Transactional Relationships - MTP414

Co-Host Dr. Thomas Jordan (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/jordan) An increasingly disturbing trend is toward unabashedly transactional relationships between men and women. But what does that even mean? My returning guest is Dr. Thomas Jordan, a clinical psychologist and love live researcher who may be the very best guy to answer that question. Dr. Jordan (you can call him Tom) and I talk first about the reasons why relationships have moved away from concepts like, oh...intimacy and connection, and more toward what each respective party can get out of the deal. Is there any wonder the divorce rate is so high? Well, as it turns out, there's more there than meets the eye...and it's fascinating. What is the connection between transactional relationships and what Tom calls 'defensive relationships'? And is it possible to have a purely transactional relationship even if the two of you have 'fallen in love'? What if the person you want to serve your needs in a relationship actually has needs of their own...but both partners are completely oblivious to that even being a possibility? Can such a relationship be redeemed, let alone last for any reasonable period of time? Next, Tom drops a bomb...people who are all about transactional relationships DON'T need dating advice (but it's not like it's because they're all set, though). How did many people who gravitate toward selfishness in relationships become that way? And, well...what is the healthier alternative to transactional relationships? While we're at it, what is "intimacy" supposed to look like, anyway? Then we talk about how the subjective "benefits", if you will, above and beyond mere transactional relationships often take people by surprise...and how FAR too many people figure that out too late in life, if they find out at all. Overall, a particularly meaningful and valuable episode with one of the great relationship thinkers of our time. Get in on all the extras--including the free ones--when you visit https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT === Picture this... You're at a social gathering and you see some other guy talking to exactly the woman you had your eye on. She's laughing, hitting him on the shoulder and, well...looks like she's thoroughly attracted to him. But here's the thing...every time YOU finally get the chance to talk to a woman you really want, you never see ANY of those signals. What's going on there? Well, as this Snippet From The Summit clearly demonstrates, you're probably in for a surprise...and it's the best kind possible. More at https://mountaintoppodcast.com    

Co-Host Marcus Oakey (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/marcus) My returning guest is British charisma coach Marcus Oakey, who is exactly who you need to help you get past small talk with people, and especially get through that awkward 'cordial' stage that ensues. What is it exactly about cordial small talk that's lacking, and what kind of conversation is it we should actually be moving toward instead? And what if you're indeed pretty good at making conversation with people, but still encounter some who are virtually impossible to talk to? Is it YOU, or THEM? And in such cases, where can you find small talk out of nowhere when you need it? And what do you do if you don't get the desired response from the other person? Do you have to be a brilliant conversationalist to be a charismatic presence? When it comes to early-stage conversation, how can we as men unwire our competition mindset, as if every interaction is going to be a win or a loss? The truth is you can achieve true connection and rapport with people and make them like you without any real advanced skill whatsoever...in fact, as one story illustrates, often less can be more. What is Marcus' hack for objectively moving from cordial talk to more meaningful conversation? How many times should you attempt to expand a conversation with someone before wishing them well and signing off? The answer to that one WILL surprise you. And finally...what are the hazardous consequences of waiting for someone else to make the first move conversationally? Get your copy of Sticking Points Solved and more when you visit https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT === Some guys give themselves a false sense of empowerment by blaming women for everything that goes wrong in relationships. In their estimation, any man who tries to 'do better' in a bad situation with a woman is acting like a weakling. But doesn't that leave us perpetually at an impasse when it comes to potential success with women? There's got to be a way to improve our ability to attract women and earn their respect than simply kowtowing to the ones who hammer us with double-standards. And fortunately, there indeed is. More at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

Co-Host Dr. Avrum Weiss (https://www.mountaintoppodcast.com/avrum) The first time my guest Dr. Avrum Weiss was on, he threw down some enlightening yet challenging ideas about not only HOW we as men tend to be afraid of women, but WHY. This time, he returns to go into more detail about how even those of us who THINK we're pretty much fearless out there with women are hamstringing ourselves when it comes to success with women. As his book's title says, much of this self-sabotage happens in plain sight. What's more, women themselves also see our fear...and yet typically offer little to no help in letting us see our own proverbial forest for the trees. Why is this all apparently so simple, yet so complicated at the same time? Well, Avrum starts off by explaining how we as men experience fear of women as opposed to how women perceive it. As much as we associate fear with the attraction process and dating, where does most of it REALLY come from? Then we explain exactly why so many men attract 'average' women without any problem whatsoever...until they're in front of a woman they're actually attracted to. And how can subtle fears crater our chances with women...not just in the beginning, but eventually in the context of even a long-term relationship? What are the real differences between what women SAY they want in a man, and what they REALLY want? And how do OUR fears as men influence both? Next, if we know being needy and seeking approval is an attraction killer, why do so many men have such a hard time cutting it out? And most of all...what is the most effective antidote for relational fear? Stay tuned for practical steps. After all these years, some of you guys still aren't getting my free daily newsletter. It's fluff-free and contains actionable steps to being a better man and succeeding with women. Get in on that and more at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT === It happens to every one of us. You meet a woman who in almost every way is beautiful, sexy, altogether sane and...well, PERFECT for you. EXCEPT ONE. And man...if she'd just change THAT one annoying habit or attraction faux pas, everything would be perfect. Well, what should you do? Should you just deal with it, or is there a workable strategy to affect the change? The answer--as in all too many scenarios in this life--is it depends. That's what we'll cover quickly and concisely in this episode. Oh, and by the way...what if she announced to YOU that there's just ONE THING about YOU that drives HER nuts? We've got that covered as well. More at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

Co-Host Emily McKay (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/coach) First and foremost, if you think even for a second that this episode is going to be about two dinosaurs reminiscing about the past, you're in for a surprise. Given how Emily and I have been totally immersed in dating and relationship stuff for nearly 20 years, we've had our fingers on the pulse of how men and women relate for a LONG time. On top of that, with a milestone high school reunion coming up this year, I've found myself thinking about how dating and relating has evolved...and surprised myself with a few key revelations. With all of that in mind, Emily and I have an honest, eye-opening conversation featuring straight talk about what we're GLAD isn't going on anymore. And yes, we also find a few examples of really good stuff that used to happen that just doesn't anymore. For instance, what good has online dating and the proliferation of Internet dating advice done...but at what cost? How did 'hookup culture' change the game? How about pharmaceutical technology, of all things? At what time in history were women the most attractive? Were some of the styles and behaviors of the past that we cringe at when we see old pictures really BETTER, not WORSE? Was dating really drudgery, and whatever it has evolved (or devolved?) into really better? Have men forgotten how to be attractive? (Expect surprising answers on that one.) Is the post-modern version of seduction and courtship really different? What about texting vs. the now lost art of the phone call? Let's just say those questions were merely the warmup. Look forward to an entertaining yet brutally honest take on what should be brought back vs. what should be left in the past. Talk to me for 25 minutes FREE, by all means sign up for the FREE newsletter if you haven't already and more at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT === You don't hear me talk about women in bars and clubs very often. As it turns out, there are plenty of good reasons for that. Not only do the PUAs tend to have that covered, most of you guys listening to this show are NOT pickup artists anyway. So why is it, then, that so many of us are left to believe that the advice for attracting women out on the town in Los Angeles or Miami will work with the kind of women we REALLY want...in the town we REALLY live in? This is the take many of you might have been waiting YEARS to hear. Find more at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!  

Co-Host Jillian Romero Chaves (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/clara) My guest Jillian Romero Chaves is the founder and CEO of an app called Clara For Daters, which she emphasizes is NOT a dating app. As an active dater and a dating advocate herself as a single woman, she developed Clara as a tool to empower dating app users to get the most out of their rapidly-declining experience. Now, it's no secret that the vast majority of dating app users are indeed growing more disillusioned--if not flat-out disgusted with--their lack of success nowadays. But are dating apps indeed worth saving? With people's social muscles still atrophied out there as much as ever, Jillian is looking for ways that online dating apps can somehow start serving their users better. In fact, her optimistic hope is that the apps will start seeing their customers as daters instead of mere users. What does she mean by that, exactly? And since Jillian is dedicated to cultivating genuine, in-person social connections, she feels compelled to confront the loneliness epidemic rampant in our digital age. How is it that app daters can escape the the endless cycle of swiping and messaging that goes nowhere, and instead starting again to use the apps as they were apparently originally intended...as a tool to facilitate meeting REAL people in the REAL world on REAL dates? Why is she so strongly for the concept of 'roster dating' (or 'rotational dating')? And for sure, how did the recent 'Bumble billboard fumble' affect her and her outlook on things? Get on my calendar for 25 minute FREE and more at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT ===  The media and society at large tend to dictate what we are to find sexually attractive. You may have noticed that already, but have you ever noticed how what we're told to consider attractive almost always has ONE tricky feature in common? Meanwhile, I will PROVE in this brief Snippet From The Summit how what we as men have been trained to consider sexy and appealing isn't always what REALLY turns us on. Not only is that perfectly fine and normal, other languages even have words to describe this whole phenomenon that don't translate into English. Meanwhile, women out there are still brainwashed into trying to fit societal 'standards'...often to the detriment of real sexual attractiveness. More, as always, at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!