The Grace Marriage Podcast

What if the busy schedule you’re proud of is the thing slowly starving your marriage?Brad Rhoads sits down with JP DeGance, who has served more than 500 churches in marriage ministry. They talk about why so many couples end up with child-centered marriages instead of marriage-centered ones, and why time is the container a marriage grows in. Brad shares why he hasn’t missed a weekly date night in 29 years. JP explains what the research says about marriage and happiness, and why the church’s budget shows what it really values.In This Episode- Why 10 minutes of real connection a day changes a marriage- How chasing your kids’ success can quietly end your marriage- “Don’t schedule over your spouse,” and what it teaches your kids- Why a good marriage predicts happiness better than a great career- What changed when one church went all in on marriage ministry and grew 54%- The best way to love your children: love their mom👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:Key ideas- Time is the container a marriage grows in- Child-centered marriages put the marriage at risk- Kids do best when they see their parents put each other first- Don’t schedule over your spouse- Being busy isn’t something to be proud of- 10 minutes of daily connection keeps couples close- Praying together, even by phone, holds a marriage steady- Weekly date nights that last for decades- A good marriage predicts happiness better than a great career- Kids copy how their parents handle conflict- Churches fund what they value- Investing in marriage ministry helps churches grow- Healthy marriages help churches fight loneliness- Fewer people are getting married, so churches need to leadLIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

What if one of the greatest opportunities for strengthening the Church has been overlooked?In this episode, Brad Rhoads sits down with JP DeGance, founder of Communio, to explore the connection between healthy marriages, strong families, and lasting Christian faith. Drawing on research and years of ministry experience, JP explains why marriage is a gospel issue, and why churches must move beyond responding to marital crises toward building a culture of intentional marriage discipleship.Together, they discuss how marriage influences the next generation's faith, why so many churches lack substantive marriage ministries, and how ongoing investment helps couples grow both relationally and spiritually.In this episode:- Why marriage and faith are deeply connected- What Communio's research reveals about passing faith to the next generation- Why many churches overlook marriage ministry- The connection between marriage health and spiritual growth- Why marriage ministry should be for every married couple- How healthy marriages strengthen children's discipleship- Why marriage investment must continue through every season- How practical relationship skills complement spiritual disciplines👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- Marriage is a gospel issue. JP argues that marriage and Christian faith reinforce one another, making marriage ministry central to evangelism and discipleship.- The family is a powerful influence on faith formation. Communio's Passing the Torch research identifies family relationships and marriage health as important factors associated with the transmission of Christian faith.- Churches often respond to problems rather than prevent them. Historically, churches have excelled at responding to crises, but many have not adapted to modern challenges facing marriage.- Marriage ministry shouldn't be reserved for struggling couples. Just as spiritual growth is expected of every Christian, marriage growth should be normal for every married Christian.- Healthy marriages model healthy relationships for children. Children learn what marriage looks like by watching their parents.- Marriage is part of sanctification. Learning to love, sacrifice, forgive, and serve a spouse is part of growing in Christlikeness.- Every season requires intentionality. Children, work, financial difficulties, and health challenges continually compete for a couple's attention.- Marriage needs maintenance before it breaks down. JP compares marriage investment to servicing a vehicle rather than waiting for smoke to come from the engine.- Ongoing discipleship matters more than occasional interventions. One-time programs can be valuable, but consistent investment helps couples sustain growth.- Spiritual and relational skills work together. Prayer and spiritual disciplines matter, but couples also benefit from learning communication, conflict resolution, shared expectations, and appreciation.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

Most couples have great intentions. So why do so many still drift apart?In this final conversation with Justin and Trisha Davis of Refine Us Ministries, Brad Rhoads moves from their story to the lessons any couple can apply. They talk about how seasons of life change a couple’s capacity, why intentions without intentionality lead to an “ordinary” marriage, and why couples who do all the right things can still feel disconnected when they never talk about what’s going on in their hearts.Justin shares a humbling moment from his separation that changed how he thought about serving his wife. Trisha offers practical help for staying connected through grief. And they make the case for a “ruthless commitment to truth telling” as the path to being fully known and fully loved.In This Episode:- Recognizing your season and capacity- Why great intentions aren’t enough- “Time plus unintentionality equals ordinary”- Investing in your marriage, not just expecting it to work- Talking about hearts, emotions, and faith together- Truth telling and being fully known- Staying connected through grief and loss- Giving each other grace for different wiring👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:Key Ideas- Every season, from newlyweds to young kids to empty nest, changes a couple’s capacity, so a couple has to adjust how intentional they are.- Good intentions without intentional action lead to drift, and couples often wake up distant without knowing how they got there.- “Time plus unintentionality equals ordinary.”- We often give more effort to work, strangers or the gym than to the spouse who loves us unconditionally.- A marriage yields what’s invested in it. Brad calls this an “investment inventory,” and time is “the container a marriage grows in.”- Couples can do all the right things and still struggle if they never talk honestly about their hearts, emotions and faith.- “You can’t have trust without truth.” Couples sacrifice truth to be loved and end up neither known nor loved.- Grief isn’t linear. Supporting a grieving spouse means asking questions without an agenda and giving grace and space.- Personality shapes how each spouse processes and gets things done. Neither way is wrong.- Churches should teach couples to invest in marriage before a crisis, not just respond after one.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

How do you know when a spouse’s repentance is real?In Part 2 of their story, Justin and Trisha Davis pick up where Part 1 left off. Trisha was filing for divorce when Justin came home and confessed everything, not as an excuse but from real brokenness. Brad Rhoads talks with them about what changed that day and the two-year road of restoration that followed: moving away, working outside ministry, sitting in church as “regular people,” and slowly being loved back to God by a local church community.They also share how a reluctant first testimony became Refine Us Ministries, why they now focus on pastors and their spouses, and the resources they offer couples today.In This Episode:- What happened the day Justin fully confessed- How to recognize real brokenness and repentance- Red flags when someone tries to dictate the terms of recovery- Starting over outside of ministry- How the parable of the talents changed Trisha’s mind about sharing their story- Being fully known and loved anyway- Why pastors’ marriages are often so lonely- Refine Us resources: Mentor Us and Refine Us weekends👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- You can’t fake brokenness. It shows up as a posture of “whatever it takes,” driven by a desire to know God and be healed, not just to fix things.- Real repentance takes full responsibility with no excuses.- When an offending spouse tries to dictate the terms of recovery or resists openness, it’s a red flag.- A full confession can be the starting line of restoration, not the finish line.- Stepping away from a title or role can help a couple rebuild an identity that isn’t built on performance.- A healthy church community can love a wounded couple back into a relationship with God.- A restored marriage is a gift to steward and share, not bury (the parable of the talents).- Intimacy means being fully known. Grace says, “I know you fully and I love you anyway.”- Many pastors and their spouses are lonely and afraid that being honest about their struggles could cost them their jobs.- Healthy leaders’ marriages strengthen whole churches.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

What happens when a pastor’s church is thriving but his marriage is quietly falling apart?In Part 1 of this three-part conversation, Brad Rhoads talks with Justin and Trisha Davis, founders of Refine Us Ministries. They tell the story behind their ministry: marrying young, planting a church that grew to more than 800 people, and the cracks that were forming underneath. Justin talks honestly about putting giftedness ahead of character, and about the day he came home from church and told Trisha he was done and was having an affair with her best friend. Trisha shares how rock bottom became the place where she found her identity as a child of God.It’s an honest look at how marriages drift into crisis and what it takes to start telling the truth.In This Episode:- How Justin and Trisha met, married young, and went straight into ministry- Why character has to grow as fast as giftedness- How ministry became “a mistress” to Justin- How entitlement can quietly grow in a marriage- How Trisha found her identity at rock bottom- Separation, counseling, and the first steps toward honesty- Why withheld details can break trust after betrayal👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- Giftedness and character don’t automatically grow at the same rate. Leaders have to develop both on purpose.- Ministry, work, or success can become a rival that takes the love and attention a marriage needs.- When we feel we’ve given more than we’ve received, entitlement grows, and no spouse can ever “repay” the debt we think we’re owed.- A theology of “do everything right and God will bless it” sets couples up for disillusionment when life breaks down.- An identity built on a role, a title, or a spouse can be taken away. An identity as a child of God can’t.- “Rock bottom is still a solid surface to stand.” God meets us in the collapse.- Healing after betrayal often starts when the offending spouse stops resisting help, including counseling.- A confession made from resignation is different from one made from repentance.- People heal from betrayal differently. Some want details and some don’t, but more detail doesn’t change “the pit.”- Information that feels withheld can undo rebuilt trust even when it isn’t new information.- Unconfessed sin tends to lead to repeated behavior, so full honesty is necessary for full healing.- Real repentance means understanding how much damage was done. The goal isn’t condemnation but turning away from what you’ve done.📚 KEY VERSES:📖 Romans 8:1 - "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,"LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

Can a marriage really change when only one spouse is willing to do the work?In Part 2 with Belah Rose of Delight Your Marriage, Brad and Belah explore the influence each spouse has over the culture of their marriage. Belah explains why lasting change can't depend on getting the response you want from your spouse, how husbands can create greater safety and connection, and why loving your spouse well is ultimately rooted in faithfulness to God rather than reciprocity.They also tackle some harder questions around openness, pornography, infidelity, sexual struggles, and when disclosure requires outside help. Ultimately, the conversation comes back to a change of heart: seeing your spouse not as a means to getting what you want, but as someone God has entrusted you to love well.In This Episode:- Whether one spouse can change the direction of a marriage- Why you have more influence in your marriage than you realize- Loving your spouse without making their response your motivation- Why marriage can make us more like Jesus- How anger and frustration can undermine a wife's sense of safety- Why complete openness isn't always synonymous with wisdom- Getting accountability for pornography and sexual temptation- Why freedom rarely happens in isolation- Navigating disclosure after infidelity with wisdom and professional help- Why sexual problems don't necessarily mean someone is a bad spouse- Moving from entitlement to a posture of stewardship and love👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- You are always influencing your marriage. Your presence, energy, words, routines, and reactions help shape its culture.    Pasted text- Change can't depend entirely on reciprocity. If the motivation is simply getting your spouse to respond differently, motivation disappears when results don't come. Belah instead frames marriage around loving God and treating your spouse as your "highest human assignment."    Pasted text- Marriage is an opportunity to become more like Jesus. That includes learning to love your spouse in ways they actually receive as love rather than simply giving what you would want yourself.    Pasted text- Safety matters. Belah argues that a husband's anger, frustration, and intensity can affect the emotional safety his wife experiences, even when he doesn't recognize his own influence.    Pasted text- Wisdom should govern openness. Belah returns to her marital-health spectrum: the lower the health of the marriage, the more strategic a couple may need to be about difficult disclosures and conversations.    Pasted text- Freedom doesn't happen in a vacuum. Sexual sin and pornography should be brought into the light through appropriate accountability, though Belah distinguishes accountability from indiscriminately sharing every detail with a spouse.    Pasted text- Infidelity is different. Belah recommends pursuing professional guidance around disclosure and cautions against unnecessary granular detail.    Pasted text- Sexual difficulty doesn't automatically mean someone is failing as a spouse. Belah says she works with good husbands whose sexual relationships are still broken and often require time, healing, practical changes, and heart work.    Pasted text- The deeper shift is from entitlement to stewardship. Instead of seeing a spouse as a means to an end, Belah encourages seeing her as "God's daughter" whom a husband has the opportunity to care for well.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

In this episode, Brad Rhoads sits down with marriage coach Belah Rose, founder of Delight Your Marriage, to discuss why connection often grows through encouragement rather than criticism. Together they explore emotional safety, attraction, communication, intimacy, and how spiritual maturity transforms marriage from the inside out.Whether your marriage feels healthy or strained, this conversation offers practical wisdom for building a relationship where both spouses feel known, valued, and desired.In this episode:- Why direct communication isn't always the best communication- The hidden cost of constant criticism- How encouragement creates attraction- Why date nights shouldn't create pressure- Helping your spouse feel safe instead of managed- How spiritual maturity affects intimacy- Practical ways to strengthen emotional and physical connection- Why gratitude changes the culture of a marriage👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- Marriages naturally drift apart when couples stop intentionally investing in one another.- Encouragement produces more growth than criticism.- Low-health marriages often need less confrontation and more appreciation.- Healthy communication depends on the overall health of the relationship.- Emotional safety fuels physical intimacy.- Date nights should invest in romance, not create sexual pressure.- Spiritual maturity allows spouses to respond with self-control rather than entitlement.- Gratitude changes the atmosphere of a marriage.- Intimacy flourishes when both spouses feel accepted rather than evaluated.- Consistent connection matters more than perfect moments.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

If we want stronger families and stronger faith in the next generation, where should we start?According to Devin Tharp, it starts with healthy marriages.In Part 2 of this conversation, Brad Rhoads and Devin discuss why churches often invest heavily in children's and student ministries while overlooking the foundation that supports them both: marriage. They explore how intentional marriage discipleship creates healthier families, why beautiful marriages are one of the greatest evangelistic tools available, and how even small investments can dramatically change the trajectory of couples and churches.In this episode:- Why healthy marriages produce healthy families- The connection between marriage and generational faith- Why the church has often prioritized the wrong ministries- How beautiful marriages become compelling to unbelievers- Why prevention beats crisis management- How phones quietly damage connection- One Grace Marriage lesson that changed Devin's weekly rhythm- Why undivided attention is one of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- The primary disciplers of children are parents, not the church.- Healthy marriages strengthen the faith of the next generation.- Marriage ministry isn't simply divorce prevention—it's creating marriages people want to imitate.- Young adults often reject marriage because they've rarely seen beautiful marriages modeled.- Churches should invest in marriages before problems become crises.- Many marriages live in the "5 or 6 out of 10" range where intentional discipleship makes a huge difference.- Beauty attracts people more than obligation ever will.- Phones often steal emotional presence long before couples realize it.- Putting away distractions and offering undivided attention strengthens intimacy.- Small, consistent investments produce lasting change.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

Healthy churches are built on healthy marriages, but most churches only engage marriage at the beginning or the end.In this episode, Brad Rhoads talks with Devin Tharp, Family Pastor at Good Shepherd Church and President of Charlotte Marriage, about building a church culture that proactively disciples marriages instead of simply responding to marital crises.Devin shares how his church moved from occasional date nights to a complete marriage discipleship pathway, why healthy marriages transform families, and why investing in marriage may be one of the greatest opportunities churches have to shape the next generation.In this episode:- Why marriage ministry shouldn't begin and end with premarital counseling- The difference between crisis management and crisis prevention- How healthy marriages disciple children naturally- The weekly rhythms that have strengthened Devin's 27-year marriage- Why churches need an ongoing pathway for marriage discipleship- How Good Shepherd Church built a comprehensive marriage ministry- Why Grace Marriage became the missing piece after Re|Engage- The importance of creating a church culture where marriage investment is normal👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- Healthy marriages create healthy families, and healthy families disciple the next generation.- Couples don't naturally stay connected—they need intentional rhythms.- Devin's weekly rhythm includes Scripture individually, praying together daily, a protected Friday date day, and Grace Marriage workbook discussions.- Couples often believe love alone will sustain a marriage, but healthy marriages require ongoing investment.- Many churches invest heavily in premarital counseling and crisis counseling but neglect everything in between.- Churches should move from crisis management toward crisis prevention.- Marriage ministry is fundamentally discipleship.- Re|Engage provides intensive marriage discipleship, while Grace - ---- -- Marriage provides the ongoing rhythm needed afterward.- Churches don't need to create all their own curriculum—they can leverage excellent existing resources.- Marriage ministry should become part of the normal discipleship culture of the church.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage

Busy couples rarely drift apart because they stopped loving each other. More often, life simply crowds out the time and attention their marriage needs.In Part 2 with Frontline Marriage Founders Matt and Angel Rigsby, Brad Rhoads explores how couples can stay connected in demanding seasons without waiting for life to slow down. Matt and Angel share their simple GROW framework for meaningful daily connection, how they intentionally create margin in their family schedule, and why sometimes loving your marriage means saying no...to activities, invitations, even good opportunities.They also unpack what actually makes a date a date, why gratitude changes how you see your spouse, and how learning to see your husband or wife through God’s eyes can reshape how you treat them.In this episode:- How to stay connected when life is genuinely busy- The GROW framework: Gratitude, Report, Own It, Worship- Why couples need margin instead of filling every available hour- How to say no to good things so you can say yes to your marriage- Why your kids do not need unlimited activities- The difference between spending time near each other and actually connecting- Whether movies and double dates really count as date nights- Why gratitude is one of the simplest ways to strengthen a marriage- How seeing your spouse through God’s eyes changes how you value themMatt and Angel have been married for 27 years and have spent approximately 15 years helping couples strengthen and restore their marriages.Learn more at FrontlineMarriage.com.👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more couples discover the hope of a grace-filled marriage.🔑 KEY IDEAS:- Couples do not have to wait for life to slow down before reconnecting. They need to become intentional with the moments they already have.- GROW gives couples a simple rhythm for daily connection:  - G — Gratitude: Share something you appreciate about your spouse.  - R — Report: Keep each other updated on schedules, responsibilities, and life.  - O — Own It: Take responsibility, apologize, and clear unresolved tension.  - W — Worship: Ask how you can pray for one another and pray together.- Ten or fifteen intentional minutes can be more relationally valuable than hours spent distracted in the same room.- A life without margin eventually makes connection nearly impossible.- Saying yes to every opportunity inevitably means saying no to something else—often your spouse or family.- Parents have permission to limit activities. Children do not need every opportunity available to them.- Being together is not automatically the same as connecting.- Double dates can be great, but they should not necessarily replace one-on-one time with your spouse.- A movie can be part of a meaningful date, but couples should ask whether they actually connected.- Gratitude shifts attention away from frustrations and toward what is good and praiseworthy in your spouse.- The way you value something determines the way you treat it.- God—not you—is ultimately the “appraiser” of your spouse. Your spouse bears God’s image and should be treated accordingly.LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING?? ✅ Subscribe & Share – Help us spread the message of grace-based marriage by subscribing to the Grace Marriage Podcast and sharing this episode with friends or family.✅ Join Grace Marriage – Ready to invest in your marriage? Visit GraceMarriage.com to learn how proactive marriage care can transform your relationship.✅ Leave a Review – Your feedback helps us reach more couples who need encouragement.FOLLOW US:📌 Facebook: facebook.com/gracemarriage📌 Instagram: instagram.com/gracemarriage📌 YouTube: youtube.com/@grace_marriage