That Checks Out

The guys discuss how accepting that promotion can get you arrested, when extreme boredom will inevitably result in higher learning, and why “playing until the whistle” is virtually impossible when you can’t even hear the national anthem. 

The guys discuss how many damaged vehicles it requires to necessitate a proposal, when guacamole coupons are considered adequate payment for $700 worth of Free Bird, and why Cadbury Eggs are not often best served warm. 

The guys discuss why Damon intends to foil any attack with his most “adequate” weapon, when 23,033 slaps will most definitely lead to salmonella, and how the most wanted pigeon in India is just really bad at following directions. 

The guys discuss how you only have 362 days to plan for panda sex, when engaging in a “fresh start” could cause you to bleed out, and why where you BRING your kid matters more than where you LEAVE your kid in relation to being a deadbeat dad. 

The guys discuss why a cranberry tart taint undoubtedly ensures a burning sensation, when you’ll need to remove your slippers to avoid being murdered, and how most attractive German woman are last seen sitting on specialty hitchhiking benches.  

The guys discuss why Norwegian steps will never compare to Icelandic steps, when spicy enchiladas are guaranteed to kill you, and how aggressive doggie kisses will cure blindness. 

The guys discuss how having “relations” while vacuuming will almost always result in divorce, when the scent of Wasabi can save your life, and why “porcupining” has an extremely low success rate. 

The guys discuss how improperly gluing your hands to genitals can make for an uncomfortable car ride to the precinct, when throwing your baby over a fence incites endless support from onlookers, and why making sure your Uncle Bill always has a clean long-sleeved henley ensures you’ll never be without a drummer. 

The guys discuss why Damon could be guilty of harassment towards Ted if they recorded in the UK, when an ambulance ride and a reduced fine doesn’t get your groceries put away, and how dogs get premier seats at rock concerts at Sofi Stadium. 

The guys discuss how tight mittens cause irreversible emotional scarring, when hygienically pressure washing your coin purse dictates that you always go second, and why beating a monkey at Monopoly still doesn’t get you out of buying dinner.