Why You Need the Good Stress of Socializing

Courage is one of our most prized and celebrated virtues. But once you really start exploring it, the nature of courage is surprisingly hard to pin down.Here to help us explore the fascinating complications of courage is William Ian Miller, a historian, professor of law, and the author of The Mystery of Courage. Today on the show, Bill explains how centuries of philosophers, soldiers, and storytellers have approached courage and the hard-to-answer questions its manifestations raise. We discuss why courage has long been ranked among the highest virtues, the relationship between fear and courage, the fuzzy line between courage and cowardice, the association of courage and manhood, whether or not courage is domain specific, the difference between offensive and defensive courage, whether martyrs are courageous, whether deeds with evil ends are courageous, how fear, shame, and honor shape brave action, and more.Resources Related to the PodcastThe Road to Richmond: The Civil War Memoirs of Maj. Abner R. SmallIf I Die in a Combat Zone: Box Me Up and Ship Me Home by Tim O'BrienGood-Bye to All That by Robert GravesThe Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. GrantAoM Article: Developing Manly CourageAoM Article: 9 Ways to Become More CourageousAoM Article: Courage Vs. Boldness — How to Live With Spartan BraveryAoM Podcast #380: How to Increase Your Courage and BraveryAoM Article: The 54 Best Quotes on CourageAoM Article: The Cardinal Virtues — CourageAoM Podcast #763: The Perils and Powers of CowardiceAoM series on honorConnect With William Ian MillerBill's faculty pageThanks to This Week’s Podcast SponsorIncogni. Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/manlinessSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We tend to think of genius as something you’re born with — a rare trait possessed by the Einsteins and Teslas of the world. But what if many of the abilities we associate with genius — a great memory, quick problem-solving, mental math, creative insight — are actually trainable skills?My guest today says that’s exactly the case. His name is Nelson Dellis, and he's a six-time USA Memory Champion and the author of the book Everyday Genius.In our conversation, Nelson explains why memory is the foundation of thinking well and why having information stored in your head still matters in the age of ChatGPT. He shares a practical technique for improving your memory, how to read with greater focus and retention, and how to study to actually make information stick. We then talk about the importance of developing “number sense” and how to convert imperial measurements to metric in your head, strategies for solving problems more effectively, and even how to gain an edge in the games of Monopoly and Connect Four. At the end of the conversation, we get into more esoteric territory, including intuition, dreams, and the idea of remote viewing.Resources Related to the PodcastNelson's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #546 — How to Get a Memory Like a Steel TrapAoM Article: 10 Ways to Improve Your MemoryAoM Article: How to Speed Read Like Theodore RooseveltAoM Podcast #385: Learning How to LearnAoM Article: Study Tactics of the Successful Gentleman ScholarThe CIA's remote viewing programConnect With Nelson DellisNelson's websiteNelson on YouTubeThanks to This Week’s Podcast SponsorIncogni. Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/manlinessSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cold exposure has gotten a lot of attention the past few years, with people dunking themselves in ice baths for the sake of their health and well-being. But, good news here, exposing yourself to heat by sitting in the sauna or even a hot tub, might actually be even better for you, not to mention more pleasant.In his new book, Hotwired: How the Hidden Power of Heat Makes Us Stronger, Bill Gifford unpacks the dichotomy of heat: how it can be both a danger and a healer. In the first part of our conversation, we dive into that former side, discussing what happens when your core temperature gets too high, why some people handle the stress of hot temperatures better than others, and how heat tolerance can actually be trained. We then talk about the advantages of heat exposure over cold exposure, and the benefits of heat for both body and mind, including how it can boost athletic performance and heart health, and may even be an effective treatment for depression. We also talk about how to get the most out of your sauna sessions and how Bill and I like to sauna.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: How to Sauna — All the FAQsAoM Article: How Saunas Can Help Save Your Body, Mind, and SpiritAoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of DepressionAoM Podcast #724: The Strange Science of SweatStudy reviewing the health benefits of "sauna bathing"Hotter'n Hell Hundred bike raceConnect with Bill GiffordBill on IGBill on XThanks to This Week’s Podcast SponsorIncogni. Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/manlinessSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When we fail to make desired progress in life, most of us put the blame on physical and environmental limits. But my guest says that what's really holding people back is what's in their heads.Nir Eyal is the author of Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Breakthrough Results. Today on the show, he argues that much of how we think about ourselves, our abilities, and what’s possible becomes our reality, and that getting what we want in life often comes down to changing how we perceive it. Drawing on research in neuroscience and psychology, Nir shares the three powers of belief, and how they direct your attention, alter your expectations, shape your sense of agency, and determine whether you stick with hard things long enough to see results. Along the way, he shares ways to identify and challenge the limiting beliefs that can sabotage your goals and relationships.Resources Related to the PodcastNir's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #553 — How to Become IndistractableAoM Article: How Reframing Builds ResilienceAoM podcast episode on William James and pragmatismConnect with Nir EyalNir's websiteThanks to This Week’s Podcast SponsorIncogni. Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/manlinessSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When it comes to building a happy and meaningful life, most of us rely on a grab bag of strategies — habits and goals around work, relationships, and health. But my guest today would argue that in the quest for true flourishing, there’s a deeper element that not only ties together those efforts, but organizes and energizes them: purpose.Vic Strecher is a professor of public health, a behavioral scientist, and the author of Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything. We begin our conversation with Vic's powerful story of how losing his 19-year-old daughter led him to discover how purpose can fundamentally reshape your life. Vic then unpacks the dramatic impact purpose has on your physical and mental health. He shares some guideposts on finding your own purpose, what kinds of aims foster the most fulfillment, why finding purpose isn't a one-and-done process, and why becoming purposeful can make life feel less like a tug-of-war and more like stepping into a strong current that carries you forward.Resources Related to the PodcastThe Purposeful appAoM Article:The Power of PurposeThe 5 Best AoM Podcast Episodes on Finding Meaning and PurposeAoM Podcast #1,051: Man’s Search for Meaning, With Viktor Frankl’s GrandsonConnect with Vic StrecherVic's faculty pageVic on LinkedInSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're looking for a way to improve your fitness, boost your mental health, and reconnect with a deeply human activity — all without going to the gym or pounding your knees on a daily run — then rucking may be the practice you've been looking for.Rucking is simple: throw some weight on your back and start walking. But a little context and a few key tips can make it a safer, more effective, and more satisfying experience. Here to unpack those principles and practicals is Michael Easter, author of Walk With Weight: The Definitive Guide to Rucking. Michael and I first explore the evolutionary and military history of carrying load. We then dive into why rucking is perhaps the most accessible form of training for strength and stamina, and such an effective tool for alleviating back pain, building bone health, and fostering fat loss. We get into using a backpack versus a weighted vest, how much weight you should carry, and how you can get started today with stuff you've probably already got lying around.Resources Related to the PodcastMichael's previous appearances on the AoM podcast: Episode #708: Overcome the Comfort CrisisEpisode #930: Break Your Bad Habits by Escaping the Scarcity LoopThe Comfort Crisis by Michael EasterAoM Article: Cardio for the Man Who Hates Cardio — The Benefits of RuckingAoM podcast interview with the founder of GoRuckAoM Podcast #682: Get RuckingAoM Article: Don’t Just Lift Heavy, Carry HeavyAoM Article: How to Take Care of Feet on a Hike or RuckAoM Article: One Weird Trick for Busting Through a Weight-Loss PlateauAoM Article: The Benefits of Hanging for Strength and MobilityAoM Article: Lessons From the Roman Art of WarGoRuckConnect with Michael EasterMichael's Substack: Two PercentThanks to This Week’s Podcast SponsorIncogni. Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/manlinessSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The awkward silence at work when everyone knows a project is going off the rails.The simmering resentment in a marriage over an issue neither spouse will confront.The dysfunction in a church where certain topics are understood to be off-limits.My guest, Joseph Grenny, says that some of the biggest problems in every organization, from businesses to families, aren't the issues themselves, but people's inability to talk about them. Joseph is a business social scientist and consultant, and the co-author of the bestselling book Crucial Conversations. For decades, he’s studied why people shut down or blow up when the stakes are high, emotions are strong, and opinions differ.Today on the show, we talk about what makes a conversation “crucial,” why our brains betray us in conflict, and how to escape the false choice between maintaining a relationship and speaking honestly. From figuring out what kind of conversation you need to have, to creating the right conditions for connection, to dealing with criticism, we unpack how to have the conversations you’ve been avoiding — at work, at home, and everywhere else.Connect With Joseph GrennyCrucial Learning websiteJoseph on LinkedInSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Of all the books in the Bible, Ecclesiastes is arguably the most philosophical. Dark, experiential, existential, and unsparingly honest about the human condition, it wrestles with work, money, ambition, pleasure, time, and death — and it does so in a way that feels uncannily modern. Whether you approach it as sacred scripture or simply as ancient wisdom literature, Ecclesiastes has something to say to anyone who’s ever chased success, gotten what they wanted, and then wondered, Is this really it?Here to unpack this ancient philosophy is Bobby Jamieson, a pastor and the author of Everything Is Never Enough: Ecclesiastes’ Surprising Path to Resilient Happiness. We discuss why Ecclesiastes resonates so strongly in our age of acceleration and control, why so much of life can feel absurd and unsatisfying, and how the book ultimately shows us how to enjoy — and even embrace — what first appears to be vanity of vanities.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #956: Feeling Depressed and Discombobulated? Social Acceleration May Be to BlameDying Breed Article: Resonance as an Antidote to Social AccelerationAoM Podcast #1,100: Money and Meaning — What Faith Traditions Teach Us About Personal FinanceThe Uncontrollability of the World by Hartmut RosaJerry Seinfeld on saving timeConnect with Bobby JamiesonBobby on XThanks to Today's SponsorSurfshark. Go to https://surfshark.com/manliness or use code MANLINESS at checkout to get 4 extra months of Surfshark VPN!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not long ago, the primary concern people had about boys was that they were wild, impulsive, and out of control — getting into fights, pushing limits, and stirring up trouble. Today, the problem has flipped. The more common challenge isn’t reckless behavior, but inert passivity. More and more young men are anxious, apathetic, socially isolated, and seemingly uninterested in doing much of anything at all.Vince Benevento, the founder of Causeway Collaborative — a male-specific counseling center — and the author of Boys Will Be Men: 8 Lessons for the Lost American Male, has spent nearly two decades working on the front lines of this shift. As a therapist, coach, and mentor who specializes in helping young men between the ages of 14 and 30, Vince has worked with both the combustible and the checked-out and developed a clear, experience-honed framework for what actually helps guys get unstuck, take ownership of their lives, and move forward with purpose.In today’s conversation, we unpack what Vince has learned through years of work with boys and men, and how his approach — which is rooted more in action than in talk — can be applied not just in the therapist’s office, but by parents and mentors. We dig into why traditional therapy often fails young men, and how to give them the drive, accountability, and sense of connection they crave. We discuss the importance of teaching young men to build life “brick by brick” and helping them find their wild, their thing, and a good group of friends.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy Into a ManAoM Podcast #926: The 5 Shifts of ManhoodAoM Podcast #1,028: The 5 Marks of a ManAoM Podcast #886: What the World of Psychology Gets Wrong About MenAoM Article: Get Your Son Out of His BedroomAoM Article: How Labeling Your Emotions Can Help You Take ControlSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We’ve all had that feeling — you meet someone new, and the conversation just flows. You’re in sync. You click. But what’s really happening when that magic occurs?My guest today is journalist Kate Murphy, author of Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony, and she says this experience isn’t just a vibe, it’s a measurable physiological phenomenon and the most consequential social dynamic most people have never heard of. In our conversation, we dig into what happens when people click, why syncing with others feels so good, and how it influences everything from friendships to teamwork to romantic relationships. We also talk about why some people have a knack for connection, how you can become more “clickable,” and why video calls are the worst.Resources Related to the PodcastDying Breed article: Resonance as an Antidote to Social AccelerationKate's previous book: You're Not ListeningSunday Firesides: Be Someone's Atmospheric GetawayAoM Article: The Importance of Eye ContactSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.