True Victory

*OPINION* Violent and aggressive acts toward women have become normalized in the mainstream porn industry. Why is this so appealing to the consumer? How much does shock and awe draw them in? It’s no secret that many co-dependent men have resentments toward women. They take rejection personally. They blame women for being a tease, playing hard to get, or “dressing too sexy.” They feel intimidated by confident, successful women. All of these ideas feed into an “Incel Mindset.” The more a man consumes porn, the more he will feel isolated, rejected, jealous, ashamed, and entitled. How much do these emotions keep an individual in a self destructive cycle?

*OPINION* The adult film industry is misogynistic to the core, but what about the other media we consume? Our culture is deeply impacted by the multiple forms of media, especially when it comes to gender roles and societal norms. This episode focuses on how cultural misogyny has impacted my personal upbringing; everything from teen movies and Rom-Coms to “the damsel in distress” and the “friend zone.”

*OPINION* It’s one thing for a commentator to critique a female led superhero streaming show. It’s another matter entirely when a commentator feels the need to compare the sexes to prove that women “have the better deal.” For women, is being cat called on the street really just a “mild annoyance?” No, they’re not just “unwanted compliments”, it’s called SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Additionally, women are more at risk of being sexually assaulted, more vulnerable to STDs, and more likely to be raising kids as a single parent. Do women truly “have the better deal?” To refer to these issues as “misfortunes” is textbook misogyny at its best.

Movies have the potential to shed a powerful light on social injustice, especially something as pervasive as child sex trafficking. What causes the demand for such a heinous crime? How do we fight it? Is it really about border control, political conspiracies, or organized crime? Will sting operations and incarcerations fix everything or is there something the everyday average citizen can do? Stop blaming the media for not “making you aware.” It all starts with taking ownership of our willful ignorance and indifference. Stop blaming the political party you don’t belong to. There are allies on BOTH sides. Oh yeah, and STOP WATCHING PORN. You’re feeding the demand by doing so. “Injustice ANYWHERE is a threat to justice EVERYWHERE.” -MLK

All of us are sinners, we ALL fall short. God (not our fellow man) is the author of our faith. Jesus said “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye?” Why is it so common for us Christians to judge so quickly? What about our OWN habits and behaviors? Do we recognize the injustices that we perpetuate in our culture? Who is primarily responsible for the abuse and the violence throughout the world?

The month of June often times becomes a month full of heated debates and polarizing arguments. What if our approach (as Christians) toward the LGBTQ community was led by compassion and gentleness instead of bigotry and mean-spiritedness? Is it possible to be inclusive toward someone even if you don’t agree with them or understand them? How would Jesus treat our LGBTQ brothers and sisters?

What does it mean to FORGIVE? Does it mean I have to trust? Why do we as MEN associate it with weakness and being soft? Doesn’t that just make me a doormat? Why does REVENGE sound so much more satisfying?

Why do I share? Why do I have a podcast? It started as an effort to share my recovery journey and give hope to those affected by porn addiction. The True Victory podcast is beginning to branch out and evolve to address any and every topic that involves ENCOURAGING, CHALLENGING, and EMPOWERING men to be better versions of themselves! Better men = A Better World “…All of us have the obligation to do whatever we are able to do to promote the welfare of our fellowman. If you love someone who is ruining his or her life because of faulty thinking and you don’t do anything about it because you are afraid of what others might think, it would seem that rather than being loving, you are in fact being heartless.” - William Wilberforce

Empathy. Self-Disgust. Remorse. Each of these are crucial components when making amends with a betrayed partner. Feeling guilt, self-pity, and regret are not enough. It takes effort, patience, and a willingness to take healthy risks. It’s not always easy to make amends, but the more thorough we are with our self-awareness and ownership, the greater the ability we have to maintain long term growth in restoring our relationships.

If you partner is unaware of your porn habit, does it still hurt your relationship? Do you find yourself being dishonest about other things? What unrealistic expectations do you have for your partner regarding sex and intimacy? Are you sure partner doesn’t wonder or suspect something? Do you want be a partner that keeps certain parts of themselves hidden or do you want to learn to be vulnerable, learn to heal, and learn to grow in your relationship?