212: Jarred Christmas on budgies, beatboxing, Hugh Jackman and hating golf

We sit down for a serious chat in this episode as we celebrate the life of Lee, Helen's Mum, who passed away recently. And of course, we manage to have a few laughs along the way. We talk about the kind of person Lee was, and how lucky Helen was to have her as a parent. We discuss what it's like to prepare for the death of someone you love, and strategies for managing grief. Plus, find out the roles ABBA and East 17 played in Lee's passing. This episode is dedicated to Lee, with love. Thank you for listening.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do lesbians have the highest divorce rate? How do you navigate an open relationship? What goes on in a sex lab? Answering all these questions is the amazing Rosie Wilby! The comedian and author tells us all about her brilliant books, Is Monogamy Dead? and The Breakup Monologues. We discuss some of the fascinating things she's discovered through her research, and learn a superb fact about bonobos. Rosie explains why she and her wife are considering opening up their marriage, and reveals what it's like to perform stand-up at a sex party.You can follow Rosie on X @rosiewilby and on Instagram @breakupmonologues. And you can find the Breakup Monologues podcast in all the usual places. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2024! We are on our way to Stockport, North London, Kent, Oxford, Swansea, Cardiff, Mansfield, Leicester, Liverpool, Nottingham, Exeter, Redruth, Newbury, Watford, York, Sevenoaks... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What makes the Danish some of the happiest people on earth? How can we steal their ideas, and what's stopping us? Why are Norwegian women like oil rigs? Answering all these questions is the amazing Helen Russell! We talk about her brilliant new book,How to Raise a Viking. Join us as we go on a wonderful journey to a land where the streets are paved with trampolines, children are given knives to play with, and men are having VR sex in enormous spunk factories. We talk about dating in Denmark, and the dark side of living Danishly - is it really all hygge, all the time? And to finish, we have some super Scummy Mummy Confessions involving cat pee and Easter treats. Helen's book is out now! You can follow her on Instagram and X @mshelenrussell. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2024! We are on our way to Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport, North London, Kent, Oxford, Swansea, Cardiff, Mansfield, Leicester, Liverpool, Nottingham, Exeter, Redruth, Newbury, Watford, York, Sevenoaks... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Comedian, immigration lawyer, burlesque dancer, trainee wrestler, and absolute legend - it's Sikisa!She tells us how she went from being a barmaid to being on stage, and some of the weirder things she's seen while MCing one of London's most famous open mic comedy nights. We learn what it's like to go on Live at the Apollo with a concussion. There's a bit of serious chat as Sikisa discusses her work as an immigration lawyer, helping refugees and asylum seekers to stay in Britain. We hear what she thinks about the idea of sending people to Rwanda. (Spoiler: she has some choice words for the Government.) Plus, Sikisa talks about what it's like to be diagnosed with dyslexia in your thirties. Then it's back to the usual old filth and nonsense as we chat about wrestling, nachos, and dick pics. Sikisa shares a very strong Scummy Mummy Confession (NSFW, but are they ever) and reveals how she knows if a man is good in bed. Sikisa is on tour right now - go and see her in Glasgow, London, Leeds, Edinburgh, Brighton, Southampton, Manchester, Bristol and Machynlleth. Tickets via sikisacomedy.com. Follow her on Instagram @sikisacomedy.Sikisa's wrestling podcast, Wrestle Club UK, is available now on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Please enjoy this full length version of the Venga Boys / Lil Jon mashup. Thank you to Pac-Hole Rickelton for bringing this joy into our lives. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2024! We are on our way to Worcester, Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's the best way to write a bestselling book? Who would win in a fight between a shark and a gorilla? And what's it like to be bitten on the penis by a piranha? Answering all these questions is Matt Coyne, aka Man vs Baby! He tells us all about his brilliant new novel, Frank and Red, which is out now. We discuss our different writing processes, and the best way to deal with procrastination. Matt explains why one of his favourite facts about himself involves Ellie's Dad, and gives us a window into the general appearance of his pubic area. There's also some chat about farting, hypochondria, and Mussolini. For more from Matt, follow Man vs Baby on all the things, or check out man-vs-baby.co.uk.*WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2024! We are on our way to Chipping Norton, Tewkesbury, Worcester, Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

HELLO READERS! What's it like to go to Antarctica with your 76 year-old Dad? What is Ellie's problem with penguins? Why did she get taken away by Buenos Aires airport security, and why was it Jim's fault?  Answering all these questions are Ellie and Ellie's Dad! Helen quizzes them to find out all about the fortnight they've just spent on the frozen Continent. We hear all about the whales, the weather, and what it's like to go for a dip in 0.3 degree water. Ellie and her father share some of their seafaring family history as we hear the tale of James Gibson: sailor, ship's carpenter, and thwarted lover. Plus, find out why Jim never carries water on hikes, and what Helen has in store for 2024. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2023! We are on our way to Chipping Norton, Tewkesbury, Worcester, Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why are PTA quizzes the worst? Is Croydon really the Manhattan of London? And which star of The Chase has the most erotic fan fiction written about them? Here to play for a four-berth caravan and a fortnight in Tenerife are Lucy Porter and Jenny Ryan! Lucy tells us how she went from comedian to quizzing legend, and Jenny reveals the origin story behind her Chase nickname, The Vixen. We discuss our favourite gameshows of yore, and our experts share their top tips for hosting your own quiz at home. Stay tuned for the Scummy Mummy Confessions to find out which one of us is actually a filthy cheater. IMPORTANT CORRECTION: Helen is right and Ellie is wrong; echidnae have four penis heads, not three. However, only two can become erect at one time. You are welcome. The brilliant Fingers on Buzzers podcast is available from all the usual places. And the fantastic book of the same name is out now. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2023! We are on our way to Barking, Chipping Norton, Tewkesbury, Worcester, Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's it like to embrace Hugh Jackman? Which celebrity does Tom Price still dream of interviewing? And why does he want us to eat prawns off his wife's back? Answering all these questions is the actual Tom Price! The Magic FM drive time DJ takes a break from his busy three hours of work a day schedule to spend some quality time with us. We have a good old moan about what it's like to live with teenagers, and share the nice bits too. Then it's time for some hilarious star-studded anecdotes - tune in to find out what it's like to nearly have sex with Billie Piper, and learn which celebrity Tom ran out of things to say to. Plus: why does Ellie want him to set her up with the Weasley twins? We talk about Tom's brilliant podcast, My Mate Bought a Toaster. And we share some cautionary tales about why you should never go on the waltzer at Winter Wonderland. You can hear Tom on Magic FM every weekday from 4pm - 7pm. Follow him on Insta @thepricetom.*WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2023! We are on our way to Barking, Chipping Norton, Tewkesbury, Worcester, Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Thank you for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is the collective noun for a group of Lindas? How is anal sex like relationship bitcoin? And which Hollywood action star would Sam Pamphilon pleasure orally for £50,000? Yes, it's the Scummy Mummies Christmas Special!As usual, we get too drunk and talk absolute nonsense for too long. The same old Christmas podcast traditions are back, but Ham Review gets a new twist this year, and Nurse Jessie shares some news that leaves our jaws on the floor.Steve Hill literally phones it in, while Sam tells a story that will ensure you never enjoy using chopsticks again. Plus, it's the return of popular filth-themed game Anything for Money! Thank you so much to everyone who has listened to the podcast this year, and indeed for the last ten years. We love doing it, and we are so grateful for your support. Reviews and shares are always appreciated, but most of all, thank you for listening. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2023! We are on our way to Barking, Chipping Norton, Tewkesbury, Worcester, Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe. Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year! Ellie and Helen x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Christmas eating is great, but Christmas cooking can be stressful. Joining us with her top tips for creating calm in the kitchen is Sarah Rossi, aka @TamingTwins! She shares easy make-ahead recipes for starters and desserts, and a great idea for what to feed picky eaters on the big day. We talk about how we should all be getting into dump bags, which are nicer than they sound. Ellie reveals how Sarah's 15 minute Baileys cheesecake saved her Christmas last year, along with her theory that organised people are secretly the laziest bastards of all. Helen learns what a Snowball is, and her mind is blown. You can find Sarah's recipes for easy roast potatoes and slow cooker chocolate orange pudding on her blog, along with loads of other fantastic Christmas recipes. Her books, What's for Dinner? and What's for Dinner in One Pot? are out now, and they're bloody brilliant. Many thanks and an extra roast potato to White Stuff for teaming up with us for this episode. If you're looking for a Christmas outfit, check out their fantastic partywear - lots of glamorous velvet, gorgeous glitter, and pockets to stuff mince pies in. Also, do have a look at their adorable Christmas decorations - we love the little Christmas jumpers, and £5 from each sale goes to the excellent charity Home-Start UK. AND we have a discount for you - use the code SCUMMIES15 to get 15 per cent off all full-priced items on the White Stuff website! But get in quick - offer ends 12th December. *WE ARE ON TOUR!* Come and see our live comedy show in 2023! We are on our way to Trowbridge, Henley-on-Thames, Barking, Chipping Norton, Tewkesbury, Worcester, Northampton, Sutton Coldfield, Stockport... And new dates are being added all the time! Keep an eye on scummymummies.com for announcements and tickets. *WE HAVE A SHOP!* Visit scummymummiesshop.com for our ace t-shirts, mugs, washbags, sweatshirts and beach towels. FREE UK DELIVERY!   We're on Twitter (@scummymummies), Instagram, and Facebook. If you like the podcast, please rate, review and subscribe.Thank you for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.