Of Vegans and Nice Guys and Submissives

Of Vegans and Nice Guys and SubmissivesA broad conversation on my favorite topics of BDSM, Masculinity and Man-Woman Relating in today's culture.— Om Rupaniwww.OmRupani.org

SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS ARE ABOUT GIVING YOUR PARTNER WHAT THEY NEED, WANT & DESIRE.My personal relationship philosophy is no more complex than the above statement.  Give your partner want your partner wants.  Contribute to them.  Make their life easier.  Make their life better.  Contribute to their expansion.  Two people doing that for each other — that’s the golden state.  That’s heaven on earth as far as human relating is concerned.Do whatever works.  I personally have no particular philosophy or ideology on HOW A WOMAN SHOULD BE, or HOW A MAN SHOULD BE.Be however you want.  You are a free and sovereign soul.  Do your thing.  Express yourself as you please.  Your life is yours to live.But, if you want to play the man-woman game, or any relational game, then who you are, how you are, what you do, how you do it - all of that goes into whether you will succeed or fail at being able to give your partner what your partner needs, desires and wants from you.Everything I teach and talk about is constructed on this metric.  My personal approach to creating successful man-woman relating is trying to find as many big pieces that are valid generalizations as to what men want from women and what women want from men.  I personally have no other measuring stick, no authority, no higher source regarding men & women.  What works?  What works most of the time?  Let’s try that.What generalizations are consistent regarding what women want from men?What generalizations are consistent regarding what men want from women?Let’s follow those.  Let’s build on that data.  It’s a pretty reasonable approach.What makes this simple approach a bit more complicated to implement, is that human beings are not obvious creatures.  Our needs and desires are not always plain to see and understand.  Many times, men and women themselves don’t have clear understanding of their true needs and desires.  This is where a little digging is needed.  This is where insight into our nature is needed.These insights often ruffle feathers among people when they go against people’s self-concepts of what it means to be a good man or woman.  But arguing with the insight, or the insight-bringer, is not really necessary.  You be the judge of what is working in your relationships.  If you and your partner are mutually happy and thriving, ignore everyone blabbering their relationship advice.  What do you care?  You are already succeeding at your relationships.  You are happy and thriving.  Keep doing what you are doing.If what you have been doing has not been working and creating great results in your relationships, then it might be worthwhile to consider that some new data and action might be needed for you to create the needed success.  Try something new if you want, or don’t.  All up to you.— Om Rupanihttps://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-coursewww.OmRupani.org

10 BDSM Skills That Can Inform All Relationships : 06 - Own Each Other! / Or, How Relationships Die!Owning a human being is a concept that is a bit out of date by normal standards.As with all things in the BDSM realm, distinctions need to be made between the CONSENSUAL and the NON-CONSENSUAL.Consensual Ownership might be an energy that is direly needed in our culture today.My offer is that ownership is at the heart of what makes all relationships work.  This certainly applies to romantic relationships, whether they be kinky or not.  Beyond that, it even applies to familial relationships and even work relationships. Our life energy flow into that which we own.  When we own the people we care for, we nurture them, and as a result, those relationships flourish.When we withdraw our ownerships energies from a relationship, that relationship begins to wither and deteriorate.It could even be said that the bulk of the lies we perpetrate in relationships are lies about how much we truly own someone.— Om Rupani.www.OmRupani.org

ANNOUNCING NEW IN-PERSON, 7-DAY RETREAT.  IN CYPRUS!  FEBRUARY ’25.I’m very excited to be announcing a new Intensive BDSM Retreat that I will be offering, starting in February 2025.  The workshop is titled BDSM PRINCIPLES & DOM-SUB EXPLORATION.  Over the course of 7days / 6 nights, we will take a deeper dive into the various possible in this realm.Please explore the course page for full details : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course— Om Rupaniwww.OmRupani.org

TALKING TO MY FRIEND JENELLE - A GRADUATE OF OUR PRIESTESS TRAINING.Janelle came into the Priestess Training with little to no knowledge about BDSM, and with very little connection to her own Dominant or submissive archetypes.It’s been fun to watch her journey and to see her come into her own.  These days she considers herself a rather effective advocate for the possibilities that this realm has to offer everyone, including the women she works with as well as couples.We chat about her arc and how she sees herself differently after her own journey and what she feels she is now contributing to others.You can learn more about her here : https://www.feelwildlyalive.com/— Om Rupaniwww.OmRupani.org

DO WOMEN NEED TO BE KEPT IN CHECK?Not all women.  But the women who have the desire for being in a hierarchical relationship should understand this point : One of the functions and responsibilities of the person higher in the hierarchy is to keep the people lower in the hierarchy in check.This is a point that even the people who are actively pursuing polarized dynamics are grasping are often failing to grasp.I see a lot of women who are ready to be with men who are strong and dominant and grounded and making something of themselves in the world.  The women do want their men to ‘take the lead’.  But when it comes to decision-making and directing action, the women are firmly planted in the feminist egalitarian model that all important decisions should be made by democratic vote, and everybody’s thoughts and feelings should be taken under consideration.  All of a sudden, the Dom-sub dynamic collapses into an Occupy Wall Street meeting full of gentle and considerate hand signals.There is no advocacy here on my part.  I am not saying women should take directions from men.  I most certainly am not saying that all the men of the world should keep all the women of the world in check.  There is no ideology here.  What I do want to point out is a cornerstone of hierarchical dynamic that is in the blindspot of many people who are wondering why their dynamic still feels like more work than enjoyment.  If you want a hierarchical dynamic, find a man whose decision making, clarity and judgement you trust and respect above your own.  I grant you, finding this man is not easy.  But these are the basic requirements of functional hierarchy — find someone better than yourself to follow.  And then follow them.Following them means you don’t direct their actions.Following them means they can direct your actions.Following him means he gets to veto your decisions.Following him means, when there is a difference in opinion between you and him, his decision is the final one.He needs to be a man who can hold that position of leadership with ethos, a big heart and desire for a win-win outcome.Find that man.  Then, follow him.— Om Rupaniwww.OmRupani.org

MEN - DON’T TRY TO PARTNER WITH A WOMAN WHO DOESN’T NEED YOU!Men need to be needed.  Men want to be useful.Men’s esteem is intricately connected to them making themselves into the kind of men who are useful to the people around them.  All people — your family, your friends, your bosses and employees, your parents, your brothers, your children, and also your woman.This need is not some kind of a weakness.  It is sane and healthy interdependence.  It means you belong to your tribe.  You belong to your family.  You belong to your loved ones.Your use to others is how you bond with others.If you disconnect from this good and healthy need, you will create failure in your life in a multitude of directions:You will make yourself into the kind of man who is useless to anyone and everyone around you.This will make you into a loner.  Men will not feel much pull to have you as a friend.  Women, most certainly will not be attracted to you.  Nor will you be productive or generative in society.  Nor will you be able to generate value and money and wealth.The healthy esteem of a man is contextual.  We build our value in the context of how we are connecting and what we are providing to the people in our tribe.— — — Your connection with your woman is no exception to this.  In fact, a thriving connection to your woman ought to be the centerpiece of your usefulness, your competence and your contribution.Your woman should pick you because you are tremendously useful to her.She should pick you because her life is better with you than without you.She should pick you because you are able to bring riches into her life that she cannot bring into her own life.If all that is in place, she will look up to you if she is a gracious and balanced woman.  She will acknowledge the contribution you are making to her life.  She will acknowledge how valuable you are to her.  This acknowledgment is an integral part of her respect for you.You should earn this respect.  You should aim to inspire this respect in her.If you are failing to inspire this respect in a particular woman, proceed no further with her.If you are failing to inspire this respect in all women, you need to look at your own life and do better.  Build a fuller and richer life to invite a woman into.  Make yourself more useful to others, including women.If you are proud of who you are and the life you are leading, then, when you are with a particular woman who acts as if you are brining nothing special into her life, move on; that’s not your woman.If you stumble upon a woman who on principle declares, ‘I don’t need no man’, please keep moving.  You don’t need to take offense at her stance.  You don’t need to argue with her.  Please don’t try to change her mind.Rest in your inner wisdom and self-knowledge that you need to be with a woman who needs you, who admires you for what you bring to her, because she can’t bring those aspects to her own life.  You need to be with a woman who respects you for your strengths, abilities and your contributions to her life.Any and all women who fall out of this important parameter, please move away from those women.  Don’t try to partner with them.  Even if they are making advances for partnership towards you while in this attitude, do not start a relationship with them.The vast majority of women in the world today are stuck in their GIRLFRIEND archetype and in their MODERN WOMAN archetype.  Both of these energetic configurations are shadowy energies thawww.OmRupani.org

Speaking on various topics related to BDSM, eros and man-woman relating.www.OmRupani.org

What is a Reclaimed Woman - with Kelly Brogan MDKelly discusses her new book, The Reclaimed Woman which unpacks bitterness and resentment of the modern day woman through rich narratives and thoughtful critiques. It challenges conventional notions of feminism, exploring how societal influences and expectations shape personal identity and relational dynamics. She exposes layers of societal conditioning, revealing the struggles women face in reclaiming their autonomy and voice, inviting a reevaluation of what it means to be empowered, urging a return to authenticity and an embrace of the unique power inherent in the feminine. This work promises to spark thoughtful discussions on the nature of personal growth, the impact of societal narratives on identity, and opportunity we have to heal the root cause of pain, fear, shame, and suffering for women.KellyBroganMD.comwww.OmRupani.org

ASK A PRODOMME!Conversation with Geraecka Lyonns about:The cathartic possibilities in BDSM play.Architecting humiliation play.Releasing shame and guilt through punishment scenes.Pain as a pathway towards rebalancing the psyche.Why powerful men seek out takedown scenes.  The importance of Containment.The freedom to explore inside of Containment.The breakdown of Containment in man-woman relating.The fatigue in the modern women due to lack of Containment.The difficulty in the modern woman embodying her sensuality while she is un-contained.Men building their Containment through facing challenges and doing hard work.The drawback in men outsourcing their warrior energy.Reversing self-absorption to build Containment and reduce anxiety.Containment as prerequisite for healing in any modality.D/s dynamic as a superb invitation for exploring polarity.****************GERAECKA’S INFO : https://www.themarscontract.com/****************OM’S UPCOMING BDSM TRAININGS:PRIESTESS TRAINING - JERSEY CITY; JUNE 22 : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-masteryTANTRA MEETS BDSM - AUSTRIA; AUGUST 16 : https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsmBDSM FUNDAMENTALS & SCENE PLAY TRAINING : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-trainingwww.OmRupani.org