Dating and Desire Podcast

For a lot of Christian women, anger can feel like evidence that something has gone wrong. Maybe you learned that being godly meant being gracious, peaceful, agreeable, and definitely not angry. But what if anger isn’t something you need to get rid of before you can become a healthier person?Tori Mae Hein, a certified life coach, Bible teacher, and trauma-informed coach who serves with Freedom Movement, joins Lauren and Bridgett to talk about what anger can actually reveal. They explore the messages women receive about being “good,” the ways anger gets buried beneath anxiety, overwhelm, or fear, and what can happen when we never learn how to tell the truth about what hurts, feels unjust, or matters deeply to us.The conversation also gets practical about anger in relationships and dating. How do you express anger without using it to harm someone? What does it look like to stay curious about what’s underneath it? And as trust grows with another person, can learning to name anger honestly actually become part of building intimacy rather than threatening it?Watch this episode on YouTubeConnect with Tori Mae HeinInstagram: @torimaehein Tori's WebsiteFreedom Movement – Work From WorthWant help applying this to your dating life?If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

What should you look for when you’re dating someone with a history of porn use, sexual addiction, or another recovery story? Robert Vander Meer of Pure Desire joins Lauren and Bridgett for a conversation about why a person’s past matters, but checking the right boxes doesn’t necessarily tell you whether they’re ready for a healthy relationship.Robert shares openly from his own story of addiction, loss, recovery, and marriage as they talk about what it means to let another person really know you. They explore the difference between honesty and vulnerability, when a dating partner needs to know about your recovery story, and why sobriety alone isn’t the same thing as relational health.For singles trying to discern whether someone is safe to keep getting to know, the conversation moves beyond “Have they done the bad thing?” toward a fuller picture of health. Are they taking ownership of their story? Can they be honest without being interrogated? Do they have meaningful community, boundaries, curiosity, and the capacity to stay connected when relationships get uncomfortable? And for anyone carrying a story they fear will disqualify them from love, Robert offers a hopeful reminder that recovery does not have to be the end of your romantic story.Watch this episode on YouTubeAbout Robert Vander MeerRobert Vander Meer brings more than 25 years of pastoral experience and a decade of clinical experience to his work helping people move from hopelessness and isolation toward greater health and connection. His approach does not separate faith from recovery, but sees both as part of the larger work of becoming more present in relationships while pursuing a meaningful and fulfilling life.Robert is a clinician with Pure Desire Ministries, where he works with individuals and couples navigating unwanted sexual behavior, addiction, betrayal trauma, and recovery. At the heart of his work is a simple belief: good relationships are not the byproduct of health. Health is the byproduct of good relationships.Website: puredesire.orgInstagram: @puredesirepdmiIf something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Does body count actually matter when you’re deciding whether to date someone? For many Christian singles, the number of people someone has slept with can feel loaded with meaning. It can bring up questions about faith, sexual compatibility, trust, comparison, and whether someone’s past tells you something important about who they are today.Lauren and Bridgett explore why sexual history does matter, but a number may tell you far less than you think. Two people can have similar pasts on paper and have completely different relationships with their sexuality now. And someone with little or no sexual experience isn’t automatically more prepared for healthy intimacy than someone whose story looks very different.So if body count isn’t enough information, what should we actually be paying attention to? This conversation looks beyond the number toward sexual integrity, the stories and fears we bring into dating, and how two people can begin talking honestly about the past without letting shame or judgment take over the conversation.Watch this episode on YouTubeIf something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Can you actually stay friends with an ex, or with someone you’ve hooked up with? A listener question gets Lauren and Bridgett talking about what happens when a romantic or sexual connection ends but the other person is still part of your church, friend group, workplace, or everyday life. Rather than giving one rule for every situation, they talk through what matters: how serious the relationship was, how intertwined your lives became, what kind of connection you’re hoping to have now, and whether staying close is actually helping either person move forward.They also get honest about the ways “let’s just be friends” can mean very different things. Sometimes friendship is genuinely possible. Other times it becomes a way to stay emotionally attached, keep receiving scraps of connection, or avoid accepting that the relationship has ended. Lauren and Bridgett talk about giving your heart enough space to reset, resisting the pressure to choose sides after a breakup, and why churches need to become places where people can date, break up, grieve, and still belong to the same community.The conversation gets even more complicated when the relationship began with a hookup, a fling, or another sexual experience. What were you actually looking for in that connection? Were you longing to feel chosen, close, wanted, or known? And if you decide to remain friends, what boundaries would help that friendship actually become friendship instead of a quieter version of the same relationship? This episode is less about finding a universal rule and more about being honest about what you want, what the relationship really is, and whether the way you’re staying connected lines up with the life and love you ultimately want to build.WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBEIf something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Cedric Dale Hoard, mental health therapist, spoken word artist, and author, joins Lauren and Bridgett to talk about the messages Christian men often receive about desire, lust, masculinity, and relationships. Drawing from his work with men and his own experience, Cedric looks at how purity culture can leave men ashamed of attraction or afraid of desire without helping them understand what may be happening underneath it.The conversation gets practical about what healthier dating can look like. What do you do when someone you like is not ready for physical affection? How can a man say no to sexual attention without feeling weak? What is the difference between attraction and lust? Cedric talks about emotional regulation, boundaries, vulnerability, and learning to express disappointment without turning it into pressure or manipulation.They also talk about male friendship, loneliness, and what happens when men begin to let safe people really know them. For men who want to date and love well, this episode offers a way to move beyond shame without pretending desire does not exist. And for women who care about the men in their lives, it offers a fuller picture of the emotional work many men are doing to become healthier partners, husbands, fathers, and friends.WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBESHOW RESOURCESThe Head & The CrownAnchored In LightCONNECT WITH CEDRIC HOARDWebsite: https://cedricdalehoard.comInstagram: @cedricdalehoardIf something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Being single for a long time changes the way you build your life. You learn your routines, make your own decisions, carry your own responsibilities, and often become very good at doing life on your own. Lauren and Bridgett talk about what happens when you genuinely enjoy the life you have built but still want someone to share it with.They get honest about the good and hard parts of long-term singleness, from knowing yourself well to carrying the financial and mental load alone. They also explore what can happen when independence becomes hard to give up, when preferences start turning into requirements, and when dating feels harder because you have spent years building a life that already works.If you have been single for years and wonder whether you have become too independent, too selective, or just tired of trying, this episode is for you. How do you stay open to love without putting your life on hold? How do you make room for grief when dating hurts? And how do you keep taking small risks when you do not know how the story will turn out?WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBEIf something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Dr. Camden Morgante, psychologist and author of Recovering from Purity Culture, joins Lauren and Bridgett for a conversation about dating after deconstruction and what it looks like to rethink the beliefs you inherited about faith, sexuality, and relationships. Drawing from both her clinical work and her own purity culture experience, Camden offers a hopeful reminder: you do not have to have your faith completely figured out before you can date, connect, and keep discovering what you believe.The deeper tension is that purity culture often promised certainty. Stay pure, follow the rules, find the right Christian spouse, and a good marriage would follow. When that formula begins to fall apart, dating can feel confusing. Together, they explore how to move beyond the pressure to make every date a potential marriage, loosen rigid ideas about the “perfect” Christian partner, and approach dating with more curiosity, self-trust, and room to grow.For anyone recovering from purity culture while still wanting faith to remain part of their dating life, this conversation offers a way forward without simply replacing one rulebook with another. What to pay attention to… is whether your relationships are helping you grow in honesty, wisdom, safety, mutuality, and connection. Healing is not about getting every belief or boundary perfectly settled first. It is about becoming more free to date, discern, and love with integrity.WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBESHOW RESOURCESBook: Recovering from Purity Culture by Dr. Camden MorganteCONNECT WITH DR. CAMDEN MORGANTEWebsiteInstagram: @DrCamdenIf something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Kendra LeeAnne Kuntz, a gospel-centered Bible teacher and writer, joins Lauren and Bridgett for a conversation about divorce, healing, and what it means to risk your heart again after an abusive marriage. Drawing from her own story, Kendra shares how well-meaning Christian teaching about purity, submission, and marriage shaped the way she understood herself, and why it took leaving her marriage to begin recognizing some of what she had been living through as abuse.The deeper tension here is that Scripture and the character of God can become distorted when marriage is treated as something that must be preserved at the expense of safety, dignity, or truth. Kendra talks about learning to separate God's character from the messages she had absorbed, the pastors and community who helped carry her through divorce, and why conversations about biblical divorce and remarriage need more humility, discernment, and room for redemption.But this episode does not stop at what went wrong. Kendra shares what helped her begin trusting herself again, including therapy, learning to recognize red flags, and inviting trusted people into her dating life. Lauren, Bridgett, and Kendra also talk honestly about attraction and compatibility, dating with children, when to introduce a new partner to your family, and the fear that divorce or motherhood may have somehow made you too complicated to be chosen again.For anyone wondering whether healthy love is still possible after heartbreak, this conversation offers a deeply hopeful picture of what can come next. Healing does not require pretending the past did not happen, and wisdom does not mean closing your heart forever. What to pay attention to… is whether you are becoming more able to use your voice, trust what you are noticing, welcome safe people into your discernment, and choose a relationship where you and the people you love are treated as a blessing rather than a burden.Watch this episode on YouTubeSHOW RESOURCESWhat the Bible Actually Says About Divorce: Kendra's larger Bible study explores difficult passages surrounding divorce and what Scripture actually says about the topic. https://www.kendraleeanne.com/store/p2/whatthebibleactuallysaysaboutdivorce.htmlKendra also offers mini studies addressing difficult-to-understand Bible verses and questions surrounding abuse and divorce for Christians: https://www.kendraleeanne.com/store/c3/Mini_Scripture_Studies.htmlCONNECT WITH KENDRAWebsiteInstagram: @kendraleeanneSubstackFacebookWant help applying this to your dating life?If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Ellie Berry, a Sexual Addiction and Recovery coach, joins Lauren and Bridgett for an honest conversation about women, pornography, and what the path toward real freedom can look like. Drawing from her own experience with pornography addiction and recovery, Ellie names the isolation many women carry when their story does not fit the common assumption that pornography is primarily a man's struggle.Together, they explore why healing takes more than shame, willpower, or simply trying harder. Ellie shares how understanding triggers and the brain's addiction cycle changed the way she understood recovery, why telling a safe person became such an important part of her own healing, and what it can look like to become curious about the deeper needs for connection, relief, pleasure, and care underneath unwanted sexual behavior.The conversation also makes room for a question many Christian women may not know how to ask: What do I do with sexual desire when I'm single, recovering, or choosing not to act on it? Lauren, Bridgett, and Ellie talk about learning to listen to the body without treating desire as dirty or dangerous, finding healthy ways to move that energy toward life and connection, and discovering that sexual wholeness is about much more than whether or not a particular behavior stops.For any woman who has struggled quietly, wondered whether she is the only one, or felt like she should have figured this out by now, this episode offers both practical first steps and a deeply hopeful picture of recovery. And for the friend who may someday be trusted with someone's story, it offers guidance for how to respond with care instead of shame. Through it all is a reminder that healing does not begin with earning your way back to God. His delight has not disappeared because you struggle.WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBESHOW RESOURCESBeyond the Porn Phenomenon from Pure Desire Ministries and Barna GroupFight the New DrugEllie offers a free First Steps in Recovery PDF for women who want to begin taking immediate steps toward healing and recovery.CONNECT WITH ELLIE BERRY- Website- Instagram: @elliebe_- Ellie also offers an individual coaching package that includes six sessions over three months for women who want more personalized support in their recovery journey.ABOUT ELLIE BERRYEllie Berry is a Sexual Addiction and Recovery coach based in Northern Idaho who is passionate about empowering and equipping women through individual coaching, resources, and group sessions.Outside of her coaching work, Ellie is getting back into running as a hobby and enjoys sitting in a cute coffee shop and walking her two golden retrievers, Margo and Maple.Want help applying this to your dating life?If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]

Have you ever been told dating should feel easy, that the right person will show up when you stop looking, or that maybe you’re just being too picky?In this episode of Dating & Desire, Lauren and Bridgett unpack some of the Christian dating advice singles hear over and over and ask whether it’s actually helping. They talk about why anxiety doesn’t always mean a relationship is wrong, why dating is meant to be a process of discovery rather than a search for certainty, and why finding love still requires the courage to risk being disappointed.They also get honest about attraction, standards, and the fear of settling. How much attraction is enough? Do your standards need to change as you get older? And how do you know when you’re wisely adjusting expectations versus making yourself smaller just to make a relationship work?Because dating doesn’t come with guarantees. The invitation is not to eliminate every risk, but to become more honest about what you want, more willing to move toward connection, and more discerning about the kind of relationship that gives both people room to grow.Watch this episode on YouTubeWant help applying this to your dating life?If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with BridgettYou don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values→ ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠  💙 Work with LaurenIf you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠→ ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠Have more questions?Email us at [email protected]