The Dude Therapist podcast

Are we Wired for Love? Navigating Modern Dating w/ Dr. Stan Tatkin

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Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, discusses the importance of secure functioning in relationships and the principles of mutual care and the couple bubble. He emphasizes the need for couples to create a shared vision and set of social contracts to protect and support each other. Dr. Tatkin also highlights the challenges of modern dating and the importance of building secure functioning relationships from the start. He concludes by discussing the ongoing research being conducted by the PACT Institute to provide evidence-based support for their approach.


Bio:

Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.   

Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.    

Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.


Chapters:

  • 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute
  • 02:00 Understanding PACT and its Polytheoretical Approach
  • 04:54 The Motivation Behind Creating a New Perspective in Couples Therapy
  • 08:44 The Impact of John Gottman and Sue Johnson on Couples Therapy
  • 09:42 The Role of Brain Science and Psychobiology in Couples Therapy
  • 11:32 Applying Brain Science and Psychobiology to Communication and Conflict Resolution
  • 13:25 The Importance of Knowledge and Psychoeducation in Couples Therapy
  • 15:22 The Interplay Between the Brain and Couples Therapy
  • 20:16 Revising 'Wired for Love' and the Changing Landscape of Relationships
  • 23:14 Common Relationship Pitfalls and Mistakes to Avoid
  • 27:38 Creating a Shared Vision and Accommodating Differences in Relationships
  • 35:16 The Importance of Mutual Care and the Couple Bubble
  • 44:51 Applying PACT Principles to Modern Dating and Relationships
  • 50:14 Building Secure Functioning Relationships from the Start
  • 52:36 Key Relationship Advice from Dr. Stan Tatkin
  • 55:03 Ongoing Research by the PACT Institute

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