Queering Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Queering Menstrual Cycle Awareness in Therapy, with Dr Charlie Ingham and Nancy BancroftWhat happens when you bring the cyclical body into the therapy room, without the binaries, the "divine feminine", or the blue liquid?In this episode, Jude and Alessio are joined by clinical psychologists and IFS therapists Dr Charlie Ingham (she/they) and Dr Nancy Bancroft (she/her), who are about to run a training on menstrual cycle awareness for therapists. Together they explore how knowing your cycle can bring more Self-energy, more clarity and more compassion to your inner system, and how to talk about it in a way that includes everyone for whom it's relevant: women, trans and non-binary people with periods, intersex people, and anyone curious about the cycles moving through their body.In this episode:Hormonal literacy, not gender: moving menstrual cycle awareness away from gender essentialism and patronising, feminised languageWhy therapists might hesitate, and the history of female bodies being dismissed as "hormonal" and left out of researchA biology lesson: circadian and infradian rhythms, oestrogen and progesterone, and why we are all cyclical beingsMultiplicity of cycles and multiplicity of parts: what menstrual cycle awareness and IFS have in commonPremenstrual pain, anger and exhaustion as communication, and as trailheads to what still needs healingNeurodivergence, PMDD and misdiagnosisCapitalism, patriarchy and colonialism in the models therapists were trained inAncient wisdom that has been lost, not newly discoveredHow to invite clients into cycle tracking without invalidating their experienceA starting point from Charlie: before you begin tracking, drop in and notice which parts show up when you think about this.GuestsDr Charlie Ingham (she/they): Instagram @drcharlieingham Dr Nancy Bancroft (she/her): Instagram @thebodyinmindWebsite and booking: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/menstrual-cycle-awareness-in-therapy-integrating-science-cyclical-wisdom-tickets-1994237943372Resources mentionedHer Blood Is Gold by Dr Lara OwenWild Power by Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo WurlitzerRed School and The Menstruality PodcastIf you enjoyed this episode, have a listen to our back catalogue, and like, subscribe and share with a friend.DisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It's for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don't necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC): www.therapywithalessio.comJude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC): www.anchoredinself.co.uk | Instagram @anchored_in_selfSound editing by Forbes Coleman

IFS and Transitional Justice in SyriaThis episode is unlike any other in the Queering IFS series. Jude and Alessio are joined by Hane Alrustm, a Syrian-Lebanese psychoanalyst, theatre practitioner, and founder of Healing on the Move, currently living in Belgium as a refugee. Hane speaks from profound personal experience: the kidnapping of his father by the Syrian government in 2010, the disappearance and death of 10 to 15 family members over the years that followed, and his own exile through Lebanon to Belgium, a country chosen for him by the United Nations.The conversation centres on transitional justice: what it means for a society emerging from large-scale human rights violations to acknowledge what happened, hold perpetrators accountable, and find a path forward. Hane draws direct parallels with IFS, asking what the model can offer at a collective level when individual therapy is simply not available to 25 million people. The language of IFS, exiles, managers, firefighters, parts and self, maps with striking clarity onto the dynamics of a nation trying to transition without first doing the witnessing.They explore the particular grief of ambiguous loss, families unable to mourn without a body, legal systems that leave the missing suspended in limbo, and the question of how to hold perpetrators humanly without excusing what they did. Hane also names the urgency of inclusion: queer people, women, and those on the margins being left out of Syria's current transition is not just an injustice, it is a structural failure in the healing process itself.00:00 Introductions07:00 Hane's personal history and encounter with injustice14:00 The Syrian Revolution and its global impact30:00 What is transitional justice?33:00 IFS language and collective exile37:00 Ambiguous loss and the families of the disappeared44:00 Accountability without demonising47:00 Including all voices in the transition50:00 The Tadamun massacre and layers of hurt54:00 What IFS can offer at a collective levelHealing on the MoveHane's network of mental health professionals offering companionship to people on the move: healingonthemove.com / Instagram: @healingonthemoveDisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It's for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don't necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.therapywithalessio.comJude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.anchoredinself.co.ukSound editing by Forbes Coleman

Adapting IFS for Neuroqueer ClientsIn this episode, Jude and Alessio open up a conversation they've been circling for a while: what does it actually mean to adapt IFS for neurodivergent and queer clients? Not as a checklist of tweaks, but as something more fundamental.They talk about the difference between changing a slide background colour and genuinely redesigning how the model is taught and held. Alessio shares his experience collaborating on the first neurodivergent-friendly Level 1 IFS training, and reflects on how access fatigue can creep in when a model built for neurotypical brains is simply handed over unchanged.From there the conversation moves into the clinical room: what happens when a therapist mistakes verbal processing for a storytelling part, or cognitive processing time for intellectualising? How do two systems, therapist and client, both trying to do IFS "right," end up getting in each other's way? And what does it mean to stay genuinely curious rather than reaching for a protocol?Jude also names something she feels strongly about: IFS is not a linear march toward exile work. Protectors are not obstacles. All parts matter, and working with them is as valuable as anything else the model offers.This is the first of what will likely be several episodes on this theme.Time Stamps00:00 Introduction and today's topic 02:30 Why adaptations aren't just add-ons 05:50 Neurodivergent-friendly IFS training 08:00 Mistaking self-expression for parts 11:00 Access fatigue and trying to do IFS right 14:00 The therapeutic relationship as container 17:00 Learning the model before adapting it 21:00 Being self-led in how you meet other systems 23:00 All parts are valid, protectors included 26:00 Grace, practice, and to be continuedDisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It's for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don't necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.therapywithalessio.comJude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.anchoredinself.co.ukSound editing by Forbes Coleman

Queer Joy is an Act of ResistanceIn this episode, Jude and Alessio explore queer joy - what it is, where it lives, and why it matters. Starting from a poster on a friend's kitchen wall ("queer joy is an act of resistance"), they follow the thread through personal reflection, IFS parts work, and the politics of marginalised identity.They talk about the internal experience of joy as an expression of self-energy, and the protector parts that learn early on that visible joy, particularly joy that doesn't conform to dominant norms, can be dangerous. Alessio shares research from Pink Therapy on queer community engagement and reflects on how homonormativity can recreate the same hierarchies and judgements that queer people face in wider heteronormative society.The conversation moves through neurodivergent joy, and the particular charge of joy that emerges specifically because something has been marginalised. From hand-flapping with a colleague to a trans pin on someone's lapel to RuPaul's Drag Race, they notice how joy can arrive in the smallest, most ordinary moments, and what it means to let it.They close with a question for listeners: what makes you joyful? And what parts might be getting in the way?Watch this space: a guest episode on queer joy is in the making.00:00 Introduction and what is queer joy? 03:00 Joy as an expression of self-energy 07:00 Homonormativity and the policing of joy 09:00 Neurodivergent joy and the shame of being too much 16:00 Joy as an act of resistance 19:00 Does queer joy require community? 24:00 The smallest moments of queer joy 28:00 IFS, parts, and unlocking exiled joy 30:00 What makes you joyful?DisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It's for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don't necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.therapywithalessio.comJude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.anchoredinself.co.ukSound editing by Forbes Coleman

Not all discrimination announces itself. Sometimes it's the thing that didn't happen: the job that went to someone else, the room that went quiet, the invitation that never came. In this episode Jude and Alessio look at discrimination burnout, and specifically at how the weight of these non-events accumulates in neurodivergent and queer systems.They explore minority stress theory, the particular exhaustion of hypervigilance, and the way self-blame can move in when there's nothing concrete to point to. Alessio draws on personal experience, and the conversation moves into what it might look like to find ground again, including through writing and advocacy.00:00 Introduction to Discrimination Burnout03:03 Defining Discrimination Burnout and Non-Event Stress07:46 Impact of Non-Event Stress and Unconscious Bias12:39 Understanding Burnout in Neurodivergent Individuals17:34 Self-Blame and Minority Stress22:58 Resilience and Advocacy through Writing29:32 Conclusion and Call to ActionBurnout Vs autistic burnout explained here on Embrace AutismIf this resonates, share it! Help us spread awareness and support those who need it. Find us online for more resources.DisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It’s for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) - ⁠⁠⁠www.therapywithalessio.com⁠⁠⁠⁠Jude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) with the IFS Institute - ⁠⁠⁠www.anchoredinself.co.uk⁠⁠⁠Sound editing by Forbes Coleman

IFS has a lot to say about the internal landscape. This episode asks what happens when you bring the external one in too.Jude and Alessio explore the relationship between IFS, ecotherapy, and ecopsychology: why mainstream psychotherapy has been slow to look outward toward nature, and what gets missed as a result. They talk about how the natural world can offer something distinct to parts work, not as a backdrop but as an active presence, and why nature connection might be one of the less obvious routes into self-energy.The conversation also touches on what gets in the way, including the pace and logic of late capitalism, and how to begin building a relationship with the natural world even from an urban starting point.Jude's "IFS and the Living Field" workshop runs this July. Details at anchoredinself.co.uk00:00 IFS and Nature: The Missing Link05:06 Psychotherapy’s Missing Link to Nature10:04 Nature’s Role in Healing & IFS16:42 Bridging IFS and Nature Work23:59 Nature vs. Capitalism: A Calmer System31:56 Start Your Nature Connection JourneyCurious to learn more? Join Jude’s “IFS and the Living Field” workshop this July! Visit anchoredinself.co.uk for details.DisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It’s for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) - ⁠⁠⁠www.therapywithalessio.com⁠⁠⁠⁠Jude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) with the IFS Institute - ⁠⁠⁠www.anchoredinself.co.uk⁠⁠⁠Sound editing by Forbes Coleman

Episode: Decolonising IFSIn this episode, Jude and Alessio explore what it might mean to decolonise therapy, with a particular focus on Internal Family Systems (IFS). They reflect on how Western psychotherapy has been shaped by white, Eurocentric frameworks that influence what is considered knowledge, health and healing.Positioning themselves as white European therapists working within these systems, they discuss how therapy models often locate distress within the individual while overlooking the wider social, political and economic systems that shape people’s lives. The conversation explores how structures such as capitalism, hierarchy and individualism can contribute to distress, while therapy sometimes focuses on helping people adapt to those same systems.Drawing on their experiences in clinical practice and professional training, Jude and Alessio consider how these dynamics appear in real therapy spaces. They also reflect on how ideas like professional authority, certification and confidentiality reflect particular cultural assumptions that are not universal across cultures.The episode also explores how IFS both challenges and sits within Western psychology. While IFS introduced the concept of a multiplicity of mind into mainstream psychotherapy, many cultures have long held understandings of multiple selves, spirits or relational identities that Western psychiatry historically dismissed or pathologised.Rather than offering solutions, this conversation invites curiosity and reflection. What assumptions sit beneath the therapeutic models we use? Whose knowledge has been centred, and whose has been overlooked? And how might therapists begin to recognise the wider cultural and systemic waters that both they and their clients are swimming in?DisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It’s for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) – www.therapywithalessio.comJude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) with the IFS Institute – www.anchoredinself.co.ukSound editing by Forbes Coleman

In this episode, Jude and Alessio explore the concept of access fatigue, the exhaustion that comes from repeatedly having to ask for, explain, or negotiate your needs in spaces that were not designed with you in mind.They discuss how access fatigue shows up across many lived experiences, including being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, queer in heteronormative spaces, or disabled in ableist systems. Even when accommodations exist, the ongoing effort of requesting them, organising them, and navigating how those requests are received can still be deeply draining.Drawing on their work as Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapists, Jude and Alessio reflect on how access fatigue appears in therapy spaces, professional training, and everyday life. They explore the emotional risk involved in asking for support, the invisible labour carried by protective parts, and how therapy is never fully separate from the social systems we live within.The conversation also highlights the small but meaningful ways access fatigue can be reduced. When someone remembers your needs, asks about access in advance, or actively considers inclusion and accessibility, it can significantly reduce the burden many people carry just to participate.Rather than placing blame, this episode invites a shift toward shared responsibility and greater awareness of the often unseen labour marginalised people do to navigate everyday environments.Key moments00:05 Introduction03:25 What is access fatigue?05:50 Origin of the term12:40 Access fatigue in therapy training15:00 The “access tightrope” of asking or staying silent20:45 Access in the therapy room24:00 When the outside world has not changed27:40 Closing reflections and looking aheadDisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It’s for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsJude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) with the IFS Institute – ⁠www.anchoredinself.co.uk⁠Alessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) – www.therapywithalessio.comSound editing by Forbes Coleman

Queering IFS - Episode 12 - Bringing Compassion to the Complexity around Pronouns for Everybody with Phil de la HayeIn the first episode of 2026, Jude and Alessio are joined by Phil for a thoughtful conversation about pronouns, privilege, and complexity.Rather than treating pronouns as a simple checkbox, this episode explores how they operate across different layers: inside our systems, in relationship, and within wider cultural and organisational contexts. The conversation stays with the reality that pronouns can be affirming, exposing, political, tender, and sometimes activating, often all at once.Together, they reflect on choice and privilege in pronoun disclosure, the impact of misgendering, the limits of language, and why responsibility for inclusion can’t sit only with individuals.This is a grounded, compassionate conversation for anyone navigating gender, identity, therapy spaces, or leadership and training environments.In this episodePronouns as internal, relational, and contextualDifferent parts having different feelings about pronounsChoice, safety, and the privilege of being gendered “correctly” by defaultThe impact of misgendering, even after disclosurePronouns as labels, and why being asked to declare them can feel jarringLanguage, erasure, and gendered languagesOrganisational responsibility vs individual labourPronoun invitations as harm prevention in training spacesKey timestamps00:00 to 06:00 Introductions and setting the theme06:00 to 11:30 Context, choice, privilege, and internal layers11:30 to 18:00 Pronouns as labels, culture, and legacy20:30 to 24:30 Language, gender, and erasure24:30 to 32:30 Training spaces, access fatigue, and responsibility35:00 to end Power, privilege, and closing reflectionsQuotes“Compassion for the complexity around pronouns for everyone. We’re doing this for all systems.”“If there is no label, then you don’t exist. It’s the double edge.”“Privilege is silent. People don’t know they have it, because it’s a non-problem for them.”Links:Open letter: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ileIj-50K40fimPyCrPjWW4n5S2GTtDLBnbcO5Z22rM/edit?usp=sharingWebsite: www.phildelahaye.comInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/phildelahayeifs/FB page: https://www.facebook.com/phildelahayeifsSIRPA (Stress Illness Recovery Practitioners Association): https://www.sirpa.orgDisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It’s for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) - ⁠⁠www.therapywithalessio.com⁠⁠⁠Jude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) with the IFS Institute - ⁠⁠www.anchoredinself.co.uk⁠⁠Sound editing by Forbes Coleman

This week, Alessio and Jude explore the intersection of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and neurodivergence, as they ponder intriguing questions about the Self and neurodivergence. This is the third episode in their exploration of Self-energy, queerness and neurodivergence. With reference to Nick Walker's pioneering work on Neuroqueering, they navigate the shifting cultural and historical contexts of neurodiversity, offering listeners an understanding of what it means to embrace cognitive differences within societal norms.As we draw on the hardware-software analogy, where the body serves as hardware and the self and its parts as software, we delve into the nuanced relationship between neurocognitive functioning and personal identity. Referencing the perspectives of several different thinkers in the field, they challenge the scientific community's attempts to measure the intangible aspects of The Self. This conversation highlights the complexities of Self-energy as it weaves through gender identity, culture, ethnicity, and neurodivergence, raising questions about advocacy for neurodivergent selfhood. Connect with us as we continue to foster a community engaging with neuroqueer themes through workshops and projects. Our shared journey is one of curiosity and openness, encouraging listeners to appreciate diverse perspectives and question binary paradigms.DisclaimerThis podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It’s for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.Guest opinions are their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the hosts.ContactsAlessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) - ⁠www.therapywithalessio.com⁠⁠Jude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and an Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) with the IFS Institute - ⁠www.anchoredinself.co.uk⁠Sound editing by Forbes Coleman