358. Why & How to Be Extraordinary (Yes I’m Talking to You)

You’ve done the therapy, read the books, and gained awareness, but the same anxious thoughts still run the show. This week’s Coaching Hotline episode dives into why understanding your patterns isn’t enough to change them and what’s really required to create lasting emotional shifts. I help one listener who’s been through years of therapy without relief and another who’s stuck chasing validation after a breakup. Tune in to learn why insight alone doesn’t rewire your brain, how to move from self-awareness to self-mastery, and why rejection or stuckness never means you’re broken. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/435Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Most people think confidence is just about feeling good about yourself, but that is only the beginning. In this episode, I am revisiting one of the most important concepts I have ever taught: what true confidence actually is, and what it is not. When you stop thinking of confidence as a fleeting feeling and start seeing it as a mindset and a relationship with yourself, everything changes. Listen in as I explore how women are socialized to doubt themselves, why that erodes confidence, and what true confidence requires of you.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/434Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

In this free workshop and guide, you'll learn how to stop caring what other people think so you can care more about what YOU think, and live life on YOUR terms instead.Get it for free here: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hsc

In this week's Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that get to the heart of managing our emotions and taking action despite resistance. The first listener struggles with guilt when their actions unintentionally cause someone they love pain. The second listener is trying to build a consistent thought work routine, but often doesn’t feel like doing it and avoids the work.Through hearing my answers to these questions, you’ll learn why it's not your job to manage or fix others’ emotions, and how taking responsibility for them only adds unnecessary guilt and keeps you stuck. You’ll also discover how to change your relationship with the “I don’t want to” thought and how successful people show up and take action regardless of their feelings.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/433Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Confidence doesn’t come from promotions, degrees, or other people telling you that you’re impressive. In this episode, I revisit one of the earliest conversations on the podcast to break down the myths about where confidence comes from and why relying on external validation alone never works.You’ll learn why starting with your past accomplishments is helpful but not enough and how the deeper work of confidence comes from developing internal trust in yourself. This episode lays the foundation for building confidence that is self-generated, resilient, and ready to support all areas of your life.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/432The Socratic Coaching Method Certification: thesocraticcoachingacademy.comFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheilMentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Other people are going to make choices you don’t agree with - your partner won’t go to therapy, your family says things that clash with your values, your friends act in ways that frustrate you. The real question isn’t how to change them - it’s how you’re going to show up for yourself when faced with choices you don’t like.In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that get right to the heart of accepting other people’s autonomy. I share why trying to control someone else’s choices only creates suffering, how to support yourself first, and how to decide what you’re actually willing to live with. You’ll learn how to speak up when it matters, let go when it doesn’t, and manage your own mind so you can stay grounded without burning out trying to fix people who aren’t ready to change.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/431Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Friction feels annoying, stressful, and uncomfortable, but it is also where real growth happens. In this episode, I show you how to stop avoiding discomfort and start using it to build confidence, resilience, and stronger connections. You’ll learn why your brain resists effort and failure, how to reframe frustration as progress, and simple ways to practice tolerating and even seeking out productive friction. By the end, you’ll see why the challenges you face are exactly what make you stronger and more capable. Let's go!Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/430The Socratic Coaching Method Certification: thesocraticcoachingacademy.comFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheilMentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

We spend so much time telling ourselves how other people should act and it keeps us frustrated, anxious, and stuck. In this week's Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that expose this trap. One caller is constantly angry about her partner’s availability, the other worries that her friends aren’t putting in as much effort as her. Both show how our expectations about how others behave can hijack our emotions and cloud our judgment. Tune in to hear why trying to control or judge other people never works - and what actually does. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/429Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Ever feel like you’re constantly giving love, safety, or approval away, but never getting enough back? Today’s guest is Bea Albina, author of the brand-new book End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. We’re breaking down emotional outsourcing, the habit of looking outside yourself for validation, and how it secretly shapes your relationships, work, and sense of self.We dig into practical ways to reconnect with your body, notice what you actually want, and reclaim your inner authority. You’ll get tools to break patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism, shift how you relate to others, and start living from a place of self-trust rather than external approval.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/427Get Bea's new book here: beatrizalbina.com/bookThe Socratic Coaching Method Certification: thesocraticcoachingacademy.comFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheilMentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Ever been told to “just get over it” and felt like it made everything worse? In this week’s Coaching Hotline, I answer a listener who’s struggling with that exact phrase and the pressure to move on before they’re ready. We dig into why vague instructions like this don’t help your brain—and what actually does.I also tackle a question about imagined critics and the way we judge ourselves through faceless others. Tune in to reclaim your authority over your thoughts, and discover the tools to stop letting your brain run the show.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/427Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!