89. Finding Your Why with Alana Van Der Sluys

This episode is all about what happens when you combine years of working with people navigating eating disorders, a healthy dose of sarcasm, and way too many personal run-ins with perfectionism. I’m unpacking the idea I’m calling The Perfectionist Paradox—where striving for perfection actually gets in the way of the thing you’re trying to do well in the first place. Neat trick, right? Tweetable Quotes “Thinking about what you're afraid of can help us open the door to what is driving your perfectionism.” - Rachelle Heinemann “The perfectionism target is always moving, which means that you will never be able to attain it, and that’s kind of frustrating.” - Rachelle Heinemann “The idea of striving for perfection in some ways is trying to avoid imperfection, and that any sort of mistakes or flaws are just unacceptable.” - Rachelle Heinemann “One of the most important parts to understand about perfectionism is the illusion of control.” - Rachelle Heinemann “We are too busy focusing on how our body ends up looking... that we don’t focus on what it is like to actually get there.” - Rachelle Heinemann “Vulnerability is not only about sharing deep, dark secrets.” - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

Forget everything you think you know about eating disorders—this episode goes way beyond the old myths about "willpower" and "control." Today, we're digging into the real, science-backed roots of eating disorders with Dr. Erin Knopf: pediatrician, psychiatrist, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, and co-founder and chief medical officer of Very, a virtual outpatient treatment center delivering high-level care straight to your laptop. Dr. Erin Knopf is a board-certified pediatrician, adult psychiatrist, and child/adolescent psychiatrist as well as an IAEDP Certified Eating Disorder Specialist. Dr. Knopf completed residency training at the University of Kentucky in a combined residency program, the Triple Board program. She previously worked at The Eating Recovery Center and ACUTE Center for Eating Disorders. She is co-founder and Chief Medical Officer of VERY | Virtual Eating Recovery for You, an outpatient virtual treatment option dedicated to individualized care and grounded in weight-inclusive, trauma-informed, and gender-affirming principles. Tweetable Quotes “Binge eating is not just about being undisciplined or impulse control issues. It is actually based in restriction.” - Dr. Erin Knopf “You have to be intentional and really look for ways to create balance.” - Dr. Erin Knopf “It's[SSRIs] not necessarily causing any damage or harm, but it’s certainly not going to give them the benefit that they are waiting for.” - Dr. Erin Knopf “There is no medication I can give to make the “nutritional restoration process”, weight gain happen with just a pill. There's no such thing.” - Dr. Erin Knopf “Health biometrics are so much better looked at from a vitals perspective, lab perspective, functionality perspective, quality of life too.” - Dr. Erin Knopf “ There's so many questions when it comes to medications and eating disorders, especially because there isn't a clear cut answer. It’s just not that simple.” - Rachelle Heinemann  Resources Connect with Dr. Erin Knopf here! Connect with Dr. Erin Knopf on Instagram! Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]  

In this episode, I’m diving into the messy and complicated cycle of restriction and bingeing—not just with food, but with all the things we tell ourselves we shouldn’t need. Why do we do this? How does it backfire every time? And more importantly, how do we break free? Tweetable Quotes "You can't just ignore your needs and wants forever. That's when this moment of lapse of judgment, the binge, whether it's money, food, sex, anything under the sun, comes in." - Rachelle Heinemann "Food is inherently soothing." - Rachelle Heinemann "How did it come to be that the only way that you know how to deal with your emotional pain is with food?" - Rachelle Heinemann "There’s something about acknowledging, “yeah, I actually do need this”, which is the hardest part of it, but also the thing that allows us to actually have it and feel good about it eventually." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources  Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out!  Grab my Journal Prompts Here!  Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat!  Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

In this episode, I sit down with therapist and author Ilene Fishman to explore what it really takes to achieve lasting recovery. We dive into the complex, sometimes uncomfortable truths about healing from an eating disorder, the importance of self-compassion, and why true freedom goes beyond simply “eating normally.” Ilene V. Fishman, LCSW, ACSW, FAED, has maintained a general psychotherapy practice specializing in the treatment of eating disorders for more than 40 years in both Montclair, NJ and New York City. Ilene helped found NEDA, serving on its Board of Directors for over a decade. She then served on the board of ProjectHEAL. Ilene speaks widely as an expert on the subject of eating disorders and is the author of the book, THE DEEPER FIX. Note: The podcast is off for the next two weeks! We will be back on April 22nd, with a new episode! Tweetable Quotes "I don't wanna keep people comfortable. People will talk about, ‘Oh that therapist was so nice, she was such a nice person.’ But did you get better?” - Ilene Fishman "If we avoid our pain. If we don't suffer constructively, productively, then we're blocking ourselves." - Ilene Fishman "Tell your therapist everything. Try to find a therapist where you can say, 'I'm afraid to start therapy with you, and these are the reasons I'm afraid.' Let's talk about it." - Ilene Fishman "It's about taking the risk and being afraid and not really knowing what's gonna be on the other side and doing it with somebody who's gonna, who's gonna hopefully catch you, but that you need to do it scared." - Rachelle Heinemann "Good therapy should be growthful and empowering." - Ilene Fishman "Recovery is so worth it." - Ilene Fishman Resources Connect with Ilene Fishman Here! Find Ilene Fishman on Instagram Check out Ilene’s book: The Deeper Fix: For Your Growth and Empowerment Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat!   LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]  

When it comes to exercise and movement, we believe it is this wonderfully balanced, healthy thing, right? But for a lot of us, it’s… complicated. Maybe you feel like you have to move or else your anxiety will skyrocket. Maybe you mentally calculate every bite of food and match it with a “required” workout. Or maybe you find yourself hitting the gym even when you're sick, exhausted, or, oh—I don’t know—literally injured. Sound familiar? Tweetable Quotes “It wasn’t about enjoying movement—it was about earning my food, controlling my body, and never feeling like I was doing enough.” - Rachelle Heinemann “At some point, I had to ask myself—am I moving because I love it, or because I’m afraid of what happens if I don’t?” - Rachelle Heinemann “The truth is, over-exercising isn’t healthy. It’s just another way to punish yourself under the disguise of ‘discipline.’” - Rachelle Heinemann “Recovery meant redefining movement—not as a requirement, but as something I get to do, not something I have to do.” - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

You know that feeling when you’d rather do literally anything than sit with your own emotions? Like, suddenly, cleaning out your junk drawer or reorganizing your spice rack sounds way more appealing than dealing with that uncomfortable feeling creeping in? Yeah, we’ve all been there. The truth is, our brains are wired to avoid pain and chase comfort—it’s a survival thing. The more we run from discomfort, the stronger it gets. It’s like that pushy friend who won’t take a hint and just keeps showing up. In this episode, I’m joined by Jenna Hollenstein for a second time! Jenna Hollenstein, MS, RDN, CDN, is an anti-diet dietitian-nutritionist, certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, speaker, meditation teacher, and author of five books, including Eat to Love and Intuitive Eating for Life. She blends Intuitive Eating with mindfulness to help people transform food and body shame into joyful eating and movement. Tweetable Quotes "We are not machines that are going to operate exactly as we want to operate." - Rachelle Heinemann "It takes a fair amount of mindfulness to say, I'm struggling right now. And I'm going to do my best to show up to what I had planned to do." - Jenna Hollenstein "We have to build the muscle of being with discomfort, and part of how we do that is by allowing ourselves to experience discomfort." - Jenna Hollenstein "Sitting with your emotions doesn’t mean you have to like them—it just means you stop running from them." - Jenna Hollenstein "Your brain thinks it’s protecting you by avoiding discomfort, but all it’s really doing is delaying the inevitable." - Jenna Hollenstein "Growth doesn’t come from feeling good all the time. It comes from learning to be okay when things aren’t easy." - Jenna Hollenstein "If you never let yourself sit in discomfort, how will you ever build the resilience to handle hard things?" - Jenna Hollenstein "Most of the time, the thing we’re avoiding isn’t actually as bad as we’ve built it up to be in our heads." - Jenna Hollenstein Resources Visit Jenna’s Website Here! Connect with Jenna on Instagram! Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Learn about our 6 week body image group! If you're interested, send an email to me ([email protected]), or you can book a call with Sydney to see if this would be a good fit! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

People like to say that OCD and eating disorders go together. They even sometimes like to use fancy words like “co-ocurring.” Then they talk about how OCD can explain the development of ED symptoms and sit back triumphantly as if they’ve solved the world's toughest rubik’s cube. Satisfying, right? Meh, not really.. We’re setting the record straight and peeling back the layers on this so-called "connection" between eating disorders and OCD. Tweetable Quotes "If something is making us anxious, we really need to think about what about this particular thing is making you anxious." - Rachelle Heinemann "When we talk about eating disorders and OCD, there's so much overlap because the entire premise of most restrictive eating disorders that have to do with body image is, by nature, obsessive and compulsive." - Rachelle Heinemann "One of the most important pieces that you can give somebody who's struggling with this particular experience or a version of this experience is some space to ask some questions." - Rachelle Heinemann “Living in your head to the extent where you ruminate and obsess and are anxious 24/7, is incredibly distressing." - Rachelle Heinemann "Ultimately, this is one big mess and it is an incredibly distressing mess." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Learn about our 6 week body image group! If you're interested, send an email to me ([email protected]), or you can book a call with Sydney to see if this would be a good fit! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

Alright, let’s be real—working in the eating disorder field while navigating your own relationship with food? That’s messy. Like, “double-booked therapy sessions and forgot your coffee on the roof of your car” kind of messy. And yet, it’s something so many clinicians face but rarely talk about. So, let’s talk about it. Tweetable Quotes "There’s something particularly scary about being supported by someone who is really struggling." - Rachelle Heinemann "The moral of the story is to be the best clinician you can and try to keep your client's needs forefront, but also not make too many assumptions about them." - Sarah Rzemieniak  "People with eating disorders have a radar that is so on point, they can tell." - Rachelle Heinemann "We all have our blind spots, and we can only be as good as our ability to assess ourselves." - Sarah Rzemieniak  "We can’t do any good in this world if we don’t get the proper support." - Rachelle Heinemann "It’s not about whether a clinician can have lived experience; it’s about whether they can show up and hold space for their clients." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Connect with Sarah Here! Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Learn about our 6 week body image group! If you're interested, send an email to me ([email protected]), or you can book a call with Sydney to see if this would be a good fit! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!      LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]  

If you’ve ever talked about eating disorders for more than five seconds, someone always drops the classic line: "It’s not about the food; it’s about control.” Boom. Case closed, right? Well, not exactly. Because what does that even mean? Control over what? Your body? Your feelings? Your life? And why does control even matter so much? That’s where things get interesting. So today, we’re getting into it. Not in some vague, theoretical, “let’s throw around big words” way, but in a way that actually helps us understand what’s happening—whether in our own relationships with food or in the work we do with others. Tweetable Quotes "Eating disorders are not about the food. It's about something deeper." - Rachelle Heinemann "Eating disorders are ways to moderate our emotions." - Rachelle Heinemann "One of the biggest, most important questions to ask is, ‘I know which emotion I'm feeling now, am I allowed to [feel it]?’”- Rachelle Heinemann "Building up your tolerance for experiencing parts of your emotional experience will actually help you bring up your tolerance overall of emotions." - Rachelle Heinemann "There is a big difference between acting out anger and saying it in words. - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Bergen Mental Health Group Inc. is hiring! If you think you’d be a great fit, check it out! Learn about our 6 week body image group! If you're interested, send an email to me ([email protected]), or you can book a call with Sydney to see if this would be a good fit! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]

Alright, let’s talk about self-esteem. Have you ever felt like you're just one awkward social interaction away from a full-blown identity crisis? Like, one unanswered text, one awkward pause in a conversation, or one unliked Instagram post, and suddenly you're spiraling into, "Does anyone even like me?” Well, welcome to the club—it's a big one. In this episode, I’m talking about self-esteem: what it really is, why so many of us struggle with it, and how it connects to our relationship with food and body image. Because let’s be honest, it's not about staring at yourself in the mirror and repeating affirmations until you magically feel worthy. Tweetable Quotes "We all, every single person, need to be seen, heard, accepted, and supported." - Rachelle Heinemann "In order to heal from an eating disorder and in order to develop some version of a healthy self-esteem, it's all the same idea—the acceptance that I am who I am." - Rachelle Heinemann "I take up space. I do have lots of flaws. Not everyone's going to like me, but I have to take up space." - Rachelle Heinemann "Self-esteem is about knowing the people who matter to you already, accept you and you know you're good enough the way you are without changing." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources We're hiring! If you think you could be a great fit, email your resume & cover letter to w.rachelleheinemann.com Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let’s chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit!    LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]