Thoughts from your gal pal

Happy Mother's Day! I hope you remembered to get your mom flowers. And if not, consider this email your reminder to, at least, call your mom. My sister Maggie and I interviewed my mom, Virginia, a few Fridays ago. After testing the camera and the mics the night before, we texted her to arrive “camera ready” for a surprise. Beginning at 7:30 AM, we started our line of questioning… after some light roasting. I don’t have all that much to say about this episode. But, I predict I’ll cherish recording this conversation - playful, casual, curious - long after I click publish. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/swl59lHWMeg [01:04]: Ways Virginia is saving the world [06:55]: Virginia’s pet peeves: grammar, manners, “it’s no problem” [10:16]: Comment on famous moms [14:22]: What were your growing-up years like? [16:21]: Virginia shares more about her mom [17:49]: What was going on in life when you found out you were first pregnant? [21:17]: Who was your favorite child at each stage of life? [24:49]: Comment on your kids as adults [26:02]: What are mom cliches that are true? What about false? [29:30]: What’s it like being a grandma? [31:48]: What’s the best part about being a mom? [33:55]: What parts of mom’s parenting will we implement as parents?

📺 Watch this interview on YouTube -- The year is 2005… George R. R. Martin releases book four in the Game of Thrones series: A Feast for Crows. Sarah J. Maas studies Creative Writing at Hamilton College in Clinton, New York. In three years, she will send the transcript of her debut novel Throne of Glass, which she started writing at age 16, to potential publishers. Brandon Sanderson, from his Utah home, publishes his Elantris. This fantasy novel will kick off Sanderson’s prolific writing career. As of 2023, 14 Sanderson books are in print. Taylor Vannatta, age 9, crushes his Accelerated Reading quizzes in the computer lab at Oak Grove Elementary School in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. The books he’s quizzed on? Fantasies. Eragon, Harry Potter, etc… Taylor's storied love of fantasy inspired this April 2023 episode. Additional inspiration includes Taylor’s April birthday, Taylor Swift weekend in Atlanta, and my sticking to a monthly publishing schedule. Enjoy! Show Notes [03:58] >> Taylor was scammed! [08:12] >> The Vocal Warm Up [10:13] >> Talking on the phone on the bus [12:41] >> Shoes in the house [14:23] >> What do you call your in-laws? [15:03] >> Greet a new, male friend [15:55] >> Getting out of a conversation with an elder [18:38] >> Taylor's fantasies: His reading origin story [20:44] >> What makes a good fantasy book? [22:44] >> What makes a good *adult* fantasy book? [24:20] >> Who is your favorite fantasy character? [25:22] >> Sex scenes in Game of Thrones [25:52] >> Is there value in having romance/sex in fantasy books? [29:56] >> Influence me, Taylor [31:02] >> The Brandon Sanderson Pitch

This month’s episode fits the month of loooove. It’s the end of February, baby! The title of today’s email/the podcast/the YouTube video is inspired by the Jillian on Love podcast (I recommend it for those, like me, with anxious attachment styles) and the genre of books titled Loving Someone with <Insert Mental Illness>. Example 1. Example 2. Need I continue? And I’m not saying that being in academia is a mental illness! Rather, an inclination? A passion? An obsession (at times)? According to my guest today, my sister Emily, there aren’t many resources or discussion forums for “mixed couples.” Which sounds horribly inaccurate to say in the context of literally all social norms. But in this case, I’m talking two people in a relationship — one in academia, one not in academia. This is the situation for Emily and her husband Scott. They’ve navigated the benchmarks of their romantic relationship — dating, engagement, long distance, marriage, and a new baby with the benchmarks of a PhD to professor life tarck — defense, gradation, post-doc, university interviews, and teaching. So I pose these questions to Emily What are the challenges? The benefits? The hard conversations? Lots of questions, lots of thoughts! Hope you enjoy this month’s ep. It’s sub 35 minutes I really restrained myself :) A note from Clara Looking to find ten (10) guests for the rest of 2023. It’s zero work on your end other than a 45 min virtual call with yours truly. I write the questions, you bring the experience. Message me if interested!

This interview was filmed in the peak of summer. Breezy lakeside air caressed my face as I indulged in my ritual of a mid-day bike ride. Now there’s snow crunching under my feet as I tread sidewalks carefully to avoid an unintentional slip and fall. Thankfully, the content of this conversation is evergreen. I’m thrilled to share it with you, For Annie, (though it’s from what feels like) Forever Ago. Annie bubbles over with enthusiasm. Maybe it’s her welcoming smile. Maybe it’s her eye contact — it’s really good! Maybe it’s her curly hair. (Does she employ the curly girl method? We didn’t get into that topic, but feel free to drop opinions in the comments.)  My thoughts of Annie were forever positively cemented when she spoke truth with, “The right guy at the wrong time is the wrong guy.” I’ve referenced that phrase innumerable times as I’ve counseled my friends and myself.    In this ep, we talk: life transitions, moving to a new country, career changes, and gray zone values, all with the comforting tone of mutually encouraging girl gab. It’s meandering. It’s sprinkled with joy. It’s giving phone call from a friend you haven’t talked to in five years vibes. Perfect for a commute or while cleaning your house.    ✍🏻 Subscribe to me on Substack: https://clarajennings.substack.com/

Dear Emily, my trusted friend   Tenderly and honestly speaking, I tend to get lost. Both along the path and in the details. When carrying the weight of a backpack full of deeply-felt emotions, decision fatigue takes on a whole new meaning. My friend Emily Swift, an o.g. firsty-lasty in my family (the double name used to designate between sister Emily and friend Emily) has been an unaffected and hilarious guiding light for me since I was 5 years old. Though she and I have the common bond of being insanely smart and even more insanely funny, Emily and I see the world and problem-solving differently. While I seek comfort in the advice and recommendations of others, Emily opens 30 browser tabs to do her own research because she knows her informed decision is, ultimately, the only one that matters.  The topic for this podcast was nebulous at best, we meander through a variety of topics: Emily’s decision-making process, the enneagram types, and why Emily is Abercrombie and I’m the Gap, and the good stuff: Dear Emily and the answer to four listener questions.   Show Notes 08:24: GAP versus Abercrombie 14:30: How do you take an abstract problem and solve it? 20:36: What truths does Emily live by? 24:14: Dear Emily 25:06: Question #1: Contemplating a job change 26:50: Question #2: New person at work, they want to be your friend but they’re fucking weird 28:50: Question #3: Want to get a hold on a personal goal - finances, weight, grad school… How do you start? 31:31: Question #4: You went on a first date with a guy and he hasn’t texted you, but you want to text him to hang out. What do you do?

Happy Friday! I’m baring my soul this week on the pod. I hope you enjoy my solo journey behind the mic this week. Opener [2:30] >> Is ketchup technically a smoothie? Podcast [3:20] >> Future episode idea - living in Chicago vs. Atlanta vs other cities [4:26] >> Who is your dream podcast guest? [5:14] >> How do you keep questions going when things get awkward? [8:16] >> I want more spice and hard-hitting questions [9:20] >> Who is your favorite podcaster to follow/listen to? / Biggest pod inspo? [13:22] >> What is your long-term ideal direction for the pod if you have you? [19:12] >> How often do you listen to podcasts not your own? [21:24] >> Do you do any retakes or bloopers? Personal [22:15] >> Tell me your worst kiss [22:56] >> What’s the best relationship you’ve made in the workplace? [24:57] >> When in a hookup is the correct time to bring up that you’re not on BC? [27:40] >> What’s it like living in a city with good pedestrian infrastructure? [28:00] >> What are your thoughts now on your pivot career-wise and location-wise? [32:11] >> What is something you thought would be a bigger deal than it was? [32:49] >> Do you still plan to open a b&b in the outback one day? Advice [35:54] >> I quit my job and am taking a sabbatical; where should I go for a few weeks to spend the least amount of money? [38:07] >> How do you organize your time (looking for specifics) with your many jobs? 37:58 [44:09] >> Mt. Rushmore roadtrip snacks? Closer [44:59] >>Would you rather eat a piece of poop the size of a walnut or drink a full water bottle of pee?

Question: What’s cleaner than Maggie Vannatta’s house? Answer: My apartment Hah! This answer would spark debate within the Jennings/Thourson/Vannatta conglomerate. It’s no secret that my sister, who (whom?) I fear, is a psycho cleaning lady like yours truly. Maggie and I lived together for three years in college - praise be to all the roommates who we subjected to our presence - and are intimately aware of the ticks, triggers, and strange habits we each exhibit. I’ve had a long love affair with cleaning, organization before and afters, and all the glorious internet wormholes associated with this topic. See: How Clean is Your House?, The Home Edit, and @GoCleanCo No clearer do our psychoses emerge than when discussing the rituals of cleaning. Maggie has recently adopted the FlyLady Cleaning Method to her stack of lists and habits she employs and is here today to share all about it! We talk @RosaPicosa, the Vietnam War, OCedar Mop recs, and of course… screen share that shit the whole time! So I HIGHLY encourage you to give this one a watch over a listen, but that’s just me babies!

Dissecting and complaining about life are two of my favorite past times. Whether you’re an in-person office goer, a wfh king or queen, or some hybrid avatar, lamenting over office culture annoyances can be both therapeutic and cathartic. When you share those conversations with someone who makes you scoff and wheeze from their relentless truth-telling? Now that’s magic. Enter Mike Lopez A coworker from my former life and self-proclaimed beach bum living in Savannah, Georgia. Mike’s swaying back and forth in his swivel office chair, backlit by the sun rising on the east-facing wall of the Biltmore, sharing some shit about his day are some of my favorite memories from my time at the Horn. You know those people who slowly start to smirk when you say something true but a bit risque? You know you’re in a safe space to bitch about life with them? That’s Mike. Below is our conversation. Listen up. Weigh in. Is your office your family? What’s the worst lunch and learn catering option? How many hours of our life will we spend responding to emails? Show Notes [05:03] » Mike’s first impressions of me (lol) [07:27] » Email sign-off ping pong [10:22] » The mindset that the more you work, the better you are at your job/more hardworking you are. Competitive “busyness.” “Most overworked” in a salary job. [14:20] » Flexible hours being some wild perk. Fuck off; you should be able to work around your daily schedule/needs so long as you finish your work and attend meetings etc. [17:35] » Sending someone a message with the expectation they’ll reply to you urgently. Don’t let your poor planning become my emergency. [21:22] » Things being called lunch and learn with no food voucher given lolol. It’s a fkn meeting/presentation. [24:30] » When an office is “family.” [28:08 ] » Assuming a meeting should be 1 hour, it should never be 1 hour [30:50] » People completely ignoring emails or questions within emails [37:17] » Happy hours/after work schmoozing being required to move up in the company

It’s a great gay to be alive, I know the sun’s still shining when I close my eyes… Anyone? Caitlin Hirschler is a ball of fun, energy, and honesty. This episode has been on the books for months now, I just needed to go through my March hiatus and get my momentum back in step. Now that those two items are crossed off the mental life checklist, it’s time to schedule, edit, and share! Guest Caitlin Hirschler and I chatted back in the cold expanse of winter about the differences in her experience with dating apps as a gay woman versus mine as a straight woman. That’s the origin story of this episode, but we take a winding route to get those questions and learn more about the past 4 years of Caitlin’s life, her elevator pitch (it rocks), and her coming out story. Show Notes Monica and Jess Love Boys Accepting a cold email from a couple of lesbians working a homestead in Washington state What “dyke on a bike” means Why Caitlin is unabashedly direct in dating relationships What the gays have to teach the straights re: online dating

I’ve always been mystified by Shrinka Roy. My early memories of her consist of sparse interactions in the Phi Mu side room. Shrinka hunched over a sketchbook, iterating 16 versions of a chair design. Me curiously looking over her shoulder without being too obvious. Did I succeed? Probably not. Subtlety wouldn’t be one of my top strengths on the StrengthsFinder* quiz. *Aside: why was every on-campus organization obsessed with putting me into a personality box? I don’t want to be grouped with other golds, ISFJs, 2w3s, anxious attachment style, etc. As a friend told me recently, I may be an HDMI cord but don’t put me in the drawer. My fascination with her the reverend shrink daddy has only grown with time. When Shrinka gave me positive feedback (my kryptonite) on the Hingexhaustion episode in January and later responded to a poll where I requested suggestions on non-white people who have moved to a new city, I knew the Universe was bringing us together. Though vaguely intimidated by her unhurried aura, I was pleasantly surprised at how well our conversation flowed from subject to subject. We went on a bit longer than I expected. Show Notes A triple Jacket? Undergrad, Master’s degrees, & MBA all from Ma Tech What brought Shrinka to Atlantic Beach, Florida (maybe it was the bars?) Pools within an NFL stadium Why does she has 90 unread text messages? Shrinka’s new backyard project Watch a video of this podcast: https://youtu.be/5-hcasPDDDw Subscribe to me on Substack: https://clarajennings.substack.com/