The Cannon Canon

"ROYAL BLOOD!" Well, Cannonheads. The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) have one last Cannon hurrah before shooting up the coffin of The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Canon is taking an indefinite hiatus (possibly returning with a new format/focus in the future) and what better way to send us off than with Cannon's "final" movie, HELLBOUND! In this episode, The Cannon Bros reminisce about their 4-year run and FINALLY try Bronson's cologne, Mandom! We chat about the wild tone shifts of Hellbound, the proto-Walker Texas Ranger vibes, the heavy lifting of acting from Calvin Levels and of course...thuddy quips from the “black hole of comedy”, Molasses 2x4! Thank you to everyone who listened and supported the show! Especially to our Patreon members and also to the author of The Cannon Film Guide series himself, Austin Trunick. We thought we'd be the future! But then Marion Cobretti pointed his gun at us and said, "No. You're history". Thanks for everything, Cannon fans. OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

"So long, Sport." The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back in Cannon Prestige territory with a stacked cast and some classy sleaze with "52 PICK UP"! Roy Scheider plays an ego-driven jerk, John Glover goes full Philly, poor Ann-Margret gets put through the wringer, Clarence Williams the III steals the show and once again.. Vanity! ”Something about your face makes me want to slap the sh!t out of you!" is what The Cannon Bros would say if you missed this episode! OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

"This coke's kinda sweet. It's really good stuff!" The movie so nice (?) Golan and Globus made it twice! First as Lemon Popsicle and then updated for American audiences in the 80's. That's right, today the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) break out the Oingo Boingo for yet another teen sex comedy, THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN! Starring the most unlikeable whiny ass character besides the kid in "Over The Top" (which is actually pretty accurate for a teenage boy, so it gets a pass). So bring your small Christmas trees and bag of oranges and "Come to Carmela!" *cue "Are You Ready for the Sex Girls"* OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

"Welcome to the party, pal!" Now we have a Die Hard episode HoHoHo! That's right, we're steering the sleigh away from Cannon Town to deliver the gift of our thoughts on this Holiday classic. Rub your feet on this episode carpet, grab a twinkie and declare "Yipee-ki-ya, *Mister Falcon"! (*edited for TV version). (in Hans Gruber voice) Merry Christmas, Cannonheads. OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

“The deal’s going down. But it’s going down twisted." The Cannon Bros travel back to the Pyuniverse and get down twisted about 1987's "DOWN TWISTED"! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get disoriented with all the (down) twists and turns, contemplate the "comedic relief" of the late Charles Rocket, some Cannon Oingo Boingo reuse and...oh yeah! Hey, it's Masters of the Universe's (and nothing else) Courtney Cox for a quick minute! Ultimately, Albert Pyun's unique and signature style elevates what would normally be a static action crime adventure. But one thing's certain, it's...Down Twisted. 😎 OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

"Swamp makes a body see…whatever they wants ta see." Get on your tuxes and cook up dat gumbo, cher! Cuz we're back in Prestige Cannon territory with a drama only Cannon can add a bit of sleaze to... SHY PEOPLE! The Cannon Bros define what "Boomer Emo Porn" is, covet Martha Plimpton's shirt collection, discuss ACT-ING and finally get to go on a proper Tangerine Dream tangent. “Now get yo mamma to stitch that up!” and crawl da swamps of data der Cannon Canon! (cajun laugh) OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

"Ba-Ba-Ba---Banana!" The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) experience another existential crisis thanks to this Cannon Kids Classic, "Going Bananas"! "Bonzo love Ben!" and The Cannon Cannon loves YOU, dear listener. *cue Dom DeLuise mug to camera* OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

"The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is... they're dead." Today on the Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff), shout "Thrill me!" as they jam their skulls into another Loose Cannon just in time for SPOOKYYYYY season! It's a personal favorite, 1986's NIGHT OF THE CREEPS! In this episode, we give obligatory and heartfelt love for the spectacular Tom Atkins, talk more Shane Black, how "fun" isn't a bad thing and how we ALL “get off on living in the past." It's an episode that'll have you wryly declaring, "classic spanky". OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

”You think that when you die, you go to heaven. You come to us!” The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are taking a spooky detour this episode to cover a favorite non-Cannon horror flick, PHANTASM II ! The Cannon Bros have been talking about this one for a while and Halloween season is the perfect excuse to finally talk about it, in all its Tall Man glory, BOY! Phantasm II gets the Aliens treatment. Everything you loved in the first one gets a pumped-up, action-packed upgrade (and some sexy fun for good measure). This episode will have you screaming, "It's only a dream!" *cue the Cannon Bros breaking through glass to drag you to a hell dimension* "NO! IT'S NOT!" OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!

“Rock n roll. I’ll cover you!” Today on the Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get a suggested "Could've Been A Cannon/Loose Cannon" from Patreon member, Ed Harris! The movie? 1986's The Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf! Which had an HBO/Cannon Video VHS release (hence the "Loose Cannon"). Sir Christopher Lee musters up the strength to co-star with Reb Brown and Annie McEnroe, while a stunning Sybil Danning steals the show (and gets done dirty by the film's director and editor in the film's credit sequence). This Could've Been A Cannon/Loose Cannon has lazily rewritten vampire to werewolf specifics, unsettling practical effects, explosive blood of Christ and a theme song that just. won't.quit! Literally. Also, was Robert Smith inspired by this theme song for The Cure's "Burn"?! "It's not over yet"! So "bark at the moon", because "She-Wolf Stirba: Werewolf Bitch" is throwing a werewolf orgy at the Babel show! See you hair...um, there! OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Please rate and review us!