I’m doing the right things — why aren’t I happier? Dr Ross Ellenhorn
What if the problem isn’t you — but the way wethink about mental health?In this episode, Jess Leondiou speaks with RossEllenhorn about why so many people feel stuck, disconnected, or exhausted by self-work, even when they’re doing everything they’re told should help. Together, they explore more humane ways of understanding distress, change, and the need to feel held by others.This episode will help you think differently about mental health, not as something to fix, but as something shaped by connection, meaning, and context — and why losing those things can make even small challenges feel overwhelming.The conversation explores:• Why feeling “unheld” makes life feel harder• How therapy and psychiatry can become overly focused on fixing• The idea of fear of hope and why staying the same can be protective• How diagnosis and labels can shape identity• Creativity, art, and play as ways humans make meaningThis conversation stayed with me because it gave language to experiences I know many people feel but rarely hear named —especially the pressure to change without feeling supported, and the loneliness that can sit underneath self-improvement.If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing the inner work but still feel disconnected, this episode offers a different frame — one rooted in recognition, curiosity, and shared humanity.Guest Resources https://www.ellhorn.comPrograms and clinical work https://www.ellhorn.com/programsBooks How We Change (And Ten Reasons Why We Don’t)https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-we-change-ross-ellenhornHarold and the Purple Crayon and the Creative Imaginationhttps://www.harpercollins.com/products/harold-and-the-purple-crayon-and-the-creative-imagination-ross-ellenhornChapters 0:00 Intro02:32 Ross Ellenhorn on mental health, sociology, and his work04:45 Why trying to “fix yourself” doesn’t work07:32 Psychedelics, therapy, and the problem of medicalising healing10:58 Loneliness, feeling unheld, and why connection matters15:26 Conformity, creativity, and how we handle uncertainty19:48 COVID, isolation, and threat assessment theory29:59 Therapy, connection, and speaking in states not labels34:01 Fear of hope, change, and why staying the same feels safer47:31 Art, play, ritual, and creating meaning together01:06:12 Final reflections on hope and human connectionListen to more Make Your Mind episodeshttps://www.makeyourmind.co/podcast Follow Make Your MindInstagram — https://www.instagram.com/makeyourmind.coYouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@makeyourmindSubstack — https://jessleondiou.substack.com Connect with Jess LeondiouInstagram — https://www.instagram.com/jessleondiouLinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessleondiouYouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@jess_leondiou This podcast is sponsored by Archleys — toolsfor introspection and self-connection.Shop now: https://www.archleys.com #MakeYourMindPodcast #JessLeondiou#MentalHealth #Psychology #Connection #Loneliness #Hope #Creativity#SelfAwareness