Unconditional Love, Clinging, and the Science of Letting Go With Dr. Joe Ciarrochi

Do you feel thrown off balance by praise, blame, fear, or stressful news when life hits hard? In this Secret Sangha episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill continues the four-week “four immeasurables” series by focusing on equanimity—steady love—as the prior condition of balance from which pleasant and unpleasant experiences arise. She explores how the “eight worldly winds” can destabilize us, how the near enemies of equanimity show up as indifference, control, adding on stories, or acting out, and shares personal examples from her own life. Diana offers practical ways to return to steadiness through essential self-care, stillness and silence, flexible attention to what stabilizes you, remembering “enoughness,” and being the calm you seek.Listen and learn:How the “eight worldly winds” can knock you off balanceThe near enemies of equanimity: indifference, control, adding on, and acting outHow stillness, silence, and essential self-care support steady lovePractices like flexible attention, remembering enoughness, and “being the calm” you seekShare this episode with someone who could use steadier love this week.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related Bonus Meditation: EquanimityRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Wise Effort Retreat in Costa RicaJoin me for a real transformative experience on retreat at Blue Spirit in Costa Rica. Only a few spaces are left. Reserve your spot today! Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

This breathwork and guided meditation session, led by Dr. Diana Hill, is part of the Diana's weekly Sangha community. This meditation guides a mindfulness practice beginning with “butterfly breath" and then invites listeners to rest attention on calming sounds arising from silence, adopt a stable and open posture of equanimity, and notice the natural steadiness of breathing. Listeners are asked to inquire inwardly what part of themselves needs tending to, meet sensations or emotions with steady love, and ask what that part wants them to know, responding with “I hear you, I see you.” The practice emphasizes being the spacious “prior condition” that holds sounds, feelings, worries, and others’ pain with presence, and offers three anchors to return to when off balance: breath, body/posture, and heart. Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related talk--Episode 188 Secret Sangha: Equanimity.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Are you doing “all the right things” and still feeling like happiness keeps slipping through your fingers? In this episode, Dr. Diana Hill talks with Yale psychology professor and The Happiness Lab host Dr. Laurie Santos about the biggest mind traps that block joy—and the small, research-backed shifts that help you feel better in real life. Together, Diana and Laurie unpack why mind-wandering, hedonic adaptation (getting used to the good), and comparison quietly drain wellbeing—and how practices like mindfulness/savoring, treating negative emotions as helpful signals, radical acceptance, and “time affluence” can bring you back to what matters most.Key takeaways you’ll learn in this episode:The three biggest “happiness traps” (mind-wandering, adaptation, and comparison) and how to work with them.Why chasing “good vibes only” can backfire—and how to redefine happiness as flourishing.How to use negative emotions as signals (like a dashboard light) instead of problems to eliminate.Why more money and achievement often don’t move happiness much—and what tends to help more (sleep, friends, free time, and presence).Press play, then share this episode with a high-achiever friend (or anyone feeling stuck in the comparison spiral) who could use a science-backed reset on what actually creates joy.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Wise Effort Retreat in Costa RicaJoin me for a real transformative experience on retreat at Blue Spirit in Costa Rica. Only a few spaces are left. Reserve your spot today! Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

Do you keep getting stuck in the same fights or feeling rejected in your relationship? In this episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill shares an evidence-based talk on the science of “wise and fierce” relationships, then follows with a conversation with athlete and entrepreneur Gabby Reece about what helps partnerships last.Diana draws on relationship research and her clinical experience to explain why conflict isn’t the main problem—repair is—and on what predicts relationship satisfaction: commitment, appreciation, responsiveness, and sexual satisfaction. She also discusses research on sexual frequency and how motivation matters more than frequency (“getting it on” vs. “getting it over with”).Diana offers a practical exercise to help listeners “put down the broom” of rigid stories: write your story about your partner and their story about you, identify the “negative truth,” then (1) create disconfirming evidence by noticing what contradicts your story about them, and (2) do something that proves their story about you wrong. In the conversation, Gabby describes how respect, emotional honesty, daily connection rituals, and sustaining momentum—along with supporting each partner’s individual passions—strengthen her decades-long marriage to Laird, and they discuss reframing intimacy bids and avoiding complacency.Listen and share this episode with someone you want to strengthen a relationship with.Listen and learn:Why repair after disharmony matters more than avoiding conflictThe key relationship ingredients identified across 43 studies: commitment, appreciation, responsiveness, and sexual satisfactionWhat the research suggests about sex frequency and why “getting it on” vs. “getting it over with” changes satisfactionRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Craving something amazing? Join me in Costa Rica!Craving greenery? Craving warmer weather? Craving more health? Craving more connection? Craving more love for yourself? Now is a good time to sign up for my Costa Rica retreat.Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

Are you seeking more empathy, less fear, and stronger connections in a divided world? In this episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill discusses the power of the four immeasurables—loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Dr. Hill explains how these qualities can positively affect your brain, body, and relationships, and offers practical exercises and insights to cultivate them. Join us to learn inspiring techniques to bring more kindness into your life and to those around you.Listen and learn:The impact of loving kindness on mental and physical well-beingHow simple acts of kindness can reduce anxiety and foster a sense of belongingPractical exercises like Tadasana and alternate nostril breathing to practice loving kindnessThe importance of invisible helpers in daily life.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana’s related Bonus Meditation: Kind LoveRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Craving something amazing? Join me in Costa Rica!Craving greenery? Craving warmer weather? Craving more health? Craving more connection? Craving more love for yourself? Now is a good time to sign up for my Costa Rica retreat.Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

This breathwork and guided meditation session, led by Dr. Diana Hill, is part of the Diana's weekly Sangha community. This meditation walks you through breathwork techniques and mindful presence to foster kindness within yourself and extend it to others. Diana shares techniques to anchor yourself in the present moment and invites you to connect with your 'invisible helpers' for support and kindness. Join this guided meditation to replenish your mind, body, and spirit.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related talk--Episode 182 Secret Sangha: Kind Love.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

This breathwork and guided meditation session, led by Dr. Diana Hill, is part of the Diana's weekly Sangha community. This meditation walks you through breathwork techniques and a deep meditation to cultivate a spacious, free mind, heart, and self while understanding the many contexts that impact our lives. Listen as Diana guides you on this journey towards total and complete freedom. Share this episode with someone who could benefit from a moment of peace and freedom.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related talk--Episode 181 Secret Sangha: Context.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Are you aware of how your environment and context influence your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors? In this Secret Sangha episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill delves into the role of context and how it affects our inner experiences, which is a major concept of contextual behavioral science. Dr. Hill explains how our biology, social-cultural context, and environment shape our daily lives, and she encourages us to adopt a contemplative approach centered on love to transform these influences and helps us develop our psychological flexibility. Join us to understand the interdependence of context and individual experience and learn how love can serve as a healing context for all.Listen and learn:The interdependence of context and individual experienceHow love can serve as a healing context for all.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related meditation--Episode 181 Bonus Meditation: Context.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Craving something amazing? Join me in Costa Rica!Craving greenery? Craving warmer weather? Craving more health? Craving more connection? Craving more love for yourself? Now is a good time to sign up for my Costa Rica retreat.Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

How can we use our imagination to transform individually and our collective consciousness? Clinical psychologist Dr. Diana Hill explores this question with Dr. Cassandra Vieten on The Wise Effort Show. Dr. Vieten, a clinical professor and director of research at multiple institutions, shares her extensive research on the subject, emphasizing the profound impact transformative spiritual experiences can have on changing our worldview and behaviors. Listeners will learn about the conditions that support transformation, the importance of imagination in altering future outcomes, and practical approaches to fostering a shift in consciousness. Vieten's compelling personal anecdotes and scientific insights provide a roadmap for understanding and achieving deep, lasting change.Listen and learn:Scientific Approach to TransformationThe Power of Imagination in TransformationImagination and Worldview TransformationImagination in Practice and TherapyImagining a Better FutureRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Craving something amazing? Join me in Costa Rica!Craving greenery? Craving warmer weather? Craving more health? Craving more connection? Craving more love for yourself? Now is a good time to sign up for my Costa Rica retreat.Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

Are you feeling stuck in a problem—believing every scary thought, trying to “fix” your feelings, or spiraling into overthinking instead of moving forward?In this Secret Sangha episode (a new series from Diana’s live community that she hosts weekly in Santa Barbara), Diana shows you how to build psychological flexibility so you can stay open, aware, and engaged—even when things are hard—and take small actions toward what matters most.Listen and learn:The 6 core skills of psychological flexibility and how they show up in real-life stressHow to relate to thoughts with more freedom: “thank you, mind”—without automatically following itA clear way to work with emotions when you’re stuck in fixing or floodingHow small, values-based actions (even minuscule ones) expand the “world you’re free to inhabit”You can also enjoy Diana's related meditation on by listening to Episode 180 Bonus Meditation: Flexibility.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsReserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!See Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.