How To Be a Family (and Still Be You)

Contraception is a huge burden for women and people with uteruses to bear. What would it look like—on a personal, cultural, and medical level—if more men took on that responsibility? Today on How To!, a conversation about gender equity for reproductive care, from changes in sexual education to more accessible vasectomies to the development of new contraception methods. Carvell Wallace welcomes two guests: Dr. Sarah Miller, a board-certified family physician and family planning specialist at Northeast Vasectomy and Family Planning, where she provides many vasectomies. And: Dr. Brian Nguyen, associate professor of clinical obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Southern California, sub-investigator for a network of male-contraceptive clinical trials, and director of The EMERGE Lab.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy and How To Orgasm. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Heather recently joined the board of her local library, a beloved institution from her childhood. While continuing to balance her day job, she is excited to be an active and engaged member of this community-led organization. But she’s also grappling with time management and effective communication with her fellow board members. How can she express her ideas and opinions without overstepping boundaries? In this episode of How To!, host Courtney Martin welcomes nonprofit consultant Malini Sridharan who offers expert advice on navigating the challenges of community leadership and the intricacies of board dynamics. If you liked this episode check out:  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Katie is terrified of dying. As the youngest in a big family, she can’t stop thinking about the fact that all her loved ones may die before she does. Katie is a comedy writer who knows how to get laughs, but her obsession with death is real, and getting in the way of living. In this episode of How To!, we bring on Rachel Menzies, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Sydney and author of Tales from the Valley of Death, to share what she’s learned about death anxiety. Exposure therapy is often the most effective way to overcome your fears, but how do you expose yourself to death? Rachel has some unusual ideas for Katie—and all of us—to take control of these intrusive thoughts, starting with lying in a body bag. Focusing deliberately on death, Rachel says, can actually help us appreciate life. If you liked this episode, check out “How To Not Be Scared.” Are you afraid of something? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the parent of five kids, Sadie is no stranger to feeling overwhelmed. Most of her kids have left the nest, but one adult daughter has severe autism and can’t live or work on her own. Facing the end of school-based support services, Sadie has to figure out what comes next for her daughter—and for herself. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sarah Wayland, the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents, to talk about parenting two autistic young adults and how to ask for help.  Links mentioned:  Your Child (Young Adult!!) Is Graduating: Here’s a List of Things to Do National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) The Arc If you liked this episode check out: How To Hack Any Bureaucracy, How To Date With a Disability, or How To Fill an Empty Nest. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To!’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Erica judges other people by default. Whether they are acquaintances, co-workers, or new arrivals in a club, her first impression is often negative. “I would like to learn how to quash that part of myself,” she says, because those judgments might be ruling out potential friendships. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Dr. Terri Apter, psychologist and author of Passing Judgment: The Power of Praise & Blame in Everyday Life. Terri explains that Erica’s initial reactions are more useful than she thinks—and can help her better understand herself.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Say What You’re Thinking Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At a new job, Jenna was put in charge of some beautiful plants that are imbued with deep significance to their co-workers. But despite Jenna’s best efforts, the plants aren’t doing so hot. Can the browning leaves, flopping stems, and dry soil be nursed back to health before it’s too late? On this episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Maria Failla, host of the Growing Joy podcast and author of Growing Joy: The Plant Lover’s Guide to Cultivating Happiness (and Plants). Maria addresses Jenna and other listeners’ questions on the How To! hotline, breaking down plant care basics and offering up practical tips to make growing houseplants fun!  If you liked this episode check out: How To Save the Planet, Starting With Your Yard and How To Restore Nature in the Heart of a City.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. This episode was produced by Sara McCrea and Rosemary Belson. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Correction, Oct. 9, 2024: This episode originally called Duotone Audio Group a podcast studio. Duotone is a music and sound production company. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The How To! hosts love helping listeners find the answers they need. But sometimes a host needs help, too. On this episode, Courtney Martin and her brother, Chris, open up about how their father’s dementia has led them to upend their own lives in order to become his caregivers. To help Courtney and Chris talk through what comes next, Carvell Wallace welcomes Dr. Allison Applebaum, whose book Stand by Me chronicles her own caregiving journey and her work at Memorial Sloan Kettering’s Caregivers Clinic.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Help a Loved One With Dementia and How To Make Aging Easier for Everyone Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ari always dreamed of starting his own podcast. When he started interviewing fellow academics for the Taylor Swift class he’s teaching, Ari suddenly had the perfect opportunity to turn those conversations into something called ¿What Are Taylor Swift Studies Anyways? Now he just needs to find an audience. On this meta episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Lauren Passell, founder of Tink Media and author of Podcast the Newsletter. Lauren shares creative ways to find new listeners and connect with your audience; tips that apply to all kinds of passion projects.  Resources Mentioned: Podcast Marketing Magic Podcast the Newsletter Transom NPR Training Rephonic If you liked this episode check out: How To Succeed at Social Media Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ben has two sons in the fourth grade. Like a lot of kids, they love YouTube videos, gaming, movies, and other online entertainment. Before his sons begin using social media, Ben wants to ensure they develop a good relationship with tech—and he’s ready to recruit other families at their school to agree upon some rules of engagement. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings in Richard Culatta, CEO of the International Society for Technology in Education and ASCD. He’s also the author of Digital for Good: Raising Kids to Thrive in an Online World. He shares his refreshingly practical approach to tech, screen time, and social media.  Resources Mentioned:  Guide to create healthy conditions in schools If you liked this episode check out: How To Face the A.I. Revolution and How To Help Teachers Thrive Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a tree destroyed Tucker’s roof during a tornado, he felt lucky to be alive—and underprepared for the next disaster his family might face. On this episode, Courtney Martin welcomes back author and former How To! host Amanda Ripley to discuss emergency preparedness and how regular citizens can react smarter during a devastating event. Amanda’s newly updated book is The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why.  After listening to this conversation, seek out (and save) this information:  CERT Training Your state’s homeland security website Your county’s emergency management agency  Local emergency alerts If you liked this episode check out: How To Keep Cool in a Crisis and How To Cope With Climate Anxiety. Also mentioned: How To Pick a College (and Actually Afford It) and How To Take a Gap Year Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices