17. The Hidden Cost of Being ‘Helpful’: Break Free from People-Pleasing at Work

Early bird enrollment is now open for the next cohort of Melody’s signature program RESILIENT! Save $500 for a limited time: https://melodywilding.com/resilient  Being the person everyone counts on sounds like a strength – until it's not. That constant drive to anticipate others’ needs, smooth over conflicts, and make sure everyone's happy isn't just exhausting – it's undermining your career growth. In this episode, Melody exposes the sophisticated survival strategy of people-pleasing at work, and why so many high-achievers struggle to break free from it. This episode offers concrete strategies to transform these patterns into deep confidence.

🚨 Early bird enrollment is now open for the next cohort of Melody’s signature program RESILIENT! Save $500 for a limited time: melodywilding.com/resilient  Work has a way of taking over our lives, especially when we're passionate about what we do. In this episode, we dive into the telltale signs you might be too emotionally invested in your job and what to do about it. From taking criticism personally to compulsively checking emails during family dinner, we explore why high achievers often struggle to maintain healthy boundaries with work.  You'll discover practical strategies to protect your well-being without dimming your drive, including how to create effective transitions between work and home life, handle feedback more objectively, and build an identity that exists beyond your job title.  ///// Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Get on the RESILIENT Waitlist Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Pre-order Melody's new book, Managing Up  

Do you often feel like you're experiencing work at a different level of intensity? Maybe you notice subtle dynamics others miss, need more time to process information, or feel overwhelmed by open offices and back-to-back meetings. If you've ever been told you're "quit taking things personally" or that you need to "toughen up" at work, this episode will be an eye-opener. Join Melody and licensed psychotherapist April Snow as they explore what it means to be a highly sensitive person (HSP) and driven in your career.    You’ll discover:    ▪️ The surprising advantages of being "too sensitive" at work ▪️ How to leverage your heightened awareness without burning out ▪️ The quick practice that can reset your overstimulated nervous system ▪️ How to frame your needs to bosses without seeming high-maintenance   About April Snow, LMFT April Snow, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and podcast host in California. She specializes in working with highly sensitive people to help calm the storm of overwhelm, anxiety, and self-doubt to allow their innate sensitive strengths to shine through. Find April's books, podcast, free workshops and other HSP resources at https://www.sensitivestrengths.com    —   Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Get on the RESILIENT Waitlist Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Pre-order Melody's new book, Managing Up  

Drawing from years of coaching experience, Melody breaks down why the end of the year is a crucial time for positioning yourself for success, but not in the ways you might think.  Melody also announces her upcoming "Promotion Playbook" masterclass, a three-day event December 4th-6th where she'll be sharing specific strategies for turning these insights into action. The masterclass is available as a bonus for those who pre-order her new book "Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge” at https://managingup.com. — Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Get on the RESILIENT Waitlist Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Pre-order Melody's new book, Managing Up

Are you tired of feeling emotionally drained at work? As a leader, you're not just managing your own feelings - you're absorbing your team's stress, navigating office politics, and trying to stay calm under constant pressure. It's exhausting, and sometimes it feels impossible to keep it all together. In this eye-opening episode, executive coach and author, Dina Denham Smith reveals the hidden emotional demands that leaders face and shares practical strategies to handle them. Drawing from her work with senior leaders at companies like Adobe, Netflix, and PWC, Dina breaks down how to: • Recognize your emotional triggers before they derail you • Stop absorbing everyone else's stress while still being supportive • Handle the pressure of "urgent" demands without burning out • Navigate difficult conversations with more confidence • Protect your own wellbeing while supporting your team About Dina:  Dina Denham Smith is an executive coach to senior leaders at world-leading brands such as Adobe, Netflix, PwC, Gap, and more. A former business executive herself, she is the founder and CEO of Cognitas Coaching and helps leaders and their teams reach new heights of success. She is the author of Emotionally Charged: How to Lead in the New World of Work (Oxford University Press, 2025). Learn more at https://www.dinadsmith.com/  — Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Pre-Order Melody’s New Book, MANAGING UP Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Get on the RESILIENT Waitlist

In this special episode, Melody shares exciting news three years in the making – her new book "Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge" is now available for pre-order. Grab your copy, plus over $300 of bonuses, at https://managingup.com  You’ll Discover:  ▪️ Why Melody completely rewrote the manuscript four times (and what finally made it click) ▪️ The surprising statistic about how much of your life you'll spend with your boss vs. your family ▪️ What makes this book totally different from typical "managing up" advice ▪️ Your "professional power position" and how it changes everything about your workplace influence ▪️ The ten game-changing conversations that can transform your relationship with those in charge  

Melody Wilding sits down with executive coach Nihar Chhaya to explore the challenges and opportunities of stepping into high-level leadership positions. Nihar, who has guided C-suite leaders at global giants like American Airlines and Lockheed Martin, shares insider strategies for decoding complex power dynamics, earning respect in a room full of heavyweights, and silencing self-doubt when the pressure's on. What You’ll Discover:  ▪️ How to decode complex corporate politics ▪️ Strategies for earning respect from colleagues and more powerful stakeholders ▪️ Ways to build trust and overcome resistance from team members who may feel threatened by your arrival ▪️ The balance between having a bias for action and avoiding hasty decisions ▪️ Tips for aspiring executives to prepare for future leadership roles   About Nihar Nihar Chhaya is an executive coach to CEOs and C-suite leaders at global companies, including American Airlines, Cox Enterprises, DraftKings, Fox Corporation, Lockheed Martin and more. As a former Fortune 200 corporate head of talent development and a senior advisor to the boards and CEOs of various companies on executive development, he is President of PartnerExec, helping executives master interpersonal savvy for superior business and strategic outcomes.  Nihar is a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review, Fast Company and Forbes on leadership.  He received an M.B.A. from the Wharton School, an M.A. in international economics from Columbia University and a B.S. in economics from Georgetown University with studies at the London School of Economics.  You can sign up for his free newsletter, Envision, at www.partnerexec.com/news  — Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Get on the RESILIENT Waitlist Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Pre-order Melody's new book, Managing Up

Are you constantly second-guessing every decision at work, agonizing over emails, or seeking endless input before taking action? If so, you're overanalyzing. In this eye-opening episode, Melody dives into the psychology behind this common habit and offers practical strategies to break free from its grip.  ▪️ The link between overanalyzing and three types of overthinking ▪️ A decision-making approach that can lead to better outcomes and increased happiness ▪️ How top executives and even the U.S. Navy leverage a often-overlooked mental skill for high-stakes decisions ▪️ A simple daily practice that can sharpen your decision-making skills ▪️ A powerful reframing technique that can instantly cut through mental clutter and clarify your choices  — Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Visit Melody’s Website to Learn More about Her Programs and Book   About the Psychology at Work Podcast Have you ever felt like you're the only one struggling with self-doubt at work? Maybe you’ve wondered why office politics seem so complicated or how some people seem to influence so effortlessly?  The secret is that every day at work, we're surrounded by psychological dynamics - internal and external. There's the voice in our head second-guessing our decisions, the subtle power plays in meetings, the unspoken expectations that shape our behavior and others. Yet most of us are dropped into our careers with zero insight into these invisible forces. That changes today. Welcome to Psychology at Work. I’m your host Melody Wilding, licensed social worker, human behavior professor, and author of two books: Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work and Managing Up: How to Get What You Need From the People in Charge. With a background as an emotion researcher, therapist, and after over 13 years of coaching thousands of executives and leaders across the world, there’s nothing I love more than helping emotionally intelligent people like you use superpower to make work better for themselves and everyone around them.  Because here’s the thing, technical skills will only get you so far in your career. It's mastering your own psychology and understanding that of others that will truly make or break your success.  

In today's episode, we're diving into the art and science of job crafting with organizational psychologist, Erin Shrimpton. We'll explore how small, intentional changes can transform your daily work experience from draining to energizing. Whether you're battling burnout, seeking more meaning in your role, or simply trying to navigate the ever-changing landscape of modern work, this conversation is packed with practical strategies to help you take control.   What You’ll Discover:  Why having too few demands at work can be just as harmful as having too many How to tap into "flow" states for increased productivity and job satisfaction How to "craft" your job without your boss even noticing   About Erin:  Erin is a Chartered Organizational Psychologist and expert in behavior change. She works as a coach, consultant and LinkedIn Learning Instructor – with an ambition to help people change their working lives for the better. Learn more at https://erinshrimpton.com/ — Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Visit Melody’s Website to Learn More about Her Programs and Book — About the Psychology at Work Podcast Have you ever felt like you're the only one struggling with self-doubt at work? Maybe you’ve wondered why office politics seem so complicated or how some people seem to influence so effortlessly?  The secret is that every day at work, we're surrounded by psychological dynamics - internal and external. There's the voice in our head second-guessing our decisions, the subtle power plays in meetings, the unspoken expectations that shape our behavior and others. Yet most of us are dropped into our careers with zero insight into these invisible forces. That changes today. Welcome to Psychology at Work. I’m your host Melody Wilding, licensed social worker, human behavior professor, and author of two books: Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work and Managing Up: How to Get What You Need From the People in Charge. With a background as an emotion researcher, therapist, and after over 13 years of coaching thousands of executives and leaders across the world, there’s nothing I love more than helping emotionally intelligent people like you use superpower to make work better for themselves and everyone around them.  Because here’s the thing, technical skills will only get you so far in your career. It's mastering your own psychology and understanding that of others that will truly make or break your success.

Do you say “I’m sorry” at work even when you don’t need to or mean it? In this episode, Melody explores why we over-apologize in the workplace and the negative impact it can have on our professional lives.  What You’ll Discover: ▪️ The surprising way your politeness might be sabotaging your career ▪️ The hidden psychology behind why we say "sorry" too much ▪️ A simple word swap that can instantly boost your confidence at work ▪️ Simple techniques to catch yourself – and stop – overapologizing  — Connect with Melody: FREE GUIDE: Steal These Scripts for Saying No at Work Follow Melody on Linkedin Follow Melody on Instagram  Visit Melody’s Website to Learn More about Her Programs and Book — About the Psychology at Work Podcast Have you ever felt like you're the only one struggling with self-doubt at work? Maybe you’ve wondered why office politics seem so complicated or how some people seem to influence so effortlessly?  The secret is that every day at work, we're surrounded by psychological dynamics - internal and external. There's the voice in our head second-guessing our decisions, the subtle power plays in meetings, the unspoken expectations that shape our behavior and others. Yet most of us are dropped into our careers with zero insight into these invisible forces. That changes today. Welcome to Psychology at Work. I’m your host Melody Wilding, licensed social worker, human behavior professor, and author of two books: Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work and Managing Up: How to Get What You Need From the People in Charge. With a background as an emotion researcher, therapist, and after over 13 years of coaching thousands of executives and leaders across the world, there’s nothing I love more than helping emotionally intelligent people like you use superpower to make work better for themselves and everyone around them.  Because here’s the thing, technical skills will only get you so far in your career. It's mastering your own psychology and understanding that of others that will truly make or break your success.