153. Traction vs. Distraction with Nir Eyal

Most of us have experienced a significant amount of high stakes and low stakes negotiation in our personal lives, even when we don’t realize it.  Whether it is negotiating the terms of a contract with a client, negotiating bedtime with a child, or negotiating a better deal at the car dealership it can feel daunting.  Today’s guest, Fotini Iconomopoulos, best selling author of, “Say Less, Get More: Unconventional Negotiation Techniques to Get What You Want,” Fortune 50 advisor, coach, and speaker, brings her decades of impressive corporate experience and a ton of real world applicable advice to our conversation on the topic of Effective Negotiation.     Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com     The Opposite of Small Talk Live:  Live Podcast Event — The Opposite of Small Talk Podcast Kristy’s Work Journal:  Work Journal — Kristy Olinger Guest’s Website:  Home - Fotini (fotiniicon.com) Quiz:  What's Your Negotiation Style Quiz - Fotini (fotiniicon.com) TALK BIG QUESTIONS Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in real life. What has been the most difficult experience you’ve had with negotiation?  What has been the most rewarding?  Have you found yourself preparing for a negotiation beforehand?  Follow this conversation will you be more likely to psych yourself up and prepare ahead? What lessons or advice did you find most helpful from this episode’s guest?  

Ask yourself these questions:  First, what's something in your life, right now, that you've been avoiding or delaying due to fear?  Second question, If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do?   Today’s guest, Collin Henderson, author, Fortune 500 speaker, and highly respected coach, asks his own clients these questions regularly. He joins us on our latest episode, to discuss the topic of Nurturing a Growth Mindset.  During our conversation, Collin offers some advice and tools he’s learned through his work on himself; as a father of five children; and as a coach to clients including professional athletes.  He also shares helpful insight into how it’s never too early to start supporting children in building their own self confidence and self image and how it’s never too late for adults to do the work on themselves and rebuild or strengthen their own sense of self personally and professionally. Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com   Kristy’s Work Journal:  Work Journal — Kristy Olinger Guest’s Website:  MASTER YOUR MINDSET (thecollinhenderson.com) TALK BIG QUESTIONS Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in real life. Overall do you find your own self talk to be mostly positive, negative, or somewhere in between? Is there an experience growing up where you felt particularly supported by yourself or someone else in putting effort toward achieving a goal?  Do you think your current focus or mindset is helping or hindering you in achieving what you want?  

How many Mondays have you lived, how many Mondays do you have left?  It may be a provocative or even unsettling question for some, but today’s guest looks at it more as motivation over morbidity.  We speak to Jodi Wellman, author of the book, “You Only Die Once, How to Make it to the End with No Regrets,” on the topic of Making Friends with the Grim Reaper.  She discusses how taking inventory of her mother’s personal items, following her death, was a catalyst for writing her book as well as for her general outlook on life.  During the episode Jodi explains how facing the inevitability of death can really help us to live in the here and now and accomplish our goals. Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com   Kristy’s Work Journal:  Work Journal — Kristy Olinger Guest’s Website and Book Information:  Home | Four Thousand Mondays TALK BIG QUESTIONS Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in real life. Following this episode, will you “count your Mondays?”   Are you really present in your life currently or do you find yourself more stuck in the routine? If you sat quietly right now, like Jodi mentioned during the episode, what are some of the unfinished things you still want to accomplish?     

Most people are familiar with the saying, “actions speak louder than words.”  This week’s guest explains how your actions, facial expressions, and even the tone of your voice can communicate a lot about you to your colleagues, clients, friends, and acquaintances.  Blake Eastman speaks to us on the topic of Nonverbal Communication and its important role in both professional and personal life.  He emphasizes the importance of context in this essential form of communication; clears up some misconceptions related to the topic; and explains how video and audio playback are vital to his work. Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com   Kristy’s Work Journal:  Work Journal — Kristy Olinger Guest’s Website:  Nonverbal Group - Behavioral Research and Education   TALK BIG QUESTIONS Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in real life. Have you ever or would you consider recording yourself before a presentation, meeting or other work engagement in order to see how others see you? Was there something you heard in this episode that surprised you in terms of your communication style? Do you use or would you be open to using a journal or writing down your immediate thoughts following a professional engagement?  

As human beings we have many unique ways of communicating with one another including sharing some of our most personal thoughts, which when verbalized or written down can give others a deeper insight into who we are inside.  This week’s guest has learned, first-hand, and now teaches others that storytelling can be a powerful tool that each of us possesses, whether we know it yet or not.  Katherine Kennedy, a teacher, storytelling coach and author of the book, Speaking to What Matters: My story of learning how to share what’s inside, released in fall 2023, discusses with us the topic of The Act of Storytelling.  Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com Guest’s Bio:  TED Talk, Speech Coach, Storytelling (katherinekennedysf.com) Guest’s book:  Amazon.com: Katherine Kennedy: books, biography, latest update TALK BIG QUESTIONS Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in real life. Have you ever sat down and shared your story with someone else or had someone share their personal story with you?  If so, what changed following that experience? Is there someone in your life that immediately comes to mind who you’d be comfortable storytelling with? Are you someone who would consider telling your story in public or would you prefer to write it down? Have you ever asked a parent, grandparent, or relative to share their story with you?  If not, following this episode, would you now consider it in order to potentially strengthen that bond?  

It could be argued that at no other time in history has there been more external distractions in the average person’s daily life than there are today.  This week’s guest Nir Eyal, bestselling author, teacher, consultant, and lecturer, discusses his book, “Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life” as well as the topic of Traction vs. Distraction.  During our discussion Nir stresses the importance of the four strategies or principles that can help us break away from distraction, how to identify what it is we want to gain traction on in our own lives, the distractions getting in the way of this, and the internal and external triggers that may be bringing on those distractions.  Finally, he shares how making pacts with ourselves can be a powerful tool in taking that final step toward choosing your life. Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com Guest’s Bio:  Nir Eyal Official Site: Articles, Videos, and Newsletter (nirandfar.com)  Guest’s book:  Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life (nirandfar.com)  

To commemorate Juneteenth, we are rebroadcasting an episode that originally aired in December of 2021.   In this episode Danielle and Kristy talk with Janese Murray, a thought leader in the field of diversity and inclusion, about race in the United States. We touch on critical race theory; what it is, what it isn’t, and what you can do about it. We talk about why laws are important but not enough, and how personal stories can make big impacts in the hearts and minds of individuals. The outlook is optimistic, some days… but culture change is a long game and it can be tough to know if it's going well. Ironically, resistance can be a signal that we're on the right track.   Connect with us on Instagram: @theoppositeofsmalltalk

The month of June is upon us and with it brings many rites of passage including graduation season.  This episode is especially timely for new grads; anyone who may be looking to make a change in their career path; or even for someone who loves their current job and isn’t ashamed to admit it.  This week’s guest, Erika Ayers Badan, the first CEO of Barstool Sports and current CEO of Food52, as well as author of the new book, “Nobody Cares About Your Career,” available on June 11th, speaks to us on the topic of Career Fulfillment and Success.  She discusses how she embraces being a self described, career “nerd” who loves to work; explains how things like taking risks or experiencing failures, on your career path, can lead to growth and success; and offers some advice on navigating some of the more difficult and tricky things that come with a career – like the do’s and don'ts of socializing with coworkers or clients outside of work. Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com Guest’s Bio:  Introducing Food52's New CEO  Guest’s book:  Nobody Cares About Your Career (macmillan.com)  (Available June 11, 2024)   TALK BIG QUESTIONS Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in real life. Are you or have you ever been a “career nerd” like Erika and Kristy? What kinds of failures or struggles have you faced in your career that you think have helped you to grow? Have you ever chosen a career because of someone else’s influence or to gain the approval or praise of someone else?  

There are multiple good reasons to be funny at work; it’s proven to release stress, it inspires and motivates teams (according to research), and it’s well… fun. Listen to this episode to learn about different kinds of humor to start using at work and what to avoid.   WORK JOURNAL: Build a reflection habit that turns every interaction into an opportunity for growth. Find it >   Do you have a workplace communication question? Send Kristy a DM on Instagram @KO.Communication

Have you ever heard the saying, be your own biggest fan?  That type of self confidence and assurance can be attainable according to our latest guest.  In this episode, we discuss the topic of Gravitas: Living a Life of Self Assurance with entrepreneur and author, Lisa Sun.  Lisa shared how we can learn a lot from the self-confidence displayed by 5 year olds; we discuss the eight types of confidence “superpowers” and Danielle and Kristy’s results from the superpower quiz; and examples of ways in which we can do the work and reflection needed to shift our mindset and come to our place of personal gravitas.   Work with Danielle: If you are ready to start working with a life coach or just want to learn more about the impact that coaching can have in your life, visit Danielle's website at www.daniellemccombs.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session.  Work with Kristy: You can work with Kristy one-on-one or hire her to speak with your team to improve workplace communication. Visit Kristy’s website at www.kristyolinger.com Guest’s website: ABOUT GRAVITAS (gravitasnewyork.com) Guest’s book:  Gravitas: The 8 Strengths That Redefine Confidence: Sun, Lisa: 9781401972530: Amazon.com: Books TALK BIG QUESTIONS Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in real life. Is there a time in your life, so far, where you’ve felt the most self-confident? Do you feel more or less confident than you felt 10 years ago? Do you feel less confident in a room full of strangers or a room full of friends?  Why? Are your closest friends, ones that you share values or demographics with?