The Survivors Playbook

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I connect with Brenna McKerrall of Cycle Breakers Counselling, who is a clinical psychologist and consultant who truly understands coercive control and how it presents in abusers, survivors and children. We do a deep dive into how protective parents can meet their own needs as well as their children's. It's an amazing episode, that goes way over my 15-30 minute mark, but it's so good, and, we could've continued. You can find her on social media @cyclebreakerscounselling or on her website at www.cyclebreakers.ca. Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I talk to the amazingly knowledgeable Tara Shuler, communication queen (my title for her!) We all have experts and people in our lives that we need to get onside, to understand our stories, to see our truths to help us and our children. Tara walks us through how we can get experts, professionals, even our active counter parents to listen to what we say, to get them to do what we want. You can find Tara at www.convocontrol.com  or email her directly at [email protected]: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, I highlight the latest addition to the work I do with survivors and protective parents: The App. All of my year of education, knowledge, insights, strategies, and work wrapped into one incredibly convenient, 24/7 coaching app-coaching when you need it. From parenting your dysregulated children, to communication with your counter parent, through to documentation, interpreting your court order, daily regulation and growth exercise- this is your one stop shop.  I wanted to create something accessible to everyone. I wanted to create something that could help change your life and the lives of your children.I wanted one other way to reach more survivors and meet them where they need to be met. I hope you love this app as much as I do- years of my work in one place, designed for you, by me. Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailStories of Hope: Because You Need to Know It Can Get BetterProtective parenting through abuse, coercive control and family court can be one of the loneliest and most exhausting journeys a parent will ever face.When you’re living in the middle of it, it can be incredibly difficult to imagine a future that feels peaceful, stable and hopeful.In this episode, I’m sharing real stories of hope from protective parents I’ve worked with, parents who came to me overwhelmed, isolated, financially depleted, terrified of losing their children, and in some cases, in the darkest moments of their lives.These aren’t stories about everything magically becoming easy.They’re stories about what happens when a protective parent begins to rebuild their confidence, learn to navigate strategically, stop reacting to the chaos, and reclaim pieces of their life they thought they’d lost forever.Because your current circumstances are not necessarily your forever.If you’re in the thick of it right now, I want this episode to remind you:You are not alone.You are not powerless.And this chapter does not get to determine the rest of your story.There is still hope.And there is still a life waiting for you on the other side of survival.Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailIf you’re a protective parent navigating a GAL, parenting coordinator, child therapist, forensic psychologist, custody evaluator, or another professional involved in your family, you may feel like you’re walking on eggshells.You know what’s happening. You know what you’ve experienced. You may have years of documentation, countless incidents, and a child who is struggling—but you’re terrified that saying the wrong thing, getting emotional, or being too forceful will somehow be used against you.In this episode, we’re talking about how to communicate strategically with the professionals involved in your case.I’ll walk you through how to:Stop trying to convince professionals that your ex is a narcissistSeparate facts from interpretationsCommunicate patterns rather than isolated incidentsKeep the focus on your child’s experience and wellbeingProvide relevant information without overwhelming professionalsAvoid turning your child into your evidence collectorUse language that increases your credibilityTake accountability without taking responsibility for your ex’s behaviourStay regulated when you feel misunderstood or dismissedUnderstand the professional’s role and what information they actually needStop trying to convince everyone and start communicating strategicallyBecause being a protective parent doesn’t mean being the loudest person in the room.It means learning how to communicate in a way that protects your credibility, your children, and ultimately your ability to advocate effectively for them.You don’t need to out-manipulate a manipulative person.You need to stop playing the game on their terms.This is your playbook.Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailIf you’re raising more than one child while co-parenting with an active counter parent, you’ve probably felt this impossible tension.One child is in crisis. They need more of your time, your emotional energy, your advocacy. Meanwhile, your other child quietly wonders, “What about me?”As protective parents, we often carry enormous guilt that we’re somehow failing the child who isn’t demanding our attention in that moment.But here’s what we rarely talk about- when the other parent has a clear favourite, creates a hierarchy between siblings, or pits children against each other, those feelings of being overlooked can become even more painful.In this episode, I explore:● Why protective parents are often forced into impossible parenting dilemmas.● How narcissistic family dynamics create sibling inequality.● Why giving one child more support doesn’t mean you love the other any less.● Practical ways to help your children feel deeply loved, seen, and secure—even when life isn’t equal.If you’ve ever ended the day wondering whether you’re getting it all wrong, this episode is for you.Because fair doesn’t always mean equal.And children don’t need a perfect parent.They need one safe parent who keeps showing up.If this episode resonates with you, please share it with another protective parent who needs the reminder that they’re doing better than they think.Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailWhen you’ve escaped an abusive relationship, traditional parenting advice often no longer applies.In this episode, I explore why protective parents must pivot the way they parent because of coercive control, post separation abuse, and family court. Whether you’re raising your children day-to-day or parenting from a distance after they’ve been turned against you, this conversation is a reminder that your love, influence, and impact don’t disappear simply because your access has changed.You’ll learn:● Why parenting during abuse requires a completely different mindset.● How to stop measuring your worth by the amount of time you have with your children.● What it means to parent from afar with intention and integrity.● Why healing yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.● How to model resilience, hope, and life on the other side of escape.If you’re carrying the heartbreak of being a protective parent, this episode will remind you that while you can’t control every outcome, you can become the safe, steady, and emotionally healthy parent your children can return to, today, tomorrow, or years from now.Ready for more support?If you’re looking for guidance from someone who understands the unique challenges of parenting after coercive control, join The Collective, my membership for protective parents, or explore my private coaching program. Together, we’ll help you move from fear and overwhelm to clarity, confidence, and empowered parenting.If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another protective parent who needs this message today.Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when you’ve done everything you can to protect your children—and they’re still being manipulated, alienated, or turned against you?Many protective parents believe that letting go means giving up.It doesn’t.In this episode, Chantal explores one of the most difficult yet liberating mindset shifts you’ll ever make: learning to release what you cannot control without ever abandoning hope for your children.You’ll discover:● Why letting go is not the same as giving up.● How to stop living in constant survival mode without betraying your children.● Why your healing is one of the most powerful gifts you can give them.● How creating a joyful, peaceful life models the courage your children may one day need to escape abuse themselves.● What it means to fight differently—not through fear and exhaustion, but through strength, resilience, and hope.If you’ve been carrying guilt for smiling, finding happiness, or rebuilding your life while your children remain under the influence of an abusive parent, this episode is for you.Because your story isn’t over.And your healing may become the roadmap that leads your children home.If this episode resonates with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another protective parent who needs to hear this message today.For more support, join The Collective, my coaching community for protective parents, or apply for my 8-Week Private Coaching Program to receive personalized guidance as you navigate this incredibly difficult journey.Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailAs protective parents, it’s easy to become consumed by the damage a narcissistic or abusive counter-parent is causing.The lies.But what if you’ve been underestimating your own influence?In this episode, I explore one of the most important truths protective parents need to hear: your child does not need a perfect parent, they need a safe one.You’ll learn:✔ Why one emotionally healthy parent can dramatically impact a child’s long-term well-being✔ The mistake many protective parents make when trying to counter narcissistic manipulation✔ Why your influence matters more than you think✔ What children are actually learning from you, even when it feels like nothing is getting through✔ How to shift your focus from what you can’t control to where your true power liesIf you’re exhausted, discouraged, and wondering whether your efforts are making a difference, this episode is for you.Because the love, consistency, and emotional safety you provide may be shaping your child’s future in ways you cannot yet see.If you’re a protective parent navigating the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissistic or abusive counter-parent, you’re not alone.💜 Join The Collective: a supportive membership community where protective parents learn practical strategies, receive coaching, and connect with others who truly understand.💜 Looking for personalized support? My Private 8-Week Coaching Program provides tailored guidance to help you navigate your unique situation with greater confidence and clarity.Visit: www.chantalcontorinescoaching.comFollow on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingBecause while you cannot control the chaos your child experiences with the other parent, you can become the safe harbour they return to again and again.Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. 

Send us Fan MailYou left the relationship, but somehow they’re still controlling your life.In this episode, I dive into one of the most frustrating realities of post-separation abuse: the narcissistic ex-partner who refuses to let go. Whether they’re using the children, the court system, constant conflict, manipulation, intimidation, or endless communication to maintain control, many protective parents find themselves trapped in a cycle that feels impossible to escape.You’ll learn:● Why narcissistic counter-parents continue their abusive tactics long after separation● The difference between co-parenting and managing a high-conflict personality● How coercive control often continues after the relationship ends● The biggest mistakes protective parents make when trying to deal with a narcissist● Practical strategies to reduce conflict, protect your peace, and reclaim your power● Why the key to freedom isn’t changing them—it’s changing how you respondIf you’ve ever wondered why your ex seems obsessed with creating chaos, or why they continue to interfere with your life years after separation, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening and what you can do about it.Because while you may not be able to control the narcissist, you can absolutely learn how to stop giving them control over you.For more support, resources, and coaching for protective parents navigating narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and high-conflict co-parenting, visit Chantal Contorines Coaching and join our growing community of protective parents who are choosing empowerment over survival.Visit: https://chantalcontorinescoaching.com to learn how to work with me. And find it all here at: https://linktr.ee/chantalcontorinescoachingDownload The App for every survivor and protective parent here: https://studio.com/chantal-contorines/coparentFollow me on Instagram: @chantal.contorines.coachingThis podcast is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice.