True Lovefraud Stories

Donna Andersen of LoveFraud.com interviews northern Virginia family law attorney Soo Kang Keithley about divorcing a spouse who shows narcissistic, antisocial, or psychopathic traits. These are high-conflict divorces, and Keithley says she always tries to settle the cases to keep them out of court. She first tries to negotiate with her client’s soon-to-be-ex, or his or her attorney, to avoid triggering narcissistic rage. If that fails, she can then pursue aggressive litigation. When her clients suspect hidden assets, Keithley notes that they need to review financial records themselves, even though it may feel traumatic. She offers advice on how to choose an attorney to handle a high-conflict divorce and the best way to make a choice —trust your intuition. Timeline 01:24 Meet Attorney Soo Kang Keithley 02:15 Understanding high-conflict divorces 08:51 First strategy — negotiation 12:39 Critical skills for dealing with disordered parties 15:28 How Soo Keithley learned about narcissists 17:24 How to find hidden assets 20:36 Forensic accounting tools 22:50 When opposing counsel is unethical 26:41 How to choose the best lawyer for you 29:27 The importance of trusting your intuition 31:58 Questions to ask when interviewing attorneys 35:38 Reporting ethics violations 37:18 Building a war chest to fund your divorce 41:58 Closing and resources

Her goals in life were modest. All “Helen” wanted was a family, home and horses. But overriding her intuition, she picked the wrong husband. “Mark” was an okay partner for a while but then became devious and abusive. When the marriage was over, he tried to take Helen for everything she had. Unfortunately, he found so-called divorce “professionals” to go along with his evil plan.

Yes, women absolutely can have exploitative personality disorders, although the symptoms manifest differently than they do in men. Amber Ault, Ph.D., a sociologist and licensed clinical social worker, describes the manipulative behavior of female sociopaths — they tend to engage in less physical violence, and more emotional or psychological violence. Amber explains why this is so shocking to their victims, both male and female. She also offers great tips on avoiding toxic relationships and finding healthy ones. More information Listen to the podcast Amber Ault refers to: Seduced and scammed by a female sociopath. More information about Amber Ault, Ph.D.: Amberault.com Resources 5 Step Exit webinars For survivors: The Five Step Exit: Tools you need to leave a psychopath, narcissist or other toxic partner For therapists: The Five Step Exit: Tools you need to help clients leave a psychopath, narcissist or other toxic partner Books by Amber Ault The Wise Lesbian Guide to Getting Free from Crazy-Making Relationships & Getting on with Your Life The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Narcissist, Psychopath or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on dealing with narcissists and sociopaths, and help in your recovery, by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

As a social worker, “Emma” was trained in psychology, mental health and personality disorders. Still, she had blind spots when it came to her personal life. Even though she had misgivings about her new girlfriend, “Taylor,” she ignored her moral compass. In the end, the relationship cost Emma her job, her home, almost all her possessions, and her very sense of self. Female sociopaths, she learned, are masters of seduction. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. Donna Andersen, host of True Lovefraud Stories, helps you in your recovery through EFT tapping, reiki and guided mindfulness. Contact her at lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

Narcissists have a reputation for being entitled, attention-seeking blowhards, and most of them are. A subset of narcissists, however, believe they are just as entitled to whatever they want but display it differently. In this episode, Dr. Marni Feuerman explains “covert narcissists” — people who use more subtle strategies as they manipulate others. She discusses how this disordered behavior affects their romantic partners and what you should do if you suspect you have a narcissist in your life, whether overt or covert. Listen to the podcast Dr. Marni Feuerman refers to in this episode, in which Katherine tells her story: “He pitted all of us women against each other.” For more information about Dr. Marni Feuerman and her services, visit TheTalkingSolution.com. For Dr. Marni Feuerman’s digital resources and online courses, visit DrMarniOnliine.com. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on dealing with narcissists and sociopaths, and help in your recovery, by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

“Katherine” thought she was in a relationship with “Jay,” but now she describes it as a “situationship.” Or a “manipulationship.” Jay was a personal trainer at her gym. He eased her into a sexual liaison, which he insisted must be kept secret or he’d lose his job. It went on for two years. Then when Katherine learned the real reason why he wanted to keep secrets, she was devastated. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

Growing up with a self-centered, indifferent or neglectful mother is more than psychologically damaging. Kate Munden, an integrative therapist from the UK, explains that this treatment is actually narcissistic abuse, and it affects a child’s personality development and nervous system. But, Kate says, it is possible to slowly, gently, unwind the damage as an adult and move forward to a full and happy life. She offers strategies on how to do it. Listen to the podcast Kate Munden refers to in this episode, in which Charlotte tells her story: “I could have been my mother’s third victim.” For more information about Kate Munden and her services, visit KateMunden.com To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

Mom was always cold, indifferent and critical. At a fairly young age, “Charlotte,” her daughter, figured out that the woman was not a good mother. But after two family tragedies, Charlotte saw that her mother wasn’t just mean, she was evil. And then she realized the effect of her mother’s disorder on her own life. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also make an appointment with Donna Andersen, for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual.  If you would like to share your story for a possible podcast episode, please visit the Lovefraud survey.

Many people who endure narcissistic abuse end up trauma bonded to their abuser. Psychologist Carla Shohet explains that this is a psychological and physiological bond — literally an addiction. Recovery requires more than talk therapy, she says. Traumatic memories and mistaken beliefs become trapped in the body, and they need to be gently removed from the body. Carla describes several methods that she uses to do it. Listen to the podcast Carla Shohet refers to in this episode: The trauma bond is so real and so strong For more information about Carla Shohet and her services, visit CarlaShohet.com To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also make an appointment with Donna Andersen, for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual.  If you would like to share your story for a possible podcast episode, please visit the Lovefraud survey.

“Sarah” had a history of abusive relationships. “Tim” seemed so different —he was a handsome, high-ranking military officer who was soft spoken, attentive and caring. But slowly he became controlling and violent. Sarah was so trauma bonded that even though she knew Tim was dangerous, she couldn’t leave. “I couldn’t live with him and I couldn’t live without him,” she said.