How to Love your Enemies - A Conversation with Andrew Hanauer

This week, we’re honored to welcome Arthur Brooks to the podcast. Arthur is a renowned social scientist, Harvard professor, and bestselling author, and we’re excited to talk with him about his latest book, Build the Life You Want, which he co-authored with Oprah Winfrey.In our conversation, Arthur offers some profound insights on happiness, emphasizing that though genetics and circumstances influence our baseline, we have significant agency over our happiness. It's a skill we can practice and improve. He says that happiness isn’t about avoiding suffering and he shares how negative emotions can actually serve as signals that help us grow.This episode is full of advice for creating a life of enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. and lots of practical tips for exactly what to do when you are feeling overwhelmed by negative feelings. We’re so grateful to Arthur for joining us. We think you’ll find his insights on happiness and purpose inspiring and practical. So with that, let’s jump into our conversation with Arthur Brooks.

In today’s episode, we’re talking with Dr. Jennifer Thomas, co-authored with Gary Chapman of The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships. Dr. Thomas's work builds on the framework of the 5 Love Languages and offers a profound new lens for how we give and receive apologies. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve said “I’m sorry” but it didn’t quite land, or if you’ve been on the receiving end of an apology that didn’t feel satisfying, this conversation is going to hit home.In this discussion Dr. Thomas talks about how often an apology can go unheard or feel insincere—not because you don’t mean it, but because you’re not speaking the other person’s “apology language.”Just like love, apologies aren’t one-size-fits-all. Her work work explores the psychology behind why some apologies fail to resonate, even when they seem heartfelt. Through extensive research, she and her co-author, Dr. Gary Chapman, identified five distinct “apology languages,” Each reflecting different emotional and cognitive needs that may need to be addressed for an apology to be effective. This episode is full of practical advice on how to express a heartfelt apology that truly communicates "I'm sorry" in a way that others can receive and feel. It will help you recognize what you need. These tools and insights will provide a powerful path restoring connection and healing relationships.We’re so excited to share this conversation with you, and we hope it sparks some of the same deep insights it did for us. And with that, let’s jump into our conversation with Dr. Jennifer Thomas.

This week, we’re sharing a beautiful and timely conversation between Faith Matters’ executive director Zach Davis and Andrew Hanauer, the founder and CEO of the One America Movement, an organization that helps faith leaders fight toxic polarization. In this conversation, Andrew and Zach discuss the causes behind the rise in polarization, the way political tribalism can become a false idol, and the imperative of truly following Jesus’ call to “love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Andrew encourages us to see that our calling as disciples of Jesus is to follow his example and transform conflict through love.We hope you enjoy this episode and with that, we’ll hand it over to Zach. 

For today’s episode, we’re bringing you another powerful moment from our Restore gathering. Eboo Patel joined us to explore a compelling and deeply hopeful vision for what it means to build a loving, spiritually rich community where different faiths come together to form the foundation of a stronger, more united whole. Eboo challenges us to live our faiths in ways that not only elevate ourselves but lift others, creating bonds that bridge divides and bring healing to our world.Eboo, an Ismaili Muslim, is the founder and president of Interfaith America, an organization dedicated to fostering cooperation across religious traditions.Drawing on decades of experience and inspired by President Russell M. Nelson’s call for peacemaking, Eboo invites us to see how our diverse spiritual practices can serve as bridges, connecting us in powerful and meaningful ways. He shares that peacemaking is both a choice and a skill, requiring us to engage deeply and intentionally with one another.Using the beautiful metaphor of a potluck dinner, he reminds us: "Do not hide your light. Do not stop bringing your distinctive dish to the table. A potluck is a place where everyone’s contributions matter." This episode is about how we can actively build relationships, cooperate across differences, and create something richer together than any of us could alone. Faith Matters intends to be more and more at the center of these kinds of interfaith collaborations. We hope this conversation inspires you to reflect on your own role in creating a compassionate, connected community. And with that, we’ll pass it over to Eboo Patel at Restore.

We have decided to share with you  2-3 sessions from our recent Restore gathering to give you a taste of what took place during this amazing weekend. Last week we shared Joseph Grenny’s incredible message. It was an instant classic. . Today, we’re honored to bring you another really special moment from Restore. In a powerful, unflinching, and faithful presentation, our friend and community leader Neylan McBaine addressed an “elephant in the room” that so often goes unnamed: our experience with patriarchy in our faith communities. We think it’s important to note that many members don’t necessarily experience patriarchy as a big problem, but many do, so our hope is that what Neylan shares here can offer new understanding and illustrate the frustration and pain that many women, perhaps especially younger women, experience in our patriarchal church organization. In 2014, Neylan published her book Women at Church. In this address, she looks back at the decade since the book’s release and explores the tension between the way many women experience Church and a deep commitment to our faith and community. It’s an invitation to wrestle with complexity, to hold space for discomfort, and explore how we can do better in bringing womens gifts more fully into the body of Christ.We also want to mention that there is a part 2 of this conversation where Neylan is joined by therapist and podcaster Valerie Hamaker. Valerie offered insights into the empowering inner work of differentiation—how women can hold on to our spiritual authority while also staying engaged in the community we love. It's the practical application part of this session. That part two will be available as part of the digital access to Restore which you still can get digital tickets to at faithmatters.org/restore. As always, we encourage you to watch these episodes on the Faith Matters Youtube channel to get the full experience. Make sure to go to youtube and subscribe. We truly hope you find as much wisdom and inspiration in this conversation as we did. And with that, we’ll hand it over to Neylan McBaine at Restore.

This week, we’re going to share what we think was an “instant classic” from last week’s Restore Gathering; a deeply personal and thought-provoking message about family, faith, and the complexity of life from Joseph Grenny, author of Crucial Conversations and co-founder of many organizations, including The Other Side Academy, Drawing from his own experience with his own “messy” family, Joseph speaks openly about moments of despair, including the heartache of watching loved ones, including his own children, struggle with addiction, estrangement, and other crises.But at the heart of his message is a radical idea: that the phrase "All is well" can be true even in the face of chaos and imperfection. He challenges the traditional "brochure" image of family success, reminding us that not even the families in our sacred texts had it all together. Through powerful stories of redemption, both from his own family and the lives transformed at The Other Side Academy, Joseph encourages us to rethink what it means to succeed as families, and to embrace waiting as part of God’s divine work.We think this conversation will resonate deeply with anyone who has felt the pain of seeing a loved one struggle, and we hope it offers both comfort and inspiration. We loved seeing many of you at Restore and wanted to give a little taste of it to those that weren’t able to attend. So with that, we’ll pass it over to Joseph Grenny.

Today is the start of this year’s Restore! We look forward to seeing those of you who are attending! This week we’re departing from our normal format and sharing a recent conversation of the MormonLand podcast, between the Salt Lake Tribune’s Peggy Fletcher Stack and David Noyce and our executive director, Zach Davis. The conversation focused on the origin and vision of Faith Matters, the questions we are wrestling with, and what to expect at this year’s Restore. We think you’re really going to enjoy this conversation and with that we’ll hand things over to Peggy, David and Zach.

This week, we’re sitting down with our good friend Patrick Mason for a conversation that is as deeply challenging. Patrick recently returned from a transformative trip to Rwanda, where he was confronted with the enduring impact of the 1994 genocide. In our discussion, Patrick shares his reflections on witnessing both the unimaginable horrors of the past and the remarkable steps toward reconciliation and peace that are happening today.We also dive into the hard questions: Where is God in the midst of such suffering? How can communities possibly recover from such deep wounds? And how do we respond to scripture that seems to contradict our understanding of a loving God? Patrick draws on his experience as a peacebuilder, scholar, and a person of faith to address these issues, and we explore how the lessons from Rwanda resonate with us here and now in conflicts within our own communities.This conversation is a compelling reminder that each of us has the power to create real change in our own communities, and it urges us to confront the urgent need for peacebuilding in a world increasingly divided. Lastly, we’re thrilled to share that Patrick will be speaking at the upcoming Restore conference along with his co-host for the Proclaim Peace Podcast, Jennifer Walker Thomas. You can get your tickets at faithmatters.org/restore to join us on September 5-7th. And with that, we'll jump right in. I also wanted to mention that Patrick wrote about his experience in Rwanda for the Faith Matters magazine, Wayfare. You can go to wayfaremagazine.org to subscribe. And with that we'll jump right in.

This week, we’re thrilled to be joined by our friend, David Butler. You may know David from his incredible podcast, Don’t Miss This, where he and Grace Freeman dive deeply into the scriptures with an infectious joy and thoughtful insights. We’re so excited to have David here in the studio, and even more excited that he’ll be joining us at Restore in just a few weeks.In this conversation, David helps us explore one of the biggest faith questions: what is the nature of God? So many of us have experienced moments of discomfort or confusion when encountering challenging or unsettling stories in scripture. David introduces us to what he calls "cross vision"—a way of reading scripture that filters everything through the lens of Jesus on the cross, which David sees as the ultimate expression of God's love and character. He uses this as a guiding principle, his "measuring stick," to interpret difficult or troubling passages. When a story seems to contradict the image of a loving, self-sacrificing God, David explains, with heartfelt vulnerability, how and why he feels empowered to question and wrestle with those narratives.He also opens up about the experiences that have shaped his faith and the ways that engaging with other religious traditions has opened his eyes to new dimensions of God’s love and presence in the world. (By the way, David has a super fascinating course available on don'tmissthisstudy.com called Holy Envy that I highly recommend if this topic interests you!)Whether you're wrestling with tough questions about faith or looking for new ways to see God in our holy books, we think this episode will give you some powerful insights. If you want to see David Butler live this year at Restore, go to faithmatters.org/Restore for tickets. And with that, we'll jump right in. 

Today, we’re thrilled to welcome Mallory Everton–a comedian, actor, and writer–and Diana Brown–the new Associate Director for Faith Matters, to the podcast. We’re diving into a conversation that’s often overlooked but so important—being single in the church. Diana and Mallory are launching a new podcast on the Faith Matters Podcast Network called The Soloists, where they’ll be talking about singleness and relationships, and what it's like trying to form families in today’s cultural and technological environment and we couldn’t be more excited to celebrate it with them.In this episode, we explore why they’ve dedicated so much energy to this project. As they discuss, being single can be an isolating experience, especially in a culture that often views marriage as the ultimate milestone. Diana and Mallory share deeply personal stories about what it’s like to navigate a church community where singleness sometimes feels like a problem to be solved rather than a valid and whole way of being, and season or situation of life that all of us, no matter our marital status, can authentically relate to in some way.They also challenge us to rethink our assumptions about singleness. They point out that being single isn’t just a transitory state—it’s a real and meaningful part of life for so many people; more than half of the adult members of the church, in fact, according to Elder Gong in '21. We discuss how important it is to move beyond the idea that marriage is the only path to fulfillment and how embracing singleness can lead to profound spiritual growth.Diana and Mallory bring a wealth of wisdom to this conversation, and their insights will resonate with anyone who’s felt the pressure to fit into a specific life narrative. This episode is a powerful reminder that each of us is on a unique journey, and that there’s deep value in every stage of life, whether single, married, or somewhere in between.Also, we are excited to be hosting Mallory and Diana at Restore this year! They’ll be speaking about the unique spiritual gifts that singles bring to the body of Christ. Restore will be held September 5-7 at the Mt. America Expo Center in Sandy, Utah and this year for the first time, we'll also be offering a streaming option if you won’t be able to attend in person and would like to purchase a ticket to attend virtually. You can buy your tickets at faithmatters.org/restore. We hope this conversation encourages you to see singleness—and all life paths—with fresh eyes. And with that, we’ll jump right into our discussion with Diana and Mallory.