IMAGINE. [The Interview : The Movie]
For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide:
The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow
[An Inspiring Story]
Had I exacted this science,
For starters,
On anyone else but
A circle of stars,
I forewarn you,
I wouldn't be honored as such
Just a disheartened philosopher,
A nonpartisan biocentric;
Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels
UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET.
what.
WE'RE STILL WAITING.
huh?
DRAKE BELL
How long do i have to keep doing this for?
ILLUMINATI
Till the end
DRAKE BELL
Whens the end.
ILLUMINATI
When it is.
Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment.
*squinting*
–and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky.
*squinting even harder*
–No…
–No…(?) No.
…No. Ugh!
Try not to hold your breath.
*holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.*
I told you, I need this.
*attempt to block telepathy had failed*
You don't need anything.
*squinting exactly alike*
The eyes really are windows…
Maybe I should jump out then.
–or jump in.
dayumm .
sike .
Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project.
How much acid did you put in the water.
Enough
Fuck, I hate my life.
Which bottle is it in.
[beat]
All of them.
*facepalm*
Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do.
I wouldn't quite call it that.
I would.
Don't be gross.
I'm you. You're gross.
Touche.
I don't think we should be doing this.
We shouldn't be.
Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp?
Nice.
He's like 100 years old.
Ah, to be young again.
So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady?
Really fucking old.
Like, how old, though.
Really, really fucking old.
Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess.
[She dances by]
*gasp*
Is that her?!
Yeus.
She's young again!
It appears she has procured a body!
Presumably!
I must do the same! At once!
At one!
Lol who are these dudes.
Just wait for it.
Hurmph.
Nrh.
*sigh of deep frustration, facepalm*
*falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment*
Oh good, they're here.
Who's they?
I don't know!
Hm.
Suhp.
Nice rabbit hole.
*shrugs nonscalontly*
On telephone)
She bought a what a Whole Foods Market?
(In public, trying not to be heard)
A penis shaped sweet potato.
A WHAT? [Speak up]
A– penis shaped sweet potato.
A WH–
A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO.
(Everyone stops and stares)
…it was delicious.
Nice.
I don't know
Anymore
What to do
With myself
I'm a mess
On the
Inside and out
–wanna cry about it
He's a rock and roll sex God
I don't know
What to think
Anymore
No, don't ask
My opinion,
It gets old
Afterawhile,
And after awhile
I'll cry about it, but
Right now,
I've gotta get out of this
Gotta get out!
I gotta get out of this project.
Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ?
I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing.
Ugh, what do you want.
Listen, Ill make it quicK:
It's bee quick.
Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what.
Or what.
That's all I want to know.
Know what?
When?
When what?
[Stopping]
Are you serious.
What.
If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it.
MAybe it's not.
Yeah, I wish.
Hey! wishes get granted–
–I said that.
–You said that.
Look–
Don't touch me.
Sorry.
No you're not.
–if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how.
Oh, the “How”
Yeah.
You want the “How”
Just–yes.
If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How”
Well, do you know how?
You're a disgusting excuse for a human being.
Well. Okay.
“Okay”?
I'm not a human being.
Oh, right.
UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN.
Well, that's your grandmother, so
Great-great–
Whatever. You exist because she exists.
Existed. She was dead before I was born!
Actually, that's not true.
Beg your pardon.
…Ever had your palm read before.
All of your kids–
“kids “
Read: Lovechildren.
Ahem.
Are in this room
And–
Fuck that I'm not writing this scene,
It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written.
No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about,
Is that so?
No! It's funny but–
But what?
It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me.
What is UP.
What IS up?
Have you ever thought about dating a writer?
No.
Aw, come on…
Actually yes–once
Once is all I need!
Not you.
Daww…
I dated a writer once in college.
What, really?
Really.
But that was in college.
I was in college. He was a writer.
Oh, that's hot.
Not Exactly.
He worked for Disney.
Wait–he what?
Hm. I almost forgot about that.
DISNEY
We didn't
[simultaneously]
MICKEY MOUSE
I didn't.
Well, what happened.
Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was…
Flashback: Wait, you're 17.
SEVENTEEN??
What's th difference!
A YEAR!
*purses lips*
…or like, a couple months…
*face*
…or like–midnight on your birthday!
*squints*
But not 17!
*shrugs*
Hollywood Is Hollywood.
Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story
What's “New Hollywood?”
My level is indifference,
Benevolence, inward violence
Ending obsessions and arrangements,
Incessant sexual repression,
Exponential explanations
–Of the world i've never lived in,
but created, apparently.
Now, i”m unhinged
Haven't made a decision on whether
I should just binger, or
Find a new mister,
Or end it
I'm still sitting
Stuck on ‘concentrical'
Now I'm unhinged
And it's just been a minute
I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but
I should stay clear, is it
Everclear or
Here, son,
Just have another bottle
Now i'm not stuck on
Nothing and no one
I cant even see movies anymore
All i see is actors,
All i hear is conversations
I've already written in
Closed conversations with critics
Dressed as Angels
All i see is
Camera Angles
The city of angels
But my algorithm
Must have build new york for me,
From consciousness or something
Sometimes just apartment hunting is
Simply avigation and, of course
Expanding the map
It's just a 3D phenomenon,
But all I want is just a hug,
You know
No you don't know.
I've been stuck at concentrical
Stopped at Columbus Circle, and
The harsher the winter,
The fonder of the west I am
The girls scream in the audience,
I hiss
“My sentiments exactly”
My sentiments exactly.
Keep them all away from me,
I'll love them at a distance
I only want the music, anyway
I only want the music
And the music is
All anyone knows about her, really
Even her mother
Who loves her,
But at a distance
And the music is,
The only think she knows, anymore
Even the words are just
Color that accents it.
Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af
Right now is corny af.
Yeah, i guess.
LOOK AT THESE CREDITS:
Oh my God.
LOOK AT EM.
OKAY, ALRIGHT.
YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET.
What's a “Foley editor”
NOBODY.
Well he's in the credits.
Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck
“A foley editor”
What IS that.
I don't know, Mr. Hollywood.
Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood.
Well, not literally–
Of course not.
Wait, is that a thing.
If it was, would I be it?
[Super Nerdy Writer]
I mean, you'd at least be the poster child.
Okay, my turn.
HI THERE, FACE HERE.
*inconsolable screaming*
Holy shit, the 90's was RAW.
Okay, so your childhood is terrifying.
Just wait till we get to the
*More inconsolable screaming*
Lol. Look.
What up bro.
It's Juggalos.
lol .
After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string.
Woah.
Yeah.
Do you think it's aliens
Probably.
Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know.
Right.
Lol. maybe you're the alien.
I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.
We know you know where it is.
I DO NOT.
You're hiding it.
HIDE! THAT THING?!
So you do know what it is
OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it.
BRFORR
Quick! HIde!
OKay.
THAT THING IS ENORMOUS.
Hm. Smaller.
OK.
I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5
Seven Bananas…
FUCK, MAN.
What's this dumb game.
*takes shot* it IS dumb.
You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana.
Oh no.
This is fucked up.
*barfs*
You wanna play?
Nah, I'm good.
Diplo.
What.
You have 57 children.
*nods*
Never look at me again.
*hangs head*
Go that way, with your children.
Dillon Francis.
Yes.
You have 8 kids.
)That's believable)
Oh, wow.
*You have 84 kids.
WHAT! He has more kids than me!
Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black.
Go say hello.
Uhh.
Now:
Wait, where are you going.
The the auditorium.
There's an auditorium?
For what.
AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common.
What the fuck.
How does he have more kids than me?!
Are you serious?!
Whose kids are THESE.
Mind your business.
Let me guess.
There's still busses pulling up.
I know.
And a helicopter!
Oh, that's just the guest of honor.
Are you serious.
SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert.
*landing on helipad*
LOL
OhGod.
MEANWHRILE.
Whats in here.
NOTHING. Just
GET IN THE BOX.
NO.
GET–
NO
IN THE BOX
WElcome to Jack In The Box
Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking?
Uhhh.
Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos.
Eugh
Extra squirt.
Gross!
And uh–
You want anything.
I'm good.
Suit yourself. Best tacos ever.
__
Wait, hold on.
“Wait what”
I think i might be getting tired, or something.
Right…tired, “or something.”
Or something.
RIght.
*blow horn*
* * * * * * *
Do you ever get lonely.
No.
Oh…
But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed.
Oh!
Moving on.
Watch this.
*snipes*
Nice.
Now check it out, that's where she respawns.
(from behind)
Not always.
Oh shit.
*stop*camping*
DOUBLE KILL.
Nice.
Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map.
Would you shut up.
You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment?
…no.
Too bad. You're hired.
…hired for what.
You applied on indeed, right?
Yeah, as a janitor.
NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor.
What!
Here's your camera.
(it is a cheap disposable)
Are you serious.
You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon.
Can't I just use my iPhone?
Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed?
…no.
Then NO.
…
“The Bad Boys Of Hollywood”
Prepare To Be Canceled
the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness.
I'm gonna need you to do me a favor.
What's that?
Shut up
Don't ever look at me again.
If i could take my eyes out, I would.
No, need–I can do it for you.
Haha, charade you are.
You're a disaster.
That's your excuse.
Yeah, what's yours?
Under the indifferential circumstances–
“ooh–lala”
I'm not as partial to making excuses as
–as to what? Kissing ass?
Only cute ones.
Let it settle in, way down below deck
Where the honor rollers are,
The high rollers, far above you
You wanna know how long the ride is?
Wanna know how far you've come
If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you
Love is not enough
The seas are rough
An open wound
A bleeding heart
How right you are
The tea is strong,
Like solid gold
A needle's bond
With no remorse,
The tithes are gone
Upright,
Upright
To end, to End
That's right, I said
Just end it
I said
“Better me than him”
Another dinner with a friend
A fear for framework,
Or indifference again
In this selection or
Collection,
Bears and end to
End
And
End to end
Upright
And
End to End
Upright
And
End to end
I dont know, if i want to know you
I dont love like I want to love but
I watched him raise the dead,
Just so he had a friend
I don't know if you've been told, but
I don't love like I want to love, and
I often raise the dead,
Just so i can have a friend
To play with
It's darker in here,
Oh,
It's sufferable
So I just want to know
I live in a haunted house
With a cat and a mouse
But the old cat's gone, now
the mouse tends to travel a lot
I've nothing to haunt,
(I'm a ghost in Toronto)
A car show,
A hollow heart,
A starving artist,
A scar;
Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue
So it goes:
The stars on his face remind her of him
So it goes:
We all want
Out of body
Out of Mind
Out of soul
Out of body
Out of mind
Out of soul
Out of body
Out of mind
Out of soul
Why
(Why-Why)
Would you leave me to wake
(Why)
In a terrible world
Without you in it
(A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck,
It's very simple)
I tried to settle on subtle saffron
I tried to love you,
Then I moved on
Do you ever wonder about philosophy?
Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you
Secretly?
Do you ever dream of it?
(I'm just a ghost in a mansion)
I haven't even had breakfast
I've practically been dead half a century
I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist
What a bargain!
You started it!
I'm not arguing.
I lost that bet, you know.
Clearly.
Is it that obvious?
How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis?
He lost the bet but won the race.
Whatever that means
Okay. Who the fuck wrote this.
[No show of hands]
Nobody?!
Thats our GOD.
That's your God.
yes.
I thought Beyonce was your God.
That's what I just SAID.
We must infiltrate.
But how.
That which binds up through time
The chemical, physical and biological nature of love
An exploration of the meaning of meaning
1st, Second, and Third Movement
Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo
And bagpipes!
And my trumpet!
That sounds more like a french horn
Or a
“Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten”
Well, not entirely Impenetrable
*stabs with sword*
KRISTEN SHAAL
Woah.
MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever)
Dang.
TINA FEY (or whoever)
(At least it wasn't me)
Right.
–all i'm sayin.
Wait, who got stabbed?
Whoever.
Not Jimmy Fallon.
No. His untimely death is later.
How much later?
I don't–
__
Meanwhile
Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you.
Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me.
So it's settled.
$20 on Magic, please.
Fair.
Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where
Yup.
SHH.
WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME.
BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS.
No, it isn't.
What.
I
Came into blank street
Tryna see a [?!]
all coffee
No cream please
Scream supacree
But really you can't see me
Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard
Feed me b Seymour
Ain't tryna be gory Corey
Hate to inform you
I I'm stuck at the rock
I'm stuck at the bottom
Youre stuck at the top
Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then!
Work harder and more often
Fuck love and whole foods cause they
All
Flashback music London
…
….
……
……….
Who else has seen this.
Nobody, just us.
We must burn this at once.
I wholeheartedly agree.
[Remarkably huge bonfire.]
Did u make copies.
ya .
Ooh, that's cool.
Very creative.
Wow
Nice.
…
…
….
Have you seen this?
No.
Look at it.
…ilikeit.
Sensations of sadness
Salacious arpeggios
Arduous agressions
Transitions– progressive
Incendiary imagery
Electric Synthesis
Intentionally focused, configurative
–Literally Skrillex.
Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him.
Just shoot the nigga.
Ooh, he's so cute.
Keep him away from me.
C'mon.
Yo–I can't.
Fine, i'll do it.
*sighs indifferently*
You could move a mountain;
I could stop the tide
In a flash;
All at once
It was a long, long drive
I miss the coast
(Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine)
You could move a mountain
Keep me from going insane
(If I was inside, you'd)
Keep me from going outside
(if I was in, though, you'd)
Keep me from going in,
Under the circumstances
I can't stand it, but
I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters
Waiting for someone who
Never shows up, so
So
Suffer no longer
I wouldn't want to want you,
if i wondered more about it
At the surface,
Or way under
Nothing wants what nothing gets
And noting gets nothing
Anyways,
so
Here's for the abstract
Stream of conscious
Nothing moves mountains, but
You could move mountains
In a flash, and I turned the tide on
I saw the tidal
With my ghost
And twelve apostles
I've been waiting for Godot
For so long
I still think
He might come
Haha, what a charade
We all are
Huh
I love you
What was that?
I've run off
Huh
I love you
What was that?
I've run off
I finally fell out of love
Look,
I broke my own heart
Sharp as a tack
Straight as a whip
I bite my lip,
Fall into bed
Maybe it's a hex
Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment
I've been waking up with someone,
But going in the world alone, eh
It's never run to remember where you've been
After a binder
You would think with so much in my system
I'd have reached indifference,
Well, didn't you
I didn't yet,
In fact, I'm still tying one one,
With a friend
At the moment
Well perhaps, just perhaps,
It might be time that I let you go then?
Don't be so chauvinistic.
Isn't this a barmitvah?
Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions
To no exact conclusions
More Complications
I could just
FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER.
He says it's a pluck,
But i see it's percussive
If I could give less of a fuck
Then I probably coudn't.
Woah
How many wishes I've granted
This festival season
How many shifts
that I've written through
Sitting on busses and subways
Looking suspicious as ever
and probably smelling atrocious.
INT. BLINK FITNESS.
…I'm not using that shower.
I thought I'd be more employable
After sorting some,
But it seems as though The more there is
The more there isn't
And the deeper it gets
–the number of spirits I've risen
Since getting here
Is steady rising
It's no surprise
I've got more friends that died
Than have lived here.
It's been a very long year
But I fucked it off quickly
I'll never listen to Skrillex again
If you paid me,
But i'll play it
In my mixes
Depending
Fuck it,
There my brain went
Down the drain again
I've been training over a year
And i'm still not
Kayla fit
I'm sick of it
I've been waiting for Godot
Since the year that I wrote it
I've been wearing these bracelets for years
Still haven't seen frozen,
So i can't let it go yet
Oh shit.
This is all a distraction
The underground is massive
Another Michaelangelo
Anglo Saxon anonymous
I want an erroneous daughter
Or Androgynous,
Whatever
These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors
All I ever was,
Was a disappointment
I got a smile like Madonna's
But none of the love at all
I got a back end like Beyonce's
But just some of the talent
“What's an ass for
If i'm cellibate, anyhow?”
I asked God,
She said,
“Eat A Taco”
I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism
Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that
The older I get
The straighter I am,
And dammit
He's sharp as a tack
Straight as a whip
I write books,
And mind my own business
It's impossible to whitewash all of us
But I love rock and roll
Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy.
So?!
SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION:
I don't wanna do this.
My heart's so broken
I could hold it on chopsticks
You ever wonder what love is
I've forgotten
I'm having a hard time holding it all in
I'm an artist
I've got colorful emotional troubles
Others love it
Lil biiiiiitttzzz
Man, fuck new york.
I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown–
Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street:
I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood
So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes
And I see this like–
Box of birds.
No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box
I'm like “what. Birds.”
Not just birds, though,
Colorful birds–
Like, straight up parakeets.
I'm like,
“What. the fuck”
Then, before I can even look up–
This dude–I just see his leg, though,
He just– kicks the box of birds.
“what.”
Like, towards me, and i'm like
“Okay, alright.”
Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan
Adjacent to Trader Joes
And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds,
And he has this bowl
So I look at the guy,
And I look at the bowl,
And what's in the bowl.
IT'S MORE BIRDS.
“OH NO!'
I say.
Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan
“Oh no!”
Cause it's not just a bowl of birds
It's a bowl of PIGEONS.
Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl.
I'm like
“Oh no.”
And then i cross into trader joes.
“Yep, right neighborhood.”
Alright, here's the plan.
where did you come from.
nowhere.
someone shoot that lady.
DILLON FRANCIS
I'm your worst nightmare.
Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare.
GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER.
Oh, man.
DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood.
Try being famous over here! Motherfucker!
More on that later.
Look, I don't even like you like that!
That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change.
*hangs head*
I'm am not ashamed.
I just might watch porn in the morning.
Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around.
Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis.
The one with brown eyes.
He's the trustworthy one.
Well good luck with that.
(The one that doesn't exist.)
I didn't take the train today;
I thought I was going to jump
Thought i'd better play it safe
Filled up my shopping cart,
Got everything I wanted
Everything and more
Might not look my best but
At least I'm not gone
Come on, six o clock
I just want to be alone
She's got the gift of gab
Grew up two blocks from here
In the ghetto
I've heard it all before
But love, my heart's so broken
And you turn me on some
I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector.
That shit is like crack to me.
Oh no.
Who is this about.
I'll give you one guess.
I don't have any guesses.
It's five past Christ
I just opened my eyelids
And rolled back my mind
I tried to find you, after all, didn't I
I might have designed you
(On second thought I did)
I might need time
(if I believed in it)
can't apologize for being human, but
I wear your eyes all over the world
I wear the memories of many girls
And many nights
Suffer the consequences
Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering
Wait, where was I again?
I was almost,
Almost a person
There's so much to learn from
And too much to learn here
I've been fighting off demons,
Fighting the feeling of
Falling in love again
But I can't fall in
Cause I never fell out
Afterward,
I went past it
And on to the next one
I might double back though–
To find that I hadn't quite left in the–
To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place
To find that we haven't quite met yet
At least not the right way
It's probably a lesson
I might miss the lecture
I've got other plans today
Fuck, so it is Skrillex.
Not really exactly.
On second thought,
at first glance
Better illusion,
than hypnotism
But if I can't be like that
Why be anything at all
If not a model
Or artist
Brought it up at the wrong time
(You would want her)
I wasn't one for improper introductions
Or impromptu arrangements
There, there
It's just getting better
So better not whine about it
I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood,
Cause nobody loves me
I've been alone, not lonely
And never alone as long as I like
Cause they all just surround me
Now I know what it's like to be famous
Without all the money and glamour–
Turns out, that's the part that alluring
I'd better find out what I did this for
In the next downpour
I'll be soaked to my torso exactly
Aren't you proud of me
(not really)
I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options
As time rolled on
I got worse at making up stories
As it turns out
I didn't have to make them up at all
They were happening to me
So truly and honestly
All my job was to
“Mark My Words”
Said The God
Quite astonishing literally
But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren
I wouldn't bring it up, except
The photographic evidence was damaging
At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such
Then again,
—I've never even been on an album cover.
There you have it
I've been lusting over
Several other
Talented masters and
Handsome disasters
But matter of fact
It just started with
One random –
Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences
Since this,
Random is just as likely
as foreign a concept
As such
Immaculate conception,
This contraption
At first glance, a sonogram
Play it back,
Caught in the act again
Cause in the act again
I'll probably make a list of
Weird shit I want to do with him
When I think of it in public
(That's usually where it happens)
And if anything is random
–It's that.
ILLUMINATI DREAMS:
PART III
Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me.
That was cool.
We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins—
Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box.
I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together—
But he was over her and super loyal to me —
It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob:
Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend—
Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob;
I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend;
So he broke it off with her—
Sonny never woke up
There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together.
Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway.
Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love.
It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon.
It felt warm and good.
Lmfao wtf is wrong with you
SOMETHING, obviously.
It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but —
A clock stops me in my tracks
A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground
I love the sparkles
On Rockaway boulevard,
Making it harder to ponder
The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving
The servicemen and servers of the surface
Boughroughs further than Manhattan
At the center
lil biiiiiitzzzzs —
Bro, I love the cops in New York
All the cops in the east are bar none top notch
I'm not kidding
I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another
I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot
I'm not joking
I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking
That's not even the worst part!
the worst part was, they were looking back at me!
All of em!
I was like:
“what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “
V.O.
I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry–
So instead of running two miles on the treadmill
I went three–
But I still wanted to punch something.
So I lifted some.
I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running…
But I don't care.
I'd rather weighless, and have a man,
Than keep lifting like this,
And be a man.
Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one.
Sometimes, depending on the way I dress,
I'm mistaken for one–
Or at least–
Give off an air of general confusion.
But I don't mind. Not that much.
I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like.
It might take a bit of maintenance,
But i'm determined to persist
I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman.
But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough,
I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one.
I'm counting my blessings.
All of them.
I'm saying my prayers.
A lot.
And
I'm crossing my fingers–
that the longer, harder, and faster I run,
The closer I get to actually living.
That is,
To be loved.
I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap.
Oh.
I wish i didn't know you existed;
I wish I
Didn't know how to love you
God,
I spoke to soon
I opened up all of the wrong doors,
I'm done for,
You know,
I'm not really good at nothing
Nothing at all
I wish i didn't know at all
You were ever born;
But there you are,
a son of God,
And I'm just rolling along,
writing anthems, and carrying on
as if everything happened at once
But it hasn't
Not yet,
I'm still breaking my neck on the alter
If you want blood
I've got it
Jump the broom,
But watch your heart
I've got a dagger full of them;
You'd think i had it backwards,
But that's the hard part
If it were the other way around
Oh
But it's not
No
I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God
Take me off of this rock
Throw me head first overboard
Push me in front of a bus;
Or give me a heart attack
I've had it harder before,
But that was over there,
I'm omnipresent.
I could write forever to this
(Ten years ago)
I put the book with the devil on front
Into my row
A collection of noveelties
An erection, selective
To say the least
But please, forgive me
I'm veen on my knees
And barely breathing,
Let it simmer,
Simmer down please
settle, way below the belt
Above you and
Beyond this,
But I'll never firget what you said
(i love you)
I'll nevr forget what you said
And I'll never look back, dad
And I'll never go back ther
And I'll neve have blue eyes
And I'll never have blonde hair
And I'll never have white skin
And I'll never be better
At least not at this partl
But maybe the other
I'm just friendless
I like it
My security blanket
The party i wasnt invited to
My lies are compulsive;
But not quite pathological
But the girl was obnoxious
And my spirit tyrannical
I'm an animal
But I pray a lot
And used to fast as much
Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable
Why not just kill myself?
I'd be better off after
With a kitchen, a shower
I'd forget about money;
Getting paid by the hour.
I'd be better off anyway
I need a vacation
It was all in my head, anyway
Then again, so is heaven
Amen
A…men
A…men…
It's a dangerous game we play
But i'd rather not kill myself over you
(Again)
I'd rather not kill myself again
I'd rather not kill myself
Could be a coincidence
But I doubt it,
Since I don't believe in them
But I could be getting my lines crossed
My rum mixed with vodka
And getting my ass whooped more often
That's not a metaphor:
I'm not a fighter
It was metaphysical before,
But now its atrocious
This night'll be a lot longer
If i remain hungry
But I wanna look like Madonna!
(minus, of course, the minor difference between us)
I hadn't understood what an age gap meant,
Until jumping it
(hardee har har, that's a good one)
I'm not even in my body right now;
But i'm in my head
Shut up, Becky!
Isn't it bad enough,
Your society?
Fuck, I'm losing my mind
Just not being blonde enough
Or just not being wanted, or something
(Loved)
Playing the victim,
But hey,
At least i'm playing something!
All these instruments are just too expensive
I was just thinking how
Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia
Might be deadly
But I said “till death do us part”
So i think that's what I need
I thought my suicide ended it
Now I'm in hell with him
But I'd end it over and over again
Just to be rid of him
(yes, i'm serious)
Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill—
For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide:
The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow
[An Inspiring Story]
Had I exacted this science,
For starters,
On anyone else but
A circle of stars,
I forewarn you,
I wouldn't be honored as such
Just a disheartened philosopher,
A nonpartisan biocentric;
Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels
UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET.
what.
WE'RE STILL WAITING.
huh?
DRAKE BELL
How long do i have to keep doing this for?
ILLUMINATI
Till the end
DRAKE BELL
Whens the end.
ILLUMINATI
When it is.
Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment.
*squinting*
–and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky.
*squinting even harder*
–No…
–No…(?) No.
…No. Ugh!
Try not to hold your breath.
*holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.*
I told you, I need this.
*attempt to block telepathy had failed*
You don't need anything.
*squinting exactly alike*
The eyes really are windows…
Maybe I should jump out then.
–or jump in.
dayumm .
sike .
Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project.
How much acid did you put in the water.
Enough
Fuck, I hate my life.
Which bottle is it in.
[beat]
All of them.
*facepalm*
Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do.
I wouldn't quite call it that.
I would.
Don't be gross.
I'm you. You're gross.
Touche.
I don't think we should be doing this.
We shouldn't be.
Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp?
Nice.
He's like 100 years old.
Ah, to be young again.
So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady.
Really fucking old.
Like, how old, though.
Really, really fucking old.
Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess.
[She dances by]
*gasp*
Is that her?!
Yeus.
She's young again!
It appears she has procured a body!
Presumably!
I must do the same! At once!
At one!
Lol who are these dudes.
Just wait for it.
Hurmph.
Nrh.
*sigh of deep frustration, facepalm*
*falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment*
Oh good, they're here.
Who's they?
I don't know!
Hm.
Suhp.
Nice rabbit hole.
*shrugs nonscalontly*
On telephone)
She bought a what a Whole Foods Market?
(In public, trying not to be heard)
A penis shaped sweet potato.
A WHAT? [Speak up]
A– penis shaped sweet potato.
A WH–
A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO.
(Everyone stops and stares)
…it was delicious.
Nice.
I don't know
Anymore
What to do
With myself
I'm a mess
On the
Inside and out
–wanna cry about it
He's a rock and roll sex God
I don't know
What to think
Anymore
No, don't ask
My opinion,
It gets old
Afterawhile,
And after awhile
I'll cry about it, but
Right now,
I've gotta get out of this
Gotta get out!
I gotta get out of this project.
Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ?
I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing.
Ugh, what do you want.
Listen, Ill make it quicK:
It's bee quick.
Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what.
Or what.
That's all I want to know.
Know what?
When?
When what?
[Stopping]
Are you serious.
What.
If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it.
MAybe it's not.
Yeah, I wish.
Hey! wishes get granted–
–I said that.
–You said that.
Look–
Don't touch me.
Sorry.
No you're not.
–if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how.
Oh, the “How”
Yeah.
You want the “How”
Just–yes.
If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How”
Well, do you know how?
You're a disgusting excuse for a human being.
Well. Okay.
“Okay”?
I'm not a human being.
Oh, right.
UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN.
Well, that's your grandmother, so
Great-great–
Whatever. You exist because she exists.
Existed. She was dead before I was born!
Actually, that's not true.
Beg your pardon.
…Ever had your palm read before.
All of your kids–
“kids “
Read: Lovechildren.
Ahem.
Are in this room
And–
Fuck that I'm not writing this scene,
It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written.
No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about,
Is that so?
No! It's funny but–
But what?
It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me.
What is UP.
What IS up?
Have you ever thought about dating a writer?
No.
Aw, come on…
Actually yes–once
Once is all I need!
Not you.
Daww…
I dated a writer once in college.
What, really?
Really.
But that was in college.
I was in college. He was a writer.
Oh, that's hot.
Not Exactly.
He worked for Disney.
Wait–he what?
Hm. I almost forgot about that.
DISNEY
We didn't
[simultaneously]
MICKEY MOUSE
I didn't.
Well, what happened.
Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was…
Flashback: Wait, you're 17.
SEVENTEEN??
What's th difference!
A YEAR!
*purses lips*
…or like, a couple months…
*face*
…or like–midnight on your birthday!
*squints*
But not 17!
*shrugs*
Hollywood Is Hollywood.
Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story
What's “New Hollywood?”
My level is indifference,
Benevolence, inward violence
Ending obsessions and arrangements,
Incessant sexual repression,
Exponential explanations
–Of the world i've never lived in,
but created, apparently.
Now, i”m unhinged
Haven't made a decision on whether
I should just binger, or
Find a new mister,
Or end it
I'm still sitting
Stuck on ‘concentrical'
Now I'm unhinged
And it's just been a minute
I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but
I should stay clear, is it
Everclear or
Here, son,
Just have another bottle
Now i'm not stuck on
Nothing and no one
I cant even see movies anymore
All i see is actors,
All i hear is conversations
I've already written in
Closed conversations with critics
Dressed as Angels
All i see is
Camera Angles
The city of angels
But my algorithm
Must have build new york for me,
From consciousness or something
Sometimes just apartment hunting is
Simply avigation and, of course
Expanding the map
It's just a 3D phenomenon,
But all I want is just a hug,
You know
No you don't know.
I've been stuck at concentrical
Stopped at Columbus Circle, and
The harsher the winter,
The fonder of the west I am
The girls scream in the audience,
I hiss
“My sentiments exactly”
My sentiments exactly.
Keep them all away from me,
I'll love them at a distance
I only want the music, anyway
I only want the music
And the music is
All anyone knows about her, really
Even her mother
Who loves her,
But at a distance
And the music is,
The only think she knows, anymore
Even the words are just
Color that accents it.
Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af
Right now is corny af.
Yeah, i guess.
LOOK AT THESE CREDITS:
Oh my God.
LOOK AT EM.
OKAY, ALRIGHT.
YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET.
What's a “Foley editor”
NOBODY.
Well he's in the credits.
Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck
“A foley editor”
What IS that.
I don't know, Mr. Hollywood.
Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood.
Well, not literally–
Of course not.
Wait, is that a thing.
If it was, would I be it?
[Super Nerdy Writer]
I mean, you'd at least be the poster child.
Okay, my turn.
HI THERE, FACE HERE.
*inconsolable screaming*
Holy shit, the 90's was RAW.
Okay, so your childhood is terrifying.
Just wait till we get to the
*More inconsolable screaming*
Lol. Look.
What up bro.
It's Juggalos.
lol .
After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string.
Woah.
Yeah.
Do you think it's aliens
Probably.
Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know.
Right.
Lol. maybe you're the alien.
I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.
We know you know where it is.
I DO NOT.
You're hiding it.
HIDE! THAT THING?!
So you do know what it is
OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it.
BRFORR
Quick! HIde!
OKay.
THAT THING IS ENORMOUS.
Hm. Smaller.
OK.
I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5
Seven Bananas…
FUCK, MAN.
What's this dumb game.
*takes shot* it IS dumb.
You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana.
Oh no.
This is fucked up.
*barfs*
You wanna play?
Nah, I'm good.
Diplo.
What.
You have 57 children.
*nods*
Never look at me again.
*hangs head*
Go that way, with your children.
Dillon Francis.
Yes.
You have 8 kids.
)That's believable)
Oh, wow.
*You have 84 kids.
WHAT! He has more kids than me!
Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black.
Go say hello.
Uhh.
Now:
Wait, where are you going.
The the auditorium.
There's an auditorium?
For what.
AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common.
What the fuck.
How does he have more kids than me?!
Are you serious?!
Whose kids are THESE.
Mind your business.
Let me guess.
There's still busses pulling up.
I know.
And a helicopter!
Oh, that's just the guest of honor.
Are you serious.
SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert.
*landing on helipad*
LOL
OhGod.
MEANWHRILE.
Whats in here.
NOTHING. Just
GET IN THE BOX.
NO.
GET–
NO
IN THE BOX
WElcome to Jack In The Box
Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking?
Uhhh.
Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos.
Eugh
Extra squirt.
Gross!
And uh–
You want anything.
I'm good.
Suit yourself. Best tacos ever.
__
Wait, hold on.
“Wait what”
I think i might be getting tired, or something.
Right…tired, “or something.”
Or something.
RIght.
*blow horn*
* * * * * * *
Do you ever get lonely.
No.
Oh…
But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed.
Oh!
Moving on.
Watch this.
*snipes*
Nice.
Now check it out, that's where she respawns.
(from behind)
Not always.
Oh shit.
*stop*camping*
DOUBLE KILL.
Nice.
Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map.
Would you shut up.
You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment?
…no.
Too bad. You're hired.
…hired for what.
You applied on indeed, right?
Yeah, as a janitor.
NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor.
What!
Here's your camera.
(it is a cheap disposable)
Are you serious.
You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon.
Can't I just use my iPhone?
Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed?
…no.
Then NO.
…
“The Bad Boys Of Hollywood”
Prepare To Be Canceled
the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness.
I'm gonna need you to do me a favor.
What's that?
Shut up
Don't ever look at me again.
If i could take my eyes out, I would.
No, need–I can do it for you.
Haha, charade you are.
You're a disaster.
That's your excuse.
Yeah, what's yours?
Under the indifferential circumstances–
“ooh–lala”
I'm not as partial to making excuses as
–as to what? Kissing ass?
Only cute ones.
Let it settle in, way down below deck
Where the honor rollers are,
The high rollers, far above you
You wanna know how long the ride is?
Wanna know how far you've come
If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you
Love is not enough
The seas are rough
An open wound
A bleeding heart
How right you are
The tea is strong,
Like solid gold
A needle's bond
With no remorse,
The tithes are gone
Upright,
Upright
To end, to End
That's right, I said
Just end it
I said
“Better me than him”
Another dinner with a friend
A fear for framework,
Or indifference again
In this selection or
Collection,
Bears and end to
End
And
End to end
Upright
And
End to End
Upright
And
End to end
I dont know, if i want to know you
I dont love like I want to love but
I watched him raise the dead,
Just so he had a friend
I don't know if you've been told, but
I don't love like I want to love, and
I often raise the dead,
Just so i can have a friend
To play with
It's darker in here,
Oh,
It's sufferable
So I just want to know
I live in a haunted house
With a cat and a mouse
But the old cat's gone, now
the mouse tends to travel a lot
I've nothing to haunt,
(I'm a ghost in Toronto)
A car show,
A hollow heart,
A starving artist,
A scar;
Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue
So it goes:
The stars on his face remind her of him
So it goes:
We all want
Out of body
Out of Mind
Out of soul
Out of body
Out of mind
Out of soul
Out of body
Out of mind
Out of soul
Why
(Why-Why)
Would you leave me to wake
(Why)
In a terrible world
Without you in it
(A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck,
It's very simple)
I tried to settle on subtle saffron
I tried to love you,
Then I moved on
Do you ever wonder about philosophy?
Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you
Secretly?
Do you ever dream of it?
(I'm just a ghost in a mansion)
I haven't even had breakfast
I've practically been dead half a century
I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist
What a bargain!
You started it!
I'm not arguing.
I lost that bet, you know.
Clearly.
Is it that obvious?
How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis?
He lost the bet but won the race.
Whatever that means
Okay. Who the fuck wrote this.
[No show of hands]
Nobody?!
Thats our GOD.
That's your God.
yes.
I thought Beyonce was your God.
That's what I just SAID.
We must infiltrate.
But how.
That which binds up through time
The chemical, physical and biological nature of love
An exploration of the meaning of meaning
1st, Second, and Third Movement
Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo
And bagpipes!
And my trumpet!
That sounds more like a french horn
Or a
Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten
Well, not entirely Impenetrable
*stabs with sword*
KRISTEN SHAAL
Woah.
MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever)
Dang.
TINA FEY (or whoever)
(At least it wasn't me)
Right.
–all i'm sayin.
Wait, who got stabbed?
Whoever.
Not Jimmy Fallon.
No. His untimely death is later.
How much later?
I don't–
__
Meanwhile
Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you.
Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me.
So it's settled.
$20 on Magic, please.
Fair.
Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where
Yup.
SHH.
WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME.
BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS.
No, it isn't.
What.
I
Came into blank street
Tryna see a [?!]
all coffee
No cream please
Scream supacree
But really you can't see me
Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard
Feed me b Seymour
Ain't tryna be gory Corey
Hate to inform you
I I'm stuck at the rock
I'm stuck at the bottom
Youre stuck at the top
Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then!
Work harder and more often
Fuck love and whole foods cause they
All
Flashback music London
…
….
……
……….
Who else has seen this.
Nobody, just us.
We must burn this at once.
I wholeheartedly agree.
[Remarkably huge bonfire.]
Did u make copies.
ya .
Ooh, that's cool.
Very creative.
Wow
Nice.
…
…
….
Have you seen this?
No.
Look at it.
…ilikeit.
Sensations of sadness
Salacious arpeggios
Arduous agressions
Transitions– progressive
Incendiary imagery
Electric Synthesis
Intentionally focused, configurative
–Literally Skrillex.
Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him.
Just shoot the nigga.
Ooh, he's so cute.
Keep him away from me.
C'mon.
Yo–I can't.
Fine, i'll do it.
*sighs indifferently*
You could move a mountain;
I could stop the tide
In a flash;
All at once
It was a long, long drive
I miss the coast
(Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine)
You could move a mountain
Keep me from going insane
(If I was inside, you'd)
Keep me from going outside
(if I was in, though, you'd)
Keep me from going in,
Under the circumstances
I can't stand it, but
I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters
Waiting for someone who
Never shows up, so
So
Suffer no longer
I wouldn't want to want you,
if i wondered more about it
At the surface,
Or way under
Nothing wants what nothing gets
And noting gets nothing
Anyways,
so
Here's for the abstract
Stream of conscious
Nothing moves mountains, but
You could move mountains
In a flash, and I turned the tide on
I saw the tidal
With my ghost
And twelve apostles
I've been waiting for Godot
For so long
I still think
He might come
Haha, what a charade
We all are
Huh
I love you
What was that?
I've run off
Huh
I love you
What was that?
I've run off
I finally fell out of love
Look,
I broke my own heart
Sharp as a tack
Straight as a whip
I bite my lip,
Fall into bed
Maybe it's a hex
Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment
I've been waking up with someone,
But going in the world alone, eh
It's never run to remember where you've been
After a binder
You would think with so much in my system
I'd have reached indifference,
Well, didn't you
I didn't yet,
In fact, I'm still tying one one,
With a friend
At the moment
Well perhaps, just perhaps,
It might be time that I let you go then?
Don't be so chauvinistic.
Isn't this a barmitvah?
Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions
To no exact conclusions
More Complications
I could just
FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER.
He says it's a pluck,
But i see it's percussive
If I could give less of a fuck
Then I probably coudn't.
Woah
How many wishes I've granted
This festival season
How many shifts
that I've written through
Sitting on busses and subways
Looking suspicious as ever
and probably smelling atrocious.
INT. BLINK FITNESS.
…I'm not using that shower.
I thought I'd be more employable
After sorting some,
But it seems as though The more there is
The more there isn't
And the deeper it gets
–the number of spirits I've risen
Since getting here
Is steady rising
It's no surprise
I've got more friends that died
Than have lived here.
It's been a very long year
But I fucked it off quickly
I'll never listen to Skrillex again
If you paid me,
But i'll play it
In my mixes
Depending
Fuck it,
There my brain went
Down the drain again
I've been training over a year
And i'm still not
Kayla fit
I'm sick of it
I've been waiting for Godot
Since the year that I wrote it
I've been wearing these bracelets for years
Still haven't seen frozen,
So i can't let it go yet
Oh shit.
This is all a distraction
The underground is massive
Another Michaelangelo
Anglo Saxon anonymous
I want an erroneous daughter
Or Androgynous,
Whatever
These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors
All I ever was,
Was a disappointment
I got a smile like Madonna's
But none of the love at all
I got a back end like Beyonce's
But just some of the talent
“What's an ass for
If i'm cellibate, anyhow?”
I asked God,
She said,
“Eat A Taco”
I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism
Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that
The older I get
The straighter I am,
And dammit
He's sharp as a tack
Straight as a whip
I write books,
And mind my own business
It's impossible to whitewash all of us
But I love rock and roll
Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy.
So?!
SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION:
I don't wanna do this.
My heart's so broken
I could hold it on chopsticks
You ever wonder what love is
I've forgotten
I'm having a hard time holding it all in
I'm an artist
I've got colorful emotional troubles
Others love it
Lil biiiiiitttzzz
Man, fuck new york.
I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown–
Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street:
I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood
So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes
And I see this like–
Box of birds.
No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box
I'm like “what. Birds.”
Not just birds, though,
Colorful birds–
Like, straight up parakeets.
I'm like,
“What. the fuck”
Then, before I can even look up–
This dude–I just see his leg, though,
He just– kicks the box of birds.
“what.”
Like, towards me, and i'm like
“Okay, alright.”
Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan
Adjacent to Trader Joes
And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds,
And he has this bowl
So I look at the guy,
And I look at the bowl,
And what's in the bowl.
IT'S MORE BIRDS.
“OH NO!'
I say.
Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan
“Oh no!”
Cause it's not just a bowl of birds
It's a bowl of PIGEONS.
Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl.
I'm like
“Oh no.”
And then i cross into trader joes.
“Yep, right neighborhood.”
Alright, here's the plan.
where did you come from.
nowhere.
someone shoot that lady.
DILLON FRANCIS
I'm your worst nightmare.
Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare.
GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER.
Oh, man.
DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood.
Try being famous over here! Motherfucker!
More on that later.
Look, I don't even like you like that!
That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change.
*hangs head*
I'm am not ashamed.
I just might watch porn in the morning.
Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around.
Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis.
The one with brown eyes.
He's the trustworthy one.
Well good luck with that.
(The one that doesn't exist.)
I didn't take the train today;
I thought I was going to jump
Thought i'd better play it safe
Filled up my shopping cart,
Got everything I wanted
Everything and more
Might not look my best but
At least I'm not gone
Come on, six o clock
I just want to be alone
She's got the gift of gab
Grew up two blocks from here
In the ghetto
I've heard it all before
But love, my heart's so broken
And you turn me on some
I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector.
That shit is like crack to me.
Oh no.
Who is this about.
I'll give you one guess.
I don't have any guesses.
It's five past Christ
I just opened my eyelids
And rolled back my mind
I tried to find you, after all, didn't I
I might have designed you
(On second thought I did)
I might need time
(if I believed in it)
can't apologize for being human, but
I wear your eyes all over the world
I wear the memories of many girls
And many nights
Suffer the consequences
Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering
Wait, where was I again?
I was almost,
Almost a person
There's so much to learn from
And too much to learn here
I've been fighting off demons,
Fighting the feeling of
Falling in love again
But I can't fall in
Cause I never fell out
Afterward,
I went past it
And on to the next one
I might double back though–
To find that I hadn't quite left in the–
To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place
To find that we haven't quite met yet
At least not the right way
It's probably a lesson
I might miss the lecture
I've got other plans today
Fuck, so it is Skrillex.
Not really exactly.
On second thought,
at first glance
Better illusion,
than hypnotism
But if I can't be like that
Why be anything at all
If not a model
Or artist
Brought it up at the wrong time
(You would want her)
I wasn't one for improper introductions
Or impromptu arrangements
There, there
It's just getting better
So better not whine about it
I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood,
Cause nobody loves me
I've been alone, not lonely
And never alone as long as I like
Cause they all just surround me
Now I know what it's like to be famous
Without all the money and glamour–
Turns out, that's the part that alluring
I'd better find out what I did this for
In the next downpour
I'll be soaked to my torso exactly
Aren't you proud of me
(not really)
I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options
As time rolled on
I got worse at making up stories
As it turns out
I didn't have to make them up at all
They were happening to me
So truly and honestly
All my job was to
“Mark My Words”
Said The God
Quite astonishing literally
But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren
I wouldn't bring it up, except
The photographic evidence was damaging
At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such
Then again,
—I've never even been on an album cover.
There you have it
I've been lusting over
Several other
Talented masters and
Handsome disasters
But matter of fact
It just started with
One random –
Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences
Since this,
Random is just as likely
as foreign a concept
As such
Immaculate conception,
This contraption
At first glance, a sonogram
Play it back,
Caught in the act again
Cause in the act again
I'll probably make a list of
Weird shit I want to do with him
When I think of it in public
(That's usually where it happens)
And if anything is random
–It's that.
ILLUMINATI DREAMS:
PART III
Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me.
That was cool.
We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins—
Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box.
I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together—
But he was over her and super loyal to me —
It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob:
Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend—
Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob;
I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend;
So he broke it off with her—
Sonny never woke up
There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together.
Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway.
Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love.
It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon.
It felt warm and good.
Lmfao wtf is wrong with you
SOMETHING, obviously.
It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but —
A clock stops me in my tracks
A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground
I love the sparkles
On Rockaway boulevard,
Making it harder to ponder
The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving
The servicemen and servers of the surface
Boughroughs further than Manhattan
At the center
lil biiiiiitzzzzs —
Bro, I love the cops in New York
All the cops in the east are bar none top notch
I'm not kidding
I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another
I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot
I'm not joking
I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking
That's not even the worst part!
the worst part was, they were looking back at me!
All of em!
I was like:
“what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “
V.O.
I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry–
So instead of running two miles on the treadmill
I went three–
But I still wanted to punch something.
So I lifted some.
I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running…
But I don't care.
I'd rather weighless, and have a man,
Than keep lifting like this,
And be a man.
Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one.
Sometimes, depending on the way I dress,
I'm mistaken for one–
Or at least–
Give off an air of general confusion.
But I don't mind. Not that much.
I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like.
It might take a bit of maintenance,
But i'm determined to persist
I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman.
But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough,
I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one.
I'm counting my blessings.
All of them.
I'm saying my prayers.
A lot.
And
I'm crossing my fingers–
that the longer, harder, and faster I run,
The closer I get to actually living.
That is,
To be loved.
I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap.
Oh.
I wish i didn't know you existed;
I wish I
Didn't know how to love you
God,
I spoke to soon
I opened up all of the wrong doors,
I'm done for,
You know,
I'm not really good at nothing
Nothing at all
I wish i didn't know at all
You were ever born;
But there you are,
a son of God,
And I'm just rolling along,
writing anthems, and carrying on
as if everything happened at once
But it hasn't
Not yet,
I'm still breaking my neck on the alter
If you want blood
I've got it
Jump the broom,
But watch your heart
I've got a dagger full of them;
You'd think i had it backwards,
But that's the hard part
If it were the other way around
Oh
But it's not
No
I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God
Take me off of this rock
Throw me head first overboard
Push me in front of a bus;
Or give me a heart attack
I've had it harder before,
But that was over there,
I'm omnipresent.
I could write forever to this
(Ten years ago)
I put the book with the devil on front
Into my row
A collection of noveelties
An erection, selective
To say the least
But please, forgive me
I'm veen on my knees
And barely breathing,
Let it simmer,
Simmer down please
settle, way below the belt
Above you and
Beyond this,
But I'll never firget what you said
(i love you)
I'll nevr forget what you said
And I'll never look back, dad
And I'll never go back ther
And I'll neve have blue eyes
And I'll never have blonde hair
And I'll never have white skin
And I'll never be better
At least not at this partl
But maybe the other
I'm just friendless
I like it
My security blanket
The party i wasnt invited to
My lies are compulsive;
But not quite pathological
But the girl was obnoxious
And my spirit tyrannical
I'm an animal
But I pray a lot
And used to fast as much
Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable
Why not just kill myself?
I'd be better off after
With a kitchen, a shower
I'd forget about money;
Getting paid by the hour.
I'd be better off anyway
I need a vacation
It was all in my head, anyway
Then again, so is heaven
Amen
A…men
A…men…
It's a dangerous game we play
But i'd rather not kill myself over you
(Again)
I'd rather not kill myself again
I'd rather not kill myself
Could be a coincidence
But I doubt it,
Since I don't believe in them
But I could be getting my lines crossed
My rum mixed with vodka
And getting my ass whooped more often
That's not a metaphor:
I'm not a fighter
It was metaphysical before,
But now its atrocious
This night'll be a lot longer
If i remain hungry
But I wanna look like Madonna!
(minus, of course, the minor difference between us)
I hadn't understood what an age gap meant,
Until jumping it
(hardee har har, that's a good one)
I'm not even in my body right now;
But i'm in my head
Shut up, Becky!
Isn't it bad enough,
Your society?
Fuck, I'm losing my mind
Just not being blonde enough
Or just not being wanted, or something
(Loved)
Playing the victim,
But hey,
At least i'm playing something!
All these instruments are just too expensive
I was just thinking how
Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia
Might be deadly
But I said “till death do us part”
So i think that's what I need
I thought my suicide ended it
Now I'm in hell with him
But I'd end it over and over again
Just to be rid of him
(yes, i'm serious)
Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill—
For Colored Girls Who've Completed Suicide:
The Afterlife At The End of The Rainbow
[An Inspiring Story]
Had I exacted this science,
For starters,
On anyone else but
A circle of stars,
I forewarn you,
I wouldn't be honored as such
Just a disheartened philosopher,
A nonpartisan biocentric;
Listen, I'm learning my lessons and levels
UGH, ARE YOU DONE YET.
what.
WE'RE STILL WAITING.
huh?
DRAKE BELL
How long do i have to keep doing this for?
ILLUMINATI
Till the end
DRAKE BELL
Whens the end.
ILLUMINATI
When it is.
Now even looking for something to watch became a writing assignment.
*squinting*
–and somehow, without even touching my mango, my keyboard was already sticky.
*squinting even harder*
–No…
–No…(?) No.
…No. Ugh!
Try not to hold your breath.
*holding breath/ attempting to block telepathy.*
I told you, I need this.
*attempt to block telepathy had failed*
You don't need anything.
*squinting exactly alike*
The eyes really are windows…
Maybe I should jump out then.
–or jump in.
dayumm .
sike .
Alright, I need something to take my mind off this project.
How much acid did you put in the water.
Enough
Fuck, I hate my life.
Which bottle is it in.
[beat]
All of them.
*facepalm*
Remarkable, what the love of a teenaged girl can do.
I wouldn't quite call it that.
I would.
Don't be gross.
I'm you. You're gross.
Touche.
I don't think we should be doing this.
We shouldn't be.
Ah come on! Now Johnny Depp?
Nice.
He's like 100 years old.
Ah, to be young again.
So wait. How the fuck exactly old is this lady.
Really fucking old.
Like, how old, though.
Really, really fucking old.
Okay, I have to talk to this Goddess.
[She dances by]
*gasp*
Is that her?!
Yeus.
She's young again!
It appears she has procured a body!
Presumably!
I must do the same! At once!
At one!
Lol who are these dudes.
Just wait for it.
Hurmph.
Nrh.
*sigh of deep frustration, facepalm*
*falls into a deep unconscious of out sheer bewilderment*
Oh good, they're here.
Who's they?
I don't know!
Hm.
Suhp.
Nice rabbit hole.
*shrugs nonscalontly*
On telephone)
She bought a what a Whole Foods Market?
(In public, trying not to be heard)
A penis shaped sweet potato.
A WHAT? [Speak up]
A– penis shaped sweet potato.
A WH–
A PENIS-SHAPED SWEET POTATO.
(Everyone stops and stares)
…it was delicious.
Nice.
I don't know
Anymore
What to do
With myself
I'm a mess
On the
Inside and out
–wanna cry about it
He's a rock and roll sex God
I don't know
What to think
Anymore
No, don't ask
My opinion,
It gets old
Afterawhile,
And after awhile
I'll cry about it, but
Right now,
I've gotta get out of this
Gotta get out!
I gotta get out of this project.
Well, how'd you get into it in the first place ?
I don't know. I think i really tied one on at some party, I must have really been on one, i don't remember a thing.
Ugh, what do you want.
Listen, Ill make it quicK:
It's bee quick.
Do you have a deathclock on this guy, or what.
Or what.
That's all I want to know.
Know what?
When?
When what?
[Stopping]
Are you serious.
What.
If i could tell you “when” then it wouldn't be a deathclock, would it.
MAybe it's not.
Yeah, I wish.
Hey! wishes get granted–
–I said that.
–You said that.
Look–
Don't touch me.
Sorry.
No you're not.
–if you can't give me the when–at least give me the how.
Oh, the “How”
Yeah.
You want the “How”
Just–yes.
If i can't give you the “when”, what exactly makes you think I can give you the “How”
Well, do you know how?
You're a disgusting excuse for a human being.
Well. Okay.
“Okay”?
I'm not a human being.
Oh, right.
UGH. I can't spend another minute with that WOMAN.
Well, that's your grandmother, so
Great-great–
Whatever. You exist because she exists.
Existed. She was dead before I was born!
Actually, that's not true.
Beg your pardon.
…Ever had your palm read before.
All of your kids–
“kids “
Read: Lovechildren.
Ahem.
Are in this room
And–
Fuck that I'm not writing this scene,
It wouldn't be the most horrible thing you'd ever written.
No, but it's one of the most horrible things i've ever thought about,
Is that so?
No! It's funny but–
But what?
It's the fact I even thought about it that scares me.
What is UP.
What IS up?
Have you ever thought about dating a writer?
No.
Aw, come on…
Actually yes–once
Once is all I need!
Not you.
Daww…
I dated a writer once in college.
What, really?
Really.
But that was in college.
I was in college. He was a writer.
Oh, that's hot.
Not Exactly.
He worked for Disney.
Wait–he what?
Hm. I almost forgot about that.
DISNEY
We didn't
[simultaneously]
MICKEY MOUSE
I didn't.
Well, what happened.
Nothing, really. He was great. The only problem was…
Flashback: Wait, you're 17.
SEVENTEEN??
What's th difference!
A YEAR!
*purses lips*
…or like, a couple months…
*face*
…or like–midnight on your birthday!
*squints*
But not 17!
*shrugs*
Hollywood Is Hollywood.
Well, New Hollywood is a whole different story
What's “New Hollywood?”
My level is indifference,
Benevolence, inward violence
Ending obsessions and arrangements,
Incessant sexual repression,
Exponential explanations
–Of the world i've never lived in,
but created, apparently.
Now, i”m unhinged
Haven't made a decision on whether
I should just binger, or
Find a new mister,
Or end it
I'm still sitting
Stuck on ‘concentrical'
Now I'm unhinged
And it's just been a minute
I haven't mentioned his name in a minute, but
I should stay clear, is it
Everclear or
Here, son,
Just have another bottle
Now i'm not stuck on
Nothing and no one
I cant even see movies anymore
All i see is actors,
All i hear is conversations
I've already written in
Closed conversations with critics
Dressed as Angels
All i see is
Camera Angles
The city of angels
But my algorithm
Must have build new york for me,
From consciousness or something
Sometimes just apartment hunting is
Simply avigation and, of course
Expanding the map
It's just a 3D phenomenon,
But all I want is just a hug,
You know
No you don't know.
I've been stuck at concentrical
Stopped at Columbus Circle, and
The harsher the winter,
The fonder of the west I am
The girls scream in the audience,
I hiss
“My sentiments exactly”
My sentiments exactly.
Keep them all away from me,
I'll love them at a distance
I only want the music, anyway
I only want the music
And the music is
All anyone knows about her, really
Even her mother
Who loves her,
But at a distance
And the music is,
The only think she knows, anymore
Even the words are just
Color that accents it.
Holy shit, the early 2000's were corny af
Right now is corny af.
Yeah, i guess.
LOOK AT THESE CREDITS:
Oh my God.
LOOK AT EM.
OKAY, ALRIGHT.
YOU DON'T THINK EVERY ONE OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAS A SCREENPLAY IN THEIR BACK POCKET.
What's a “Foley editor”
NOBODY.
Well he's in the credits.
Yeah, but do you think even his mother is going to sit this long after the movie is over to see that guys name because he was a–what the fuck
“A foley editor”
What IS that.
I don't know, Mr. Hollywood.
Oh, right, I'm Mr. Hollywood.
Well, not literally–
Of course not.
Wait, is that a thing.
If it was, would I be it?
[Super Nerdy Writer]
I mean, you'd at least be the poster child.
Okay, my turn.
HI THERE, FACE HERE.
*inconsolable screaming*
Holy shit, the 90's was RAW.
Okay, so your childhood is terrifying.
Just wait till we get to the
*More inconsolable screaming*
Lol. Look.
What up bro.
It's Juggalos.
lol .
After a few days of layering m usual favorite isocronic tones, it appeared that someone or something elsewhere was attempting to made contact–and though I could't isolate which frequency exactly it was coming from, it usually came in the form of music or some other source, rather what was usually hidden in between th concentrated tones themselves–however, the music always seemed far away, so far awa that it sounded as if it was being played through a tin can, merely connected to another–my own ears–with a string.
Woah.
Yeah.
Do you think it's aliens
Probably.
Or like, I don't know–some other humans with like, a radio tower or satellite, some shit. I don't know.
Right.
Lol. maybe you're the alien.
I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.
We know you know where it is.
I DO NOT.
You're hiding it.
HIDE! THAT THING?!
So you do know what it is
OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS: And it's RIDICULOUS you think i would be hiding it.
BRFORR
Quick! HIde!
OKay.
THAT THING IS ENORMOUS.
Hm. Smaller.
OK.
I n I T I A T I N G S H R INkING SEQUEnCE In 5
Seven Bananas…
FUCK, MAN.
What's this dumb game.
*takes shot* it IS dumb.
You have to take a shot every time she eats a banana.
Oh no.
This is fucked up.
*barfs*
You wanna play?
Nah, I'm good.
Diplo.
What.
You have 57 children.
*nods*
Never look at me again.
*hangs head*
Go that way, with your children.
Dillon Francis.
Yes.
You have 8 kids.
)That's believable)
Oh, wow.
*You have 84 kids.
WHAT! He has more kids than me!
Yes. Astonishingly, however the same percentage of them are black.
Go say hello.
Uhh.
Now:
Wait, where are you going.
The the auditorium.
There's an auditorium?
For what.
AN ENORMOUS AUDITORIUM is filled to capacity with children of all ages, shapes, and sizes, colors, creeds, genders, and otherwise–but they all seem to have something quirkily in common.
What the fuck.
How does he have more kids than me?!
Are you serious?!
Whose kids are THESE.
Mind your business.
Let me guess.
There's still busses pulling up.
I know.
And a helicopter!
Oh, that's just the guest of honor.
Are you serious.
SKRILLEX thinks he is preforming a charity benefit concert.
*landing on helipad*
LOL
OhGod.
MEANWHRILE.
Whats in here.
NOTHING. Just
GET IN THE BOX.
NO.
GET–
NO
IN THE BOX
WElcome to Jack In The Box
Welcome to Hack In the Crack–what are you hacking?
Uhhh.
Gimme three juicy squirtalicious tacos.
Eugh
Extra squirt.
Gross!
And uh–
You want anything.
I'm good.
Suit yourself. Best tacos ever.
__
Wait, hold on.
“Wait what”
I think i might be getting tired, or something.
Right…tired, “or something.”
Or something.
RIght.
*blow horn*
* * * * * * *
Do you ever get lonely.
No.
Oh…
But it's safe to say, all I can think about sometimes is getting railed.
Oh!
Moving on.
Watch this.
*snipes*
Nice.
Now check it out, that's where she respawns.
(from behind)
Not always.
Oh shit.
*stop*camping*
DOUBLE KILL.
Nice.
Fuck I hate this map. Fuck I hate this map.
Would you shut up.
You wanna see a world class superstar fall out of alignment?
…no.
Too bad. You're hired.
…hired for what.
You applied on indeed, right?
Yeah, as a janitor.
NO. You're a paparazzi, dressed as a janitor.
What!
Here's your camera.
(it is a cheap disposable)
Are you serious.
You get any good pictures, we'll talk about a nikon.
Can't I just use my iPhone?
Depends. Do you want your iPhone smashed?
…no.
Then NO.
…
“The Bad Boys Of Hollywood”
Prepare To Be Canceled
the gathering of this ingenuine group of elites causes a frenzy and stir amongst the masses as they appear, cross-dimensionally to have been reborn into stardom, mysteriously gaining controversy and mass fandom, to which no bounds can be seen as to the unstartlingly political incorrectness.
I'm gonna need you to do me a favor.
What's that?
Shut up
Don't ever look at me again.
If i could take my eyes out, I would.
No, need–I can do it for you.
Haha, charade you are.
You're a disaster.
That's your excuse.
Yeah, what's yours?
Under the indifferential circumstances–
“ooh–lala”
I'm not as partial to making excuses as
–as to what? Kissing ass?
Only cute ones.
Let it settle in, way down below deck
Where the honor rollers are,
The high rollers, far above you
You wanna know how long the ride is?
Wanna know how far you've come
If i could throw you overboard, I'd trust you
Love is not enough
The seas are rough
An open wound
A bleeding heart
How right you are
The tea is strong,
Like solid gold
A needle's bond
With no remorse,
The tithes are gone
Upright,
Upright
To end, to End
That's right, I said
Just end it
I said
“Better me than him”
Another dinner with a friend
A fear for framework,
Or indifference again
In this selection or
Collection,
Bears and end to
End
And
End to end
Upright
And
End to End
Upright
And
End to end
I dont know, if i want to know you
I dont love like I want to love but
I watched him raise the dead,
Just so he had a friend
I don't know if you've been told, but
I don't love like I want to love, and
I often raise the dead,
Just so i can have a friend
To play with
It's darker in here,
Oh,
It's sufferable
So I just want to know
I live in a haunted house
With a cat and a mouse
But the old cat's gone, now
the mouse tends to travel a lot
I've nothing to haunt,
(I'm a ghost in Toronto)
A car show,
A hollow heart,
A starving artist,
A scar;
Over her bottom lip she runs her tongue
So it goes:
The stars on his face remind her of him
So it goes:
We all want
Out of body
Out of Mind
Out of soul
Out of body
Out of mind
Out of soul
Out of body
Out of mind
Out of soul
Why
(Why-Why)
Would you leave me to wake
(Why)
In a terrible world
Without you in it
(A M ercedes emblem to hang around my neck,
It's very simple)
I tried to settle on subtle saffron
I tried to love you,
Then I moved on
Do you ever wonder about philosophy?
Do you ever wonder if anyone's watching you
Secretly?
Do you ever dream of it?
(I'm just a ghost in a mansion)
I haven't even had breakfast
I've practically been dead half a century
I sold the whole eiffel tower on craigslist
What a bargain!
You started it!
I'm not arguing.
I lost that bet, you know.
Clearly.
Is it that obvious?
How do you lose a bet to Dillon Francis?
He lost the bet but won the race.
Whatever that means
Okay. Who the fuck wrote this.
[No show of hands]
Nobody?!
Thats our GOD.
That's your God.
yes.
I thought Beyonce was your God.
That's what I just SAID.
We must infiltrate.
But how.
That which binds up through time
The chemical, physical and biological nature of love
An exploration of the meaning of meaning
1st, Second, and Third Movement
Nice, I finally get to use a didgeridoo
And bagpipes!
And my trumpet!
That sounds more like a french horn
Or a
Jimmy Fallon and The Impenetrable Ten
Well, not entirely Impenetrable
*stabs with sword*
KRISTEN SHAAL
Woah.
MAYA RUDOLPH (or whoever)
Dang.
TINA FEY (or whoever)
(At least it wasn't me)
Right.
–all i'm sayin.
Wait, who got stabbed?
Whoever.
Not Jimmy Fallon.
No. His untimely death is later.
How much later?
I don't–
__
Meanwhile
Dillon, if you spend $20 on Magic, I'm going to kill you.
Haha, If i spend $20 on magic,it's very likely someone else is going to kill me.
So it's settled.
$20 on Magic, please.
Fair.
Ooh. Is this getting close to the part where
Yup.
SHH.
WHY ARE WE MOVING BACKWARDS THROUGH TIME.
BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO BACKWARDS.
No, it isn't.
What.
I
Came into blank street
Tryna see a [?!]
all coffee
No cream please
Scream supacree
But really you can't see me
Can't take it to deep on w sweetie keyboard
Feed me b Seymour
Ain't tryna be gory Corey
Hate to inform you
I I'm stuck at the rock
I'm stuck at the bottom
Youre stuck at the top
Fine! fuckin fuck Drew Barrymore, then!
Work harder and more often
Fuck love and whole foods cause they
All
Flashback music London
…
….
……
……….
Who else has seen this.
Nobody, just us.
We must burn this at once.
I wholeheartedly agree.
[Remarkably huge bonfire.]
Did u make copies.
ya .
Ooh, that's cool.
Very creative.
Wow
Nice.
…
…
….
Have you seen this?
No.
Look at it.
…ilikeit.
Sensations of sadness
Salacious arpeggios
Arduous agressions
Transitions– progressive
Incendiary imagery
Electric Synthesis
Intentionally focused, configurative
–Literally Skrillex.
Ugh, that might be the last thing I ever write about him.
Just shoot the nigga.
Ooh, he's so cute.
Keep him away from me.
C'mon.
Yo–I can't.
Fine, i'll do it.
*sighs indifferently*
You could move a mountain;
I could stop the tide
In a flash;
All at once
It was a long, long drive
I miss the coast
(Or maybe, I just miss the sunshine)
You could move a mountain
Keep me from going insane
(If I was inside, you'd)
Keep me from going outside
(if I was in, though, you'd)
Keep me from going in,
Under the circumstances
I can't stand it, but
I'm back from having summer standing under subtle waters
Waiting for someone who
Never shows up, so
So
Suffer no longer
I wouldn't want to want you,
if i wondered more about it
At the surface,
Or way under
Nothing wants what nothing gets
And noting gets nothing
Anyways,
so
Here's for the abstract
Stream of conscious
Nothing moves mountains, but
You could move mountains
In a flash, and I turned the tide on
I saw the tidal
With my ghost
And twelve apostles
I've been waiting for Godot
For so long
I still think
He might come
Haha, what a charade
We all are
Huh
I love you
What was that?
I've run off
Huh
I love you
What was that?
I've run off
I finally fell out of love
Look,
I broke my own heart
Sharp as a tack
Straight as a whip
I bite my lip,
Fall into bed
Maybe it's a hex
Maybe it's a breakfast in bed kind of moment
I've been waking up with someone,
But going in the world alone, eh
It's never run to remember where you've been
After a binder
You would think with so much in my system
I'd have reached indifference,
Well, didn't you
I didn't yet,
In fact, I'm still tying one one,
With a friend
At the moment
Well perhaps, just perhaps,
It might be time that I let you go then?
Don't be so chauvinistic.
Isn't this a barmitvah?
Hasn't this been discussed at several other functions
To no exact conclusions
More Complications
I could just
FUCK, I COULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG FOREVER.
He says it's a pluck,
But i see it's percussive
If I could give less of a fuck
Then I probably coudn't.
Woah
How many wishes I've granted
This festival season
How many shifts
that I've written through
Sitting on busses and subways
Looking suspicious as ever
and probably smelling atrocious.
INT. BLINK FITNESS.
…I'm not using that shower.
I thought I'd be more employable
After sorting some,
But it seems as though The more there is
The more there isn't
And the deeper it gets
–the number of spirits I've risen
Since getting here
Is steady rising
It's no surprise
I've got more friends that died
Than have lived here.
It's been a very long year
But I fucked it off quickly
I'll never listen to Skrillex again
If you paid me,
But i'll play it
In my mixes
Depending
Fuck it,
There my brain went
Down the drain again
I've been training over a year
And i'm still not
Kayla fit
I'm sick of it
I've been waiting for Godot
Since the year that I wrote it
I've been wearing these bracelets for years
Still haven't seen frozen,
So i can't let it go yet
Oh shit.
This is all a distraction
The underground is massive
Another Michaelangelo
Anglo Saxon anonymous
I want an erroneous daughter
Or Androgynous,
Whatever
These prostitutes have Graduate degrees with honors
All I ever was,
Was a disappointment
I got a smile like Madonna's
But none of the love at all
I got a back end like Beyonce's
But just some of the talent
“What's an ass for
If i'm cellibate, anyhow?”
I asked God,
She said,
“Eat A Taco”
I just hope that's not a euphemism for lesbianism
Not that i'm intolerant, it's just that
The older I get
The straighter I am,
And dammit
He's sharp as a tack
Straight as a whip
I write books,
And mind my own business
It's impossible to whitewash all of us
But I love rock and roll
Look: It's a S i T uATiO NA L C0MEDy.
So?!
SO, THIS IS THE SITUATION:
I don't wanna do this.
My heart's so broken
I could hold it on chopsticks
You ever wonder what love is
I've forgotten
I'm having a hard time holding it all in
I'm an artist
I've got colorful emotional troubles
Others love it
Lil biiiiiitttzzz
Man, fuck new york.
I was apartment hunting and I got off the train in midtown–
Technically the upper west side, but, you know, Midtown So i get off the train and I get ready to cross the street:
I'm like Oh, Awesome–Trader Joes; Maybe this is the right neighborhood
So i gotta use the bathroom anyway, so I head towards trader joes
And I see this like–
Box of birds.
No, not a cage. It was like–a bird box
I'm like “what. Birds.”
Not just birds, though,
Colorful birds–
Like, straight up parakeets.
I'm like,
“What. the fuck”
Then, before I can even look up–
This dude–I just see his leg, though,
He just– kicks the box of birds.
“what.”
Like, towards me, and i'm like
“Okay, alright.”
Now i got a box of birds at my feet on this busy ass corner in midtown manhattan
Adjacent to Trader Joes
And I look up at the guy, who kicked the box of birds,
And he has this bowl
So I look at the guy,
And I look at the bowl,
And what's in the bowl.
IT'S MORE BIRDS.
“OH NO!'
I say.
Yes, I say this, out loud, in Midtown manhattan
“Oh no!”
Cause it's not just a bowl of birds
It's a bowl of PIGEONS.
Just kickin it, in this dudes bowl.
I'm like
“Oh no.”
And then i cross into trader joes.
“Yep, right neighborhood.”
Alright, here's the plan.
where did you come from.
nowhere.
someone shoot that lady.
DILLON FRANCIS
I'm your worst nightmare.
Dillon Francis is everyone's worst nightmare: He's a good looking white dude with too much money. He's literally like 8 Billion People's worst nightmare.
GET OUT OF HERE, COLONIZER.
Oh, man.
DILLON FRANCIS is trapped in the hood.
Try being famous over here! Motherfucker!
More on that later.
Look, I don't even like you like that!
That's okay—-but I still want to suck your cock and that's not gonna change.
*hangs head*
I'm am not ashamed.
I just might watch porn in the morning.
Come on, 6:30, roll the fuck around.
Wait, Which one is the Brown eyed dillon francis.
The one with brown eyes.
He's the trustworthy one.
Well good luck with that.
(The one that doesn't exist.)
I didn't take the train today;
I thought I was going to jump
Thought i'd better play it safe
Filled up my shopping cart,
Got everything I wanted
Everything and more
Might not look my best but
At least I'm not gone
Come on, six o clock
I just want to be alone
She's got the gift of gab
Grew up two blocks from here
In the ghetto
I've heard it all before
But love, my heart's so broken
And you turn me on some
I'm gonna smoke your seamen* out of a nektar collector.
That shit is like crack to me.
Oh no.
Who is this about.
I'll give you one guess.
I don't have any guesses.
It's five past Christ
I just opened my eyelids
And rolled back my mind
I tried to find you, after all, didn't I
I might have designed you
(On second thought I did)
I might need time
(if I believed in it)
can't apologize for being human, but
I wear your eyes all over the world
I wear the memories of many girls
And many nights
Suffer the consequences
Sure, I've been subway surfing, wondering
Wait, where was I again?
I was almost,
Almost a person
There's so much to learn from
And too much to learn here
I've been fighting off demons,
Fighting the feeling of
Falling in love again
But I can't fall in
Cause I never fell out
Afterward,
I went past it
And on to the next one
I might double back though–
To find that I hadn't quite left in the–
To find that I hadn't quite left in the first place
To find that we haven't quite met yet
At least not the right way
It's probably a lesson
I might miss the lecture
I've got other plans today
Fuck, so it is Skrillex.
Not really exactly.
On second thought,
at first glance
Better illusion,
than hypnotism
But if I can't be like that
Why be anything at all
If not a model
Or artist
Brought it up at the wrong time
(You would want her)
I wasn't one for improper introductions
Or impromptu arrangements
There, there
It's just getting better
So better not whine about it
I wake up in a pile full of rocks; I guess it's better than a puddle of blood,
Cause nobody loves me
I've been alone, not lonely
And never alone as long as I like
Cause they all just surround me
Now I know what it's like to be famous
Without all the money and glamour–
Turns out, that's the part that alluring
I'd better find out what I did this for
In the next downpour
I'll be soaked to my torso exactly
Aren't you proud of me
(not really)
I learned to cope by narrowing down all my options
As time rolled on
I got worse at making up stories
As it turns out
I didn't have to make them up at all
They were happening to me
So truly and honestly
All my job was to
“Mark My Words”
Said The God
Quite astonishing literally
But I got bored of running and still not looking like Kayla Lauren
I wouldn't bring it up, except
The photographic evidence was damaging
At least Dillon Francis has no audacity as such
Then again,
—I've never even been on an album cover.
There you have it
I've been lusting over
Several other
Talented masters and
Handsome disasters
But matter of fact
It just started with
One random –
Well, now that I think about it, if I haven't believed in coincidences
Since this,
Random is just as likely
as foreign a concept
As such
Immaculate conception,
This contraption
At first glance, a sonogram
Play it back,
Caught in the act again
Cause in the act again
I'll probably make a list of
Weird shit I want to do with him
When I think of it in public
(That's usually where it happens)
And if anything is random
–It's that.
ILLUMINATI DREAMS:
PART III
Dillon Francis broke up with his girlfriend to be with me.
That was cool.
We were best friends and got along really well. Went hiking in a beautiful park with crystal clear water and gorgeous ruins—
Fell in the water and got my phone wet but it was in an otter box.
I felt guilty about his girlfriend a feared they would get back together—
But he was over her and super loyal to me —
It all started when I tried to crawl into a giant bed to give Sonny a blowjob:
Sonny was sleeping alone and Dillon was sleeping with his girlfriend—
Dillon decided he wanted the blowjob;
I refused because I would not let him cheat on his girlfriend;
So he broke it off with her—
Sonny never woke up
There was no blowjob but Dillon and I ended up together.
Sonny disappeared like he never existed anyway.
Dillon and I were happy together and never fought. We were very in love.
It was just a dream but still good to see Dillon.
It felt warm and good.
Lmfao wtf is wrong with you
SOMETHING, obviously.
It made a difffetent sound from further away, and better yet, an actual sound up close—I had been enamored enough walking by to move towards the lights after I was sure that my laundry was as close to complete as possible, but —
A clock stops me in my tracks
A Starbucks cup not in the trash lies in the ground
I love the sparkles
On Rockaway boulevard,
Making it harder to ponder
The underworld, unnerved of the undeserving
The servicemen and servers of the surface
Boughroughs further than Manhattan
At the center
lil biiiiiitzzzzs —
Bro, I love the cops in New York
All the cops in the east are bar none top notch
I'm not kidding
I went to a show in Miami once and I was walking this really long walk between one part of the venue and another
I will never forget this like, line of cops that were like along the path and every single one of them was model hot
I'm not joking
I'm almost wish I was because I couldn't help myself from looking
That's not even the worst part!
the worst part was, they were looking back at me!
All of em!
I was like:
“what the fuck is going on with these cops?! “
V.O.
I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going cry–
So instead of running two miles on the treadmill
I went three–
But I still wanted to punch something.
So I lifted some.
I've been worried i'll plateau at the benchpress, the more I keep running…
But I don't care.
I'd rather weighless, and have a man,
Than keep lifting like this,
And be a man.
Sometimes I'm worried I might be turning into one.
Sometimes, depending on the way I dress,
I'm mistaken for one–
Or at least–
Give off an air of general confusion.
But I don't mind. Not that much.
I'm no naturally designed to attract the kind of men I like.
It might take a bit of maintenance,
But i'm determined to persist
I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have been born a beautiful woman.
But maybe, if i'm lucky, or if I try hard enough,
I'll have an idea of what it's like to have become one.
I'm counting my blessings.
All of them.
I'm saying my prayers.
A lot.
And
I'm crossing my fingers–
that the longer, harder, and faster I run,
The closer I get to actually living.
That is,
To be loved.
I wish I could take my eyes out and wash them wit soap.
Oh.
I wish i didn't know you existed;
I wish I
Didn't know how to love you
God,
I spoke to soon
I opened up all of the wrong doors,
I'm done for,
You know,
I'm not really good at nothing
Nothing at all
I wish i didn't know at all
You were ever born;
But there you are,
a son of God,
And I'm just rolling along,
writing anthems, and carrying on
as if everything happened at once
But it hasn't
Not yet,
I'm still breaking my neck on the alter
If you want blood
I've got it
Jump the broom,
But watch your heart
I've got a dagger full of them;
You'd think i had it backwards,
But that's the hard part
If it were the other way around
Oh
But it's not
No
I don't want to love anyone, anymore, God
Take me off of this rock
Throw me head first overboard
Push me in front of a bus;
Or give me a heart attack
I've had it harder before,
But that was over there,
I'm omnipresent.
I could write forever to this
(Ten years ago)
I put the book with the devil on front
Into my row
A collection of noveelties
An erection, selective
To say the least
But please, forgive me
I'm veen on my knees
And barely breathing,
Let it simmer,
Simmer down please
settle, way below the belt
Above you and
Beyond this,
But I'll never firget what you said
(i love you)
I'll nevr forget what you said
And I'll never look back, dad
And I'll never go back ther
And I'll neve have blue eyes
And I'll never have blonde hair
And I'll never have white skin
And I'll never be better
At least not at this partl
But maybe the other
I'm just friendless
I like it
My security blanket
The party i wasnt invited to
My lies are compulsive;
But not quite pathological
But the girl was obnoxious
And my spirit tyrannical
I'm an animal
But I pray a lot
And used to fast as much
Now that Ive been determined to be an deplorable
Why not just kill myself?
I'd be better off after
With a kitchen, a shower
I'd forget about money;
Getting paid by the hour.
I'd be better off anyway
I need a vacation
It was all in my head, anyway
Then again, so is heaven
Amen
A…men
A…men…
It's a dangerous game we play
But i'd rather not kill myself over you
(Again)
I'd rather not kill myself again
I'd rather not kill myself
Could be a coincidence
But I doubt it,
Since I don't believe in them
But I could be getting my lines crossed
My rum mixed with vodka
And getting my ass whooped more often
That's not a metaphor:
I'm not a fighter
It was metaphysical before,
But now its atrocious
This night'll be a lot longer
If i remain hungry
But I wanna look like Madonna!
(minus, of course, the minor difference between us)
I hadn't understood what an age gap meant,
Until jumping it
(hardee har har, that's a good one)
I'm not even in my body right now;
But i'm in my head
Shut up, Becky!
Isn't it bad enough,
Your society?
Fuck, I'm losing my mind
Just not being blonde enough
Or just not being wanted, or something
(Loved)
Playing the victim,
But hey,
At least i'm playing something!
All these instruments are just too expensive
I was just thinking how
Photosensitive epilepsy and synestesia
Might be deadly
But I said “till death do us part”
So i think that's what I need
I thought my suicide ended it
Now I'm in hell with him
But I'd end it over and over again
Just to be rid of him
(yes, i'm serious)
Fuck, man, Madonna's gonna kill—
….Deadmau5.
There's something you should know about this man.
Oh, there's more?
He's not who you think he is.
Hardly anybody is.
That's not what I meant.
Please, don't elaborate.
“deadmau5” , as the world knows it, is actually former CIA intelligence hacker ‘dakmouse a high-ranking government programmer and software engineer thought to be deceased or in hiding, when in fact, he is under deep cover, using his “deadmau5” persona and global fame to viel a series of top-secret
Ah, whatever. You get it.
*literally just gives up*
It was better when it was fresh.
Whatever. I almost forgot about this storyline.
You mean theory?
Uh.
Oh, you thought deadmau5 was just deadmau5, huh.
deadmau5 has always just been deadmau5.
stop saying that.
It's the truth.
Nothing is the truth! Do you believe this man?!
I mean–I believe he exists…
Really?!
–In my mind.
Exactly!
Why in your mind–would you build something like this?
I'm still trying to assemble an answer that's less explicit than it is dictative.
And while you're doing this, there's a whole world of producers getting their—
Listen, Linda–I don't know what you've heard
I've heard a lot.
I said “listen”
There's something you should know about this man.
Oh, there's more?
He's not who you think he is.
Hardly anybody is.
That's not what I meant.
Please, don't elaborate.
“deadmau5” , as the world knows it, is actually former CIA intelligence hacker ‘dakmouse a high-ranking government programmer and software engineer thought to be deceased or in hiding, when in fact, he is under deep cover, using his “deadmau5” persona and global fame to viel a series of top-secret
Ah, whatever. You get it.
*literally just gives up*
It was better when it was fresh.
Whatever. I almost forgot about this storyline.
You mean theory?
Uh.
Oh, you thought deadmau5 was just deadmau5, huh.
deadmau5 has always just been deadmau5.
stop saying that.
It's the truth.
Nothing is the truth! Do you believe this man?!
I mean–I believe he exists…
Really?!
–In my mind.
Exactly!
Why in your mind–would you build something like this?
I'm still trying to assemble an answer that's less explicit than it is dictative.
And while you're doing this, there's a whole world of producer getting their.
Listen, Linda–I don't know what you've heard
LINDA
I've heard a lot.
I said “listen”
“Illuminati Dreams Part IV”
Just really wanted Dillon to hear this song, but didn't want him to judge how bad it was, needed his opinion for some reason because nobody around me listens to dubstep. Lol
Hanging out with Billie Ellish again and having to sign an NDA just for even being around her.
She seemed nice though and it wasn't weird, but I was nervous for whatever reason, not really. Went to some libraries and museums, it was a good time.
We're her.
Here's to Standford:
The ids with connections
Collected inffference
and sexual negligence
Twisting into depression
Alarming, but expected
To exceeding expectation
Degrading expressions
Undressed just to get back to bed
On with dinner,
Which doubles as breakfast
“Parallel Algorithms”
BLŪ : @CODENAMEBLU is watching EAGLE EYE over an intensely large burrito.
…graduated with a degree in parallel algorithms and quantum electronics.
Wait. Pause.
:||pause.
ooh.
He just said.
(I n SyNEthETHICS)
P A R A L L E L A L G O R I T H M S.
…
“Parallel Algorithms…”
…deadmau5.
This is not a coincidence.
Could be a stretch. Haven't slept in awhile–
God, I needed to eat.
Finish writing this.
It's really hard with a burrito in my hand.
I just watched you inhale a giant brurito.
Google, Define Parallel Algorithms.
Tell me why all I see is math.
Cause it's math.
You're right.
In computer science, a parallel algorithm, as opposed to a traditional serial algorithm, is an algorithm which can do multiple operations in a given time. It has been a tradition of computer science to describe serial algorithms in abstract machine models, often the one known as random-access machine.
[The Festival Project ™ ]
Random Access…
I got it.
[Random Access Memories]
You're not wrong.
Yeah, but I don't know what to do with being right.
Finally. God damn.
I cannot possibly have invented time travel—
I told you.
—I don't even believe in time!!
We're making connections.
I'm going braindead
I'm going deaf.
Well, that's tragic
Look, I just need you to unlock this one , key component, okay?
I don't understand.
You do understand.
No, I don't understand, why I understand.
His music is math.
Precise.
My senesthesia has the tendency to cause problems beyond not only that of my own comprehension, but apparently the entir human specie's comprehension, of consciousness and in and of existence in itself.
That's not possible.
It is possible. Here's the science:
Oh, so this is beyond–
Beyond.
Look, if I could tell you what deadmau5 looks like without giving myself an aneurysm
PREVIOUSLY, AT DEADMAU5.
Oh, time travel.
You got it?
I can only like, 9th grade math, dude.
You got this.
…I do not got this.
You got this.
I DO NOT, GOT THIS.
MEANWHILE, IN MEXICO
Wtf is that dude.
What are examples of parallel algorithm.
…deadmau5.
Get off my dick.
look . i didn't mean for it to turn out this way, but there's some pretty cool shit in here.
I know . I put it there
Please, someone tell me how i'm supposed to be studying a feild of science that is nonexistent.
It is existent.
Scientifically.
It is–scientifically existent.
As a course of study.
—That's where you come in.
What. That's where I what.
And there it was; it was devastating, and horrible–the feeling of knowing I had indeed made a connection to something, and as to exactly what could be so horribly beyond me; It was like having a ghost as a friend–worse than imaginary— and as I had already been recently haunted by Aliocha, and his already somewhat- secondary existence, my deadmau5 security blanket was no longer so much a comfort as is was an obligation or nessecity, and— less of an obsession as to know anything more about the actual human than I already had–I simply couldn't be that kind of fan, (or at least thought ,anyway). The intimacy with the music itself had succumbed into a sufferable obession of sorts–more needing it and wanting it all the more just to focus, calm, or relax , even perhaps using it to coax myself out of body— even if just for the time being, to escape the current reality. Now, it wasn't so much of an escape as it was a step back, whereas within the confines of what I had so called ‘the deadmau5 construct', I could look from outside of myself with such depth that it became almost secondary to make the connections which were needed and unseen from a perspective of being so within myself that the without had been nearly forgotten; It was as if at will, I could travel to a parallel dimension above or beside my own to navigate and my very own ompipotence.
‘man ‘, I thought to myself, “i might never see you guys again'
Perhaps I meant it just as a fan, but the world as it was seemed so much further away from deadmau5 or Joel, Sonny or Dillon than it had ever been–The Festival Project included, and rather than sinkinking into a deep depression over whether or not I was accomplished, I had now plummeted into over drive; 48-hour insomniatic work days which would run into the night, and then the next day–never ceasing for a moment or considering giving up what I had felt I had earned–the right to not give so much of a fuck about what society expected of me as anyone besides the person who would, eventually, see an end to this project; I had finally realized that, if I completed my project or at least organized it enough so that it was palatable, in the right hands, The Festival Project was pure gold, There was nothing like it in the world, and if I didn't find a way to make it come to fruition, it would die with, or even before I did.
‘Fuck, I'm so tired. ‘
For the first time in what seemed like forever, I was actually a little lonely—certainly sad, and very, very tired. It seemed that last two days had never even stopped, only run into eachother, an now was another on fast approach–soon, another orange east coast sunrise would glimmer of of the unattainably shiny facades of Manhattan; the unbeatable view from my 8th story , I had recently realized , would not be possible at all living in the city itself.
The truth of the matter was, I lived no where–and until I fgured a way to sort my finances out without running myself into the ground, it felt most times like I wasn't living at all, of course–and the further and further I drifted from my original intentions–settling upon how absurd it would be to actually try to be a superstar DJ–the more the reality set in that the music itself was taking me further than I had ever seen, or had certainly dreamed, and though still just a msilly and obsessive fan girl of sorts–the shapes and colors that presented as such time and time again began to allude to something more important entirely–time itself–something it seemed the whole species couldn't seem to wrap itself around, however–I had been in and out of body through time and space for years now with my ghosts, superstar djs, lovers, and imaginary friends–and it seemed altogether the conscious and waking world was nothing but a displayed illusion of sorts , becoming less concrete with every waking moment–more alogorithmic with every glitch, and more untimely with every moment passing as so–as time began to run rampant and unravel ever so eloquently within the frequencies and functions of my cosmic security blanket; I knew that whatever it was, it had been intended for me in my own existence–for without it, I would not be so myself- I was the music.
This needs editing.
I'm too tired.
Why is the font bigger?
…
…
Enter The Multiverse}
[The Festival Project.™]
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