531 |Recovery Beyond Willpower | Liz Stanley

In this episode, Aaron Porter and Josh Bales discuss the importance of authentic community, the role of music and ministry, and the personal growth that comes from shared experiences among men. They explore how vulnerability and presence can transform relationships and spiritual journeys. Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store)   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.  

On this episode: Nate and Aaron reflect on their recent men’s gathering in Birmingham. Men arrived without expectation, and opened up and shared.   Nate and Aaron welcome Elizabeth Stanley for a thoughtful conversation about trauma, nervous system regulation, and emotional resilience. Drawing from her military service, academic research, and personal experience with PTSD and depression, Liz explains the “window of tolerance”—the range in which our thinking brain and survival brain can work together. She explores why chronic stress can lead to overachievement, collapse, unhealthy coping habits, and repeated patterns we struggle to understand.The conversation also examines why feeling better is not always the same as healing, how dysregulation spreads through families and organizations, and why recovery must include the body—not just intellectual insight or willpower.Liz introduces her Mindfulness Based Mind Fitness Training and shares a simple starting point: paying attention to the body’s points of contact with the chair, floor, and surrounding environment to help the nervous system recognize safety. Book: Widen the Window: Training Your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recover from Trauma Website: elisabeth-stanley.com Online training: Mindfulness Based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT), including an on-demand course hosted through Sounds True LinkedIn: Liz Stanley, PhD Mailing list: Available through her website, with access to an audi         Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store)   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

  Brannon and Tyler Patrick   On this episode: Nate goes straight to the interview because Aaron has the food poisoning.   Nate talks to Brannon and Tyler Patrick. Brannon and Tyler are brothers who are therapists, hosts of a call-in podcast called Therapy Brothers, and lead community retreats to help men become trustworthy. The brothers support both spouses, specializing in sexual addiction and betrayal therapy. They give first steps, if you are fresh, or maybe returning. Brannon and Tyler share how spouses can become blind to one another, not being able to see past their own hurts, and ways to see the other. They also discuss not killing sex to be a good man, curiosity about what’s driving the appetite, shame, and how both persons in a marriage are loved. Listen in to hear more.    Therapy Brothers Rising Son   Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store)   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Nate updates on Allie. Aaron is glad to have a co-host. And they reflect on the importance of a listening ear over preaching.   This week A.I. makes the notes and sucks at punctuation and conversational language. (Also, the normal notes guy gets sassy, see below.) How do you like it? Send feedback to [email protected]   Steve Cuss joins Nate Larkin and Aaron Porter for a wide-ranging conversation about trauma care, leadership anxiety, and the unseen emotional patterns that shape families, teams, and ministries. Cuss draws on his years as a hospital chaplain and his work with Capable Life to show why naming anxiety matters, why reactivity spreads, and how judgment-free curiosity can lead to real change.In this episode, the hosts and Steve Cuss discuss: How Cuss went from Perth, Australia to hospital chaplaincy in Knoxville and eventually to leadership coaching in Colorado. What trauma and death taught him that Bible college and seminary could not. Why chaplaincy stripped away pithy theology and exposed the gap between head knowledge and lived faith. The difference between acute anxiety and chronic anxiety, and why chronic anxiety is often invisible. How reactivity functions like a contagious emotional field in families, teams, and institutions. Why childhood vows and hidden assumptions often live in the body, not just the mind. The role of nonjudgmental regard in helping people change without becoming defensive. Practical first steps for breaking reactivity patterns by noticing, naming, and tracing the recurring cycle. How leaders can stop offloading anxiety onto others and start taking responsibility for the tone they generate. Why curiosity, repentance, and respectful confrontation can change a relational system. Key Frameworks: Acute anxiety vs. chronic anxiety - Acute anxiety is a real-time response to actual danger. Chronic anxiety is a false-threat response that becomes automated and hidden. Reactivity - Cuss’s practical name for chronic anxiety, especially when it spreads through relationships and teams. Emotional fields / hula hoops - A metaphor for how anxiety moves between people and becomes contagious in close contact. Childhood vows - Subconscious agreements formed early in life to avoid pain, which later become limiting beliefs. Notice, then name - The first move toward change is to identify what is happening instead of explaining it away. Notable Quotes: Copy (AI calling from CB) “The great gift of chaplaincy is it forces you to survive by being a human being.” Copy (10-4 good buddy) “Reactivity plus power is catalytic.” Copy (Breaker Breaker) “I need a somatic solution.” Action Items (business meeting jargon): Notice one recurring reactive pattern in your home, staff, or marriage this week. Ask whether your response is for the other person or for self-soothing. Name the pattern out loud instead of treating it as “just the way things are” Before advising, pause and ask what curiosity or compassion would look likeReduce the emotional “hula hoop” you bring home from work or conflict     Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store)   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The Introduction and Closing music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. Transitional music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

On this episode: Nate does promotions. Aaron flies solo.    This week: Aaron has a wonderful conversation with Pesa Shayo. Pesa and his wife Whitney Shayo help couples find unity in the most tested areas of marriage. Pesa shares how both members in a couple can be right and also work together. He discusses how in-laws aren’t the problem, but they find weaknesses and wedge their way in. Pesa gives lots of guidance on boundaries when other factors are at play. And Aaron suggest you figure out the cost of free money before taking it.   Links and Books: Live Your Best Marriage     Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store)   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

This week: Aaron talks to Dr Arielle Schwartz. Dr Arielle Schwartz is a psychologist’s teacher, author, blogger, and also leads courses and retreats. She shares her story of childhood complex PTSD. Complex PTSD is defined too. Discussing the different types of therapy practices that have helped her and what she uses to help others heal. There is guidance on how to move forward when the abuser is still and a$$hole. She affirms the value of community in growth and recovery. She also shares that acting out is a symptom of trauma. Listen in for all this and far more.   Links and Books: Dr Arielle Schwartz     NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

The Foundation of Marriage with Casey Caston   This week: Nate and Aaron talk Ireland. Aaron is 50! And, if you’ve read it, share your thoughts on the Silas book here.   Nate and Aaron talk to Casey Caston. Casey talks about how he slept on the couch the night he got married. This began his studies into what makes a healthy marriage. He shares that you don’t need more marriage therapy but processes and tools to heal and grow a marriage. Casey gives 4-steps to a really good apology. He gives guidance to the offended and the offender. He also shares that you shouldn’t be trying to change your partner, you should be changing yourself, for yourself. Other topics include: forgiveness and boundaries, men’s reset track, boredom in marriage, intentional time for your spouse, and more.   Links and Books: Marriage 365 The Marriage Habit: 10 Simple Practices to Build a More Intentional, Thriving Relationship     NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The opening and closing music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. Transitional music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

In this episode Aaron sails the Pirate Monk ship alone. Aaron talks to Troy Dircks. Troy is an author who wrote: Elite Mindset: Breaking Free from Pornography Addiction: Rewrite your brain, Reclaim your Life. Troy shares his journey to grow and heal from sexual abuse at six and later pornography addiction. He shares practical steps, the importance of vulnerability, and how small habits can transform your life. Troy also discusses the physical transformation and healing of the brain with books, exercise, and community engagement.   Links: Elt Mindset Troy Dircks Instagram Books: Elite Mindset: Breaking Free from Pornography Addiction: Rewrite your brain, Reclaim your Life   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) Sacred Impact Men’s Retreat August 13-17, 2026 Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

This week, Aaron hosts solo.   Aarons talks with Nina Pick. Nina is a somatic healing practitioner and integrative counselor, Neuro Affective Touch practitioner, group facilitator, and author. She shares her story of recovery since 2009. Nina explains how engaging the body accesses a deeper level of healing. She helps us to understand the connection between communication and addiction. Nina also explains the heart-genital disconnection, and how to reconnect them. She gives guidance on when only one partner is doing their own work. Listen in to this fascinating discussion.   Links: Nina Pick Books: Sober Secure: An Attachment-Based Guide to Dating, Sex, and Love in Recovery The Mind-Body Guide to the 12-Steps: Finding Joy, Sensuality, and Pleasure in Recovery   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) Sacred Impact Men’s Retreat August 13-17, 2026 Canadian Samson Summit Sept 18-20 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     The opening and closing music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. Transitional music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

In this episode, Nate Larkin and Ken Romero explore the themes of vulnerability, grace, and the transformative power of connection through personal stories and biblical insights. Whether you're facing your own struggles or seeking encouragement to connect more deeply with others, this conversation offers hope and practical wisdom. In addition this episode includes Nate speaking at the Sanctuary Church in Jupiter, Florida where Tullian Tchividjian is the lead pastor Resources & Links Samson Society Pirate Monk Podcast email John Newton's writings on Grace Learn more about addiction and trauma     NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) Sacred Impact Men’s Retreat August 13-17, 2026 Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to [email protected].     Introduction and closing music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society. Transitional music from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/     For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.   The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.