Two Cents gets Distracted - A Rugby Podcast

The second leg of the Nations Championship is underway, and this time the Southern Hemisphere boys have headed north to test their wares against the best the top half of the planet has to offer.All in pursuit of the prestigious Hemisphere Crown. Yes, that's actually what they're calling it. A trophy awarded to whichever half of the globe is better at rugby. Riveting stuff.The funny thing is, the two best teams in the world right now appear to be New Zealand and South Africa, but they can't even meet in the final because apparently geography is more important than rugby. Brilliant.Anyway, some rugby was played, and naturally, we watched it so we could talk absolute shit about it.🇮🇪 Ireland vs Argentina: Some thought this might be a close contest. Ireland clearly didn't get the memo and gave Los Pumas a proper hiding.🇿🇦 South Africa vs Italy: The Springboks absolutely demolished the Azzurri 66–7. A massacre of Roman proportions. Not since the Visigoths sacked Rome in 410 AD have the Italians taken a beating quite like it. And even then, the Visigoths probably showed more mercy.🇳🇿 All Blacks vs Scotland: The All Blacks returned to their northern holiday home, Murrayfield, where they've never lost to the Scots. Scotland showed plenty of fight, but the men in black (and white) eventually got the job done. A particularly emotional victory following the tragic passing of much-loved All Blacks head of security Logan Cadwallader. A massive effort from the boys under incredibly difficult circumstances.🏴 Wales vs Japan: Possibly the most entertaining game of the weekend! An actual contest, some decent rugby, and Wales managed to get the chocolates. Good on ya, Wales. You needed that.🇫🇷 France vs Fiji: The French got the job done, but what the hell is happening to Fiji? With Jake White's South African influence, the Flying Fijians are starting to look suspiciously like the Bulls. Structure? Discipline? Tactical rugby? Where's the glorious, chaotic Fijian madness we all fell in love with?!🏴 England vs Australia: We thought this might be the game of the weekend. We were wrong. Very wrong. The Wallabies were absolute dog's balls, and England barely had to get out of second gear. Spare a thought for the poor Australians who set their alarms for the middle of the night to watch that steaming pile of shit. Although, judging by the performance, most of the Wallabies appeared to have stayed in bed themselves.So who's actually going to win this thing? Is the Southern Hemisphere still the undisputed king of rugby, or can the northerners pull something out of their arses?We dissect the games, question the competition, make some questionable predictions, and, as always, get thoroughly distracted talking a whole lot of nonsense.A massive thanks to our sponsor, MaxLife Batteries, for keeping the beers flowing. Legends! maxlife.nz🍻Grab a beer and enjoy.#Rugby #NationsChampionship #AllBlacks #Springboks #SixNations #Wallabies #TwoCentsGetsDistracted

The Calm Before the Rugby Storm (and a Whole Lot of Bullshit)Not a huge amount of rugby has happened this week, but bloody hell, there's a lot about to happen!With the second half of the Nations Championship about to kick off, the Northern and Southern Hemispheres are preparing to go head-to-head in what promises to be an absolute feast of international rugby.This week on Two Cents Gets Distracted, we dissect the big questions. Who's got the best No. 6? Who's got the best of every other kind of six? Which teams are on the rise, which are heading backwards, and what would constitute a pass mark—or an absolute disaster—for each nation?We look ahead to some mouth-watering matchups, make a few bold predictions, and attempt to sound like we know what we're talking about.But with bugger-all rugby actually played this week, we also spend a considerable amount of time talking absolute bullshit.So, if you love rugby, questionable analysis, wild tangents and two blokes getting distracted by their own conversations, you've come to the right place.Grab a beer AND ENJOY

Well, well, well. Would you look at that? The All Blacks have gone and absolutely PUMPED the Wallabies. AGAIN.And my word, that first half was a thing of beauty.Champagne rugby. Free-flowing attack. Forward dominance. And a Wallabies defence that looked like it had collectively forgotten how tackling works.The All Blacks piled on 36 points in the first half, and just three minutes into the second, they'd reached 43! Arguably the best rugby we've seen from them under Dave Rennie. It was glorious.And at the heart of it all? BEAUDEN MOTHERFLIPPIN' BARRETT.The old boy turned back the clock, bagged himself two tries, silenced the doubters, and reminded everyone of a very important lesson: Form is temporary. Class is permanent. And that man is ALL class.But then... something happened.The second half arrived, the champagne went flat, the injury stoppages piled up, the TMO decided to get involved, and the Wallabies finally remembered they were allowed to play rugby too. What had looked like a potential cricket score turned into a slightly frustrating second-half slog.Still, a 43–21 thumping is a 43–21 thumping. We'll take it!We dissect the good, the bad, and the slightly baffling from another All Blacks demolition job.And, at long last, WE'RE TALKING WOMEN'S RUGBY!Ding dong! The Red Roses' extraordinary 41-match unbeaten run is OVER!Canada have finally knocked England off their perch with a historic 24–21 victory in Toronto, in front of a record-breaking crowd of 18,621 fans. An incredible performance, a dramatic finish, and exactly the sort of result women's rugby needs. We get stuck into what this means for the women's game.Plus, the usual collection of tangents, absolute nonsense, and questionable rugby opinions.Oh, and Mark has discovered the sound effects button on our recording software.God help us all.Anyway, grab a beer and enjoy

THE BLEDISLOE IS SAFE, BABY! 🏆🍻After weeks of doom, gloom, injuries, nervousness and general All Blacks-induced depression, we headed into the fortress that is Eden Park with the Bledisloe Cup on the line and absolutely no idea what to expect.Well, after a lightning start, a bit of a scare from the Wallabies up front, and some genuinely outstanding rugby, the All Blacks absolutely PUMPED the Aussies. And my God, we actually caught some aerial balls!That's right. AERIAL BALLS. IN THE AIR. CAUGHT BY ALL BLACKS PLAYERS. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!We won the aerial battle, dominated up front, and put together the kind of performance we've been crying out for. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, we're actually happy! And naturally, we've decided to sit down and talk about it.Which probably means nobody will watch this episode, because apparently you sadistic bastards only tune in when we're miserable. Not that many of you watch us anyway, but still. We appreciate the suffering.We break down the big win, look ahead to Bledisloe number two, talk our usual mountain of absolute bullshit, and bring back everyone's favourite utterly ridiculous game show: Post-Game Predictions of the URC!It's a rare episode featuring two relatively happy All Blacks fans. Make the most of it. Who knows how long it'll last?Grab a beer and enjoy! 🍻

Not a massive week of international rugby… so naturally, we got distracted.With not too much happening on the Test rugby front, we take a slight detour this week. There’s a bit of chat about the NRL Grand Final, a quick look ahead to the Bledisloe Cup, Ardie Savea signing with the Blues, and the growing excitement around getting back to Eden Park.But really, this episode belongs to you lot.We dive into a stack of listener questions covering everything from the very real financial struggles facing New Zealand Rugby, to what our try celebrations would look like if either of us ever managed to score one. Some questions get serious answers. Others… considerably less so.And before any of that, Tony takes everyone on an unnecessarily long journey through the mystery of a horrific smell that appeared in his car — and the increasingly desperate hunt to find out where the hell it was coming from.A quick warning: we had a couple of audio gremlins right at the start of this one. Bear with us for the first five minutes or so and everything sorts itself out.Grab a beer, send in your questions, and enjoy.

Australia did the unthinkable this week and beat South Africa.Yes, yes, we know — “it was basically a B team.” But it was still the team Rassie put out there to win the game, and they couldn’t get it done. So perhaps that much-vaunted South African depth isn’t quite as deep as advertised.There were still some seriously good players in that Springbok side, but throwing them all together and expecting instant cohesion proved a little ambitious.That said… they very nearly bloody won it anyway.Australia completely imploded late in the game, the communications at Optus Stadium completely shat the bed, Andrea Piardi appeared to spend half the match on the phone, and cards started flying out like it was Christmas. Four cards in a ridiculously short space of time somehow left Australia down to 11 men.South Africa naturally piled on the pressure, but somehow the Wallabies held on for what has to go down as both a famous win and one of the most farcical, entertaining and downright absurd games of rugby we’ve seen in a while.Elsewhere, we get into the newly named All Blacks squad. Frizell is back. Barrett is back. Darries — thanks for coming. Ruben Love has unfortunately done himself a mischief and is out, but overall the squad is looking pretty strong.And Australia suddenly don’t look like the easy beats some people might have expected either. Under Les Kiss, there are signs that something pretty interesting might be building.We talk about all of it, have a couple of beers, go wildly off topic and talk plenty of bullshit — exactly as you’d expect from Rugby’s Greatest Podcast.Grab a beer and enjoy.Two Cents Gets Distracted.

In another deeply upsetting week, the All Blacks blew their chance to square the Greatest Rivalry Series at 2–2 and were instead wholly and completely beaten by the Springboks, who deservedly wrapped things up 3–1.Much to our disappointment and dismay, the right team won.Despite what some might call a few 50–50 calls. Were they really 50–50 calls, though? Or is Tony just a bit sour? Who knows, really.Anyway, we go deep on the final Test, assess where both squads are at, lick our wounds, talk some bullshit, and then finally look beyond the Greatest Rivalry Series at what else is happening in the wonderful world of rugby.Hopefully, at some point soon, we can stop making thumbnails with sad faces. Getting a bit sick of this.Grab a beer and enjoy.Thanks to Severn River Rugby Football Club for the beers. https://www.severnriverrugby.org/

One of the most depressing weeks we’ve ever had to record Two Cents Gets Distracted.Soak it up, Springbok fans. Your team was better. You won the series in South Africa, and we are very, very sad.Despite a pretty decent effort from the All Blacks and a cracking start, the Springboks eventually proved their class — particularly at set piece, where we had absolutely no answers.And then came the moment.Will Jordan scores. For a few glorious seconds, we tasted hope. Joy. Possibility.Then it all turned to ashes in our mouths as we sat through perhaps the most painful 15 minutes of Springbok dominance imaginable, watching them completely take the game away from us.So, naturally, we talk about it. We unload. We grieve. We attempt to process what happened. It is a bitter, bitter pill to swallow.We also cover Argentina vs Australia — a draw that, from Tony’s perspective at least, was pretty hard to get too excited about after everything we’d just witnessed.And a massive thanks to Four Paws for sponsoring the NPC segment. What an absolute champion that bloke is.Grab a beer, Springbok fans enjoy our sadness, and let’s get into it.Masiev thanks Again to 4paws!!

A very sad week in the 2CGD household as the Springboks get up and beat the All Blacks in Test Two of the greatest rivalry in rugby.And, annoyingly, it was an absolute cracker.Two contrasting styles, two heavyweight teams going at each other, and another reminder of exactly why this rivalry is so bloody good. Unfortunately, this one didn’t go our way, which leaves the series locked at 1–1 and sets up a massive, mouth-watering Game Three — the unofficial decider at FNB Stadium in the Republic.Far more important, obviously, than that little moneymaker happening in Baltimore.We go deep on the second Test: where it was won and lost, what the Boks did well, what the All Blacks will be kicking themselves about, and what needs to change ahead of the big one.Tony also goes on a completely calm and measured rant about the outrage surrounding Dave Rennie having the sheer audacity to mention something to the media. We certainly can’t think of any other international rugby coach whose name begins with R who might occasionally use the media to apply a little pressure…Cough cough, Rassie. Cough cough.We also touch on the Lions v All Blacks opportunity that popped up during the week, start building toward the enormous third Test, and — because we’re nothing if not thorough — try not to completely forget about our friends in Australia and Argentina.The Wallabies are quietly putting together something resembling a winning streak. What a time to be alive.It’s a bit of a doozy.Grab a beer, settle in, and enjoy.

What. A. Weekend.The All Blacks have drawn first blood in the Greatest Rivalry Series, knocking over the much-vaunted Springboks in a result that has Tony desperately attempting to remain humble and gracious in victory. Unfortunately, humility has never really been his strong suit. Mark is much better at that sort of thing.And somehow, the All Blacks actually fucking did it.For long periods, it felt like the Boks had them under enormous pressure. The scrum was creaking, the high-ball battle was brutal, and physically South Africa seemed to have the upper hand. But instead of folding, the All Blacks did something we haven't seen nearly enough of lately: they played like an All Blacks team.They absorbed the pressure. They stayed in the fight. And when opportunities appeared, they absolutely feasted.Five tries to one tells part of the story, but the bigger story was efficiency. South Africa had pressure, territory and dominance in key areas, but couldn't turn enough of it into points. New Zealand, meanwhile, lived off scraps and somehow made every post a winner. Give them half a sniff and — by God — they took it.We break down all the ins, outs, heroes, concerns and glorious moments from Test One before turning our attention to Cape Town, where a wounded Springbok side will undoubtedly be waiting with violence in their hearts.It is going to be significantly harder.And yet...We're quietly starting to think the All Blacks might be able to fucking do this again.Plus, in considerably less important but equally satisfying news, Tony's North Harbour got one over Mark's Auckland in the Battle of the Bridge.The All Blacks win. Harbour win. Tony wins.It's all coming up Milhouse.Springbok fans: commiserations. We're trying not to be smug.Grab a beer and enjoy.