The Kink Perspective

On today's show, I'm talking about how the roles we identify with can become so important that we struggle to accept changes in ourselves. I'll explore the psychology of identity rigidity, personal expectations, and shame, and how protecting an established identity can begin affecting our relationships. We'll also examine how people can adapt to changing circumstances without abandoning the values and experiences that helped shape who they are.This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Roles #Identity

On today's show, I'm joined by BuiltThroughHeat as we continue last week's discussion about men speaking up and holding other men accountable. We explore how individuals establish authority and influence within BDSM communities, why early warnings are often overlooked, and when men decide to intervene. I also introduce my four-level observational model as we discuss recognizing concerning patterns before serious problems emerge.Fet profile - @BuiltthroughheatContinue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Men #Change #Speakingup

On today's show, I'm discussing what happens when men speak up about problematic behavior from other men, only to find themselves criticized, dismissed, or attacked for doing so. We regularly hear demands for men to hold one another accountable, but what happens when the people raising concerns become the targets themselves? I'll be looking at how popularity, community loyalty, and social pressure can discourage intervention, even when earlier warnings later prove justified.This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Accountability #Speakingup #Men

On today’s show, I’m discussing what happens when drop, attachment, and real changes in someone else’s behavior start feeling almost impossible to separate. We’ll look at why intense scenes can leave us more emotionally exposed, how uncertainty can change what distance means, and why not every uncomfortable feeling is just in our head. The question is simple: what changed in me, what changed in them, or both?This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Drop

On today's show, I'm discussing the difference between a safeguard and a wall, and how the things we build to protect ourselves can sometimes begin keeping connection out. I look at boundaries, vetting, trust, and what happens when reasonable caution becomes a search for certainty. I also explore whether our safeguards are helping us decide who to let closer, or making sure we never have to decide at all.This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Safeguard #Walls #Boundaries

On today's show, I'm talking about classical conditioning and how we learn to respond to certain cues. I look at how those associations develop in kink and relationships, and what happens when their meaning changes. I also discuss whether learned responses can change and what that might look like.This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #conditioning #ques

On today's show, I'm talking about what happens when fear starts influencing the power inside a D/s dynamic. I look at how obedience, control, service, and responsibility can still look exactly like the roles we chose, even when the reasons underneath them begin to change. I also get into what happens when saying no, disagreeing, or changing what we need starts feeling like it could cost us the relationship.This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Fear #Relationships

On today's show, I'm talking about chronic shame and what happens when it stops being about something we did and starts shaping how we see ourselves. I get into how those judgments become internalized, how they can attach themselves to desire and kink, and why feeling accepted does not always mean the shame is gone.This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Shame #Identity

On today's show, I'm talking about how kink changes as we age, and what happens when the roles, desires, or identities that once fit us start to shift. I’m also looking at the physical changes that come with time, and whether adapting means we are losing part of ourselves or simply becoming more honest about who we are now.This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Aging #Time

On today’s show, I’m talking about race play and what it actually is. I’ll look at its history, why some people are drawn to it, and how consent changes the discussion. I also want to look at what gets missed when the subject is reduced to Black and white dynamics. And finally, where personal objection ends and control over other adults begins. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackI have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.#Psychology #Power #Race #Consent