EBD250 How Reward-Based Obedience Training Damages Trust In Your Relationship with Your Dog

In this episode of Enlightened by Dogs, we explore the topic of understanding and navigating the sensitivities, preferences and quirks that affect our daily lives with our dogs.   Here’s what we unpack in today’s episode: Understanding Mindset: We begin by exploring what a mindset is and how it influences our interactions with the world and our dogs. Your beliefs and perspectives can significantly impact the success of your relationship with your dog. Exploring Our Sensitivities: I invite you to think about your own sensitivities. Whether it's loud noises or crowded spaces, recognizing your own needs helps you empathize with your dog's sensitivities to their environment. Empathy and Acceptance: How do we make simple adjustments to accommodate our personal sensitivities, and what happens when these are either dismissed or accepted by others? This understanding is crucial in fostering a nurturing relationship with our dogs, who also experience their own set of sensitivities. The Social Nature of Dogs and Humans: Highlighting the similarities between humans and dogs as social animals, and we discuss how our relationships can flourish when we acknowledge and respect each other’s sensitivities. Practical Tips for Managing Sensitivity: I share four very simple, yet very effective strategies for creating a supportive and safe environment for your sensitive dog. From ensuring safety to enhancing connection, these tips are designed to help you and your dog lead a happier, more connected life. As always, your thoughts and experiences are invaluable to our community. Share this episode, leave a review, and join the conversation to help spread awareness about compassionate living with our dogs.   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/  

In this episode, we journeyed further into the heart of understanding the unintended consequences of avoiding triggers and how such actions can inadvertently escalate reactivity in our dogs.    Be sure to listen to part 1: EBD301  “Shrinking Worlds, Growing Reactivity: Why Avoiding Triggers Backfires.”   One of the insights from this discussion is that trust is not transactional, and we can’t buy trust from our dogs at any price. Instead, trust is earned through consistent, reliable actions that demonstrate to our dogs that they are safe with us and can rely on us to navigate the world around them.   With a focus on fostering trust and safety, we delved into why genuine connection, rather than distraction, is key to a harmonious life with our four-legged friends.   Key Takeaways from the Episode:   Trust Cannot Be Bought: One of the most profound insights from our discussion is the reminder that trust is not transactional.    The Problem with Avoiding Triggers: We examined how avoiding triggers—although well-intentioned—sends a message to our dogs that the world is a place to be feared.    Being Congruent: When our actions, feelings, and intentions are aligned, we foster an environment of trust and safety with our dogs.    The Power of Connection: Central to our discussion was the idea that a strong, secure connection with our dogs is the foundation upon which all else is built.    LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/

Recently, I've had the joy of exploring the often challenging terrain of reactivity in dogs, peeling back the layers to understand the underlying causes that sweep us and our canine companions into this whirlwind. It's been an enlightening journey, especially during my "Growing Together from Reactive to Remarkable" workshop, where we shared breakthroughs as dedicated dog moms.   In our latest episode, we've ventured into a topic that's both pivotal and potentially mind-bending: the counterintuitive truth about avoiding triggers. Yes, you've heard me champion the cause of green zone experiences, crafting a world of safety, calm, and happiness for our dogs. Yet, there's a pervasive misunderstanding that I’ve been eager to clear up.   We dived into why avoiding triggers isn't the panacea we might think it is. Here's the essence of what we uncovered:   Responsibility and Safety: The bedrock of our partnership with our dogs lies in creating a safe haven, a bubble where our dogs feel secure and unbothered by external stressors. This involves being proactive rather than reactive, focusing on the things within our control — our thoughts, our intentions, and our connection with our dog.   Circle of Influence vs. Circle of Concern: Imagine two circles; one gold, symbolizing our sphere of influence (where connection, trust, and safety lie), and one blue, representing external factors (potential triggers) beyond our control. The key is to expand the gold circle, empowering ourselves and our dogs to navigate the world with confidence and calm.   Reactivity and Protection Mode: Reactivity isn't just about our dogs responding to external stimuli; it's a signal that we've ventured beyond our current capacity for connection and calm. Recognizing this allows us to recalibrate and strengthen our partnership muscles, ensuring we're both equipped to handle life's surprises.   Avoiding Triggers – A Misstep: Here's where the plot thickens. Steering clear of potential triggers might seem like a sensible strategy, but it's a misguided one. Avoidance can actually shrink our world, limiting the rich experiences and joys of life with our dogs. Instead, we're invited to focus on making it easy to have connected adventures often!   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/  

This episode unfolds a compassionate and insightful exploration into what reactivity in dogs truly means, advocating for a profound shift in our understanding and response to it.    Kathy introduces listeners to a reimagined definition of reactivity, rooted in the complexities of canine communication and the frequent misunderstandings that arise when these communications go unheard or unheeded.    It challenges the common definition of reactivity—behavior that is inappropriately out of proportion to a situation—by suggesting that what is often seen as reactive behavior is actually a sign of high intelligence, sensitivity, and confusion in dogs.  Key Takeaways:   Kathy challenges traditional views on reactivity, advocating for a definition that acknowledges it as a complex expression of unmet needs and emotions, rather than a straightforward behavioral issue to be trained away. The profound connection we have with our dogs is the very thing that pulls us both into the Reactivity Spiral.  A shift from a one-size-fits-all obedience training approach to a more compassionate, understanding method that nurtures each dog's unique potential. The episode discusses why some dogs are reactive and others are not, pointing out that differences in individual sensitivities, needs, and upbringing can lead to varying behaviors.    LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/  

In this episode Kathy explores the nuanced communication between dog moms and their dogs, emphasizing the importance of understanding and reframing our perceptions of our dogs' behaviors.    Kathy shares the idea that behaviors we often interpret as disobedience or refusal are actually our dogs communicating their unmet needs. She advocates for a shift from correction to connection, suggesting that listening and engaging in a dialogue with our dogs can lead to a deeper understanding and a more harmonious relationship. Kathy offers practical advice on becoming a guide for our dogs by establishing clear, kind communication and developing a lifestyle that fosters mutual respect and understanding.   Key takeaways from this episode include:   Reframing Perception: Viewing behaviors not as defiance but as communication of unmet needs. Building Connection: Focusing on creating a circle of safety and trust rather than correcting behaviors. Role Modeling: Being a guide for our dogs through clear communication and heart-to-heart connection. Lifestyle Approach: Treating interactions as part of a lifestyle, not isolated training sessions. Plan and Progress: Developing plans with our dogs to address behaviors, focusing on progress, not perfection.   Kathy's insights encourage us to approach our relationships with our dogs with empathy, understanding, and patience, fostering a deeper bond and a more joyful life together.   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/  

In this inspiring podcast replay, Kathy interviews Ros about her transformative experience with her two Hungarian Vizslas, Phoebe and Myrtle. Ros discusses the initial challenges of their reactivity and her subsequent journey to understanding and connecting with them in a way that led to an enjoyable life together.    The episode highlights the pivotal role of a dog mom’s mindset in influencing dog behavior, the importance of addressing the underlying causes of reactivity, and the effectiveness of the 'Safe, Calm, and Happy' approach. It showcases the significant behavioral transformation possible through partnership-based methods.    Listen to the full interview for insights into this life-changing journey!   Key Takeaways:   The critical impact of a dog mom's emotional state and mindset on her dog's behavior. Addressing the root causes of a dog's reactivity, rather than just the symptoms, leads to more effective results. 'Safe, Calm, and Happy' protocol's role in managing and transforming a dog's behavior. Value of supportive community and structured guidance in navigating challenges with reactive dogs. Potential for substantial behavioral improvement and enhanced life quality for both dogs and dog moms through dedicated partnership training.   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/  

Today’s episode addresses the common yet frustrating issue many dog moms face - their dogs not responding to recall in everyday situations.  In this insightful episode, host Kathy sheds light on why traditional command-based recall methods often fall short and offers a more effective, connection-based approach.  This podcast is essential for dog moms looking to understand their dogs better and build a relationship where recall becomes a natural, stress-free part of their daily life. Kathy guides listeners through practical, real-life scenarios, demonstrating how empathy and understanding can transform recall from a struggle to a joyful interaction. Key Takeaways: Recall as an Invitation, Not a Command: Shifting from commanding to inviting your dog strengthens your bond and makes recall a positive experience. Understanding Over Obedience: Understanding your dog's unique personality, needs, and emotions is key to effective recall training. Building Trust, Not Just Compliance: Fostering trust and safety with your dog leads to more natural and reliable recall responses. The Power of Connection: A deep, heart-centered connection with your dog is transformative in overcoming recall challenges. Practical Everyday Applications: Practical insights into everyday scenarios improve recall reliability and overall cooperation.   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/

In this episode, Kathy discusses the profound impact our subconscious beliefs can have on our dogs' behavior, drawing on the concept of the Pygmalion Effect or Self-fulfilling Prophecy.  Common frustrations and challenges dog moms face, like reactivity, over-excitement, and disobedience, can be transformed by starting with a shift from judgment to understanding and support.  Negative beliefs about our dogs can create a challenging loop of behavior that spirals into meltdowns or shutdowns, while positive perceptions can lead to more harmonious interactions.  Kathy's message is clear: when dog moms believe in cooperation, they create an environment where both they and their dogs can thrive. Key Takeaways Our subconscious beliefs about our dogs can significantly shape their behavior, illustrating the Pygmalion Effect. Viewing dogs' behaviors as forms of communication encourages a more empathetic and effective response to their needs. Changing our perception from seeing our dogs as problematic to understanding their actions can transform our relationship with them. Accepting and loving our dogs as they are can lead to significant positive changes in their behavior and our relationship with them.   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/

In this insightful episode, Kathy delves into the nuanced topic of leadership in the context of a relationship with our dogs that cultivates natural cooperation. She emphasizes the importance of being a loving leader without resorting to dominance or obedience training. Kathy explains that true leadership is about guiding, listening, and fostering trust rather than commanding or exerting control.    Kathy advocates for a leadership style that centers on making dogs feel safe, thereby cultivating trust and cooperation. This episode is not only a guide to better understanding dogs but also a reflection on the transformative power of empathy and kindness in leadership.   Tune in for Kathy’s strategies and personal experiences that will help you nurture a space where your dog feels secure, trusting and cooperative. Key Takeaways: Leadership with our dogs should focus on guidance and cooperation, not dominance or obedience. Listening and understanding to both human and canine needs are crucial for building trust and a sense of safety and security. Observations from animal behavior research, such as in wolves and elephants, can inform effective and compassionate dog parenting strategies. A loving leader influences the family's tone, setting an example of calmness, decisiveness, and kindness. Creating a safe and trusting environment is essential for fostering cooperation and reducing negative behaviors like hyper-vigilance and reactivity in dogs.   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/

Today on The Enlightened by Dogs Show, our host Kathy Kawalec dives deep into the beautiful world of empathy, connection, and mindful partnership with our dogs. She reminds us that it's not just about what we do, but also about who we are being in our relationship with our dogs. Our intentions and values shape our actions and the results we achieve.   To truly connect with our dogs, Kathy encourages us to reflect on what we truly value and desire in our relationship with them. She shares some fantastic exercises to help us gain clarity on our core values and the qualities we aspire to live by. By making value declarations based on these qualities, we can guide our actions and intentions in our relationship with our dogs.   But it doesn't stop there! Kathy wants us to imagine what our dogs love about our relationship and the qualities they value in a human partner. By expressing these qualities in our interactions with our dogs, we can create an even stronger bond.   Tune in to cultivate a more fulfilling and successful partnership with your dogs.   Key Takeaways: It's not just about what we do, but also about who we are being in our relationship with our dogs. Reflect on your core values and the qualities you admire in others to guide your actions and intentions. Imagine what your dog loves about your relationship and express those qualities in your interactions.   LOVE TO LEARN MORE?  Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog ... without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.    Here are some next steps:   SUBSCRIBE to Kathy’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/DancingHeartsDogAcademy/videos   LISTEN or READ Kathy’s Podcast and Blog on her Website: https://dancingheartsdogacademy.com/   GET STARTED work with Kathy: https://dancinghearts.link/foundation   LET’S CONNECT on the socials for more partnership tips and advice: -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dancinghearts/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathykawalec/   LISTEN TO PODCASTS: Subscribe to the Enlightened By Dogs podcast in your favorite app! Don’t forget to leave us a rating and review – it would make Kathy very happy!   Subscribe on  Apple Podcasts | Listen on Spotify Connect on Facebook: facebook.com/dancinghearts/