Relationships Uncensored: Real Talk with Lisa Sonni

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!If leaving someone who hurts you still feels impossible—even when you know the relationship is unsafe—this episode explains why. Lisa Sonni sits down with therapist and Relational Life Therapy founder Terry Real to unpack trauma bonds, love addiction, intermittent reinforcement, and the childhood abandonment wounds that can make distance feel like a crash. They also look at how social expectations can keep women feeling responsible for a partner’s behavior. The conversation is clear about priorities: when there is a threat of physical violence, safety comes first, and couples therapy is not the place to start. For emotional abuse, the question is whether a partner is willing to do real work—and whether the therapist can name the abuse instead of treating it as a 50-50 problem. Terry and Lisa emphasize behavior and impact over labels, and the reminder that you do not have to keep accommodating harm. Change is possible only when there is accountability. If there isn’t, leaving is not failure. It is protection. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!If your partner admits what he did but still believes you deserved it, this episode explains why that happens. Lisa Sonni sits down with psychologist and author of Cruelty by Nature Dr. Peter Salerno to unpack the mindset of entitled, narcissistic men who know they’re hurting you and feel justified doing it. They explore ego-syntonic abuse, pathological entitlement, and how some people live in a self-created hierarchy where the rules simply don’t apply to them. Dr. Salerno distinguishes between reactive pain and instrumental, opportunistic cruelty, and why admitting the behavior is not the same as accountability. The conversation makes clear that when someone is more concerned with their image than the impact of their actions, understanding them has limits. What matters most is the effect on you—and whether real repair is ever on the table. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!This episode is about the connection between money, power, and a woman’s ability to leave a harmful relationship. We talk about how financial dependence can be created slowly through completely normal-looking decisions, and how “provider” dynamics can turn into control. Pattie also breaks down why a woman can appear wealthy and still have very little financial freedom of her own. We get into the long-term cost of caregiving, time out of the workforce, and the financial hit women often take when relationships end. Most importantly, we talk about why financial independence is not just about wealth. Sometimes it’s about having enough power and options to choose what happens next. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!If noticing a pattern has ever made you the problem, this episode explains why. Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Will, a licensed psychologist and director of the Center for Connection in Santa Barbara, to unpack how patriarchy, coercion, and gaslighting teach women to doubt their own judgment. They explore how controlling behavior can be framed as care, how pattern recognition gets dismissed as anxiety, and why the burden of proof so often falls on women. The conversation looks at early conditioning around compliance and keeping the peace, covert abuse that hides behind plausible deniability, and why asking whether he “meant it” can distract from the impact of repeated harm. Dr. Will brings a liberation-based lens that emphasizes safety, community, and connection—and the reminder that liberation is a collective effort, not something you have to carry alone. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!Abusive Men Aren’t Monsters: They’re Products of a Culture Men Help Protect | Jackson Katz If treating abusers as rare “monsters” has ever made the problem feel smaller than it is, this episode names why that story lets so many men off the hook. Lisa Sonni sits down with educator and author Jackson Katz to explain why domestic violence, sexual assault, and harassment belong to a larger system of gender inequality—and why prevention, accountability, and cultural change are men’s work, not just women’s. They unpack how “boys will be boys” lowers the bar, how boys are often socialized away from empathy, and how victim-blaming and monster narratives both help ordinary men avoid intervening. Katz also makes the case that feminism is good for men too: less restrictive masculinity, better relationships, and more honest conversations about power. The core message is clear: this is not about isolated bad guys. It is about a culture men help protect—and can help change. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!If you’ve ever been told that men are naturally wired to protect and provide—while being controlled, restricted, or blamed in the name of “safety”—this episode takes that story apart. Lisa Sonni sits down with Lisa Carr, known online as YV Edit, to unpack how the protector/provider myth often functions as control, coercion, and victim-blaming rather than genuine care. They ask the question the narrative avoids: protect women from whom? The conversation looks at how “protection” can become curfews, clothing rules, location tracking, isolation, and obedience demanded in exchange for provision. Lisa and Lisa Carr discuss family, policing, religion, child support, and everyday examples that show how often women are not protected by the men closest to them. The core message is simple: real protection does not require ownership, compliance, or submission. If someone is truly safe, they build safety without making you pay for it. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!Coercive Control: When You’re “Allowed” to Choose, But Pay for It | Lindsay Stoker If you’ve ever been “allowed” to do something, then paid for it with pressure, silence, tracking, or fear, this episode names that pattern. Lisa Sonni sits down with Lindsay Stoker, a 20-year stenographic court reporter and author of the forthcoming book The Control Code, to explain how coercive control hides behind permission, concern, and behavior that looks deniable from the outside.They unpack how control is built in tiny increments—constant texting, stonewalling, isolation, location tracking, and “boundaries” used to punish—until you start self-policing to stay safe. Lindsay frames early love bombing as territory acquisition and control as an engine that extracts compliance at the lowest cost. The key question is not what you were technically allowed to do, but what happened when you pushed back. Recognizing the pattern early matters, because fear itself is part of the abuse—and coercive control is strongly tied to lethality. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!How Abusers Use Technology to Track, Watch & Control You | Dr. Christine Cocchiola If “I just worry about you” or “text me when you get there” has ever felt more like monitoring than care, this episode explains why. Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, whose work in domestic violence, sexual assault crisis, and protective parenting helps survivors name coercive control—especially when it hides inside location sharing, passwords, and digital access that look protective at first. They break down how tech-enabled abuse can include tracking, account access, hidden cameras, phone and Wi-Fi surveillance, and devices disguised in everyday objects. Dr. Cocchiola emphasizes that patterns matter more than isolated requests: when a request becomes a rule and the rule keeps expanding, your agency shrinks. The conversation also covers post-separation abuse, why coercive control is a serious safety warning, and why strategy—not proving the truth to someone unsafe—is often the path to protection. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!If you’ve ever felt like the household manager while your partner acts helpless, this episode brings the nuance most conversations miss. Lisa Sonni sits down with Paige Turner, a mother of four and creator who talks about marriage, motherhood, and domestic labor, to unpack where weaponized incompetence ends and ordinary friction begins. They look at everyday examples—the dishwasher, the sink, snow gear, and “just give me a list”—and ask the real question: is your partner willing to learn and change, or is the work quietly landing back on you? The conversation challenges the idea that “you’re just better at it” means you should own it forever, explains how lists create a manager-employee dynamic, and names why time—not money—is the real currency of fairness at home. Paige and Lisa also make space for the gray area: not every conflict is abuse, but repeated shutdowns, defensiveness, and blame-shifting can signal something much more serious. Healthy partnerships can handle curiosity, accountability, and follow-through. If the inequity feels bad, that feeling is information—not a personal failing. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode!If you’ve ever been hurt, reacted, and then watched your reaction become the only thing that mattered, this episode names that pattern clearly. Lisa Sonni sits down with therapist Dr. Les Carter, who brings more than 40 years of experience in counseling, anger management, and emotional wellness, to unpack why narcissistic abuse feels so destabilizing. They break down the control tactics, double binds, “gotcha” dynamics, and DARVO-style flipping that turn your distress into the problem while the original harm disappears. Dr. Carter explains how narcissists operate from a false self, stay highly defensive, and often remain stuck in what he calls “trained incompetence.” Together they distinguish healthy boundaries from control, healthy interdependence from codependence, and emphasize that you are responsible for your own well-being—not for fixing someone committed to misunderstanding you. The takeaway is powerful: make room for the reality of the relationship, stay connected to supportive people, and trust your own perceptions again. My book, Your Husband Hates You, is available now on Amazon.Support the showThis is the podcast they don't want you listening to.👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with LisaJoin my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG | Watch on YouTubeGet My Books HereNew episodes drop every Tuesday.Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember:You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.