(Ep. 131) Sarah Noll Wilson: Curiosity cures conflict

In this special episode, I respond to the Wall Street Journal's front page story on feedforward and try to set the record straight.

IN EPISODE 149: Our professional and personal relationships can be better - but they don't improve by themselves. In Episode 149, Michael Bungay Stanier shows us how to get the best possible relationships by talking about the "how," not just the "what." You'll learn how keystone conversations promote relationships that are safe, viable and repairable; how asking five questions can reveal what's happening beneath the surface; and how make bad relationships bearable and good relationships even better. Relationships are too important to leave to chance. After listening to Michael, you'll get the most out of the relationships that matter most. ABOUT MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER: Michael Bungay Stanier is a coach, speaker and author who is best known for The Coaching Habit, the best-selling coaching book of the century. He's been named a top coach by Global Gurus, was the first Canadian Coach of the Year and was also a Rhodes Scholar. Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company, and his latest book is How to Work With (Almost) Anyone.

IN EPISODE 148: It's not enough to share perspectives. We need to advocate for them. In Episode 148, Heather Hansen shows us how to advocate to win -- the act of getting something positive because we've earned it. Heather explores the three things advocates do to get more wins, how men and women approach advocacy differently, why feedback seekers make for strong advocates, and the surprising ways advocates get more of what they want. (Hint: They make it about others, not themselves.) From learning how to set your non-negotiables to specific actions advocates take to build credibility, you'll learn how to get others to believe in your positions as much as you do. ABOUT HEATHER HANSEN: Heather Hansen helps leaders, sales teams and high powered individuals master persuasion and build credibility. She's is a former trial attorney who has worked with companies like Google, the American Medical Association and Berkshire Hathaway Home Services and has appeared on The Today Show, CNN, NBC, Fox Business and CBS. Heather is the bestselling author of ⁠The Elegant Warrior: How to Win Life's Trials Without Losing Yourself ⁠and hosts the Elegant Warrior podcast. Her most recent book is ⁠Advocate To Win: 10 Tools to Ask for What You Want and Get It.⁠ LINKS: ⁠Instagram ⁠| ⁠LinkedIn⁠ | ⁠Website

IN EPISODE 147: We've all been the target of a scam, fraud, or con - but we also allow ourselves to become the source. In Episode 147, Dan Simons and Christopher Chabris teach us the habits and hooks that make us more susceptible to bad actors and information. You'll learn why people spread misinformation without even realizing it, how our memories play a role in self-deception, the words and phrases that signal potential fraud, and the questions we can ask others and ourselves to stay alert. Even the best of us can fall for frauds - but after listening to Dan and Christopher, you'll be prepared to fight back. ABOUT DAN SIMONS & CHRISTOPHER CHABRIS: Dan Simons is a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois where he heads the Visual Cognition Laboratory. Christopher Chabris is professor and co-director of the Behavioral and Decision Sciences Program at Geisinger Health System and he's also faculty co-director of Geisinger's Behavioral Insights Team. Together, Dan and Christopher have been research collaborators for a quarter century, most notably with their work on the "Invisible Gorilla " experiment, which became a New York Times bestseller. Their latest book is Nobody's Fool: Why We Get Taken In and What We Can Do About It.

IN EPISODE 146: We know that the decisions we make today will determine the lives we lead in the future. The best way to get better outcomes? Get to know your future self. In Episode 146, Hal Hershfield explores the brain-based case for visualizing ourselves in the future. We discuss the benefits of prospection, ways to identify more strongly with our future selves, the value of "surrogates" and tapping the wisdom of elders, and why the future isn't as bleak as we sometimes make it out to be. We need to live in the present but look to the future -- and after listening to Hal, you'll know how to make tomorrow better today. ABOUT HAL HERSHFIELD: Hal Hershfield is a Professor of Marketing, Behavioral Decision Making, and Psychology at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management. His work has been published in top academic journals and in the popular press in outlets like the New York Times, Harvard Business Review, and the Wall Street Journal. Hal has worked with the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and numerous financial services firms like Fidelity, First Republic, Prudential, Morgan Stanley, and Merrill Lynch, and is the author of Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today.

IN EPISODE 145: It's one thing to resolve conflicts with people who are reasonable. But what can we do with those who aren't? The best way to gain power over a conflict is to give power away -- and in episode 145, Hesha Abrams shows us how to "hold the calm." You'll learn: Why it's more effective to name emotions than to blame actions How the brain receives and responds to information willingly Why you should use plural pronouns to activate reciprocity Ways to create space for listening Why it's better to focus on what others think and not what they say We gain what we give…and after listening to Hesha, you'll gain the tools you need to "hold the calm" and get the outcomes you want! ABOUT HESHA ABRAMS: Hesha Abrams is a master attorney mediator who has solved over ten thousand disputes over a 30-year career resolving some of the toughest commercial and business disputes involving patents, personal injury and even the secret recipe for Pepsi. She's written and spoken widely to audiences around the globe who are seeking a better understanding of conflict and pragmatic ways to resolve it, and she's the author of a great book, Holding the Calm: The Secret to Resolving Conflict and Defusing Tension.

IN EPISODE 144: Have you ever experienced a sudden and significant disruption in your work life? It may not be the end of life as you know it, but the start of a new life you never knew. In Episode 144, Bruce Feiler explores the power and possibilities of "workquakes" and their impact on our happiness, meaning and balance. We explore the tension between linear expectations and non-linear realities, why the happiest people "dig" instead of "climb," and how the wisdom of others can help us discover our innermost truths. We can be hero of our own story -- and after listening to Bruce, you'll develop the script and strength to write a new narrative. ABOUT BRUCE FEILER: Bruce Feiler is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including Life is in the Transitions, The Secrets of Happy Families, and Council of Dads. His three TED Talks have been viewed more than four million times, and he teaches the TED course, "How to Master Life Transitions." His latest book is The Search: Finding Meaningful Work in a Post-Career World.

IN EPISODE 143: We know that coaches help us do better. But did you know that anyone can become better at coaching? In Episode 143, Sara Canaday helps us hone our coach approach. We discuss why people have more coaching chops than they think, the difference between performance and developmental coaching, and five steps we can take to improve our coaching skillset. There's a coach inside each of us...and after listening to Sara, you'll unlock your inner coach to maximize better results and relationships. ABOUT SARAH CANADAY: Sara Canaday is a leadership consultant, speaker and author of three books. Her work has appeared in Forbes, Entrepreneur, and The Wall Street Journal, and she's a popular instructor for LinkedIn Learning and a member of the National Speakers Association. Sara's latest  book is "Essential Coaching Skills for Managers: The Tools You Need to Ignite Greatness in Each Employee."

IN EPISODE 142: We know high-trust teams enjoy better relationships and results, but they also need a big helping of risk and respect. In Episode 142, David Burkus explores the beliefs and behaviors of high-trust teams. He explains why it pays to share small bits of self-disclosure, how to treat conflict as collaboration, why team failures should be recast as learning moments, and the benefits of "help time" and reciprocal support. The best teams have each other's backs - and after listening to David, you'll know how to create them. ABOUT DAVID BURKUS: David Burkus is the best-selling author of five books about business and leadership. His work has been featured in numerous print and TV media including the Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, USAToday, Fast Company,  CNN and CBS This Morning, and he's been ranked by Thinkers50 as one of the world’s top business thought leaders. David is a TEDx and international speaker and has worked with leaders from organizations across all industries including Google, Stryker, Fidelity, Viacom, and even the US Naval Academy. His latest book is Best Team Ever: The Surprising Science of High Performing Teams.

IN EPISODE 141: Life would be so much easier if it weren't for other people, right? Learning how to deal with difficult people - especially when they're your boss - can be a gut-wrenching, angst-ridden experience, but it doesn't have to be a career killer. In Episode 141, Mary Abbajay shows us how to manage up without falling down. You'll learn how to identify and work alongside two distinct workplace personas, how to spot and maneuver around three dominant personality types, and why you shouldn't leave your success to someone else. Whether your boss is a micromanager, ghost or flat-out narcissist, Mary has practical tips to help you become a career victor, not victim. ABOUT MARY ABBAJAY: Mary Abbajay is president of Careerstone Group, which provides talent and organizational development solutions for business and government. She's also the author of the best-selling, award winning book, Managing Up: How to Move Up, Win at Work, and Succeed with Any Type of Boss. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Forbes, Financial Times, the Wall Street Journal and other major outlets, and she's the co-host of the weekly workplace advice podcast, "Cubicle Confidential." LINKS: Twitter: @maryabbajay LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mary-abbajay-managingup/ Instagram: @maryabbajay YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/maryabbajay Websites: www.careerstonegroup.com | www.managingupthebook.com Podcast: http://cubicleconfidential.com