Shut the F*** Up Nick Lachey

In this Love Is Blind season 3 After the Altar part 2 (seriously! there is still one more) recap, Daisy and Ellyn break down the chaos: Cole gets stonewalled, Alexa's $415 spiderweb dress makes its debut, and Matt is not drunk.

In Love Is Blind season 3: After The Altar part 1, nothing happens, so naturally, Daisy & Ellyn have a lot to say. From unneutered dogs to oversized lips, they dissect the chaos and ask the important question: why is this THREE parts?!?!

It's the reunion we've all been waiting for. We may have been misremembering things a little… Vanessa comes dressed as Grover from Sesame Street. Alexa and Brennon have a lot of opinions about everyone else. Barfbag's hair somehow got worse? Zenab tries to play a masterful game of 8D Chess and learns that on reality TV, everyone can hear you lying (CUTIEGATE!!!) Ellyn and Daisy both joined from remote locations. Ellyn's brother's dog is a fucking asshole, and Daisy almost dies of heatstroke.

It's the weddings part two! Nancy's family is NOT here for Barfbag's shit. They smelled him coming a mile away. Zenab OBLITERATES Cole at the altar and gets… applause? Matt and Colleen say I do BECAUSE THAT SEEMS LIKE THE RIGHT CHOICE. And Alexa and Brennon are there. This episode had us saying, "I do… not understand any of these people.

And the weddings have begun! It's Love Is Blind season three, episode 10! SK and Raven are getting married. Or that's what it seems like… SK suddenly has a bunch of opinions he never bothered to share until AFTER the altar? Nancy sends Barfbag a thoughtful gift, and he sends her… a shot of tequila. It's like he wakes up every morning and goes, "How can I SUCK THE MOST today?" And then he triples down on it.

In Love Is Blind episode nine of season three, Ellyn and Daisy must rise above myriad technical difficulties to recap how these people have to rise above their own delusions and stupidity to make it to the altar. Matt continues to be scary, even though Colleen is finally, maybe, possibly growing a pair, Barfbag's reign as "THE WORST" has been usurped by Zenab who is the most insufferable SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY we've ever seen, somehow Raven and SK are the healthiest couple (?), and Alexa and Brennon are also…there. It's the most pants-shittingest episode yet!

We're back where we left off with season 3 after we detoured for some UK action. Well, it's season three, episode eight and everyone is on edibles. There's no other explanation. Barfbag has done a 180 on Nancy and definitely NOT for the extra screen time. Alexa's friends sleep on a good union man. Matt's friends laugh off his abusive behavior (that's guy's a REAL silly goose!). And SK's family tell Raven how to be a good Nigerian wife (hint, she needs to bow to all men)! Colleen is still the fucking worst but now with an English accent!

In this final installment (we hope) of UK season 2 After the Altar, the drama continues at the manor as couples finally confront each other about real and percieved hurts. Katisha and Sarover could probably use some primal scream therapy. Kal continues to be the world's biggest dope. And Booby and Jasmine have their baby!!!

In UK Season Two After the Alter part 2 the whole gang (including... Charlie?!?! WHO TF IS CHARLIE???) are all together celebrating Kieran's birthday. We are SURE this is how he wanted to spend his birthday... Sophie is DEFINITELY not here for drama, except she NEEDS to know how Javen feels about Katisha and Demola. But we're pretty sure Javen can't hear anyone through his shit-eating grin. Sarover has defintiely not processed her feelings about Kal, but Kal has moved on with a new girlfriend that is DEFINITELY not Billy. THEY'RE JUST GOOD BUDDIES!

In the first UK After the Altar, we find out Booby and Jasmine are about to have their first baby, Freddaaaaaay is still single, some guy named David is there (?), and the hot gamer guy is going to have his 30th with all the pod squad. Who will bring the most drama??