243. Navigating Secondary Infertility

Society pressures women to stay youthful, but our guest on today’s episode, Tanya Dalton, has a motivating message that will encourage you to embrace aging gracefully and love the wisdom that comes with having more birthdays! Tanya is a bestselling author, motivational speaker, wife, and mother who is going to share with us why we should be excited about getting older!Several other cultures revere their older adults and grandparents are often seen as the wisest family members! However, in America, women in their 50s and older are seen as the “wicked stepmother” and the “old crone” tropes that come with negative connotations. Tanya explains why aging could not be further from this comparison and why it is in fact a beautiful thing that should not be feared! We know a lot of our listeners are entering their 40s soon, so we talk with Tanya about why your 40s can be exciting and a time for deep self exploration. Getting to know your true self over the years and quieting your ego will leave room for your intuition to speak and help you make life decisions more easily. Knowing what you truly want out of your life and doing the things you love will not only make YOU happier, but those around you as well. Let’s all celebrate our next birthdays with enthusiasm for another year of beautiful life worth living!Links & Resources:10% off at BETTERHELPFree sample pack with purchase of LMNTTanya’s Website Listen to Tanya’s Podcast: The Intentional AdvantagePurchase Tanya’s Books; The Joy of Missing Out and On PurposeLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Mom guilt can feel SO heavy in one season of life, and lighter in others. If you’ve yet to feel one of the lighter seasons, today’s episode is for you. We are here to tell you that we see you and we hope that today’s episode helps to open up the conversation about mom guilt.In today’s episode we both share how our mom guilt has changed over the years from when our children were infants to their ages now. For Abby, mom guilt currently shows up with her children’s involvement in sports and being able to spend time at practice and games with all the other life things going on creating schedule conflicts. Amy shares that having one child who is a deep feeler and big reactor requires a lot of hands-on parenting and how that has affected her other children and the guilt that comes along with making each of her three children feel special. Something both of us can relate to is the guilt that comes along with being a working mother. Amy finds encouragement thinking about the other working moms in her life that are both amazing career women AND amazing mothers! Seeing the proof you can be both at the same time and reminding yourself that your work is important for your family makes the guilt a little less heavy. Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, working to release the mom guilt will lead to a happier life!Links & Resources:20% off your purchase of Thorne20% off at Vuori ClothingHERself Episode 12 - Mom Guilt: How We’re Working Through ItLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Divorce is a heavy topic, but it happens and that’s why we thought it was important to bring you this episode. We are so lucky to have Kate Anthony as our guest for today. Kate is a divorce coach who helps women decide if they should stay or leave their marriages and is a wealth of knowledge of the divorce process. Whether today’s episode applies to you personally or not, it could be helpful for your sister, friend, or other family member. We hope you take what you need from today’s interview with Kate and pass this episode along to someone you know who may need the information too.There are two big common misconceptions about divorce that Kate breaks down for us. Lots of people think that couple’s therapy may be the first step towards reconciliation. However, it is not always the answer and Kate tells us which marriage scenarios should actually avoid it. If divorce is the route you choose, Kate shares with us how she thinks you should go about the first steps of the process as well as some important “do’s and don’ts” of divorce. If you, our listener, is living in an unhealthy marriage, we want you to know that you deserve to be happy. Reach out to a marriage coach, someone like Kate, who can help you discern what your next steps should be and utilize their resources. You deserve happiness and we support you! Links & Resources:Free sample pack with purchase of LMNT10% off at BETTERHELPFollow Kate on InstagramKate’s WebsiteListen to Kate’s Podcast: Divorce Survival Guide PodcastPurchase Kate’s Book; “The D Word”Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

As we are closing the chapter on this year’s summer season with the celebration of Labor Day here in the US, we thought it would be perfect to revisit our conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy from episode 146. Besides being a psychologist, Dr. Becky is also a mother of three and founder of Good Inside, the expert-guided, community-powered platform equipping parents with a new way of seeing and solving challenges at home. With a new school year starting, there will be many transitions for our kids. And for us as parents! Dr. Becky’s insight on parenting is so valuable as we go into this fall season. She opens up the conversation on a lot of topics that usually happen behind closed doors and has great advice on how to approach our children’s changing behaviors when going through transitional times like the start of a new school year. Dr. Becky encourages us that no matter where we are in our motherhood and parenting journey, it’s never too late to re-evaluate our behaviors and start to make a change.Follow Dr. Becky on InstagramDr. Becky’s WebsiteDr. Becky’s Online WorkshopsPurchase Dr. Becky’s Book; Good InsideLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today is a more casual episode between us, your hosts, Amy and Abby, as we talk all about stress and the way it’s impacted our lives, our families and friends, and the techniques we’ve learned over the years to get through those stressful times.Our long term partners can get the brunt of our stress. Sometimes that means our stress can be triggering for them and vice versa! Every person deals with stress differently. Do you withdraw? Do you nitpick? Do you yell? Reflecting on your inner self, what are your triggers while you’re going through a stressful time? Knowing these triggers can help you pause in the moment and approach the situation differently. Try narrating how you’re feeling to your kids so they know you’re reaching your limit to prevent an explosion. And don’t forget to utilize your “village”. Whether that’s nearby family or friends, lean on them to support you in times of stress. Most of the time, they will happily help! Work and friendship goes hand and hand for us as best friends who own a business together. Being open, honest, and direct about our stressors and what our needs are from each other has really helped us be on the same page with our expectations for the day-to-day workflow. We often check in with each other before unloading a heavy work-related topic just to make sure it can be given the proper attention it needs. Not taking things personally has really helped the way we respond to friends as well. What we want you to take away from this episode is that we all experience stress and stressful situations. And we all express our stress differently. We can’t handle it perfectly every time, but the goal is to take a deep breath and be a little bit better each day. Links & Resources:Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’Free sample pack with purchase of LMNTShrinkChicks PodcastLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This episode is a MUST listen! Today on the podcast we have Dr. Karen Tang. She is a board-certified gynecologist who is here to answer ALL of our questions about women’s health that we were never taught before! Her goal through her online presence is to help get rid of the stigma around women’s health so that women everywhere can live better.“Cycle syncing” is a popular trend going around online. Dr. Tang tells us that if it works for you to change your workouts and diet based on your cycle phase, then keep doing so! But it’s totally not necessary. Your flow can say a lot about your period health, so Dr. Tang covers how much flow is too little and also how much is too much and could be cause for concern. If you’ve been on birth control for several years and are wondering if it’s safe to continue, Dr. Tang breaks that down for us based on the types of birth control and the risk factors involved. As we enter into our late 30s and 40s, women start experiencing symptoms of perimenopause. We talk with Dr. Tang about what we can do during this transitional time to improve our experience of perimenopause. Dr. Tang leaves us with the encouragement that if you feel something is not right, don’t wait to seek help while you suffer. Talk to your provider or get a second opinion to come up with a plan to help you live your best life. You’ve got this!10% off at BETTERHELPTry Forage KitchenFollow Dr. Karen Tang on InstagramDr. Karen Tang’s WebsitePurchase Dr. Tang’s Book; It’s Not Hysteria, Everything You Need to Know About Your Reproductive Health (but Were Never Told)Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today on the podcast we are happy to have Megan McNamee of Feeding Littles. Megan is a Registered Dietician Nutritionist who works specifically with babies, children, and their families to promote positive eating habits. Megan began teaching feeding courses at her local hospital after an unfortunate series of events before her first child was born. It was there that she fell in love with teaching families and babies and met Judy, an OT and feeding therapist, and created Feeding Littles together!Do you have a picky eater? Megan wants you to know that picky eating is normal in childhood! And it won’t last forever. You know your child the best, so the guidelines Megan shares with us today may not apply to every situation, but are a great starting place to help your picky eater. We’ve all heard how beneficial it is for our children to sit as a family for dinner time because it is a time for connection. But we realize that our school-age children have activities that happen during the evenings. Not every family can sit down daily for a meal together, so just do it when you can! We also go through some tips about snacks before bed, easy protein sources, and how you as a parent can set a good example through food. Making school lunches can get overwhelming. Megan and Judy’s new book, Feeding Littles Lunches, is the perfect inspiration you need to create simple, easy, and nutritious lunches for your kiddos. With beautiful photography and a list of easy swaps for allergies/diet needs, this book will be your saving grace this upcoming school year! We’ve been using it this summer for packing our kids’ lunches and loved all their ideas!Links & Resources:20% off at Vuori Clothing20% off your purchase of ThorneFree drink mix sample pack with purchase of LMNTFollow Megan on InstagramMegan’s WebsitePreorder Megan and Judy’s Book - available August 27th; Feeding Littles LunchesLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Lauren Goodwin, creator of Career Contessa, loves helping women navigate their careers. After having done all the “right” things, her first job after college left her wanting something more. After a long job search, Lauren became a recruiter. Now on the other side of the hiring process, she finally understood what employers were looking for. And from that, Career Contessa was born! There are more women in the career world now than ever before! Lauren tells us that job flexibility and pay are the two main things we should be mindful of in our current careers. If you’re feeling burnt out, present your boss with a list of solutions to your desires that would give you more flexibility in your current role. Pay is always something we should be evaluating too, even if we are happy at our current jobs. Researching the open market for salaries of your same position at other employers can help you know your value and worth. Lauren goes over how to have a salary negotiation if you find you are being undervalued at a job that you love.Networking is everything! We know you’ve been told to network externally, but don’t forget to be relationally-minded within your current company. Lauren suggests keeping your Linkedin profile up to date even if you are taking a career break. It’s also never too late to pivot into a new career field if your priorities have shifted. And don’t forget, sometimes the “good enough” job allows us a better work/life balance than the “dream job”. To wrap up our interview, Lauren shares  her opinion on some popular career advice!Links & Resources:Enroll in the HERself Self-Care CourseFollow Lauren on InstagramLauren’s WebsitePurchase Lauren’s book, “Power Moves”Listen to Lauren’s Podcast: The Career Contessa Podcast10% off at BETTERHELPCode ‘HERself’ for 25% off your purchase of GoodwipesLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the 

Today on the show we are talking with Dominika from Dog Meets Baby. Dominika is a certified dog trainer who works specifically with families who have a dog and are bringing home a new baby or have kiddos and are bringing home a new dog. She helps to make the transition smooth for both kiddos and canines! Dominika’s first piece of advice if bringing a new baby home to the family dog is to have a plan - don’t wing it. If you are able to, practice! We go through some details of how to do this in today’s episode. Don’t forget to plan where your dog will go or who will stay with them while you are in the hospital for delivery!If you feel your family is ready to add in a canine companion, it’s important to choose a dog that will fit into your family’s lifestyle. Dominika shares her insight on several points to consider when picking a dog. Is there a magic age that your kiddos should be before adding a dog to the family? Dominika tells us the age, based on the research, and a bit of an explanation behind it. The last thing any parent wants to happen is your dog biting your child. Dominika tells us that we should have safety rules set in place that will prevent bites. But also what to do if it does happen. Ensure you have a safe and happy home set up for your kids and your dog to cohabitate with Dominika’s checklist we’ve linked for you down below. Children and dogs take a lot of care and attention, finding that happy balance spending time with both will create a happy dog and a happy family!Links & Resources:Enroll in the HERself Self-Care CourseFollow Dominika on InstagramDominika’s WebsiteDog Meets Baby Blog Post: How to Select a Dog for a Family with Young KidsDog Meets Baby Preparation ChecklistFree Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’20% off your purchase at ThorneLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

(Trigger warning: secondary infertility, miscarriage)1:8 couples will experience secondary infertility. Allie Karagozian, Occupational Therapist, momma, and founder of @holdingboth, always knew she wanted to be a mom. After using fertility treatments to conceive her first child, she was overjoyed to become a mother. When she and her husband were ready for a second child, they were met with secondary infertility troubles. From that hardship, @holdingboth was created with the mentality that it is okay to be thankful to have a child, but still grieve not being able to have another. Allie wants to bring more awareness to secondary infertility and through her business she provides support and a safe landing place for those families walking through it. Allie wants you to know that it’s important to take care of your mental health during the journey of secondary infertility. She highly recommends that you and your partner seek therapy through any outlet you feel comfortable with, whether that’s through your insurance, BetterHelp, or support groups like the ones Allie hosts. And if you’re a friend of someone going through infertility, it can be hard to know what to say and ask. Allie gives us a great insight as to what thoughtful questions to ask to show you care without causing overwhelm.And if you are going through a pregnancy loss, we want you to know it’s okay to ask for help. Ask a friend or family to take your other children for the day so you can rest. And please give yourself some grace during this time. We understand this is a sensitive topic, and if listening to this episode is too much right now, we understand, and encourage you to tune back when the timing is right. Links & Resources:Enroll in the HERself Self-Care CourseFollow Allie on InstagramAllie’s WebsiteListen to Allie’s Podcast: The Secondary Infertility PodcastThe Miscarriage Doula on Instagram Resolve Support Group for Men10% off at BETTERHELPFree sample pack with purchase of LMNTLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen