A Jaded Gay

For many LGBTQ+ people, friendship can become an important source of connection, support, and chosen family. The people who stand beside us through heartbreak, major life changes, and unexpected twists often help us figure out who we are and remind us that we don't have to navigate life's challenges alone.In this episode, I'm joined by my bestie Sara Solomon to discuss the real-life friendship behind my book Besties in Crime. What started as a way to turn heartbreak and unexpected life changes into comedy became a story about queer friendship, finding independence, and discovering that life doesn't always have to follow the path we once imagined.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 43. Surviving a Breakup (with Sara Sabatino)Listen to Bonus Episode 27. Queer as Philly Folk (with Sara Solomon)Additional Resources:Read Besties in CrimeSurviving a Breakup: A Guide for Gay Men to Heal, Grow, and Rediscover Self-WorthThe Secret Is OUTThe Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people —...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showGet Your Merch

In 1970s San Francisco, Harvey Milk emerged as a political force in the Castro, turning a neighborhood camera shop into the center of a movement and giving a growing LGBTQ+ community a voice in local government. His historic election, outspoken fight for gay rights, and tragic assassination would make him one of the most influential figures in LGBTQ+ history.In this episode of A Jaded Gay, we're tracing Milk's journey from his early life and relationships to his rise as a political leader in San Francisco's Castro district and his historic 1977 election as California's first openly gay man elected to public office. From his fight against Anita Bryant and Proposition 6 to his assassination alongside Mayor George Moscone, the Twinkie defense, and the White Night Riots, his story reveals both the progress and the resistance that shaped the LGBTQ+ rights movement—and the enduring power of his message of hope.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 06. Gay Panic DefenseListen to Episode 24. Gay Villages: Won't You Be My Gaybor?Listen to Episode 63. The Stonewall RiotsListen to Episode 104. The Castro Clone WarsAdditional Resources:The LGBTQ+ Panic Defense: A Threat to Our Safety and EqualityWhy Gay Villages Matter: Exploring Their History, Evolution, and Future ChallengesStonewall Riots: A Catalyst for Pride and the Fight for LGBTQ+ RightsCastro Clones: How the Hyper-Masculine Archetype Shaped LGBTQ+ Identity and FashionHarvey MilkHarvey MilkCraig RodwellOliver SippleA Walk on San Francisco’s Gay SideDan WhiteAssassinations of George Moscone and Harvey MilkGayslayer!: The Story of how Dan White Killed Harvey Milk and George Moscone & Got Away with MurderDouble Play: The Hidden Passions Behind the Double Assassination of George Moscone and Harvey MilkTwinkie DefenseWhite Night RiotsHegseth Orders Navy to Strip Name of Gay Rights Icon Harvey Milk from ShipThe Secret Is OUTThe Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people —...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showGet Your Merch

With their irresistible combination of beauty, mischief, and supernatural flair, demon twinks have become one of gay culture's most fascinating archetypes. Born from a viral night at a Britney Spears-themed boat party, this playful label has become part of gay internet lore, celebrating the unpredictable and delightfully chaotic side of queer culture.In this episode, we're tracing the origins of the demon twink, from its viral beginnings to its connections with celebrities, queer films, and the rise of the chaotic twink. From viral party antics to queer horror films, this archetype shows why no label can capture the full complexity of our identities.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 151. Twink Death: RIP Skinny JeansAdditional Resources:Twink Death: Navigating Aging, Aesthetics, and Body Image in Gay CultureTwink (Dictionary.com)WTF Is Demon Twink? Your Explainer On The Gay Who Went Viral For Menacing A Britney CruiseWhat Is 'Demon Twink'? Viral Tweet, ExplainedWho is 'Demon Twink'? Here's How a Twitter Trend Started On a Britney Spears Boat Party!Demon Twink (Know Your Meme)Lukas Gage Channeled the 'Demon Twink' Twitter Phenom for Down LowDemon Twink TweetHow the Chaotic Twink Became the Archetype of the MomentWhat's Your "Demon Twink" Experience? (Reddit)Demon Twink FilmSupport the showGet Your Merch

If you listen closely, today's political rhetoric may sound eerily familiar to that of the Lavender Scare during the Cold War, when fear of communism wasn't the only threat driving anxiety in the United States. As fears about homosexuality became intertwined with national security concerns, the U.S. government began investigating, surveilling, and firing gay and lesbian federal employees who were deemed a threat.In this episode, we’re going back to the origins of the Lavender Scare and the Red Scare, from Joseph McCarthy’s accusations about gay people in the federal government to J. Edgar Hoover’s FBI investigations and Dwight D. Eisenhower’s Executive Order 10450. What began as fear of perceived threats to national security would leave thousands of LGBTQ+ people without jobs and shape how the federal government treated homosexuality for decades to come.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 24. Gay Villages: Won't You Be My Gaybor?Listen to Episode 63. The Stonewall RiotsAdditional Resources:Why Gay Villages Matter: Exploring Their History, Evolution, and Future ChallengesStonewall Riots: A Catalyst for Pride and the Fight for LGBTQ+ RightsThe Lavender Scare: The Cold War Persecution of Gays and Lesbians in the Federal GovernmentRed ScareJewish BolshevismCold WarJoseph McCarthyJoseph McCarthyLavender Scare“These People Are Frightened to Death”McCarthyismMcCarthyismLavender ScareHomosexuality in the DSMInterim Report on Employment of Homosexuals and Other Sex Perverts in GovernmentHoover's War on Gays: Exposing the FBI's "Sex Deviants" ProgramTimeline: FBI and Homosexuality, 1908-2015FBI Memo Sex Deviates In Government Service, FBI (Record, 1951)Dwight D. EisenhowerExecutive Order 10450Army–McCarthy HearingsExecutive Order 10450: Eisenhower and the Lavender ScareLGBTQ Advocates Warn of FBI Plan to Label Trans People as ‘Violent Extremists’The Secret Is OUTThe Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people —...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showGet Your Merch

Rejection doesn’t always come in the form of a breakup or an outright rejection. For gay men and other LGBTQ+ people, it can show up in the small moments that leave us feeling ignored, unwanted, or disconnected, from a dating app match who suddenly disappears to someone making assumptions about our sexuality or identity.In this episode, we’re exploring the psychology of micro-rejections, how repeated experiences of rejection can shape gay dating and relationships, and why LGBTQ+ people may face additional challenges navigating rejection in a heteronormative society. From ghosting and breadcrumbing on gay dating apps to rejection sensitivity and heterosexist assumptions, we’re breaking down how these seemingly insignificant interactions can impact our self-esteem, sense of belonging, and ability to build meaningful connections.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 15. Understanding Attachment StylesListen to Episode 68. Don't Conflate Infatuation with LoveListen to Episode 96. Should You Swipe Left on Gay Dating Apps?Listen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight JacketListen to Bonus Episode 31. Murder Behind a Gay Porn EmpireAdditional Resources:Navigating Love with Attachment Styles: Building Healthier Relationships for Gay MenInfatuation vs. Love: Navigating Healthy Relationships for Gay MenExploring Gay Dating Apps: Their Impact on LGBTQ+ Culture, Mental Health, and RelationshipsHeterosexism Explained: How Systemic Discrimination Affects LGBTQ+ PeopleWhat is Micro-Rejection? How to Recognize and Overcome ItMicro-Rejections: The #1 Reason Relationships Die a Slow, Ugly DeathThe Micro-Decision That Could Make or Break a RelationshipThe Pain of Social RejectionCommon Neural Responses to Romantic Rejection and Acceptance in Healthy AdultsYour Brain Learns From Rejection — Here’s How It Becomes Your Compass for ConnectionAre ‘Micro-Rejections’ Changing The Way We Date?Rejection SensitivityRejection Sensitivity10 Relationship Problems Caused by Rejection SensitivitySexual Orientation Microaggression InventoryDaily Experiences With Heterosexism: Relations Between Heterosexist Hassles and Psychological Well-BeingPrejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations: Conceptual Issues and Research Evidence8 Ways to Recover From RejectionMicro Rejections: It’s Not That Serious (Until You’re Crying in the Shower)The Secret Is OUTThe Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people —...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showGet Your Merch

Previously, we explored somatic therapy through the lens of pleasure and embodiment, revealing how the body can hold wisdom about our experiences. Many gay men carry tension, stress, and internalized shame from years of hypervigilance and navigating societal pressures, which can quietly shape how they move, feel, and relate to themselves.In this episode, Sean Hershey, a somatic therapist, joins us to share how somatic therapy can help gay men release these patterns, calm the nervous system, and reclaim a sense of presence and freedom in their bodies.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 153. Pride, Pleasure, and the Path to Healing (with Court Vox)Additional Resources:Radical Intimacy: Healing Queer Trauma Through Somatic PleasureLearn More About SeanFollow Sean on InstagramListen to Sean’s PodcastThe Secret Is OUTThe Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people —...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showGet Your Merch

Internet culture frequently jokes that getting a haircut is “gay therapy,” restoring both gay powers and confidence. But haircuts have long served as tools of self-expression, social signaling, and identity transformation within LGBTQ+ culture.In this episode, we explore the history, culture, and psychology of haircuts, which affirm LGBTQ+ identity.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 81. Are Mustaches Gay?Listen to Episode 92. Metrosexual MadnessListen to Episode 104. The Castro Clone WarsAdditional Resources:The Intersection of Mustaches and Queer Culture: A History of Rebellion, Identity, and ExpressionMetrosexuality: Challenging Masculinity or Reinforcing Problematic Stereotypes?Castro Clones: How the Hyper-Masculine Archetype Shaped LGBTQ+ Identity and FashionHaircut as a Catalyst for Identity Transformation and Social Perception: A Multidimensional ReviewThe Effect of Hairdressing on the Self-Esteem of Men and WomenThe Psychology of a Good Haircut: How Your Hair Impacts ConfidenceHalo EffectHow the LGBTQIA+ Community Use Style to Signal IdentityA South End Barber Offers ‘Gender-Affirming’ Haircuts and a Safe Space for the Queer CommunitySeeking to Address Fears Inside Salons, Queer Barbers Make Their Own SpacesAffirming Haircuts Are a Human Right: This Stylist Fighting Tooth & Nail to Upend Salon Gender Norms11 of the Most Iconic Queer Hairstyles, According to StylistsSupport the showGet Your Merch

Historically, LGBTQ+ storylines in literature, film, and television were confined to predominantly tragic narratives, where heartbreak, loss, or death defined queer characters. Today, that representation is evolving, with authentic, multidimensional portrayals of LGBTQ+ characters navigating complex emotions, relationships, and life stages that reflect real queer experiences.In this episode, Steven Rowley, New York Times bestselling author of The Guncle, joins us to delve into his newest novel, Take Me with You, and why modern LGBTQ+ stories exploring grief, family, and identity matter.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 95. Take a Page from #GayBookstagram (with Rod Lujano)Listen to Episode 119. Turning the Page on Queer Book Bans (with Alexander Rigby)Additional Resources:Gay Bookstagram: Celebrating LGBTQ+ Literature, Amplifying Diverse Voices, and Advocating for RepresentationThe Battle Over Queer Literature: Censorship, Representation, and ResistanceLearn More About StevenGet Your Copy of Take Me with YouFollow Steven on InstagramCheck Out Steven’s BibliographyThe Secret Is OUTThe Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people —...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showGet Your Merch

International Transgender Day of Visibility is more than a moment of recognition — it’s a celebration of transgender joy, resilience, and the everyday lives that too often go unseen. Observed each year on March 31, the day uplifts trans voices, highlights achievements across culture and community, and calls attention to the discrimination and barriers that still impact transgender people around the world.In this episode, we’re exploring the history of International Transgender Day of Visibility while reflecting on representation, advocacy, and the ongoing fight for safety, dignity, and equality.Additional Resources:The History Behind International Transgender Day of VisibilityMSU Alumna Reflects On Establishing Transgender Day of VisibilityTransgender Leader Rachel Crandall to Receive Prestigious Community AwardBiden is the First President to Issue Transgender Day of Visibility ProclamationInternational Transgender Day of Visibility (GLAAD)Fact Check: Biden Did Not Set Transgender Day of Visibility to Annually Coincide with EasterHow Are the Dates for Easter, Palm Sunday, and Ash Wednesday Determined?2026 Anti-Trans Bills TrackerWhat Anti-Trans Bills Passed in 2026?Protect Trans Care NowTake the Pledge: Support Trans Youth NowProtect Life-Saving Healthcare for Trans PeopleTransgender Law CenterThe Trevor ProjectSupport the showGet Your Merch

Previously, we’ve discussed how growing up gay in a world that often misunderstood or rejected us can leave deep emotional scars. In adulthood, these wounds may show up as shame, fear of intimacy, self-doubt, or difficulty trusting both ourselves and others.In this episode, Chris Tompkins, founder of A Road Trip to Love, joins us to explore how gay men can recognize, nurture, and heal the wounded parts of their inner child to transforming past pain into self-acceptance.Related Episodes:Listen to Episode 121. Unpack Your Gay Emotional Baggage (with Dr. Jason Durant)Listen to Episode 146. The Velvet RageAdditional Resources:Gay Men's Mental Health: Navigating Challenges and Finding Support through TherapyUnmasking Gay Shame: Identity, Trauma, and the Lessons of The Velvet RageLearn More About ChrisFollow Chris on InstagramFollow Chris on FacebookFollow Chris on TwitterRead Raising LGBTQ AlliesThe Secret Is OUTThe Secret Is Out tells the coming-out stories of LGBTQ people —...Listen on: Apple Podcasts   SpotifySupport the showGet Your Merch