Watch This Or Die

Tell us a story. Smoke some PCP laced weed. Save a girl from being raped. Kill a drug dealer and try to avoid getting your shit pushed in, because King Kong ain’t got shit on us. It is our pleasure to recommend to you this week, Antoine Fuqua’s American crime thriller, Training Day (2001).  Clips From: Training Day

Spend the winter with 12 men in Antartica. Lob thermite grenades at a dog. Test the blood of your co-workers to see if they've been assimilated by an alien life form. Grab a flamethrower and burn anyone who's acting weird, because there's a fucking alien amongst you and he wants you all dead. Like an arsonist in a Zippo factory we're super excited to recommend to you this week, for the 5th and final installment of our 2nd annual Horrorfest, John Carpenter's sci-fi horror film, The Thing (1982).  Clips from: The Thing & Liberty Medical

Treat your girlfriend like shit after the death of her entire family. Begrudgingly invite her on a trip to Sweden. Don’t console her after watching people jump off a cliff to their deaths. Drink some hallucinogenic tea and then fuck a young Swedish girl, because we have a bear suit to wear to a Pagan summer ritual. It is with callous indifference that we recommend to you this week for our 4th installment of our 2nd Annual Horrorfest, Ari Aster’s Pagan horror thriller, Midsommar (2019).  Clips from: Midsommar & A24.

Break your leg falling off your roof. Let your wife get kidnapped by Indigenous Cannibals. Form a posse to go rescue her. Shoot who or whatever rings the tripwire bells and watch a man get ripped in half, because you’ve got a wife to save. It is with diabolical delight that we recommend to you this week for our 3rd installment of our 2nd annual Horrorfest, S. Craig Zahler’s horror western, Bone Tomahawk (2015).  Clips from: Bone Tomahawk

Wake up from a coma. Aimlessly wander around London looking for people. Blow up a petrol station. Change a flat tire and then take a scenic drive out into the country, because zombies have overtaken England and your days are fucking numbered. It is with diabolical delight that we recommend to you this week Danny Boyle's post-apocalyptic zombie thriller, 28 Days Later (2002). Clips from: 28 Days Later, Tropic Thunder & Wham! 

Get together with a bunch of friends. Spend the weekend at some creepy ass cabin in the woods. Peruse through the contents of an old ass basement. Read some sentences written in Latin from a dusty old diary, then go have sex in the forrest because before the nights out you're going to be murdered by some Zombie Redneck Torture Family. It is with ghoulish delight that we recommend to you this week, to kick off our 2nd Annual Horrorfest, Drew Goddard's horror comedy, The Cabin In The Woods (2011). Clips from: Cabin In The Woods & Jeopardy

Hitch a ride on a stagecoach. Brave a blizzard in Mini's Haberdashery with seven nefarious individuals. Kill an old racist Confederate General. Trust no one and definitely don't drink the coffee, because someone's poisoned it and is trying to free Daisy. It is with devious delight that we kickoff our second season by recommending to you Quentin Tarantino's western thriller, The Hateful Eight (2015). Clips from: The Hateful Eight

Hire a one-eyed Marshall to hunt down the man who killed your father. Don't let a Texas Ranger kiss you while you sleep. Promise to bury a man properly once he's dead. Watch two men try to out do one another by skeet shooting cornbread and beware of rattlesnakes because you're on the hunt for your father's killer. It is with true pride that we recommend to you this week the Coen Brother's revenge western thriller, True Grit (2010) Clips from: True Grit

Survive a horrific train accident. Intimidate a camo trench coat wearing man to step out of line. Bench a shit ton of weight. Touch a bunch of strangers at a train station and choke a man to death because we have to figure out if we really are a superhero. It is our pleasure to recommend to you this week M. Night Shymalan’s superhero thriller, Unbreakable (2000).  Clips from: Unbreakable, Quentin Tarantino HD & Touchstone Pictures.

Get arrested for robbing the United States Depository. Make a deal to find the President in exchange for a full pardon. Fly a glider undetected into Manhattan. Avoid the Crazies and kill a giant in a sadistic death match because we have a President to save and some neck explosives to deactivate. It is our pleasure to recommend to you this week John Carpenter's sci-fi action thriller, Escape From New York (1981). Clips from: Escape From New York, Entertainment Weekly & Cinema In St. Louis.