Jen Lee — Astounding Story from a Dating Abuse Survivor

Romana Frey's experience as a survivor of domestic abuse led this tireless advocate to her “life’s purpose”: working toward the elimination of violence against women, specifically violence that occurs in the home. Our interview would be full enough with her story of abuse from her parents and, later, her husband, but it also includes decades of stalking, a suicide within her family, and severe brushes with narcissistic family members. You will hear how Romana took what she was dealt and used it as the life experience she needed to take on the unfair treatment of women in Canada. As founder and director of Amamor Women’s Foundation (AWF)—a grassroots, registered charitable organization that provides grants to registered charities, she is working to reduce domestic violence and femicide in Canada. Romana's mantra is "See something, say something". You will hear how she followed her call around the world with the purpose of ending abuse. Learn more about Romana Frey and her mission at: amamorwomensfoundation.com. Romana can be emailed at: [email protected] Bill Mitchell    WhenDatingHurts.comZencastr An Attractive Offer for You:   Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.Cure WHEN DATING HURTS is supported by Cure Hydration.  Try Cure today and feel the difference for yourself!   Use my link:  https://zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts1 for 20% off your order, coupon activated a check out!BlendJet WHEN DATING HURTS is supported by BlendJet.  Use my special link: zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts12 to save 12% at blendjet.com. The discount will be applied at checkout!

This is part two with Amy. Be sure to listen to part one first. We pick up on Amy and Brian as the turbulence he causes gets much worse. Amy holds onto the hope and good feelings she once felt about Brian, but he has other ideas. Amy exhibits many of the characteristics we have seen in other abuse victims: She is affable, generous, optimistic, loyal and forgiving. He is the opposite of the man she met online; the man she thought loved. He became the narcissistic abuser living in the same home with Amy and her young daughter.Brian was well-practiced at deception: knowing how to groom Amy in their relationship and portray himself as a charming partner. But when he had Amy where he wanted her, the real Brian emerged. And Amy's world turned upside down.Amy's story of abuse gives us keen insights into how someone can get completely trapped by a calculating abuser. See how this innocent woman came to doubt her own sanity. After giving Brian more last-chances than he deserved, in part two, Amy seeks help and learns ways to turn the tide in her favor. NOTE: Today, Amy considers herself and her daughter fortunate to get away from Brian alive. Bill Mitchell    WhenDatingHurts.comZencastr   An Attractive Offer for You:     Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.BetterHelp   WHEN DATING HURTS is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/WhenDatingHurts and get on your way to being your best self.BlendJet   WHEN DATING HURTS is supported by BlendJet.   Use my special link: zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts12 to save 12% at blendjet.com. The discount will be applied at checkout!Cure   WHEN DATING HURTS is supported by Cure Hydration.  Try Cure today and feel the difference for yourself!   Use my link:  https://zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts1 for 20% off your order, coupon activated a check out!

This is part one of two. It's a story you can relate to — and learn from. See how innocently this relationship began. Everything seemed perfect. It looked like it had a long future. What took place later could happen to anyone. Amy fits many of the characteristics of an abuse victim. She is affable, generous, optimistic, loyal and forgiving. Quite the opposite from the man she met online, thought she loved, and lived with along with her young daughter.Like many women, Amy met a guy she quickly fell for. Brian perfectly met her checklist of the kind of a man she was hoping to find. But he was well-practiced in deception: knowing how to bring her along and portray himself as an engaging partner. When he had her where he wanted her, the real Brian emerged. And her world turned upside down.Amy's story of abuse gives insights into how someone can get trapped by a calculating abuser. See how a woman can come to doubt her own reality. Amy considers herself fortunate to get out alive.   Bill Mitchell   WhenDatingHurts.comZencastr  An Attractive Offer for You:    Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.BetterHelp  WHEN DATING HURTS is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/WhenDatingHurts and get on your way to being your best self.BlendJet  WHEN DATING HURTS is supported by BlendJet.   Use my special link: zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts12 to save 12% at blendjet.com. The discount will be applied at checkout!Cure  WHEN DATING HURTS is supported by Cure Hydration.   Try Cure today and feel the difference for yourself!   Use my link:  https://zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts1 for 20% off your order, coupon activated a check out!

Mikkel Becker joined with me months ago for her interview. Since then, I am happy to say she and I have kept in touch. She asked if there was anything she could do for the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast. Mikkel offered to record her thoughts looking back upon two marriages she had with husbands who turned out to be abusers. What she created is a stream of thinking I hope you agree is priceless in its honesty and its generosity for relaying powerful insights that can keep you or someone you care about safe. What you will hear is worth sharing with your dating-age child, a friend, a co-worker—or anyone who needs to hear this. Thank you, Bill Mitchell   WhenDatingHurts.comZencastrAn Attractive Offer for You:  Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.If want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.BetterHelpWHEN DATING HURTS is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/WhenDatingHurts and get on your way to being your best self.  BlendJetWHEN DATING HURTS is supported by BlendJet. Use my special link: zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts12 to save 12% at blendjet.com. The discount will be applied at checkout!CureWHEN DATING HURTS is supported by Cure Hydration. Try Cure today and feel the difference for yourself!  Use my link:  https://zen.ai/WhenDatingHurts1 for 20% off your order, coupon activated a check out!

Part two of Meagan's story of abuse picks up immediately after she escaped certain death had she fallen from her fourteenth-floor apartment balcony. Her fall would have been precipitated by her boyfriend, Max. She is not sure what o do about this abuser/boyfriend. Is he an unfortunate victim of himself, or a serial abuser bent on making her life a living Hell?Meagan is presented with a few chances to leave Max. But she wonders if a few facets of their relationship can be turned around, maybe it can become what she thought in the early days. In this WHEN DATING HURTS episode, there are times when Meagan chooses to remain with Max over finding her own freedom. It's a vicious cycle many victims find themselves stuck in. She isn't sure whether to go to the police, call a domestic violence agency, or return home to endure further emotional and physical abuse from this man. One morning, when Max was determining whether to kill her or let her live, it was time for her to decide her own fate. This episode points out examples of abuse like "love bombing', "gaslighting", and more classic techniques worked to perfection by today's abusers. Be sure to listen to the end. Bill Mitchell   WhenDatingHurts.comAn Attractive Offer for You: Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you:  Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.

Part one of Meagan's story of abuse, takes her from Canada to New Zealand to Australia. Along the way, she meets a man she thinks is just the one she needed at just the right time. Her narrative soon becomes an inexplicable story of serial mistreatment. Like many accounts of abuse told on this podcast, Meagan's story left me speechless many times. How such an agreeable, young, smart woman could become captured by one man's vicious web of abuse remains beyond anyone's comprehension. Hear this narrative and hope you never meet up with someone like Max: a man so devious, so thoroughly awful. Max found  ways to keep an inescapable grip on Meagan time and time again. Often, we ask ourselves why (how) anyone would go back to their abuser. But there is more to these tangled relationships than we know. There is a pull there most of us have never felt. This episode helps us gain understanding. Max appeared to be just what Meagan needed to make her feel complete. But he came to represent a serial abuser who made her life a complete nightmare. Things start out slowly. But hang on. This is going to become unbearable.  Bill Mitchell  WhenDatingHurts.comAn Attractive Offer for You: Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.

My guest, Kaytee Gillis, is a psychotherapist, author, and consultant working with survivors of traumatic relationships—whether familial or romantic. She is also a domestic abuse survivor herself. She will talk about this. Her recent book, Invisible Bruises: How a Better Understanding of the Patterns of Domestic Violence Can Help Survivors Navigate the Legal System, sheds light on the ways that the legal system can perpetuate the cycle of domestic violence by failing to recognize patterns that would otherwise hold perpetrators accountable and protect survivors. Kaytee has been featured on iheart radio, the Dr. Wendy Walsh Show, CP24 News out of Toronto, Newsweek, Shaye Ganam's radio show, and numerous articles online including Psychology Today, Psychotherapy Networker, Choosing Therapy, The Mind Journal, The Good Men Project, and many more. She provides training on recognizing patterns of domestic violence and family trauma, and helping survivors move forward. Bill MitchellWhenDatingHurts.comAn Attractive Offer for You:Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.

My guest, Kaytee Gillis, is a psychotherapist, author, and consultant working with survivors of traumatic relationships—whether familial or romantic.She is also a domestic abuse survivor herself. She will talk about this.Her recent book, Invisible Bruises: How a Better Understanding of the Patterns of Domestic Violence Can Help Survivors Navigate the Legal System, sheds light on the ways that the legal system can perpetuate the cycle of domestic violence by failing to recognize patterns that would otherwise hold perpetrators accountable and protect survivors.Kaytee has been featured on iheart radio, the Dr. Wendy Walsh Show, CP24 News out of Toronto, Newsweek, Shaye Ganam's radio show, and numerous articles online including Psychology Today, Psychotherapy Networker, Choosing Therapy, The Mind Journal, The Good Men Project, and many more.She provides training on recognizing patterns of domestic violence and family trauma, and helping survivors move forward.Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.comAn Attractive Offer for You: Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.

Bianca contacted me wanting to share a situation her daughter, Gracie, experienced in high school. It was not in any way a romantic relationship, but had all the markings of an unhealthy relationship with Liz, another high school student.Gracie was lured into this abusive relationship during the high water days of Covid, when students needed to stay at home. So, getting access to school friends was limited. Time spent with Liz made it possible for her to manipulate Gracie until it became what could be termed “classic abuse”.This WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode demonstrates how students at the ninth and tenth grade levels can be taken advantage of if they are not introduced to the warning signs of unhealthy relationships. It is often within these relationships our young gain experience with how words and actions affect others.Gracie learned a tough lesson—as did her parents. Please share this episode with those you feel need to hear it.Bill Mitchell  WhenDatingHurts.comAn Attractive Offer for You: Hey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Use my special link zen.ai/whendatinghurts and use "whendatinghurts" to save 30% off your first three months of Zencastr professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story using Zencastr.

Maureen Murray is not a "counselor" per se. Her task with Laurel House Domestic Violence Agency in Montgomery County, PA is teaching in the community (mostly with the school populations) educating students about healthy relationships, dating violence, or domestic abuse depending on the audience. The education Maureen dispenses also brings her teams into universities, police stations, corporate offices, and so on.This WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode touches on how to introduce students at the ninth and tenth grade levels to what is meant by a healthy (or an unhealthy) relationship. It’s within these early relationships that our young gain knowledge of how words and actions affect others.Many areas are covered in this invaluable episode. Please share with those you know who you feel need to hear this.Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.comHey, if you're a podcast host, here's some advice for you: Go to ZENCASTR.com/pricing and use my code whendatinghurts, and you’ll get 30% off your first 3 months of ZENCASTR professional.I want you to have the same experiences I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It’s time to share your story.