour is a free podcast from iPorle Media, which holds production copyright. Opinions and recollections expressed are not to be taken as fact. The title and credit music is by Doctor Velvet, with additional accompaniments from Ozzy Bognops. Audio segments from television programmes are presented for review and informational purposes only under fair use, and no ownership of these is claimed or implied by this show. Email enquiries to [email protected]