Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence

In this episode of Why Do I Do This?, I answer a listener's question about why we constantly compare ourselves to people who seem further ahead in life.I explore the psychology of social comparison, why other people's apparent success can undermine our self-worth, and how social media makes it easy to mistake carefully curated snapshots for the reality of someone's life.But what if envy isn't necessarily something to feel ashamed of? What if it's actually telling you something about what you want?I share practical exercises to help you redefine success on your own terms, challenge the comparisons you make and take back control of your attention.Because there is no universal timetable for success, happiness or personal development. And somebody else's success doesn't make yours any less valuable.Takeaways👉 Comparison is natural, but it can distort your perspective. We often compare what we know about ourselves with what we believe to be true about somebody else.👉 Social media shows snapshots, not whole lives. You're seeing somebody else's highlights without necessarily seeing their struggles, sacrifices or setbacks.👉 Envy can reveal what matters to you. Instead of treating it as evidence of inadequacy, ask what someone else's achievement represents and what it tells you about your own ambitions.👉 Define success on your own terms. The things you think you should want aren't necessarily the things that will make you happy.👉 There is no universal timeline. If you're going to compare yourself with anybody, compare yourself with who you were yesterday, not somebody else's today.Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshophttps://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUg JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Kindle Pre-Orderhttps://amzn.eu/d/0i3FBvUX Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why setting boundaries can feel so uncomfortable, particularly when we're afraid of disappointing people or being seen as selfish.I look at why we say yes when we want to say no, how constantly prioritising others can leave us feeling resentful, and why feeling guilty doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong. Sometimes, what we experience as guilt is the discomfort of realising we can't control how someone else feels.I also share a practical three-question boundary check to help you make decisions that protect your values, communicate honestly and strengthen your relationships without abandoning your own needs.Because someone being disappointed with your decision doesn't automatically mean you've made the wrong one.Takeaways👉 Guilt isn't always evidence of wrongdoing. Sometimes it's the discomfort of seeing someone experience an emotion you can't fix.👉 Boundaries protect what matters to you. Your time, energy, values and self-respect are worth protecting.👉 Saying yes can come at a cost. Repeatedly ignoring your own needs can lead to exhaustion and resentment.👉 You can care about someone's feelings without taking responsibility for them. Their disappointment doesn't automatically make your decision wrong.👉 Honest communication strengthens relationships. Clear, respectful boundaries give people a better understanding of what you need.Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshophttps://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUg JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Kindle Pre-Orderhttps://amzn.eu/d/0i3FBvUX Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I sat down with Malachy Dunne to explore why changing our lives often requires unlearning the very things we've spent years believing.We discuss how childhood experiences shape adult behaviour, why crisis and grief can become catalysts for growth, and the important difference between accepting reality and simply resigning ourselves to it. Malachy shares insights from his own journey, including sobriety, recovery and the process of developing greater self-awareness.We also explore why information alone rarely changes us, how to interrupt automatic reactions, and why recognising that we have a choice can be the beginning of genuine freedom.Because sometimes the biggest obstacle to becoming someone new is everything we've learned to believe about who we are.Takeaways👉 Realisation can be more powerful than information. Knowing something intellectually isn't the same as truly understanding it.👉 Acceptance isn't resignation. You can acknowledge reality without giving up your ability to influence what happens next.👉 Change often requires unlearning. We need to question the beliefs, behaviours and mental models we've carried for years.👉 Self-awareness creates space for choice. Recognising your automatic reactions gives you an opportunity to respond differently.👉 Crisis can become a catalyst for growth. Difficult experiences don't automatically make us stronger, but they can invite us to reconsider how we live.Lifetime Therapyhttps://www.lifetimetherapy.co.uk/ Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshophttps://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUg JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Kindle Pre-Orderhttps://amzn.eu/d/0i3FBvUX Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore what happens when the roles and responsibilities that have defined our lives begin to change, and we realise we're no longer sure who we are without them.Whether you're a parent, partner, professional, or the person everyone depends on, it's easy to focus so much on meeting expectations that you lose touch with your own needs, values, and ambitions.I share practical ways to reconnect with yourself, understand what truly matters to you and rebuild self-trust through small, intentional actions. Because your roles are part of who you are, but they don't have to define all of who you are.Takeaways👉 Your roles aren't your identity. You can be a parent, partner, or professional without letting those roles define your entire sense of self.👉 Knowing your values gives you direction. When life changes, your values can help you decide what matters and where to go next.👉 You can be dependable without abandoning yourself. Looking after your own needs doesn't make you selfish or unreliable.👉 Small, honest questions can reveal a lot. Asking what you want, what matters and what you're avoiding can help you reconnect with yourself.👉 Change may disappoint other people. Their reactions don't automatically mean you're making the wrong decision.Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshophttps://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUg JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Kindle Pre-Orderhttps://amzn.eu/d/0i3FBvUX Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why we can become so dependent on other people's approval that we start losing touch with who we really are.I look at the difference between wanting approval and needing it, how people-pleasing can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves, and why the fear of rejection can lead us to hide our opinions, compromise our boundaries and become whoever we think others want us to be.Most importantly, I explore how to build self-trust, develop internal approval and create more authentic relationships.Because the goal isn't to stop caring what people think. It's to stop allowing what they think to determine how you feel about yourself.Takeaways👉 Wanting approval is human; depending on it can become a trap. The problem begins when other people's opinions determine your self-worth.👉 People-pleasing can leave you feeling lonely. When you perform to be accepted, people may connect with the version of you that you've created rather than the person you really are.👉 Rejection isn't a verdict on your worth. Sometimes you're simply not the right fit for someone else.👉 Self-trust reduces the need for external validation. The more you trust your own judgement, the less you need others to confirm that you're making the right choices.👉 Authenticity requires the courage to risk disapproval. You can respect other people's opinions without abandoning your own.JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Kindle Pre-Orderhttps://amzn.eu/d/0i3FBvUX Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why we can become trapped by regret, replaying old mistakes and judging our past selves with the knowledge we have today.We look at the difference between regret and rumination, why context matters when looking back, and how comparing ourselves to an imaginary version of where we think we “should” be can keep us stuck.I also share practical ways to reframe your past, practise self-forgiveness and use what happened then to change what happens next.Because you can't change what happened.But you can change what it means.Takeaways👉 Regret can teach you; rumination keeps you stuck.👉 You judged your past self with the knowledge you have today. Context matters.👉 Self-forgiveness doesn't require approval. You can accept what happened without excusing it.👉 Your imaginary timeline isn't reality. Stop comparing your life to where you think you should be.👉 The past can become information, not an identity. Ask: What can I learn, change and do next?JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Kindle Pre-OrderWebsitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I sit down with Nina Aouilk, a life coach and survivor of profound trauma, to explore her remarkable journey from homelessness and adversity to self-love, faith and purpose.Nina shares how childhood trauma, fear and painful experiences shaped her identity, and what it took to begin rebuilding her life. We explore the courage it takes to live authentically, the importance of boundaries and why learning to say no can be an act of self-respect.We also discuss emotional regulation, spirituality, healing and the power of small, consistent steps. Finding yourself is less about becoming someone else and more about finding the courage to be who you really are.Takeaways👉 Facing your fears can open the door to change. Growth often begins when you stop allowing fear to make your decisions.👉 Your past doesn't have to define your identity. Healing can help you separate who you are from what you've experienced.👉 Authenticity requires courage. Being yourself can mean risking rejection, but it can also bring a deeper sense of fulfilment.👉 Saying no is an act of self-respect. Healthy boundaries help you protect your values, energy and emotional wellbeing.👉 Small steps can create lasting change. You don't need to transform your entire life overnight to begin moving in a new direction.Nina’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/londonslifecoach/?hl=en JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore one of the most misunderstood patterns in human behaviour: self-sabotage.What if you're not actually trying to sabotage yourself? What if the behaviour you're calling self-sabotage is actually an attempt to self-soothe, pulling you back to something familiar and comfortable when fear or uncertainty feels uncomfortable?I explore how behavioural loops, identity, familiarity, and fear can keep us repeating patterns we know aren't helping us, and why success can sometimes feel more threatening than failure. Most importantly, I look at how curiosity and self-awareness can help us interrupt those patterns and develop healthier responses to discomfort.Takeaways👉 Self-sabotage may actually be self-soothing. We often return to familiar behaviours because they help us regulate discomfort, even when they don't serve us.👉 Familiar doesn't always mean healthy. We can become more comfortable with what we know than with what we actually want.👉 Fear can sit underneath self-sabotaging behaviour. Change, success and uncertainty can all trigger protective responses.👉 Your behaviour can become a loop. Triggers create familiar responses, which create familiar outcomes, until you notice the pattern.👉 Curiosity creates choice. Instead of asking, “Why am I doing this to myself?”, ask, “What is this behaviour trying to do for me?”JOIN THE BOOK WAITLISThttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore one of the questions many of us secretly ask ourselves: “Am I actually lazy, or is something else going on?”I look at the difference between burnout, exhaustion, avoidance and genuine unwillingness, and why calling ourselves “lazy” often stops us from understanding what’s really getting in the way. We explore how fear, overwhelm, depleted energy and lack of clarity can all look like procrastination.I also share two practical tools, the Energy Avoidance Check and the Ten-Minute Rule, to help you understand your resistance, take action, and respond to yourself with more honesty and compassion.Takeaways👉 Burnout is depletion, not laziness. When your capacity is genuinely depleted, pushing harder isn't always the answer.👉 “What’s getting in the way?” is a better question than “Why am I so lazy?” Understanding the cause gives you something you can actually work with.👉 Avoidance can be driven by fear. Sometimes we aren't unwilling to act; we're afraid of what acting might mean.👉 Small actions create momentum. You don't always need motivation before you begin; sometimes motivation follows action.👉 Learn the difference between inability and unwillingness. Honest self-awareness helps you know when you need rest and when you need to take responsibility.SIGN UP TO MY NEWSLETTER HEREhttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/newsletter Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin 

Why do we get so disappointed when people don't behave the way we expected?In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore how expectations shape our relationships, emotions and experiences, and why we often treat our predictions about other people as if they were promises.We look at the difference between preferences, expectations and boundaries, why unmet expectations can reveal deeper needs, and how communicating those needs can prevent unnecessary disappointment.I also share a practical framework for examining your expectations and learning to respond to reality rather than constantly fighting it.Because disappointment isn't always a problem to fix.Sometimes it's information about what you need.Takeaways👉 Expectations are predictions, not promises.👉 Disappointment can reveal an unmet need.👉 Communicate your needs instead of expecting others to guess.👉 Preferences, expectations and boundaries are different.👉 Emotional flexibility means learning to accept reality.SIGN UP TO MY NEWSLETTER HEREhttps://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/newsletter Websitewww.johnnylawrence.co.ukJohnny’s Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en Podcast Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en The Slavey of Addiction Documentaryhttps://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin