Make it Inevitable

“If you‘re unwilling to stand steady in discomfort, threshold moments, in times of transition and change, it is so easy to go the wrong way.” In this episode, I explore the disorienting but deeply transformative seasons when we’re standing between what is no longer aligned and what hasn’t yet taken shape. I talk about why some of the most consequential choices in our lives can look deceptively simple, and why the urge to move, fix, or figure everything out can sometimes pull us away from the work that’s actually happening beneath the surface. We get into the discomfort of not knowing, the growth we miss when we rush past it, and how to recognize when it’s time to take the next step. I also share why these liminal seasons ask us to slow down, trust the process, and allow what we’re moving through to shape who we’re becoming. What to listen for: How our field gets distorted and the many ways that misalign us Navigating “simple” choices that are really life-altering choice points Choosing to do nothing even when your circumstances tell you to move “When something is happening to us on a soul level, on a cellular level, neurologically, subconsciously, when we are reorienting, truly reorienting, you cannot do that work if you’re not willing to get uncomfortable.” The growth we rob ourselves of because we’re afraid of discomfort Liminal seasons are potent thresholds between “no longer” and “not yet” Why you can’t let sunk cost fallacy keep you attached to what’s misaligned “Sometimes, you have to sit in the burning discomfort of not knowing what’s next while also having a view of it. You have to be patient. You have to leave the lessons where they lie because you cannot rush the process.” Using discernment to know when to step forward from the threshold When your center of gravity shifts, everything in your life shifts with it Sometimes there’s more work to do before you can begin to move “We get to choose what to do when we shatter. And I will argue until the day I die that this is the time we are closest to everything we desire, but we never let ourselves get there because we can’t sit with discomfort. We can’t stand in the threshold for as long as is necessary.” Why the work in these moments is to slow down and stand steady Creating the space necessary to discern what your right next step is Growing through what you go through and letting it shape your purpose Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Follow Choose Your Calling for more content on Instagram. Grab a copy of my memoir, Unravel: Rising Up and Coming Back From a Season That Damn Near Killed Me. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“When you understand that their beliefs are deeply conditioned, it becomes easier to understand that their actions have absolutely nothing to do with you.” In this episode, I share how systems thinking has transformed the way I navigate my own health and healing journey, particularly after years of being dismissed and gaslit by the healthcare system and those in power within it. I explore how understanding the systems that shape us can help us recognize the conditioning and biases behind the harm we experience, without internalizing it as a reflection of our worth. Through sharing my experience, you’ll see why systems thinking creates more freedom and leverage in difficult situations, and how it can help us advocate for ourselves when the odds feel stacked against us. I also unpack why understanding systems is essential to creating meaningful change in our personal lives and in the world. If you’re bumping up against obstacles that feel frustratingly impossible to navigate, oryou’re being made to feel wrong for not getting traction, this episode is for you. What to listen for: How relationship trauma got me into thinking about systemic harm Why every human is a product of systems that both shaped and failed them Taking interpretation out of situations creates greater capacity in us “There still are times where I get really angry that I’m still being subjected to harm because of people who haven’t done their healing and growth work. And still, there’s less angst, upset, and anger because I understand that we’re all products of the systems that both shaped and failed us.” When we stop interpreting, we start understanding cause and effect How systems thinking made navigating medical gaslighting more easeful Balancing your emotional response with the systemic reality you’re facing “Story and interpretation won’t move you forward inside a system of harm. We have to be able to separate out what’s happening systemically so that we understand that it’s not actually personal. And this is difficult because it feels fucking personal.” Why it’s easy to lose your footing within systemic power dynamics Understanding that systemic harm isn’t personal, even when it feels like it Advocating for yourself inside a system that doesn’t care about helping you “When you’re not interpreting, frustrated, activated, triggered, or lost in your emotions and your stories about yourself, you have more freedom and leverage to move differently inside the issue, around the obstacles, and within the system.” Systems thinking gives you freedom and leverage to move differently Preparing for systemic obstacles creates preparedness, not bad outcomes How to start understanding systems and how they’re dictating your experience Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Follow Choose Your Calling for more content on Instagram. Listen to my first episode back, “When Healing Requires Getting Worse Before We Can Get Better,” to hear more about my health journey. Grab a copy of my memoir, Unravel: Rising up and Coming Back From a Season That Damn Near Killed Me. Read my in-depth article on Forward Compatibility for Personal Resiliency and Professional Relevance. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“What worked even a year ago, three years ago, five years ago, does not work anymore. The conditions have changed.” In this episode, I’m unpacking a reality many people are experiencing right now: a sense of failure or a feeling that things are no longer working the way they used to. Simply put, the conditions of our world, including the dominant systems and the reality they shape for us, have changed dramatically, and we’re only at the beginning of those changes. We’ll explore why there’s no hack for navigating a reality you’re unwilling to acknowledge, how trust is built by speaking to the lived experiences of the people you serve, and why forward compatibility requires more than new tactics or surface-level messaging. But this episode isn’t just for thought leaders; it’s for anyone who feels like they can’t get ahead. The conditions shaping our lives and businesses have changed, and many of us are still trying to succeed as though we’re operating in the same world we were in a few years ago. Whether you want to create meaningful transformation in your work or thrive in the world we’re moving into, this conversation is for you. What to listen for: The greater context shift that most individuals and leaders are missing None of these effects are new; they’re just becoming more apparent Why we’re only at the beginning of the conditions changing “All of these systemic effects are infiltrating literally every person’s life. If you’re not aware of that because you don’t want to think about systems, you are setting yourself up for failure.” There is no ‘hack’ to get around the realities all we’re living through Why you’re playing a game that’s designed to keep you from winning You have to speak to the reality of these times if you want to build trust “You might have achieved some incredible results for the clients and customers that you serve and work with, but we don’t live in that reality anymore. The conversations cannot be simple. They cannot be surface level. They have to be rooted in the reality of these times.” What’s happening globally is 100% related to why you’re struggling Trust comes from speaking to your audience’s real, lived experience Forward compatibility is the strategy, and it’s impossible to fake “If you’re not willing to get uncomfortable, if you’re not willing to expand your capacity for what’s hard and what hurts, to open your eyes, to shift your worldview, to release your subconscious winning strategy which keeps you hooked into playing these systemic games, failure is inevitable.” Systems are responsible for the majority of harm, but we still have a role Why we can’t create transformation without a systems-thinking lens How to start understanding where the conditions have changed Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Listen to the episode on “If You Don’t Invert the Fear, Then Nothing Will Ever Truly Change.” Listen to the episode on “The ‘But’ That’s Keeping What You Want Perpetually Out of Reach.” Read my in-depth article on Forward Compatibility for Personal Resiliency and Professional Relevance. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“You can have the things you want, but you have to be willing to do the work and get deeply uncomfortable at times.” In this episode, I’m getting into the number-one unconscious lie I hear people tell in healing, growth, and business-building work, and how the ‘but’ that accompanies it keeps them stuck exactly where they’ve always been. Because most of the time, the thing standing between us and what we want isn’t that we don’t know what to do; it’s that there’s something we’re unwilling to feel, face, risk, or change in order to do it. And because our brains are incredibly good at protecting us from discomfort, they can make avoidance look like discernment, logic, timing, or even practicality. The result is that we can spend years believing we’re waiting for the right strategy, circumstance, opportunity, or version of ourselves, when what we’re actually doing is protecting ourselves from the very discomfort that would move us forward. If you believe you’d do anything for what you desire yet continue to see no results, and you’re ready to understand what’s happening internally that repeatedly holds you back, this episode is for you. Reach out to book a coaching consultation with me here. Join me for our upcoming workshops here! What to listen for: The lie we tell when we say we’d do anything for the things we want Our subconscious attachment to staying in the known and familiar How our brains skillfully cover up our avoidance of discomfort “Because our brains are so crafty at avoidance of the things that scare us, they will cause a feeling that we’ve learned over decades how to very skillfully navigate our way around and away from. And we’ll be so sure that we are making perfect, logical, reasonable sense in that moment.” You have to want the things you want more than you fear discomfort The best ‘strategy’ and ‘tactic’ for success is often the work you avoid We often can’t see the block because it’s wrapped up in our worldview “When we feel like we’re self-sabotaging, when we feel like we’re just looping through the same thing over and over again, that means there is something internal that we need to work on.” Ongoing incremental change only takes us so far before we hit a wall Acknowledging the reasons we’re not yet a match for the things that we desire Why our stories and interpretations are the key to breaking free of our blocks “Uncovering your story is powerful because if you can slow down and notice it and sit with the story, then you can actually work on it.” How this ‘but’ is limiting thought leaders from succeeding in their work Uncovering the next step to create alignment with what you desire The information that’s revealed when we’re honest with ourselves Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Reach out to book a coaching consultation with me here. Join me in my upcoming workshops on building personal capacity, transmuting what’s hard and what hurts, and becoming a forward-compatible leader by registering here. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“If we don’t understand how insidious those systems and their beliefs have become to our worldview, it is going to be impossible to break free.” In this episode, I’m digging into how our worldviews are formed in our first 5-7 years, why certain beliefs hold them together for decades, and how they limit the parts of ourselves we can express. I share a powerful realization about the patriarchal, shame-based universe I believed I lived in, and what became possible when I questioned whether a completely different reality might exist. We’ll talk about why meaningful transformation requires more than dabbling in personal growth, how to recognize the deeper patterns beneath our blocks, and why the support we need changes as we reach new growth edges. Because when our worldview shifts, it reorganizes how we see ourselves, relate to others, and move through the world. And as leaders, doing this deeper, uncomfortable work is part of creating the kind of transformation we want to see. In short, this episode helps you start answering the question: what if the beliefs shaping your entire worldview are also the very things keeping you trapped? Join me for our upcoming workshops here! What to listen for: Why our worldview is narrow by nature and locked in by the ages of 5-7 The parts of us that are held hostage by our limiting beliefs and worldviews Moving through the fear of showing up with all parts fully expressed “There are layers to this work, and there are these beliefs that we hold that are the key to unlocking the cage that we have been inside of since we were children.” The reason certain beliefs are the linchpin holding our worldviews together Pulling your blocks out by the roots doesn’t happen by dabbling in the work When we hit new growth edges, we need different support and resources “Of course, I feel like I’m held to a higher standard if I believe that I live in a patriarchal, masculine, shame-based, punishment-based, guilt-based, purity-based universe. And when that hit me, I was then able to ask the question of, ‘What if I live in a matriarchal, feminine universe that wants me to be slutty, fiery, and disruptive?’” Discovering the roots of my worldview that kept me from leveling up These blocked parts of us affect and limit every aspect of our lives As leaders, it is our job to do this deeper, uncomfortable work first “When our worldview changes, it completely reorganizes every single thing inside of us and externally. Because when things change inside of us, the way we orient to the world is completely different.” We can only step so far outside of our worldview before we snap back Getting the support we need to see the pattern beneath the pattern Systems thinking is crucial to creating true transformation Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Grab a copy of my book, What Really Happened?, or contact us for a free ebook copy here. Listen to the “Understanding Your Subconscious Winning Strategy and How It Blocks You” episode. Join me in my upcoming workshops on building personal capacity, transmuting what’s hard and what hurts, and becoming a forward-compatible leader by registering here. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“Capacity breeds hope because it creates space, allowing us to see things differently. And it starts with feeling your feelings.” What do we do when the world feels overwhelming and increasingly difficult to make sense of? When everything coming at us makes our nervous system want to shut down, leading us to numb out or scroll away? In this episode, I’m talking about how to have and cultivate hope when it feels like the world is ending, and why hope starts with something much more personal than optimism. It starts with building our capacity to feel our feelings without immediately turning them into stories that send us spiraling. We’ll talk about how to separate what’s actually happening from the interpretations we layer onto it, how to transmute fear, anger, grief, and overwhelm into action, and why understanding systems can help us see possibility where we once saw only chaos and uncertainty. You don’t have to solve everything. You have to find what matters most to you, build the capacity to stay present with it, and take the next step that’s within your reach. Join me for our upcoming workshops here! What to listen for: Constantly saying “we’re cooked” is a symptom of lacking personal capacity Why so many are struggling to simply bear witness to what’s happening The first part of having and cultivating hope is feeling your feelings “The way that we have been operating in the world and the way that we have been consuming and creating content has been detrimental to our brains and our personal capacity.” Even if circumstances are hard, there are simple ways to build capacity Small adjustments in capacity build day over day, week over week Understanding that the stories you tell keep limiting you “It’s not that we become immune to stress, but when you notice the stories, that’s what spins us out. The story is where we go wrong because the story is not true.” A simple practice anyone can incorporate to expand their personal capacity What you don’t feel doesn’t disappear; it gets stored in your body Transmuting our emotions into productive, meaningful actions “We don’t skip our feelings and just move into action. We feel our feelings because our feelings have information. They tell us what we care about. They tell us what we’re scared about. They tell us what is unjust and not right in the world.” The more of us that show up and act, the more likely things are to change You don’t have to solve everything; just focus on what’s heavy on your heart How understanding systems helps us feel more hopeful and in control Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Text ResistBot to start taking action on what you care about. Grab a copy of my book, What Really Happened?, or contact us for a free ebook copy here. Listen to the “Working With Our Emotions and Dropping Through the Void” episode. Read our article on Forward Compatibility for Personal Resiliency and Professional Relevance. Join me in my upcoming workshops on building personal capacity, transmuting what’s hard and what hurts, and becoming a forward-compatible leader by registering here. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“Both fears are there. Both fears come with risk. So why would I not risk in the direction of the things that I desire?” In this episode, I’m digging into the reality that if we’re unwilling to feel our emotions and expand our personal capacity, nothing ever changes. And one of the primary reasons we don’t do this work as humans is our subconscious winning strategy and a deep fear of the unknown. We fear what we’ll uncover, what we stand to lose, and what will change in our lives that we don’t feel prepared for, while simultaneously fearing that we’ll never actualize our fullest expression. This is why learning how to invert the fear is essential if we want to experience true transformation. And from personal experience, I can promise you that what’s on the other side of this work (and, at times, the losses and uncomfortable changes) is worth every bit of grief you may have to face. But you’ll never know if you’re not willing to lean in, so why not start now? Join me for our upcoming workshops here! Grab our free workbook, Stop Self-Sabotage and Navigate the Terror Barrier, here. What to listen for: The fear of doing the work is a very human fear of the unknown and loss Why our subconscious mind resists the changes we consciously desire Painful experiences become comfortable because they’re familiar “The fall is not the hard part. The rock bottom is not the hard part. It feels that way because it’s devastating, painful, difficult, and unbelievably disorienting, but it is not the hard part. The hard part is choosing to rise up and come back.” The fear will always be there, no matter how much you’ve healed and grown You can’t fear the unknown more than you fear staying stuck or small Risking in the direction of the things you desire, rather than “comfort” “When you pull at the string of your subconscious winning strategy, it starts unraveling a lot, and that’s really hard, but it’s also really beautiful and really freeing.” Why changing my way of being led to losing my entire community Coming home to yourself and your truth sometimes leads to less grief Deconditioning work is essential for living your fullest expression “I feel more fully expressed than I ever have in my life after doing all of this work. I wouldn’t trade it to keep anything that I was afraid of losing that I did lose. Not a single thing. That doesn’t mean I didn’t grieve it, but I wouldn’t trade it.” Even if expansive moments catalyze our transformation, there will be discomfort Why your subconscious won’t allow you to make necessary decisions The emotions you’re avoiding are what’s keeping you stuck Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Grab your copy of my memoir, Unravel. Learn more about Journey Mapping and join the waitlist. Listen to the “Understanding Your Subconscious Winning Strategy and How It Blocks You” episode. Listen to the “The Methodology for Making the ‘Impossible’ Inevitable” episode. Grab our free workbook, Stop Self-Sabotage and Navigate the Terror Barrier, here. Join me in my upcoming workshops on building personal capacity, transmuting what’s hard and what hurts, and becoming a forward-compatible leader by registering here. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“We all have an area of our life, at least one, where it’s harder for us to show up fully, where it’s more difficult for us to be open and to go all in on things and to take risks.” In this episode, I’m sharing the deeply personal work that allowed me to finally go all-in on a romantic relationship, confront the fear and distrust I carried for years, and become earned-secure after a lifetime of insecure attachment. I talk about what it means to thoroughly process old trauma, why healing requires us to clear out what we’ve been carrying for decades, and how the freedom that comes from doing this work can change what feels possible in our lives. I also share what it meant to have a relationship blow up in my face and walk away without being retraumatized, along with a conversation about the places where emotional intelligence can become another label that keeps us from seeing ourselves clearly. And while I’m speaking about my relationship as an example, these lessons apply to every area of our lives where we feel fear and resistance, or keep creating the same outcomes. Join me for our upcoming workshops here! What to listen for: Why it took me decades to finally go all-in on a romantic relationship Recognizing my lingering trauma and processing aggressively to clear it  The freedom and leverage that comes from the work is worth the discomfort “I had to ask for and receive support, and so I was forced to confront a lot of that deep fear and distrust. And doing my work around it, I really started to feel safe around men.” It wasn’t just the person allowing me to go all-in; it was me and my work Becoming earned-secure despite decades of being insecurely attached Healing is like cleaning the lint trap; if you don’t do it, it can cost you everything “We keep continuing with these coping mechanisms, and these fears and these ways of being that keep us stuck at a certain level in that area of our life. And what process work does is it starts to remove those layers.” Walking away untraumatized despite it completely “blowing up in my face” New lessons can’t be learned if we never clear out what’s old and stored If something feels perpetually out of reach, there’s work for us to do “If something feels perpetually out of reach or impossible to you, that’s your clue. That’s the tell that something in you is making it so. Seeing this requires discernment because we’re not discounting systemic obstacles and limitations.” Identifying the area of your life that needs deeper healing and growth work “Not doing enough” doesn’t mean anything bad about you as a person Where we go wrong with labeling ourselves emotionally intelligent Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Grab your copy of my memoir, Unravel. Listen to the “Somatics of Receiving” episode. Listen to the “Strategies to Stop Self-Sabotage and Live a Life Without Limits” episode. Join me in my upcoming workshops on building personal capacity, transmuting what’s hard and what hurts, and becoming a forward-compatible leader by registering here. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“I didn’t want to go back to old ways of being where I acted out of fear and scarcity; I wanted this to be a period where I finally, truly set my entire life and my work on a completely new trajectory.” In this episode, I’m sharing what the last few years have actually been like, from discovering what was keeping me sick and learning how to treat it myself, to trying to heal while inside a relationship that was burning me out, to finally reaching the point I’m at now where I can feel myself, my intuition, and my capacity coming back online. I’m also talking about the grief of losing a relationship I thought would go the distance, realizing just how much the past few years cost me, and what happened when I finally stopped pushing and let myself rest and process. Because the truth is, doing the deeper work isn’t necessarily about doing more and forcing change. Oftentimes, it’s about creating the capacity to actually align with and receive what you’re working towards, and learning to trust in the inevitable unravelings along the way. Be sure to check out and register for my upcoming workshops! What to listen for: Where I’ve been and why healing sometimes requires feeling worse first Discovering what was keeping me sick, and learning to heal myself Navigating life while feeling barely alive or even a part of reality “It took two years of every other day injections to get to where I am now, and it got worse before it got better. Every single thing I’ve done to heal since I hemorrhaged, to heal on a physical level, has made me worse before I got better.” Trying to heal my body while being in a relationship that burned me out When your body crashes systemically, it takes time for it to really heal The joy of feeling myself and my intuition again after years “The clouds didn’t just part, and the light didn’t just come back. I had to really sit with the grief of the relationship ending as well as the last three years being what they were and everything that they cost me.” The toll it takes when we don’t have the space to rest in challenging times Realizing that what I built while sick and compressed was misaligned Surrendering to trust rather than moving from fear and scarcity “I just let it sit, and I’m so glad that I did because I really needed to stop pushing, to just sit and be with my feelings, be with my grief, process all of the things that were coming up.” Sinking into trust and choosing to make this period a real turning point Why personal capacity is crucial to creating change, and what it takes to grow it Doing the deeper healing work to create more freedom and leverage Episode resources: Connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn. Join me in my upcoming workshops on building personal capacity, transmuting what’s hard and what hurts, and becoming a forward-compatible leader by registering here. Read my in-depth article on Forward Compatibility for Personal Resiliency and Professional Relevance. About your host: Stephenie Zamora is the Founder and Head Change Agent at Choose Your Calling, a new revolution in purpose, contribution, and creative solutions for systemic and social justice issues. She’s a Forward Compatibility Consultant and Mentor who has worked for the past two decades at the intersection of purpose, business, and systemic change, helping individuals, thought leaders, and organizations design lives and businesses that actually hold up in the world we’re moving into. Through her mentorship and consulting work, she partners with founders, social innovators, and visionaries who are designing bodies of work that disrupt systems of harm while actively building what the world needs next. Learn more at www.chooseyourcalling.com.

“When we take ownership, we remember that we have a lot of choices and control, though they’re not always easy choices.” In this episode, I’m digging into the concept of cause and effect and how we bridge the gap between blame and acknowledgment to create different outcomes for ourselves. Blame is a tempting reaction to experiences that don’t feel good or results that are far from what we desired or intended, but this way of being keeps us at the mercy of everything and everyone else, never able to take full ownership of our lives to make the impossible inevitable. When we truly understand cause and effect, we’re able to gain invaluable insights and make entirely different choices, but we can’t do that when we’re getting lost in our interpretations, triggering our subconscious winning strategy and spiraling ourselves in an unproductive direction. If you struggle with blame (either towards others or yourself), this episode is for you. Grab our classic worksheet, The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question. Listen to our episode on identifying your subconscious winning strategy. Read our book, What Really Happened?, to break free from interpretations and start making the seemingly impossible happen. What to listen for: What is blame, and how is it detrimental? How our childhood traumas condition us to blame Expansive vs. contractive consequences The stories we tell when we get “in trouble” The nine words that will forever transform your life “For everything that’s not abuse, we’re looking at the conditions that allowed this outcome to occur, these effects to be caused, these consequences to happen as a result of other things happening. We’re looking at the circumstances of the container, the situation that allowed this to come to be, and we’re trying to find our role inside of that. Not to make ourselves feel like a piece of crap, not to blame and beat ourselves up, but to take ownership.” How we take ownership of things outside our control The power of living from a solutions-oriented mindset Why we must stop blaming ourselves and others Reflecting on the cause vs. dropping into blame “It’s not blame when we acknowledge the cause and effect of things. And if we’re so afraid to acknowledge cause and effect because we think it means blaming ourselves or other people, it’s really hard for us to start to do the intellectual work of healing and making sense of our experiences and how we feel about them, and then pairing that with the processing work.” Examples of cause and effect and its consequences in my business Cause and effect doesn’t mean we stop feeling our feelings Blame takes away our ability to heal Questions to ask yourself to integrate this work