It's Ok Not to Love Every Moment of Parenthood

Today I have back with me, a very awesome special guest Carter, who, as you know, is my partner. And today we are going to talk about communication. Communication is a topic that we really want to talk about. But it's also a topic that you all have been very interested in. Because it's really hard to have healthy communication within a partnership. And it's something that we have worked on, as well as something that we make an active effort to have strong communication skills within our partnership.  Carter and I come from partnerships where we didn't feel strong communication was there. We just recently did a reel which was a real conversation. And so many had so much to say, especially how they wish they could have that type of communication with their partner. And so, we felt it would be really supportive to you to discuss how we've gotten to where we've gotten, what has worked, tips and tricks and tools and kind of our journey along the way of how our communication has gotten to where it has gotten. Carter and I truly believe that the key to a healthy and strong communication partnership is the “I” statements. Expressing your feelings with “I” statements, whether they are negative or positive makes a huge impact in your relationship. But it's also the active listening of hearing those “I” statements and then not taking it on, that you yourself are a failure. Being self-regulated, requesting our needs, checking in with one another as well as knowing one another’s defense mechanisms are also important areas and discussions to have when working on thriving in a healthy and strong communication partnership.   But without a doubt intentional commitment is a requirement needed in order to see change. You have to be willing to “do the work”. Carter and I both agree that you must get to the point where you put the time and effort into bettering your relationship. So, until next time, XOXO Dr. B

EP:85 It's really hard to have healthy communication within a partnership. It’s something that you have to make an active effort to build within your partnership. There's three levels of communication. First phase: The chaos tit for tat. YOU. YOU. YOU. Second phase: the psychological phase of communicating..  I'm trying to hear you but I don't understand because I did that and you did this. Third phase: the most deep layer is how do I feel… The I statements. Carter and I have put in a lot of work to get to where we are today and we thought it would supportive to all of you to share what has worked, tips and tricks and tools and our journey along the way of how our communication has gotten to where it has gotten. We would love to know what holding you back from building stronger communication within your partnership in the comments below.

EP:84 I used to be a raging people pleaser. I did everything for everyone, for all the wrong reasons, I did what I thought I should do, I did what I thought I should do as a mom, what I should do as a wife, what I should do as a friend, what I should do as a sibling. You name it, I did it. If you ever find yourself saying yes to things, you have absolutely no time or energy for or to complete. And you maybe even shy away from difficult conversations, or you find it really difficult to ask for help. Or you never accept help when it's given, you could potentially be a people pleaser.One of the biggest gifts of doing this work with clients is getting to observe their own shedding and their own people pleasing. And it is truly part of mental health is releasing your people pleasing tendencies. Because if you're doing everything for everyone else, you're not doing for yourself, not nearly as much as you should. And if you're not doing enough for yourself, then that means that your mental health is suffering. That means that you are neglecting yourself. Living in integrity with yourself aligning your self to your own purpose. That takes time that takes energy that takes effort, but don't ever settle. Don't ever settle for showing up in the world just simply for others. Because when you continue to self neglect when you continue to support others and not yourself, it does eat away at you. And so start small. Take the steps that I've given you and remind yourself that you're worthy, even if it ruffled feathers, you're so worthy. On this week’s episode of Thrive Like a Parent podcast.. Learn how you too can become a reformed people pleaser.

EP:83 Today is the day after the three-year anniversary of Jonathan's death. And my grief story was probably the fourth or fifth podcast that I ever recorded. A year and a half ago, I was bursting at the seams to finally share what happened. But felt like, at least Charlie, my older son needed to know before the rest of the world. We have a very hard time processing death, nonetheless, someone choosing to take their own life. And so I waited. I waited until either one of my children were ready. Eli, my youngest son, still doesn’t know today what happened. And that’s ok. He's asking questions, but we're going to wait until he's ready. Charlie has been wonderful at giving that respect to Eli, and waiting until his brain is ready to process. There's so much of my story I haven't told and I think I'm ready.The only reason I share my story and journey will always go back to my why. I know others have been through this or are going through this. And I don't want anyone to feel alone.In this podcast, I will share with you the importance of taking care of yourself and getting the support that you need while going through a divorce and have your spouse go through a mental illness. I will also share the journey of blame, pointing fingers, opinions and judgement that occurs after the passing of your spouse and the importance of boundaries and drawing lines in the sand of this “this is ok” and “this is not ok”. Lastly, I will show you how you too can show up for yourself. Unapologetically you are going to say the hard things you are going to tell the truth you are going to give the hard information you are going to be you whether people like it or not, is not easy. But you have to make a commitment to yourself. Don’t miss this podcast episode. It’s authentic and real and informative and healing. Let’s journey together.

EP:82 Today, I am really excited to have on Sarah Reardon who is a board-certifiedpelvic health physical therapist. She currently works at a private practice called Nola Pelvic Health and has anonline (Instagram account) exercise platform called, The Vagina Whisperer, that she created six or seven years ago to help folks from all over. Today, she hasover 600,000 followers. I just don’t think that this is talked about enough. And our pelvic floor health andfor all the dudes, the men, the dads, any of you human males who listen to thistoday, we will probably talk more about the female reproductive system and allthe things but this does affect males too. And I don’t want to take that away fromthe men.But I really wanted to talk about females and our bodies and what happens afterchildbirth, because a lot of the individuals who listen to this podcast are parents and I don’t think there is enough conversation around it. I think it’s very taboo.In this podcast, we will dive deep into what is normal versus what’s not normal in the pelvic health world.We are going tp discuss questions that most don’t want to ask but questions need to be asked so that we can get answers.Sara will also teach us how to do a proper Kegel and she explains her V-hive and what that looks like and how it is designed for all seasons in life.She also shares with us how she has been able to show up for herself and show up for her businesses and do all the things that she does while also having two kids.It is a journey you do not want to miss hearing.Don’t miss this informative, inspiring podcast with the AMAZING Sarah Reardon.

EP:81 Welcome to another episode of Thrive like a parent podcast. I have Derrick Cahill here and he is the bomb.com.Derek is a stand up comedian and social media content creator focusing on authentic and relatable parenting stories. Derek is also a dad of three.His whole movement on the internet is this “pursuit of me”, finding first of all being happy. And second, being surrounded by people that accept him.In this podcast, we discusses the journey of getting to the “second mountain” on a personal level.Derick is a very creative person and this is who is been all his life and so the internet has been an outlet to share his creativity of life and how you can get to a place of happiness by being just you. Although he is still on this journey, he encourages and shares, and is authentic in doing so for the community he has developed and created.If you want to hear more of Derek’s journey join us, trust me you won’t regret it.XOXO,Dr. B#parenthood #thrivelikeaparent #podcast #newepisode #innerself #bounderies #journey #trusttheprocess #trustyourself #parenting #parentsupport #podcastforwomen #podcastforentrepreneurs #podcastforparents #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystemhealing #healingjourney #joyinthejourney #areyouhappy

EP:80 Love is a muscle and love can absolutely atrophy. It will slowly wear out until you can’t find how to access it anymore if not utilized and exercised.That is why there is common theme of feeling like there is no room left for oneself in relationships. This feeling of being spent and exhausted can lead to loneliness, resentment, and breakdown of communication.And it takes a lot of effort to utilize that muscle and get that love muscle back so you must make the time the time for it.You and your partnership are so worthy of not feeling lonely. You and your partnership are so worthy of feeling aligned and connected and working together as a team. And most importantly, if you feel this way, if you feel like your partner has nothing left for you. I want you to know you’re not alone. And it is okay to communicate and talk to your partner about it.Tune in for this week’s episode of Thrive Like a Parent Podcast.XOXO,Dr. B#parenthood #thrive #thrivelikeaparent #newepisode #healthyrelationship #communication #troubleinparadise #nervoussystem #nervoussystemregulation #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #emotionalregulation #selfregulation #podcast #parentingtips #parentingpodcast #podcastersofinstagram

EP:79 Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the slight clutter or mess in your house, and you’ve walked in the door, only to feel overloaded by scattered papers orunwashed dishes and clothes and disarray. Maybe you’ve even had arguments because it bothers you more than it bothers your partner, or your your spouse. I want you to know, most importantly, you are not alone. When my house is clean, and there is no clutter, I have a peaceful mind. The state of cleanliness for some brains, helps you feel like you have structure, stability and control, which helps you feel like you have that within your life and within your brain. 8 Reasons to Eliminate Clutter from your Life: 1. Clutter bombards our minds with excess stimuli. 2. Clutter distracts us by drawing our attention away from what our focusshould be on. 3. Clutter makes it more difficult to relax. 4. Clutter constantly signals your brain that your work is never done. 5. Clutter makes us anxious, because we’re never sure what it’s going to taketo get through to the bottom of the pile. 6. Clutter creates feelings of guilt. 7. Clutter inhibits creativity and productivity by invading the open spaces that allow most people to think, brainstorm, and problem solve. 8. Clutter frustrates us by preventing us from locating what we need to quickly. Join me on this week’s episode of Thrive Like a Parent for tips to declutter your space and your mind! #podcast #sensoryregulation #parenting #sensoryregulation #emotionalregulation #overstimulatedmama #video #viral #reels #fyp

EP:78 You find self love for yourself by putting yourself first. You find self love by giving back to yourself, by saying no, by asking for help, by giving yourself moments of calm. That's how you thrive in the chaos of life.  That is how you fall in love with yourself. That is how you find self worth and self love.It doesn't make you a bad person for choosing yourself. It doesn't make you a weaker individual. It makes you a strong human. For being able to own your mental health, being able to own what you can and cannot do. My wish for you is to start thinking about how you want to live your life, how you want your life to look within the chaos of life, because it is always chaotic. But there is a way to do this life without crashing and burning. There is a way to put yourself first even in the most strenuous of moments, even in the most strenuous of circumstances, and it is okay to lean into that rabbit hole of taking care of yourself and listening in to what your body needs. Tune in to this weeks episode of Thrive Like a Parent podcast and chat about how we all can thrive in midst of chaos.

EP:77 We're more exhausted than ever. We're more burnt out than ever. We're pushing so hard but yet getting stuck on a hamster wheel of unhappiness… Erika has done a phenomenal job seeing that reality and taking it upon herself to decided.. I’m going to take matters into my own hands and decide that I'm going to be in control of my own life…. On this week’s episode of Thrive Like a Parent join Erika and I as we discuss how we found our own freedom in today’s world of chaos and how you too friend can start living a life that is aligned to exactly what feels right and best for you! #podcast #parenting #sensoryregulation #emotionalregulation #viral #video #fyp